*If a client claims to have been scammed so many times:

[JB_Studio38]

…then why keep contacting guys online who are selling their availability for money 🤦🏽‍♂️ 

this was a prospective client who was supposed to be booking me for an overnight. He arranged an initial nominal deposit a couple weeks back, but I informed him that once we got closer to the day, that my overnight session confirmation/travel would be an additional amount. Especially since this overnight involved travel. On top of that, his location was an extra distance away from the main location my ad was displayed in.
 

He then gives me this whole “I been scammed several times” charade. Okay I understand someone wants to protect their accounts, but using words like “scam” with someone he’s been in touch with for 2 weeks is a bit insulting. 
 

On top of that, I offered the option for the guy to chat with me on the phone: no answer. He was text exchanging me for 2 weeks with XXX discussions and all, which made me borderline think he was a fantasist or smoking 🚬 something and just wanting to talk versus actually meet.

And I can almost bet: the “scams” some refer to are likely non-escorts: I’ve seen first hand the “your iPhone been hacked”, or the emails claiming to be something it’s not. Then clients think anything asking for money ahead is a scam. It’s like hello: use some common sense. If someone is willing to drive miles out of town to see a new person, they probably want to have some assurance. Especially with reviews/ample pics.

Ultimately, the booking fell thru and we didn’t meet. Which was upsetting because I thought I had established a level of trust. But I also wasn’t about to go regardless, because some folks out there will switch the expression: and either not pay the full amount or will say they want a longer session, but then change their mind halfway thru.

 

[sunnysideup]

If he already paid the deposit, which most clients won't do then that should have been enough of a signal. It's not very professional to ask for two deposits, I get that it's out of your way travel wise but the first deposit should've been the right amount to cover that. 

[56harrisond]

@JB_Studio38 was the initial deposit refunded since the meeting didn't occur?

[+ PhileasFogg]

There seems to have been mutual concern here.  You had red flags over your commitment of time/distsnce and he had red flags that were triggered while you tried to mitigate your own risk.   Sometimes it’s just not possible to maintain that symbiotic balance to get past it.

I had a similar experience with layered deposits requested by SkylerDiamond before our first meeting.  But since he was traveling 100 miles I was tolerant but became certain he wouldn’t show.  He did show, he was very late, but he proved to be quite the hustler and scammed me out of much more money a couple months later.   Asking for multiple deposits is a huge red flag to anyone who’s been scammed once and we are very cautious after that.  The balance of mutual trust simply couldn’t be maintained and I’d simply chalk this one up to “it didn’t workout”

 

 

Edited Tuesday at 11:48 AM by PhileasFogg

[Mark_fl]

I would have been put off by two deposits, but if I knew it wqs someone who was a regular contributor here, I wouldn't have been too bent out of shape about it. Perhaps if HE was a regular contributor here you wouldn't have required it in the first place. 

Maybe you should have sent him here to read your history so he wouldn't have had doubts about your legitimacy. 

Personally, if I want to see a provider coming to my town who happens to be a regular here, I'd certainly be less worried. Still wouldn't want to send a deposit if he's already in my town, but would be comfortable that it wasn't a scam or time-waster.

[SecretProvider]

9 hours ago, JB_Studio38 said:

He arranged an initial nominal deposit a couple weeks back, but I informed him that once we got closer to the day, that my overnight session confirmation/travel would be an additional amount.

Bro: the problem is you. You the need to look in the mirror. Asking for a second deposit is a huge red flag. 

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

11 hours ago, JB_Studio38 said:

…then why keep contacting guys online who are selling their availability for money 🤦🏽‍♂️ 

 

 

this was a prospective client who was supposed to be booking me for an overnight. He arranged an initial nominal deposit a couple weeks back, but I informed him that once we got closer to the day, that my overnight session confirmation/travel would be an additional amount. Especially since this overnight involved travel. On top of that, his location was an extra distance away from the main location my ad was displayed in.
 

He then gives me this whole “I been scammed several times” charade. Okay I understand someone wants to protect their accounts, but using words like “scam” with someone he’s been in touch with for 2 weeks is a bit insulting. 
 

On top of that, I offered the option for the guy to chat with me on the phone: no answer. He was text exchanging me for 2 weeks with XXX discussions and all, which made me borderline think he was a fantasist or smoking 🚬 something and just wanting to talk versus actually meet.

And I can almost bet: the “scams” some refer to are likely non-escorts: I’ve seen first hand the “your iPhone been hacked”, or the emails claiming to be something it’s not. Then clients think anything asking for money ahead is a scam. It’s like hello: use some common sense. If someone is willing to drive miles out of town to see a new person, they probably want to have some assurance. Especially with reviews/ample pics.

Ultimately, the booking fell thru and we didn’t meet. Which was upsetting because I thought I had established a level of trust. But I also wasn’t about to go regardless, because some folks out there will change up in person: and either not pay the full amount or be make the session difficult. 

 

Instead of coming on-line here whining and kvetching AGAIN about your clients, you should consider how fortunate you were that you found someone willing to pay you a deposit in advance.
As others have implied, demanding a second deposit before your arrival really took a lot of chutzpah! And since you didn't deny it, Bozo is guessing that you didn't refund the client's deposit even though the deal collapsed.
Don't expect a lot of sympathy. More likely just continued shrinkage of your universe of potential clients.

BTC
🤡
 

[DMonDude]

When you initially set up the meet with this guy 2 weeks ago and asked for the first deposit, did you know at that time he was 3+ hours away from where in town you would be? If you did, then yeah asking for a second deposit later was absurd on your part and would trigger the "wait this feels sketchy..." instinct of anyone.

If when you had initial contact/first deposit, you didn't know he was 3 hours out from where you were staying and that only came up shortly before the meeting time. Then yeah this is just more so a general communication break down. Buuuut asking for a second deposit definitely was fuel on the fire regardless.

All costs/fees should be agreed upon in one go, otherwise they are going to feel like you're just trying to extract money from them in a way that feels sketchy/scam-y.

Edited Tuesday at 06:41 PM by DMonDude

[+ nycman]

[SecretProvider]

Don't make me agree with John Wayne Gacy. 

Edited Tuesday at 09:34 PM by SecretProvider

[savantsav]

I wouldn't pay a second deposit. Your first deposit should've covered the eventuality of them bailing on you + transportation costs.

[danteig]

if it involves that much of travel, I would have asked for an initial deposit that at least covered gas and hotel, then charge the rest once the meeting proceeds. Asking for two deposits is a red flag.

*Edit Personal attack removed

[jeezifonly]

[+ PhileasFogg]

1 hour ago, rickster said:

Unclear why you need to make a personal attack on OP's intelligence.  This is why providers don't really hang out here much.

First, I agree.  I tried to be polite.  
But this OP has a pattern of similar grievances that have frustrated many here - including me - for years.  

[viewing ownly]

No client should ask a provider to travel 3-and-a-half hours to be seen. That's the asinine thing I'm getting out of this from the map.

However, I've driven over 7 hours in one direction to see a traveling provider because I wanted to see him that bad. I arranged a mid-day, and had a blast. Sure, it took up the entirely of 1 day for me to see him, but it was worth it. 

[DMonDude]

10 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

No client should ask a provider to travel 3-and-a-half hours to be seen. That's the asinine thing I'm getting out of this from the map.

Providers travel to other cities, across state lines, and to other countries to see clients all the time. That's not the issue here.

[rickster]

1 hour ago, PhileasFogg said:

First, I agree.  I tried to be polite.  
But this OP has a pattern of similar grievances that have frustrated many here - including me - for years.  

I have no problem with people generally pushing back on multiple deposits or specifically what you posted.  But then the conversation descended to @danteig saying "You’re not really that smart are u?"  

[MikeBiDude]

Moderator warning: let’s not attack our fellow posters! Please stay on topic here.