Intro to Aging, Sex, Loss of Arousal, etc

[Doe Be Doe]

Hi. Does anyone know of a guide to aging and sex? An article, book, website, or something that gives a basic outline of sex as one gets older? Preferably covering, loss of libido, ED, and the various drugs available to address these issues?

Thanks.

[+ Lucky]

Ill bet a lot of guys here could help you out. I know older posters who have lost interest in hiring years ago. I assume that included sex for free.

[jeezifonly]

To eliminate treatable physiological issues, consult your doc. You don't mention your age, but I presume you feel that lowered interest is happening too soon. 

Prescribed meds, blood sugar, cardiovascular issues, weight, low T, or other chemical imbalances can all contribute. Once you know that none of those are at issue, then turn to the laymen. 

Effort–benefit ratio is a personal evaluation, and maybe a small tweak to your routine of diet, supplements, hydration, meds, or activity can help. But first, rule out that this shift of interest might be a sign of other issues going on in your system apart from age. 

[+ SirBillybob]

Most editions of Principles and Practice of Sex Therapy contain a chapter on aging. The latest is this fellow …

Just a moment...

ACADEMIC.OUP.COM

 

Edited December 26, 2025 by SirBillybob

[+ SirBillybob]

…

Edited December 26, 2025 by SirBillybob

[+ sync]

21 hours ago, Lucky said:

Ill bet a lot of guys here could help you out. I know older posters who have lost interest in hiring years ago. I assume that included sex for free.

That is certainly true in my case.  I knew it was coming and I was ready to accept the fact that, as I aged, things would be changing, including libido and sexual activity. 

Current hiring practices have made the adjustment easier.  In the "good old days" of hiring it was just "one, two, three" along with more budget-tolerable price points.  Today the hiring landscape, along with skyrocketing price points, is riddled with scams, misrepresentations, no-shows, etc.

I don't feel I'm missing much.
 

[+ Charlie]

When I was 22, I couldn't imagine a day when I wouldn't get a hard-on at the sight of an attractive male. At 52, I worried about whether an attractive male could get a hard-on at the sight of me, At 82, I had trouble remembering how to get a hard-on. 

[MscleLovr]

Bless you, @Charlie 

As long as you have a strong and comprehensive memory, you can (like me) reflect on and enjoy again the wonderful times you had in the past.

[+ Axiom2001]

On 12/26/2025 at 8:15 AM, sync said:

That is certainly true in my case.  I knew it was coming and I was ready to accept the fact that, as I aged, things would be changing, including libido and sexual activity. 

Current hiring practices have made the adjustment easier.  In the "good old days" of hiring it was just "one, two, three" along with more budget-tolerable price points.  Today the hiring landscape, along with skyrocketing price points, is riddled with scams, misrepresentations, no-shows, etc.

I don't feel I'm missing much.
 

As my friends and aged relatives have been saying recently--aging is a Mother F........er!  At my current age, I no longer get natural "boners."  It only happens when I play with my prostate when a "super rigid" erection occurs.  My hole becomes inflamed and is desirous of a huge and rigid cock entertains it.  My nips are ablaze as well.  This drives me crazy, for it's telling me that I am in need of a strong, very well hung, virile man who can alight my nips as well as my "pleasure point" while I am lying on my back.  

The latter happened three years ago when I was with my now defunct favorite Latino escort in San Francisco who I have been seeing faithfully for over five years.  He described himself as a bi man and always performed and delightfully pleased men.  When he began to advertise as a Straight man, his initial performance changed and was a let down.  We immediately ceased seeing each other.  Afterwards I had one encounter; unfortunately to date I crave a man who is involved in play and whose fee is one that I am willing to fork out.

[+ sync]

5 hours ago, Axiom2001 said:

As my friends and aged relatives have been saying recently--aging is a Mother F........er!  At my current age, I no longer get natural "boners."  It only happens when I play with my prostate when a "super rigid" erection occurs.  My hole becomes inflamed and is desirous of a huge and rigid cock entertains it.  My nips are ablaze as well.  This drives me crazy, for it's telling me that I am in need of a strong, very well hung, virile man who can alight my nips as well as my "pleasure point" while I am lying on my back.  

The latter happened three years ago when I was with my now defunct favorite Latino escort in San Francisco who I have been seeing faithfully for over five years.  He described himself as a bi man and always performed and delightfully pleased men.  When he began to advertise as a Straight man, his initial performance changed and was a let down.  We immediately ceased seeing each other.  Afterwards I had one encounter; unfortunately to date I crave a man who is involved in play and whose fee is one that I am willing to fork out.

Interesting point about your nips, same thing happened to me.  Something brushed my nips and suddenly that "old feeling" was back (temporarily).

[Luv2play]

On 12/26/2025 at 9:20 AM, SirBillybob said:

…

$218 will get me one hour with a guy whose 8.5 inches will confirm for me the importance of the penis. 

[+ Lucky]

On 12/26/2025 at 10:46 AM, MscleLovr said:

Bless you, @Charlie 

As long as you have a strong and comprehensive memory, you can (like me) reflect on and enjoy again the wonderful times you had in the past.

Rest assured, @Charlie has a journal of his conquests!

Edited Thursday at 04:29 PM by Lucky

[+ purplekow]

I would like to add a positive note to the sturm and drang and reminiscences of glory days.  This year has been a great year for sex for me, both bought and paid for and offered as a mutual benefit.  I have relaxed and taken an active role in pursuing and that has worked surprisingly well.  I have been active in working out and in losing some weight but most importantly, I have been more confident in my approach to sex and in my willingness to face inevitable rejections.  Just the other day in the gym a very well built, late 30s year old man walked in to the steam room and basically scouted out the area and turned and left.  Rather than looking upon this as a nice distraction and basically a fantasy, I walked out and in the locker room, struck up a conversation with him.  We spoke for a few minutes and so ended that encounter.  Several days later, our paths at the gym crossed again and as he was leaving the locker room he stopped to speak with me.  When I finished dressing, I found him hanging around in the lounge area.  We talked again and I invited him for dinner and so we are to have dinner next week.  Now this dinner may or may not happen and it may or may not go further, but there is a much better chance of something happening then there would have been if I was just another old man sitting and recalling what used to be.  

As I have aged, my libido and my imagination are just as active as they have ever been.  In this year, and for 2026 and beyond, I intend to allow my actions to be just as active.  I do not expect to have young studs falling at my feet or to be having all night sessions with a variety of dashing gentlemen, but I have decided not to go quietly into that gentle good night.  I intend to rage against the dying of light, hopefully with the occasional raging hard on to satisfy, both my partner's and my own.  

[+ purplekow]

Villanelle said in the Company of Men

 

Life's greatest gift from shave to grave

Unabiding zestful carnality

Never to  be lost to an indifferent wave.

 

Imprisoned desire as a lustful knave

Wastefully misunderstanding life's cruel reality

Life's greatest gift from shave  to grave

 

Believing to be granted all he may crave

Suffusing the present with indiscriminate banality

Never to be lost to an indifferent wave.

 

With maturity one may opt to behave

Or bestow a unique open mentality

Life's greatest gift from shave to grave

 

Senescence demands each to be  brave

To live fully  and appreciate inevitable mortality 

Never to  be lost to an indifferent wave.

 

Visit me buried and read the engraved 

Words said just before my finality

Life's greatest gift from shave to grave

Never to  be lost to an indifferent wave.

[+ purplekow]

Just now, purplekow said:

Villanelle said in the Company of Men

 

Life's greatest gift from shave to grave

Unabiding zestful carnality

Never to  be lost to an indifferent wave.

 

Imprisoned desire as a lustful knave

Wastefully misunderstanding life's cruel reality

Life's greatest gift from shave  to grave

 

Believing to be granted all he may crave

Suffusing the present with indiscriminate banality

Never to be lost to an indifferent wave.

 

With maturity one may opt to behave

Or bestow a unique open mentality

Life's greatest gift from shave to grave

 

Senescence demands each to be  brave

To live fully  and appreciate inevitable mortality 

Never to  be lost to an indifferent wave.

 

Visit me buried and read the engraved 

Words said just before my finality

Life's greatest gift from shave to grave

Never to  be lost to an indifferent wave.

Truth is I had never learned the term Villanelle nor knew of its strange rhythm and rhyme scheme.  I gave myself an hour to write one and while it does not come near the power of Dylan Thomas and "The Dying of the Light" which was written to encourage his ailing father to fight on to live, it is not bad for a Forum populated by aging men looking to hold onto a shred of the sexuality they had in their youth and by the younger men who help them to do that.   

If you care to try to write a Villanelle, post your efforts. 

[Rod Hagen]

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[BeamerBikes]

Laying down my marker.  Just spent the week in Key West story for another thread. I will often travel with my best friend from college days. We are both 48 y/o, allowed our careers and in my case family obligations to consume our personal lives and affect our health.  This past week, I shared with him my hiring habits, need for the little blue pill from time to time to enjoy topping again, the side effects of Testosterone therapy (goodbye the wonderful set of big balls I had in my youth).  He was surprised at my hiring streak.  He’s also on a weight loss journey and the dry spell that comes with age and weight gain at times.  
 

I know I squandered advancing my personal life  mid 20s thru 30s on career and family.  Then 40s I had my own body remind me time is fleeting.  I’m entering my daddy era, I don’t intend to squander any further time. 
 

Likewise, I will treat everyone I interact with grace and respect that should come from an experienced man.  I’m both more direct in voicing my desires, and more intentional in my gratitude. In amusements, I lookout for classy ways to harmlessly flirt.  Favorite one heard from a southern gentleman letting a lady go ahead of him, “I must insist you first.  Folks seeing you ahead of me, can only improve my entrance (with a wink)”.   When done with discretion and reading the room, still shows the dog may have some grey around the muzzle, but he still has some fight left in him.  

Edited 7 hours ago by BeamerBikes

[+ SirBillybob]

On 12/31/2025 at 9:26 PM, Luv2play said:

$218 will get me one hour with a guy whose 8.5 inches will confirm for me the importance of the penis. 

I prefer the $53 e-book old age life chapter price for international non-fiction, the sales table laid out for viewing and vetting and where the same thing can be had with erotic kindling yet not loss of arousal, day or nighttime view and total immersion option, cut or uncut but no paper cuts, typically more consensual clothing damage than bodice-ripping, and sometime greedily turning the page to the next $53 hunk, experiencing the difficulty of shelving any. I don’t understand how publishers get the spine for hardcover upcharges when what gets delivered may be an extensively dog-eared soft cover version. 

Edited 5 hours ago by SirBillybob

[+ purplekow]

On 12/26/2025 at 9:43 AM, Charlie said:

When I was 22, I couldn't imagine a day when I wouldn't get a hard-on at the sight of an attractive male. At 52, I worried about whether an attractive male could get a hard-on at the sight of me, At 82, I had trouble remembering how to get a hard-on. 

To paraphrase Lauren Bacall: You know how to get a hard on don't you, you just get your partner to put together his lips and blow.