Hello from a Lady intersted in the hobby

[+ Alabastrine]

Greetings all around! I've been lurking on these forums for a few weeks (I'm a little shy), so I think it's time for an introduction. I love cooking, gardening and men. I stumbled across this site and really enjoyed reading the conversations. This is a wonderful community you have here, I would love to stick around and learn more about the hobby. I'm hoping to try it in the near future but doing as much research as I can.

Cheers,

Alabastrine

Edited March 20 by Alabastrine
typo

[samhexum]

[mike carey]

Some of us take the arrival of a new member here more seriously than others.

Welcome to the forum! You are not the first woman to join us, and several have been active participants, commenting on a variety of subjects, not just our shared hobby.

I hope you find the forum useful. I see you have been lurking as a member for a at least some of the weeks you've been lurking. Again, welcome.

[+ Alabastrine]

Thank you for the welcome! Yes I have found the forum very useful, and also a lot of fun to read.

[Simon Suraci]

Welcome @Alabastrine! As you have probably gathered, these forums are chock full of cis men interested in discussing and hiring (mostly) other cis-men in the sex work and massage industries. It would be refreshing to hear a woman’s perspective on topics here.

What are your primary interests with regard to hiring?

Please do not be deterred by some pockets of toxic masculinity here when you encounter it. It unfortunately exists here as it does in the wild. It takes a thick skin to get through some unpleasant head butting on certain issues. Some members here have backwards, close-minded views.

My unsolicited advice is: when you encounter those members with problematic views toward women, to let it go and move on. It’s easy to get fatigued being a minority of any kind in this space. Please don’t let that scare you off from sharing your opinions and interests. We want to hear your voice.

-Simon

[+ nycman]

5 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Some members here have backwards, close-minded views.

 

[Nightowl]

Welcome!  Though bigotry and snark do rear their ugly heads on this site, I’ve found it to be, on the whole, a very welcoming site where participants can be themselves.  Glad to have you among us.

[+ purplekow]

I have hired several escorts who had their company enjoyed by generous women.  In fact. one after giving me quite remarkable oral then  tells me about his rotation of women that either hire him or whom he is dating.   He is remarkable in that he is very adept at all aspects of man on man sex, and I am sure his hiring women all enjoy his company, as do I.  He is an actor and had been a romance novel cover model so there is a smoldering sexuality about him that attracts men and women of all ages and types.     Show Reply

[Simon Suraci]

32 minutes ago, nycman said:

Hold on while I skim through your permanent record to make sure. I use an app called Misters Company. I keep detailed notes of members’ asshole behavior on there.

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 3/20/2025 at 1:10 AM, Alabastrine said:

Greetings all around! I've been lurking on these forums for a few weeks (I'm a little shy), so I think it's time for an introduction. I love cooking, gardening and men. I stumbled across this site and really enjoyed reading the conversations. This is a wonderful community you have here, I would love to stick around and learn more about the hobby. I'm hoping to try it in the near future but doing as much research as I can.

Cheers,

Alabastrine

How may we assist you?

PS: some of us love our time with women too 😉

[+ Just Chuck]

@Alabastrine  Welcome to CompanyOfMen!  

I would love to hear some of your thoughts and opinions in several of the threads throughout the forum.  I'm looking forward to seeing you post more here!

[+ Just Chuck]

@Alabastrine Is there something that stands out in your memory that you've been surprised to learn since you joined CompanyOfMen?

[+ DrownedBoy]

Believe me - many "bisexual" escorts (and practically all the G4P ones) came into the business thinking they'd work with women, only to be hit hard by supply and demand. They'd muuuuch rather be meeting with women.

Remember that if you decide to hire. You have an advantage.

[moonlight]

3 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

Believe me - many "bisexual" escorts (and practically all the G4P ones) came into the business thinking they'd work with women, only to be hit hard by supply and demand. They'd muuuuch rather be meeting with women.

Remember that if you decide to hire. You have an advantage.

On the other hand, I know at least a few escorts who advertise as bisexual but are actually 100% gay. So my advice to the OP would be: take that label with a grain of salt. 

[+ Alabastrine]

On 3/20/2025 at 12:21 PM, Simon Suraci said:

Welcome @Alabastrine! As you have probably gathered, these forums are chock full of cis men interested in discussing and hiring (mostly) other cis-men in the sex work and massage industries. It would be refreshing to hear a woman’s perspective on topics here.

What are your primary interests with regard to hiring?

Please do not be deterred by some pockets of toxic masculinity here when you encounter it. It unfortunately exists here as it does in the wild. It takes a thick skin to get through some unpleasant head butting on certain issues. Some members here have backwards, close-minded views.

My unsolicited advice is: when you encounter those members with problematic views toward women, to let it go and move on. It’s easy to get fatigued being a minority of any kind in this space. Please don’t let that scare you off from sharing your opinions and interests. We want to hear your voice.

-Simon

Hi Simon! Thanks for the welcome. As for any members I might run into with headbutting, no problem, I get it. Sometimes not everyone gets along swimmingly and it's the reality of internet forums on occasion 😁

My interests in regard to hiring are split into 3 priorities:
1. A masseur to help my body heal from some injuries and help with some joint stiffness. I've occasionally gotten therapeutic massages and physical therapy from women and found that I felt more comfortable receiving those services from men. I'm past the point where I don't need physical therapy anymore but found the massages did help improve my health during stressful times.

2. I'm also interested in the hobby or "extras"; for certain needs it's likely better to see a professional, instead of wading through all the "random dick" on dating apps lack experience, or care to please. My free time limited, so picking through the chaff isn't an option for me. That's why I'm exploring the possibilities of this hobby.

I fully realize this may mean I'll need different providers. But it would be nice to find one that offers both types of services.

On the latter, this also brings me to...

3. For priority #2, I do have a "type" that I naturally gravitate to. And many of the sites used by masseurs here make it a little easier to find what I might be looking for.

From research I've done so far, word from the ladies who partake in the hobby indicate that it's preferable to seek providers that advertise as "bi" or "gay", as many accept female clients. And there's some elevated risk with providers who advertise as "straight" (unless they have male clients and a decent number of good reviews).

[+ Alabastrine]

On 3/20/2025 at 5:48 PM, Nightowl said:

Welcome!  Though bigotry and snark do rear their ugly heads on this site, I’ve found it to be, on the whole, a very welcoming site where participants can be themselves.  Glad to have you among us.

Thanks @Nightowl! Glad to be here ❤️Most of what I've been reading is cordial but I have seen one or two threads where there's some conflict, but it looks overall like a great community.

On 3/20/2025 at 5:51 PM, purplekow said:

I have hired several escorts who had their company enjoyed by generous women.  In fact. one after giving me quite remarkable oral then  tells me about his rotation of women that either hire him or whom he is dating.   He is remarkable in that he is very adept at all aspects of man on man sex, and I am sure his hiring women all enjoy his company, as do I.  He is an actor and had been a romance novel cover model so there is a smoldering sexuality about him that attracts men and women of all ages and types.     Show Reply

@purplekow ooohhh, "smoldering sexuality" just sent chills down my spine 😁Sounds like he had some really good stories to listen to

On 3/21/2025 at 3:54 AM, PhileasFogg said:

How may we assist you?

PS: some of us love our time with women too 😉

hi @PhileasFogg, for the time being I just enjoy reading the post here, but most of any random questions I have are fairly typical of first timers. I'm not sure how the answers may differ when the client is female vs male - potato potato. although from what I'm reading it seems like female clients can get very loud.

On 3/21/2025 at 5:03 AM, Just Chuck said:

@Alabastrine  Welcome to CompanyOfMen!  

I would love to hear some of your thoughts and opinions in several of the threads throughout the forum.  I'm looking forward to seeing you post more here!

@Just Chuck Thanks! are there any topics you have on your mind? I can try to zero onto those as a slowly ratchet-up the posting activity

On 3/21/2025 at 7:16 AM, Just Chuck said:

@Alabastrine Is there something that stands out in your memory that you've been surprised to learn since you joined CompanyOfMen?

Good question @Just Chuck, I was a pleasantly surprised to learn from the provider's point of view about various topics. It's very helpful for a newbie who is in the learning stages and first time jitters/concerns. But also learning a little bit of what kinds of crap they have to contend with and how to be a better customer.

On 3/21/2025 at 7:26 AM, DrownedBoy said:

Believe me - many "bisexual" escorts (and practically all the G4P ones) came into the business thinking they'd work with women, only to be hit hard by supply and demand. They'd muuuuch rather be meeting with women.

Remember that if you decide to hire. You have an advantage.

Thank you @DrownedBoy, your comment confirms a lot of the rumors I'd read about : that a LOT of providers are G4P but advertise for a male audience since that's primarily where the client base comes from. Everyone's gotta pay the rent.

[Simon Suraci]

1 hour ago, Alabastrine said:

it's the reality of internet forums

^Ain’t that the truth?

Thanks for sharing your interests!

When I was advertising on mainstream platforms I saw more women. I don’t think I’ve ever shared this in the forum before, but I consider myself Straight-For-Pay! It’s true. Cis women are a vanishingly small minority of my clients, and of them usually they are part of a M-F couple. However, I service them too, both for therapeutic and erotic services. I just target my advertising toward men because that’s my strength.

I know some good bisexual masseurs and sex workers who actually are bi and not just using it as marketing. They are professional and great at what they do for all genders. Take heart, there is something for everyone. You don’t have to sift through the chaff of straight male yahoos offering services to women with no skill or professionalism. Or worse using it as a ploy to take advantage of women. Nobody has time for that. Glad you are leveraging this resource to get straight to the wheat.

1. Great. You will find lots of good recommendations here. The major pitfall on this site is that a large majority of clients here prioritize masseur LOOKS way far and above over actual skill. Sorry guys, it’s the truth. I’ve been here long enough to see this plainly for what it is. Everyone thinks they are the exception, but they aren’t. They hire based on looks too, even unconsciously.

Some mediocre masseurs get away with murder because they look so hot. And likewise some average or conventionally less attractive men with excellent skills are regularly passed over, or not even discussed here at all. So many threads start and end with how old a guy is or how recent his photos are, or does he have facial hair, or has he gained 20 lbs…blah blah blah. Looks are fun to discuss, but completely secondary to having a great overall massage experience.

Look for the few gold nuggets in the threads (among all the looks-focused drivel) discussing actual technique, skill level, style, and professionalism. How did he make the client feel? Was his space welcoming, secure, clean? Was he on time? Does he use appropriate equipment? Did he address the client’s needs? Etc.

2. Have at it. This site is great for figuring out the “extras” department. Who here doesn’t love reading or sharing about it? You may find that more than one provider will work best for your different needs, but I argue you can get all in one when you carefully select the RIGHT provider for you. Depends on where you live or travel to, and budget, but good research and trying a few men on your shortlist pays off. You might just find him.

3. Male presenting providers advertise as whatever they think brings them more business. Sometimes it’s purely strategic to label oneself as gay/straight/bi. This is really up to you and your preferences, but the label on the box is just a label, not an indication of absolute truth. Plus human sexuality is a spectrum. It’s messier and more nuanced than checking a box. I would personally be more interested in what the provider can do for you, how he makes you feel, and his professionalism - none of which has anything to do with who or what he fantasizes about in his own head or who he sleeps with off the clock in his own bed. What matters is can he perform the services you want in the way you want. His personal life and identity are not that relevant. 

[+ Jamie21]

It’s a very different dynamic indeed massaging a female client to massaging a male client. The female arousal cycle is slower, goes in plateaus and is more intense when it finally reaches a climax. There needs to be more than just physical stimulation. Very different indeed to a guy. More complicated. 

[Nightowl]

50 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

^Ain’t that the truth?

Thanks for sharing your interests!

When I was advertising on mainstream platforms I saw more women. I don’t think I’ve ever shared this in the forum before, but I consider myself Straight-For-Pay! It’s true. Cis women are a vanishingly small minority of my clients, and of them usually they are part of a M-F couple. However, I service them too, both for therapeutic and erotic services. I just target my advertising toward men because that’s my strength.

I know some good bisexual masseurs and sex workers who actually are bi and not just using it as marketing. They are professional and great at what they do for all genders. Take heart, there is something for everyone. You don’t have to sift through the chaff of straight male yahoos offering services to women with no skill or professionalism. Or worse using it as a ploy to take advantage of women. Nobody has time for that. Glad you are leveraging this resource to get straight to the wheat.

1. Great. You will find lots of good recommendations here. The major pitfall on this site is that a large majority of clients here prioritize masseur LOOKS way far and above over actual skill. Sorry guys, it’s the truth. I’ve been here long enough to see this plainly for what it is. Everyone thinks they are the exception, but they aren’t. They hire based on looks too, even unconsciously.

Some mediocre masseurs get away with murder because they look so hot. And likewise some average or conventionally less attractive men with excellent skills are regularly passed over, or not even discussed here at all. So many threads start and end with how old a guy is or how recent his photos are, or does he have facial hair, or has he gained 20 lbs…blah blah blah. Looks are fun to discuss, but completely secondary to having a great overall massage experience.

Look for the few gold nuggets in the threads (among all the looks-focused drivel) discussing actual technique, skill level, style, and professionalism. How did he make the client feel? Was his space welcoming, secure, clean? Was he on time? Does he use appropriate equipment? Did he address the client’s needs? Etc.

2. Have at it. This site is great for figuring out the “extras” department. Who here doesn’t love reading or sharing about it? You may find that more than one provider will work best for your different needs, but I argue you can get all in one when you carefully select the RIGHT provider for you. Depends on where you live or travel to, and budget, but good research and trying a few men on your shortlist pays off. You might just find him.

3. Male presenting providers advertise as whatever they think brings them more business. Sometimes it’s purely strategic to label oneself as gay/straight/bi. This is really up to you and your preferences, but the label on the box is just a label, not an indication of absolute truth. Plus human sexuality is a spectrum. It’s messier and more nuanced than checking a box. I would personally be more interested in what the provider can do for you, how he makes you feel, and his professionalism - none of which has anything to do with who or what he fantasizes about in his own head or who he sleeps with off the clock in his own bed. What matters is can he perform the services you want in the way you want. His personal life and identity are not that relevant. 

I’m glad to see you highlight the focus on hotness vice skill.  Give me a masseur who is skilled over an amateur Adonis any day.  The focus on client hotness is equally problematic. A hot client may not be appreciative and could be a dead fish on the massage table.

[moonlight]

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I don’t think I’ve ever shared this in the forum before, but I consider myself Straight-For-Pay!

 

Just kidding. Leave it to Simon to be the consummate professional.

[+ Alabastrine]

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

^Ain’t that the truth?

Thanks for sharing your interests!

When I was advertising on mainstream platforms I saw more women. I don’t think I’ve ever shared this in the forum before, but I consider myself Straight-For-Pay! It’s true. Cis women are a vanishingly small minority of my clients, and of them usually they are part of a M-F couple. However, I service them too, both for therapeutic and erotic services. I just target my advertising toward men because that’s my strength.

<snip>Take heart, there is something for everyone. You don’t have to sift through the chaff of straight male yahoos offering services to women with no skill or professionalism. Or worse using it as a ploy to take advantage of women. Nobody has time for that. Glad you are leveraging this resource to get straight to the wheat.

1. Great. You will find lots of good recommendations here. The major pitfall on this site is that a large majority of clients here prioritize masseur LOOKS way far and above over actual skill. <snip>

Some mediocre masseurs get away with murder because they look so hot. And likewise some average or conventionally less attractive men with excellent skills are regularly passed over, or not even discussed here at all. So many threads start and end with how old a guy is or how recent his photos are, or does he have facial hair, or has he gained 20 lbs…blah blah blah. Looks are fun to discuss, but completely secondary to having a great overall massage experience.

Look for the few gold nuggets in the threads (among all the looks-focused drivel) discussing actual technique, skill level, style, and professionalism. How did he make the client feel? Was his space welcoming, secure, clean? Was he on time? Does he use appropriate equipment? Did he address the client’s needs? Etc.

<snip>

3. Male presenting providers advertise as whatever they think brings them more business. Sometimes it’s purely strategic to label oneself as gay/straight/bi. <snip>

This is great insight on what things are like on the provider side, thanks so much for all the detail. I deeply appreciate the guidance on how to navigate the reviews and what kind of information to zero-in on. I didn't realize how fuzzy the "label" for orientation can be. I see what you mean on the looks vs. skill, there's tradeoffs, but good to know there's choices and "Straight For Pay" options❤️‍🔥. This is the first I've seen "SFP" mentioned. I'm probably focusing on skill as a masseur for the time being, looking for more "healing hands" massage experience in the short term, but also looking at "baby steps" towards extras as I grow more comfortable.

As for the "straight male yahoos offering services to women with no skill or professionalism. Or worse using it as a ploy to take advantage of women", yes. That is absolutely what I'm hoping to avoid. There is a safety/security aspect to this, which makes me very cautious with who I meet and when. I'm usually very reluctant to meet with strangers so it's a little unnerving knowing there are some predators out there. So I'm trying to take whatever precautions I can.

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

It’s a very different dynamic indeed massaging a female client to massaging a male client. The female arousal cycle is slower, goes in plateaus and is more intense when it finally reaches a climax. There needs to be more than just physical stimulation. Very different indeed to a guy. More complicated. 

Can confirm! I wish I could climax as easily as a man, color me envious.🔥

[ShortCutie7]

I feel like I have written this several times over the last couple weeks, but as a purely gay man, I have found my best experiences to be with providers who selected “bisexual” as their orientation- they have been generally more engaged and better at maintaining the illusion of mutual attraction.

[+ PhileasFogg]

9 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

It’s a very different dynamic indeed massaging a female client to massaging a male client. The female arousal cycle is slower, goes in plateaus and is more intense when it finally reaches a climax. There needs to be more than just physical stimulation. Very different indeed to a guy. More complicated. 

For a minute, I thought you were talking about shifting  the gears on my ‘62 corvette!  There’s a sweet spot and you have to hit it just right at the right time to make her hum 🤣

Edited March 23 by PhileasFogg

[+ Just Chuck]

On 3/22/2025 at 4:14 PM, Alabastrine said:

Good question @Just Chuck, I was a pleasantly surprised to learn from the provider's point of view about various topics. It's very helpful for a newbie who is in the learning stages and first time jitters/concerns. But also learning a little bit of what kinds of crap they have to contend with and how to be a better customer.

After reflecting on your answer, that's one of the main things that I learned and like about this forum too.