What are your 'fatal flaws' that providers do...

[+ glutes]

That you wouldn't re-hire?

I had a long term massage therapist that I saw abuse his cat.

After I saw that, I will no longer return.

[big-n-tall]

There are 4 things that a provider can do that won’t have me return.

In no particular order:

- seeming personality switch. I had a well known provider (I’d known for years and saw frequently) break off contact with me after I wouldn’t join his onlyfans account. I was having major car issues and told him I’d have to wait to it was resolved before I’d add any extra expense. He kept asking and I told him the same thing. He eventually stopped all contact and wouldn’t respond to me. There were other things leading up to that where he went from being sweet to being rather accusatory.

- overtly aggressive trying to get me to rehire. I have a crazy work schedule sometimes. Also I only book when I have the spare funds to do so. One local provider would constantly ask to meet up even though I told him I’d contact him when I could. Yet he would still contact me asking. It got old real fast. It turned me off and I stopped seeing him.

- saying you do something and then don’t do it. I saw a guy for massage. I later found out he also escorted. He listed kissing in his escort ad and I asked him to verify that he did… to which he said, yes. I made an appointment. During the session we seemed to be having a good time. I go in for kiss and he turns his head. I try again and same result. I finished the session, had a good time even, but I won’t hire him again (at least not as an escort) even though I find him hella attractive.

- lack of enthusiasm. I don’t expect to be treated like I’m a godsend, but if a guy just sits there and doesn’t respond or interact in some way no matter what I do. I definitely won’t try for a second meeting.

- honorable mention. Trying to upsell me during the middle of the action. It really depends on their approach whether I get turned off or not. There was a masseur in Florida who was very engaged in our session and hot as hell. He waited to the end of the erotic massage and asked if I wanted to continue and go further. I had the funds, so I did.

Another example, (which has a few from my list) a very attractive new hire turned me off. He had kissing in his ad and I asked to verify. I also told him I wanted to top him. When we met, early on, I felt maybe this wasn’t going to be a match. He was very nice though so I pressed on. He had an incredible body and when I went to touch him he said, “I just got back from the gym. So my body is sore.” I thought ok, then why did you not tell me beforehand and we could have reschedule. Anyway, I pressed on being careful not to grab him very hard. He made no attempts to do anything. I had to initiate everything. When I asked him to kiss me he reluctantly did so and only light pecks. While i was playing with him body as delicately as I could, he remarks that penetration would be extra. At the moment, I lost my excitement. Shortly afterwards he asked me if he did anything wrong. I just said no, got dressed, paid him and left. I definitely won’t see him ever again.

Edited Thursday at 09:08 PM by big-n-tall

[la_connor]

Instant buzz kills. We're done.

• he's on drugs
• he's been eating garlic and I haven't
• his place is dirty

[mike carey]

3 hours ago, la_connor said:

Instant buzz kills. We're done.

• he's on drugs
• he's been eating garlic and I haven't
• his place is dirty

Isn't it your responsibility to eat garlic to ensure the second item doesn't occur? 😀

[BuffaloKyle]

A provider I recently hired was amazing and we had a ton of fun but he sweated so much you'd think he had just stepped out of the shower by the end of it.

[nomad]

 

12 hours ago, la_connor said:

• his place is dirty

Another reason why I prefer to host at a hotel.  I care not how messed up the room gets from the playdate.  

I remember going to a guy's hotel room once.  Piles of dirty clothes, empty food take away containers, and a pile of cum wiped toilet paper and towels.  The clean freak in me couldn't relax from the get go.  After that, I have them come to me instead so I know the room is clean and any mess I make is mine and not someone else's.  Ick.

Edited Friday at 11:12 AM by nomad

[nomad]

If they are glued to their phone and insist on using it for videos during the meeting, it's an immediate kindly get out now please.  Just say no!

[Wings246]

He couldn’t get his little brother up.  He tried.  I could tell he tried for dear life.  And you can bet your ass I tried with all my might.  It nearly drove me to the brink of an existential crisis.  He felt so bad afterwards and explained that he was exhausted from an all-day hiking trip earlier.  Whatever the reason, he unequivocally plummeted to the rock bottom of my preference list and skyrocketed to the very top of my do-not-repeat list.

[+ FrankR]

Everyone can have a bad day. I know…I’ve had my share. How do you distinguish between a “fatal flaw”, a “bad day” and “immature and needs a little coaching”?

[nomad]

If their 🍑 is obviously not clean. 🤢 Double whammy if their 🍆 smells bad too. 🤮 There is no way its gonna happen.  Bye, bye, bye!!!

Edited Saturday at 10:21 AM by nomad

[Medin]

My short list:

• Poor hygiene.   Everything must be clean including breath. 
• Filthy house or hotel room.   Don't have leftover take-out smelling up the place. 
• Using his cell phone during the session.
• Trying to rush the session when you've paid for 1+ hour. 
• Not providing the agreed upon services. 
• Punctuality.  Being more than 10-15 minutes late. 

[ACluelessGent]

Wear Tod's with white socks. 

[savantsav]

• Drug usage. The kind where you can't either form sentences, or are hyperactive everywhere with the twitching. 
• Performance issues. It happens, I usually give second chances on this but no more than that.
• Upselling. It's OK to do this beforehand but not while going at it.
• Changing the agreement. I had a regular that used to see constantly, overnights, multi-hours, the works. One day he said he was going to use a condom (which we hadn't) and I asked him if he was clearing up something (he wasn't), since I had been STI free for years (vaccines, doxy, prep, etc) I thought it was an odd change of agreement, yet he still wanted to have the same rate. I told him: "Thank you for everything, let me know if this changes in the future". Another escort who knows him told me he had landed a fat whale and he didn't want to risk losing it, which is understandable but it doesn't work for me.

and my #1 fatal flaw:

• Standing me up douched: Stuff happens, flights are delayed, sickness, clients with fatter wallets, I get it, schedules change and things come up... but if you stand me up when I'm already douched, you're not going to be booked again and I'll most likely come here and say what a flake you are. I have NO issues up to an hour before we're supposed to see each other to send me a "Sorry I can't meet, can we reschedule?" I don't need reasons or excuses, it's fine... but if you tell me TEN minutes before the appointment I'm going to be very pissed. If you don't say anything even more so.

[Wings246]

9 hours ago, FrankR said:

Everyone can have a bad day. I know…I’ve had my share. How do you distinguish between a “fatal flaw”, a “bad day” and “immature and needs a little coaching”?

I understand and accept that no one can perform at full capacity 100% of the time.  In my case, I did recognize his attempts and efforts.  That said, his explanation (of being exhausted from his prior activities) ticked me off quite a bit.  For instance, I wouldn’t go rock climbing for 6 hours prior to a job interview and I wouldn’t binge drink and have a hangover the night before I know I have to give an important presentation at 8 AM the next morning.  His explanation indirectly told me he didn’t give too much thought or care to my appointment.  So my dissatisfaction didn’t just stem from his failure to perform.  Well, maybe I was just too naïve to think that he would care that much in preparation for the meeting and/or maybe I expected too much from people in general.

[nomad]

@Wings246 the degree to which guys take into consideration of you varies widely.  A great way to gauge it is to be a forward as possible with them about what your looking to do or get out of the meeting. The ones that deliver on that are the ones that care.  The rest move to do not see again pile.  

[Nue2thegame]

20 hours ago, Wings246 said:

I understand and accept that no one can perform at full capacity 100% of the time.  In my case, I did recognize his attempts and efforts.  That said, his explanation (of being exhausted from his prior activities) ticked me off quite a bit.  For instance, I wouldn’t go rock climbing for 6 hours prior to a job interview and I wouldn’t binge drink and have a hangover the night before I know I have to give an important presentation at 8 AM the next morning.  His explanation indirectly told me he didn’t give too much thought or care to my appointment.  So my dissatisfaction didn’t just stem from his failure to perform.  Well, maybe I was just too naïve to think that he would care that much in preparation for the meeting and/or maybe I expected too much from people in general.

It’s an easy distinction to make. It’s the difference between things that are out of someone’s control and not giving a shit. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

On 8/28/2026 at 4:29 PM, Wings246 said:

I understand and accept that no one can perform at full capacity 100% of the time.  In my case, I did recognize his attempts and efforts.  That said, his explanation (of being exhausted from his prior activities) ticked me off quite a bit.  For instance, I wouldn’t go rock climbing for 6 hours prior to a job interview and I wouldn’t binge drink and have a hangover the night before I know I have to give an important presentation at 8 AM the next morning.  His explanation indirectly told me he didn’t give too much thought or care to my appointment.  So my dissatisfaction didn’t just stem from his failure to perform.  Well, maybe I was just too naïve to think that he would care that much in preparation for the meeting and/or maybe I expected too much from people in general.

Yes. I've noted this before but we had a terrible experience with a provider who came over after going to brunch. He was not drunk, but he could not get erect. Worse, he wouldn't acknowledge it and basically stayed on his belly for an hour. It was so weird. Had he just acknowledged the issue, we could have played around it. And as Wings acknowledged, if you know you have a client, why drink? It's pretty well known that guys can struggle after a few drinks. 

[Wings246]

On 8/29/2026 at 3:26 AM, nomad said:

the degree to which guys take into consideration of you varies widely.  A great way to gauge it is to be a forward as possible with them about what your looking to do or get out of the meeting. The ones that deliver on that are the ones that care.  The rest move to do not see again pile.

 

On 8/29/2026 at 10:22 AM, Nue2thegame said:

It’s an easy distinction to make. It’s the difference between things that are out of someone’s control and not giving a shit. 

 

5 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

And as Wings acknowledged, if you know you have a client, why drink?

I gave him a 7-item to-do list days before the meeting and he was fine with all of them.  And trust me, there was no outrageously kinky stuff.  All of my requests were rudimentary, entry-level activities that any adult could easily execute and yet, it didn’t happen.  That’s why I found it rather inexcusable.

Now that I think more about this regrettable encounter, here’s another “fatal flaw” (same meeting, same provider who couldn’t get it up): about 10 minutes before our appointment end time, he not so subtly hinted that he had to go to dinner with his family in about 15 minutes and he needed to get ready.  I interpreted it as he was urging me to get dressed and leave.  Seriously???  You failed to perform and at the same time, you wanted to get rid of me early?  Please give me a holy goddamn break.

Edited 23 hours ago by Wings246

[SecretProvider]

I do kiss my clients.  

I have to say though, sometimes clients will ask you 'do you kiss?', and you confirm you do and then when they arrive they have literal rotten teeth expecting you to passionately put your tongue in their mouth. 

[nomad]

26 minutes ago, SecretProvider said:

I have to say though, sometimes clients will ask you 'do you kiss?', and you confirm you do and then when they arrive they have literal rotten teeth expecting you to passionately put your tongue in their mouth. 

It can cuts both way.  Sometimes it is obvious the other person hasn't brushed their teeth prior to the meeting and/or has bad breath.  It's a total turn off.  I think both parties need to be considerate of the other and make the basic courtesy is to brush and use a mouthwash so the first peck isn't the last one you engage in.  

[ACluelessGent]

2 hours ago, nomad said:

It can cuts both way.  Sometimes it is obvious the other person hasn't brushed their teeth prior to the meeting and/or has bad breath.  It's a total turn off.  I think both parties need to be considerate of the other and make the basic courtesy is to brush and use a mouthwash so the first peck isn't the last one you engage in.  

Add dental cleaning to the list. I make it a habit to go to my dentist before the first meeting with a guy I like.

[nomad]

1 minute ago, ACluelessGent said:

Add dental cleaning to the list. I make it a habit to go to my dentist before the first meeting with a guy I like.

That is next level dude! Good for you!

[SecretProvider]

4 hours ago, nomad said:

It can cuts both way.  .  

No provider has teeth like that bro.  Be real. 

[ACluelessGent]

3 hours ago, nomad said:

That is next level dude! Good for you!

Just to clarify, it's ok if I had my dental a month or two before, but if it was say 3 months or more I go first to my dentist.

Coincidentally, yesterday, I met for the first time with someone and he kept kissing and kissing me. It felt rewarding. 

[+ Jamie21]

19 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Worse, he wouldn't acknowledge it and basically stayed on his belly for an hour. It was so weird. Had he just acknowledged the issue, we could have played around it.

Had there been some kind of miscommunication and he was expecting to bottom?? 😂.  I think you are right to try to play around it. I’ve been in situations where for whatever reason I wasn’t hard and if the client didn’t make an issue of it and we ‘played around it’ then so it transpired that I did get hard. Once it becomes ‘a problem’ then there’s virtually no chance of getting hard.

A recent massage client had been playing with me most of the massage and I’d been hard but when it came to the point for him to turn over I was kind of semi. This wasn’t a situation where the client was expecting me to fuck him (indeed he’d asked that nothing go inside him before we started) but he took my hardness as an indicator of whether I was into him. Sometimes with guys I get ‘top’ vibes off I will straddle him on the table so he can play with me while I wank him behind my back and rub his cock on my hole. This client seemed to like that but he said to me as he wanked me while I straddled him ‘you’re not very hard’. Of course that made me anxious and wasn’t conducive to me getting harder!! Then he asked me if I was faking it 😂. By now I knew what I was dealing with so I just said to him if he kept wanking me like that I’d probably cum. He wasn’t very good but the combination of his hand and feeling his cock brushing my hole has got me close to cuming. I worked his cock behind my back, got him close and then I shot over his chest which surprised him and then I felt him shoot his load too.

As I was cleaning him up he said again ‘ you weren’t very hard I thought you were faking it’ to which I replied ‘you can’t fake that’ pointing at my load on his chest. 

I reflected afterwards that the guy was probably straight (there were other signs) and inexperienced with guys. He was my fourth client of the day. Sometimes clients don’t appreciate that.