Delays in appointments, when to throw in the towel?

[ACluelessGent]

Hi all! This is my first post. So, I’ve been hanging out with this guy for a bit, and he’s constantly like two or three hours late. It used to really get to me, but now I just expect it and plan my day around him. He's young and hot, so I just let it slide.

[Nue2thegame]

7 hours ago, ACluelessGent said:

Hi all! This is my first post. So, I’ve been hanging out with this guy for a bit, and he’s constantly like two or three hours late. It used to really get to me, but now I just expect it and plan my day around him. He's young and hot, so I just let it slide.

Welcome to the forum. That’s great if that works for you. I can imagine a day and a date that would be fine with me, too, but most of my days are too structured for that to work. 

[Mark_fl]

7 hours ago, ACluelessGent said:

Hi all! This is my first post. So, I’ve been hanging out with this guy for a bit, and he’s constantly like two or three hours late. It used to really get to me, but now I just expect it and plan my day around him. He's young and hot, so I just let it slide.

People treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. If you want his services more than he wants your money, this will work out for you. If you cancel every time he's going to be late because you have other plans, he will either stop being late, or you will stop seeing him. Like you said, you're OK with it, so it works for both of you. 

If his communication is good, and he asks if it's OK, that's a different story, but if he was just late without communication,  I'd just treat that as cancelation. 

[ACluelessGent]

12 minutes ago, Nue2thegame said:

Welcome to the forum. That’s great if that works for you. I can imagine a day and a date that would be fine with me, too, but most of my days are too structured for that to work. 

Thank you! My days are packed, but my evenings are free. So I pour a gin and tonic, put on some music, and just unwind.

[ACluelessGent]

16 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

People treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. If you want his services more than he wants your money, this will work out for you. If you cancel every time he's going to be late because you have other plans, he will either stop being late, or you will stop seeing him. Like you said, you're OK with it, so it works for both of you. 

If his communication is good, and he asks if it's OK, that's a different story, but if he was just late without communication,  I'd just treat that as cancelation. 

It's OK, I am used to it and he is giving my play-by-play of his commute and ETA.

[nomad]

Good communication goes a long way.  Some send a live location link which give you a very accurate idea of when they will show up.  Love it when they use the technology to both of parties benefit.

[manorbrown]

All 3 of my favorite guys are chronically tardy. Instead of reacting with anger or not seeing them anymore, I decided to show them grace. While they’re no more punctual than before (😁) they all seem to even more eager to please when they arrive.🤷🏿‍♂️. I just chalk it up to this newer generation not being as professional as us Gen X’ers…..

[+ PhileasFogg]

Many of us have lives and schedules that are packed.  I was raised in the character of “if you’re not early, you’re late!”

The greatest respect that can be offered a busy person is honoring the value of their time. Especially if they’ve honored yours by being on time themselves.

I had a regular in another city that just couldn’t get that.  Whether traveling, or just something simple, he just couldn’t get it.  I like him, but the liability to my schedule became too much.   

Ironically, I tested the waters twice with him later.  He even said “I know it’s important to you…I’ll be on time”…and he was horribly late.   There won’t be a third time testing the waters.  

[Wings246]

19 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

I was raised in the character of “if you’re not early, you’re late!”

Same here.  I was (still am) conditioned & brainwashed by my late father, who was neurotically punctual / early for every commitment.  If I don't arrive AT LEAST 15 minutes prior to the agreed upon time, I'm considered late.  Unfortunately, that's not how our current world operates.  So, once in a very, very, very blue moon, if someone shows up early, I'll be thoroughly impressed and amused.

Going back to the central question of this thread, a 30-minute tardy is a test of my tolerance; anything touching the 1-hour mark will induce a mental breakdown.

[nomad]

5 hours ago, Wings246 said:

Going back to the central question of this thread, a 30-minute tardy is a test of my tolerance; anything touching the 1-hour mark will induce a mental breakdown.

You have identified your threshold for throwing in the towel!

[Wings246]

18 hours ago, nomad said:

You have identified your threshold for throwing in the towel!

Luckily, for me, my "worst" provider tardy record so far was only a 10-minute delay (due to downtown traffic accidents that I could verify on my GPS).  So the limits of my tolerance have not yet been fully tested.

Edited June 3 by Wings246

[Heart It Deep]

A lot of good stuff in this thread. 

I have had some providers push 30 minutes or more, and I typically don't rebook in that case..  I typically am early, so this means, I was waiting in a hotel lobby for 30 minutes, or ended up killing time at a nearby bar or eating spot, for a meeting and someone's apartment for an incall.  In all three instances, that providers were 30+ minutes late, they all happened to be European or South American.  I gave the benefit of the doubt that this was a cultural difference?  That said, it's makes the experience start off on the wrong foot for me.  

I also recently, had a provider cancel on my same day recently due to illness.  Unfortunately, we rescheduled, and then it happened a second time.  The kicker for me on this one, was that I had already cleaned out to bottom.  Not feeling well is a legitimate excuse, but twice is a row is suspicious.  

 

[Bargara Leatherboy]

For some of us hiring is a special occasion - and sometimes to fit it into our life with our husbands / partners the timing has to be critical.

So delays are annoying.

My most recent hiring experience, he said up front that he was not going to be able to make the time, as I was on my own in a city hotel that was good.  We settled on a time, he was operating out of a serviced apartment in a big block, I go there, messaged him and he said he was not quite ready but would message me when he was, there were places to sit where it was not obvious so that was fine.  When he did message me to say he was ready, the session was amazing.  He was not a clock watcher and we spent a long time snuggling on the bed as our cum dried, talking.  This will be a repeat.

As in everything in this hobby/ business it comes down to good communication 

 

[Wings246]

On 6/4/2026 at 5:26 PM, Heart It Deep said:

I also recently, had a provider cancel on my same day recently due to illness.  Unfortunately, we rescheduled, and then it happened a second time.  The kicker for me on this one, was that I had already cleaned out to bottom.  Not feeling well is a legitimate excuse, but twice is a row is suspicious.

Same day cancellations at the last minute?  Due to the same reason?  After you spent so much time on preparations?  That's not JUST suspicious.  I'd have blacklisted that person for good.

[Luvtalls]

I seem to be on a roll with flakers. It’s happened so many times to me lately I don’t actually expect the meeting to happen. I don’t dicker on the price at all, I offer to host or come to them yet I just got canceled last night a half hour before the scheduled appointment. These guys must not need the cash as they certainly don’t act like it!

[+ KensingtonHomo]

We actually don’t have much issues with lateness. Occasionally someone will run late but they usually let us know. I wouldn’t rebook someone who was late without a seemingly good reason. And certainly not if they were late twice. 

[viewing ownly]

I hate late. That though in 2026 is a me problem. Being on time really is a thing of the past. How often does the younger generation even care what time it is? The only people who ask me if I have the time are in their foot in the grave years. 

My most aggravating appointment was a guy who presumed I wouldn't be on time, and saw me a half hour after my 2-hour appointment while he went out for a nice brunch. I deducted 30 minutes from his rate, as I had somewhere at a specific time to be after him, so his offer of making up the time by going longer wasn't acceptable. He is now out of the business. 

[+ nycman]

It depends…..

Sometimes I’ve called off a meeting if the provider was 10 minutes late and had not bothered  to notify me, and sometimes I’ve waited over two hours if the provider kept in touch. 

What else I have scheduled that day, what other options I have, my mood, how many other people have  pissed me off that day, the phase of the moon, how horny I am, if I’ve seen the provider before, the list of factors influencing my decision goes on and on. 

But once I’ve decided not to see you, I stand firm in my decision, no matter what.

[ACluelessGent]

Years ago I was pursuing a young fashion model. Asked him out, said yes and was 2 hours late... So I gave up, returned home and then he came to my place... To cut a long story short, after that first night, we started dating, then living together and today he is my best friend. 

Edited Thursday at 05:36 PM by ACluelessGent