Am I the Only Late Bloomer?

[Cure69]

Hello, Everyone.

I wasn't able to find a similar subject but I thought I'd start one here.

In short: I'm in my 40s, married, living a straight and religious life, and I'm just now exploring my sexuality, or rather, embracing what I've always felt for as far back as I can remember. I know what I've always felt, I know what I've always desired, and tomorrow will be one week since I bottomed my first (and yes, the experience confirmed every bit of what I've been feeling for so long). After my first experience I immediately took to the internet and found this Forum, wow. It's been great.

Is there anyone else out there like me?

Quite a number of members here in this Forum have already been incredibly helpful to me (more than they realize, maybe) but I was thinking, am I the only late bloomer here? Many of the forums I read here provide tales of members' first time, or first experience, during their teenage years or during their twenties.

I feel like I've missed out on a huge portion of my life; I know I'm able to move forward and prepare for whatever comes, but it's just a feeling I have of "time wasted" and not being able to vent or speak about what I'm feeling inside to anyone in my life, absolutely no one. So, I'd love to keep this discussion going so

At any rate, if there is anyone else out there who finds themselves in a similar situation or any sage men who'd like to share their personal experiences of how they've been able to embrace and move forward, I'm all ears.

(I understand this is simply an outlet for general discussion and I am fully aware this isn't a replacement for "licensed professional mental health", but it is incredibly helpful to talk to others, and engage like-minded men — at least for me [and I'm sure for others] it is).

[mike carey]

@Cure69'Late bloomer' here, but I didn't go down the 'path expected' I just didn't go anywhere. Busy professional life enabled me to ignore that part of my make-up. It wasn't that I denied it, I just didn't see what is now obvious. I brushed it off when others asked me when I would marry and didn't ask myself that question, at least not seriously. I eventually did, and answered it to myself quickly, but kept it to myself without acting on it for a while longer. I'm now in my 60s.

Did I miss out on things, as you feel you did? Hell yes, but I take the view that it is what it is and I'm not trying to catch up with what I may have missed. I have missed those things, now it's a matter of making the best of the rest of my life. Regretting the past is for me a waste of energy. I realise it's far more complex for you, you have 20 or so years of an adult life that is at odds with how you see yourself now, and have to work out how, or even if to disentangle the two. For me, my earlier life is not at odds with the current version, I've just added a new strand to my identity. I didn't put an ad in the paper, but I was quickly found by a couple of [then] current and past work colleagues when I joined an online forum. I'm still in the mode of not advertising my sexuality, but not trying to hide it. My sister is gay, so that was one conversation I eventually had that wasn't too difficult.

I haven't been very good at finding social or romantic contacts (if I'd been good at that I may have found an opposite sex one because 'straight' is the default and assumed identity in this society even when you don't consciously adopt it). I did join a gay camping group and had good interactions with others there, but nothing beyond its outings. I came to this community because I had hired once or twice and saw hiring companions as being a great way to overcome my nervousness and inexperience in sexual matters, and the forum has helped me overcome my nervousness with the hiring process. I have also found it to be a great place for all sorts of discussions on those and other issues.

I hope that others will contribute to the discussion.

[CuriousByNature]

1 hour ago, Cure69 said:

Hello, Everyone.

I wasn't able to find a similar subject but I thought I'd start one here.

In short: I'm in my 40s, married, living a straight and religious life, and I'm just now exploring my sexuality, or rather, embracing what I've always felt for as far back as I can remember. I know what I've always felt, I know what I've always desired, and tomorrow will be one week since I bottomed my first (and yes, the experience confirmed every bit of what I've been feeling for so long). After my first experience I immediately took to the internet and found this Forum, wow. It's been great.

Is there anyone else out there like me?

Quite a number of members here in this Forum have already been incredibly helpful to me (more than they realize, maybe) but I was thinking, am I the only late bloomer here? Many of the forums I read here provide tales of members' first time, or first experience, during their teenage years or during their twenties.

I feel like I've missed out on a huge portion of my life; I know I'm able to move forward and prepare for whatever comes, but it's just a feeling I have of "time wasted" and not being able to vent or speak about what I'm feeling inside to anyone in my life, absolutely no one. So, I'd love to keep this discussion going so

At any rate, if there is anyone else out there who finds themselves in a similar situation or any sage men who'd like to share their personal experiences of how they've been able to embrace and move forward, I'm all ears.

(I understand this is simply an outlet for general discussion and I am fully aware this isn't a replacement for "licensed professional mental health", but it is incredibly helpful to talk to others, and engage like-minded men — at least for me [and I'm sure for others] it is).

Hope you are doing well.  First, you are definitely not the only late bloomer here.  You are way further ahead than I am, and I am in my late 40s.  There aren't even any buds on this plant, never mind blooms! LOL.  Try not to overthink too much about time.  There is no way to regain the time that has passed, so it is important to accept it.  And also honour all that you have gained during the past 40 years - such as family and friends who you may not have met had things proceeded differently.  Hopefully you will have many, many decades ahead of you to live your truth, and I also hope that your spouse and any children you might have will come to accept you, and that the love you all share might somehow be strengthened in the long run.

[Epigonos]

Hey Cure69 I've known I was gay since I was a teenager, I'm now 80.  For a whole host of reasons I didn't act upon that knowledge until I was 61 1/2.  Do I regret that I waited so long -- not really -- life is what it is.  As far as I'm concerned regret is a total waste of time  - it doesn't change anything so why bother.  Since I hired my first escort at 61 1/2 I've never stopped and looked back.  I got together with two guys for a three-way last week and am getting together with my regular go to guy next week.  I'm enjoying life and having a ball, right now, and for me, at least, that's all that counts.  ENJOY!!!

[Cure69]

1 hour ago, mike carey said:

@Cure69'Late bloomer' here, but I didn't go down the 'path expected' I just didn't go anywhere. Busy professional life enabled me to ignore that part of my make-up. It wasn't that I denied it, I just didn't see what is now obvious. I brushed it off when others asked me when I would marry and didn't ask myself that question, at least not seriously. I eventually did, and answered it to myself quickly, but kept it to myself without acting on it for a while longer. I'm now in my 60s.

Did I miss out on things, as you feel you did? Hell yes, but I take the view that it is what it is and I'm not trying to catch up with what I may have missed. I have missed those things, now it's a matter of making the best of the rest of my life. Regretting the past is for me a waste of energy. I realise it's far more complex for you, you have 20 or so years of an adult life that is at odds with how you see yourself now, and have to work out how, or even if to disentangle the two. For me, my earlier life is not at odds with the current version, I've just added a new strand to my identity. I didn't put an ad in the paper, but I was quickly found by a couple of [then] current and past work colleagues when I joined an online forum. I'm still in the mode of not advertising my sexuality, but not trying to hide it. My sister is gay, so that was one conversation I eventually had that wasn't too difficult.

I haven't been very good at finding social or romantic contacts (if I'd been good at that I may have found an opposite sex one because 'straight' is the default and assumed identity in this society even when you don't consciously adopt it). I did join a gay camping group and had good interactions with others there, but nothing beyond its outings. I came to this community because I had hired once or twice and saw hiring companions as being a great way to overcome my nervousness and inexperience in sexual matters, and the forum has helped me overcome my nervousness with the hiring process. I have also found it to be a great place for all sorts of discussions on those and other issues.

I hope that others will contribute to the discussion.

I read your response three times over, thank you so much for your input and wisdom. 🙏🏼

1 hour ago, CuriousByNature said:

Hope you are doing well.  First, you are definitely not the only late bloomer here.  You are way further ahead than I am, and I am in my late 40s.  There aren't even any buds on this plant, never mind blooms! LOL.  Try not to overthink too much about time.  There is no way to regain the time that has passed, so it is important to accept it.  And also honour all that you have gained during the past 40 years - such as family and friends who you may not have met had things proceeded differently.  Hopefully you will have many, many decades ahead of you to live your truth, and I also hope that your spouse and any children you might have will come to accept you, and that the love you all share might somehow be strengthened in the long run.

Thank you! Definitely relatable and I appreciate your message 😌

[Cure69]

44 minutes ago, Epigonos said:

Hey Cure69 I've known I was gay since I was a teenager, I'm now 80.  For a whole host of reasons I didn't act upon that knowledge until I was 61 1/2.  Do I regret that I waited so long -- not really -- life is what it is.  As far as I'm concerned regret is a total waste of time  - it doesn't change anything so why bother.  Since I hired my first escort at 61 1/2 I've never stopped and looked back.  I got together with two guys for a three-way last week and am getting together with my regular go to guy next week.  I'm enjoying life and having a ball, right now, and for me, at least, that's all that counts.  ENJOY!!!

Wow, this message was most certainly inspiring. I'm learning a common theme: don't worry about the past but focus on moving ahead. And based on your experience, I can certainly see that is totally within my reach ... Thanks a million.

[kingsley88]

You are not alone as what others have posted above. I also agree to not regret the past and instead to look to the future and move on. 

I came out when I was 18 but still never really felt the pleasure of bottoming as my other friends have described to me. To me it always hurt regardless of what my exes did so kudos to you for getting an awesome first bttm experience! For now am happy with just bj and topping but someday I hope to be able to bottom with pleasure!

[jeezifonly]

Late bloomers often save the world by directing their “prime” energy into pursuits outside of themselves. If everyone “bloomed” at the same age there would be scores of human achievements that were lost to thinking with the wrong head. 
 

That may or may not be how you reflect on your past, but if a life-long instinct is validated, it throws new vistas into the horizon of your future. Now as to your present, you refer to marriage and religion as very important to you in how you’re living today. Some acceptance of cognitive dissonance may be required, and techniques to do that are on display everywhere these days. It’s also possible to be hetero-mantic and homo-physical at the same time.

I think hiring is a good way to explore the physical. NSA is the default setting for expectations, which means you can explore and discover gay sex without immediately having to have emotional commitments outside your marriage. It’s also a conscious choice to be a student instructed by an experienced teacher. Some attachments may develop, however, and at some point you will have to reconcile this new part of your psyche with the older parts that have valued the simplicity and security of falling in line with community, church and marriage. If still sexually active with your wife be CAREFUL about protecting yourself (and her) from disease. PREP is great, even though it does nothing to resist STI’s other than HIV. 
“If I’d only known” is the verse to every chorus of The Blues. 
Just try to love yourself where you are now, and be kind to those around you who might be impacted by your new realizations. You will be fine 

[+ Charlie]

The member whom I described to you in another thread actually used the handle "latlrnr" on this site. When I asked him what it meant, he said to pronounce it "late learner." We had many discussions about his past, and his description of his life was probably familiar to a lot of older gay men: born in a small town in a straight world, when the "gay world" was a fairly secretive closed urban society; raised in a loving "normal" family; followed the expected path for a respectable American male, meaning college, settlement in his hometown, a professional career, marriage to a woman he loved but wasn't really sexually attracted to, and children. His children were grown and he had already taken early retirement before the world had changed enough that everyone knew what "gay" meant, and he could log on to a site like this and communicate with other men like himself. If he were still here, I am sure that he would be eager to discuss his experience with you, but unfortunately he died suddenly only a few years into his new life as an openly gay man.

But your experience is different from his, because at 40, you have grown up in a very different world. AIDS came along when you were a young child, so you were surrounded by a world in which everyone knew what "gay" meant, and everyone was exposed through the media to a "gay world" in which they could explore their sexual desires without fear of being arrested for admitting that they were even attracted to other men, much less that they engaged in same sex activity. Even so, I am sure there are many men your age who have followed the same path as my friend, despite the new opportunity to be openly gay or bi, because although we have attained a lot of "gay rights" in the past 40 years, that doesn't mean that every young man feels that they apply to himself, or that he is comfortable exercising them. You have traveled far enough down the old traditional path that you have commitments--like a wife and child, friends and social obligations, and perhaps a career--that still complicate an exit to a different path. I hope there are other men here with similar experience who will connect with you, but I'll play "Dear Abby" and suggest that you also consider professional counseling if your situation allows.

[+ AntonGraza]

Hey Cure69: 

I am in the same situation, with a few years on you - 57 and have not taken the plunge, but I have my providers for my first time to bottom selected, when it is time.  So far I have been exploring with masseur's and becoming "comfortable" exploring this aspect of my life.

I would second Charlie's suggestion and consider professional counseling if your situation allows.   Two years ago, I was miserable, depressed and fighting the dark blackness that can over-whelm a person.  I was actively making plans for my suicide to look like an accident so my family could get my insurance money.   Emotionally I could not put my wife and kids through that pain due to my selfishness and knew something major had to be done, and went to therapy.   I don't want to see anyone else have to go through that and I should have gotten help much earlier in my life.

I have been in therapy for about 2 years now and  it has really helped to identify what I needed to do.   I have made changes and it has not been easy mentally, but worth every penny I have spent.  My therapist and I know the best option for me is to end the marriage and start over, but that is another issue for another time.

One of the best things I have done in my life is being a dad and raising my children with my wife to be wonderful, loving people.   If I decided in my 20's to come out, not to get married and have kids, I would not have had this experience.  So, don't look at what could have been and what was lost, work with what you have now and take it one step at a time.   Your 40's, at least in my life, was one of the most stressful and confusing, so be kind to yourself.

Feel free to PM me, I don't have all the answers and everyone's situation is different, but I can be a sympathetic ear.

Take care.   Anton

[+ keroscenefire]

I think a lot of our later bloomers anyway. I was pretty much exclusively heterosexual until my fiancée died in an accident when I was 30. That tragedy let me to reevaluate a lot of things in my life and realizing that actually that homosexual play I had when I was in teenager was something I wanted to do more of. I had another girlfriend but it didn't work out and I have been with men ever sense. 

Definitely hiring has allowed me to explore even more aspects of my sexuality. Looking forward to doing a lot more of it soon.

[jjkrkwood]

 

I bloomed early, but it really didnt help me because I was a stupid youngin......   Its not how much time you HAVE, its what you do with the time once you HAVE it !  

Live and enjoy your life.👍

[Cure69]

On 7/19/2021 at 7:12 AM, jjkrkwood said:

 

I bloomed early, but it really didnt help me because I was a stupid youngin......   Its not how much time you HAVE, its what you do with the time once you HAVE it !  

Live and enjoy your life.👍

Young, dumb and full of cum ... I get it. (Ugh!) Thank you for the encouragement, I'm trying to move as speedily and as safely forward as I can these days 🤔

[Cure69]

On 7/19/2021 at 12:31 AM, keroscenefire said:

I think a lot of our later bloomers anyway. I was pretty much exclusively heterosexual until my fiancée died in an accident when I was 30. That tragedy let me to reevaluate a lot of things in my life and realizing that actually that homosexual play I had when I was in teenager was something I wanted to do more of. I had another girlfriend but it didn't work out and I have been with men ever sense. 

Definitely hiring has allowed me to explore even more aspects of my sexuality. Looking forward to doing a lot more of it soon.

Hi @keroscenefire,

I'm really sorry to hear about your ex-fiancée and thank you so much for trusting in us all to share that information. I sincerely appreciate your opening up like that to us. I'm glad to hear you've made it through and have been able to express yourself throughout your time (or years) thereafter. I've been married for 15 years now and find myself reevaluate myself, too. Sex with my wife is minimal to none, I'm finding it very difficult to express my intimacy toward her (especially after my first bottom experience, it's been even more difficult for me, all I can think of is hiring someone as soon as possible so that I can bottom yet again).

Again, thank you for opening up and thank you for allowing myself and I'm sure a number of others to express themselves.

Yours,

David 

[Cure69]

On 7/18/2021 at 11:13 PM, AntonGraza said:

Hey Cure69: 

I am in the same situation, with a few years on you - 57 and have not taken the plunge, but I have my providers for my first time to bottom selected, when it is time.  So far I have been exploring with masseur's and becoming "comfortable" exploring this aspect of my life.

I would second Charlie's suggestion and consider professional counseling if your situation allows.   Two years ago, I was miserable, depressed and fighting the dark blackness that can over-whelm a person.  I was actively making plans for my suicide to look like an accident so my family could get my insurance money.   Emotionally I could not put my wife and kids through that pain due to my selfishness and knew something major had to be done, and went to therapy.   I don't want to see anyone else have to go through that and I should have gotten help much earlier in my life.

I have been in therapy for about 2 years now and  it has really helped to identify what I needed to do.   I have made changes and it has not been easy mentally, but worth every penny I have spent.  My therapist and I know the best option for me is to end the marriage and start over, but that is another issue for another time.

One of the best things I have done in my life is being a dad and raising my children with my wife to be wonderful, loving people.   If I decided in my 20's to come out, not to get married and have kids, I would not have had this experience.  So, don't look at what could have been and what was lost, work with what you have now and take it one step at a time.   Your 40's, at least in my life, was one of the most stressful and confusing, so be kind to yourself.

Feel free to PM me, I don't have all the answers and everyone's situation is different, but I can be a sympathetic ear.

Take care.   Anton

Hi @AntonGraza,

I feel like we share parallel lives. Thank you for writing!

Yes, I'm so indebted to the advice from @Charlie (I'm incredibly appreciative for his comments, wow.) I have considered professional counseling but I will need to see how I continue to develop on my feelings. Lately, I've been feeling more confusion than depression but I'm taking it in strides.

I'm also very glad to see your comment here! Why? Because it means you've overcome the dire challenge mentioned in your commentary above. I can personally say I am happy to see your message. Like you, I'm a dad of a beautiful daughter and she has always been the one person (unknown to her) that has helped me to keep my relative sanity.

Again, thank you so much for sharing. This forum is indeed a treasure trove of information and experiences.

Yours truly,

David 

[Cure69]

On 7/18/2021 at 7:46 PM, Charlie said:

The member whom I described to you in another thread actually used the handle "latlrnr" on this site. When I asked him what it meant, he said to pronounce it "late learner." We had many discussions about his past, and his description of his life was probably familiar to a lot of older gay men: born in a small town in a straight world, when the "gay world" was a fairly secretive closed urban society; raised in a loving "normal" family; followed the expected path for a respectable American male, meaning college, settlement in his hometown, a professional career, marriage to a woman he loved but wasn't really sexually attracted to, and children. His children were grown and he had already taken early retirement before the world had changed enough that everyone knew what "gay" meant, and he could log on to a site like this and communicate with other men like himself. If he were still here, I am sure that he would be eager to discuss his experience with you, but unfortunately he died suddenly only a few years into his new life as an openly gay man.

But your experience is different from his, because at 40, you have grown up in a very different world. AIDS came along when you were a young child, so you were surrounded by a world in which everyone knew what "gay" meant, and everyone was exposed through the media to a "gay world" in which they could explore their sexual desires without fear of being arrested for admitting that they were even attracted to other men, much less that they engaged in same sex activity. Even so, I am sure there are many men your age who have followed the same path as my friend, despite the new opportunity to be openly gay or bi, because although we have attained a lot of "gay rights" in the past 40 years, that doesn't mean that every young man feels that they apply to himself, or that he is comfortable exercising them. You have traveled far enough down the old traditional path that you have commitments--like a wife and child, friends and social obligations, and perhaps a career--that still complicate an exit to a different path. I hope there are other men here with similar experience who will connect with you, but I'll play "Dear Abby" and suggest that you also consider professional counseling if your situation allows.

Hello, @Charlie.

I have one word for you: "Wow".

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom, you entirely made me feel like creating this Forum was not a waste of time (I though if I should or shouldn't create this post for hours on end). But thank you so much. I live in the NYC area and I cannot imagine your struggle but it seems you've been able to handle it like any other wonderful person would be able to.

You are among those profiles I believe I'd be keeping closely.

Thank you so much 😌

Yours,

David

[Guest]

4 hours ago, Cure69 said:

Young, dumb and full of cum ... I get it. (Ugh!) Thank you for the encouragement, I'm trying to move as speedily and as safely forward as I can these days 🤔

I'm not a late-bloomer myself (I had a fake ID since my first year of college, and used to bring men to my college dorm room 🙄), but I love hearing the stories. You said you enjoy bottoming, so you may want to consider Truvada/PrEP if you're moving forward speedily. Are you willing to share whether you have children or not? Have you given divorce any consideration?

[+ keroscenefire]

8 hours ago, Cure69 said:

Hi @keroscenefire,

I'm really sorry to hear about your ex-fiancée and thank you so much for trusting in us all to share that information. I sincerely appreciate your opening up like that to us. I'm glad to hear you've made it through and have been able to express yourself throughout your time (or years) thereafter. I've been married for 15 years now and find myself reevaluate myself, too. Sex with my wife is minimal to none, I'm finding it very difficult to express my intimacy toward her (especially after my first bottom experience, it's been even more difficult for me, all I can think of is hiring someone as soon as possible so that I can bottom yet again).

Again, thank you for opening up and thank you for allowing myself and I'm sure a number of others to express themselves.

Yours,

David 

Thanks for sharing your story as well David. Sometimes just expressing it helps you process it...allows you to make the next steps you need. We all support you with whatever choices you make next. 

[Cure69]

17 hours ago, Unicorn said:

I'm not a late-bloomer myself (I had a fake ID since my first year of college, and used to bring men to my college dorm room 🙄), but I love hearing the stories. You said you enjoy bottoming, so you may want to consider Truvada/PrEP if you're moving forward speedily. Are you willing to share whether you have children or not? Have you given divorce any consideration?

Hi there!

Yes, I've only bottomed once (had the desire for many years) but from that one experience (which is now 9 days since), it confirmed to me that it is what I actually enjoy.

As for Truvada/PrEP, is this something I should consider if I plan on having unprotected sex? I really don't mind asking the other person to put on a condom. (I've only actually given 3 blowjobs with the same person and I did so with a condom on their cock. I know that's a buzz kill but better be safe than sorry, right?)

Real question: do you think it's still a good idea to be on Truvada/PrEP even if I plan on making the use of a condom a regular thing? (I just don't know how I can pull off taking those meds without my wife knowing)

As for children, I have 1 child, I love her to death. I also don't see myself getting divorced, I do care and love my wife, I simply don't have any urge for "straight" sex anymore. I get flaccid quickly if we try but I'm easily excited when I'm next to a man I find attractive or watching gay porn.

Sigh. 😞

[Cure69]

12 hours ago, keroscenefire said:

Thanks for sharing your story as well David. Sometimes just expressing it helps you process it...allows you to make the next steps you need. We all support you with whatever choices you make next. 

Thank you,

Yes, this Forum has been the best thing for me in so many years. I believe I plan on sticking around for a long while.

[+ Charlie]

2 hours ago, Cure69 said:

Hi there!

Yes, I've only bottomed once (had the desire for many years) but from that one experience (which is now 9 days since), it confirmed to me that it is what I actually enjoy.

As for Truvada/PrEP, is this something I should consider if I plan on having unprotected sex? I really don't mind asking the other person to put on a condom. (I've only actually given 3 blowjobs with the same person and I did so with a condom on their cock. I know that's a buzz kill but better be safe than sorry, right?)

Real question: do you think it's still a good idea to be on Truvada/PrEP even if I plan on making the use of a condom a regular thing? (I just don't know how I can pull off taking those meds without my wife knowing)

As for children, I have 1 child, I love her to death. I also don't see myself getting divorced, I do care and love my wife, I simply don't have any urge for "straight" sex anymore. I get flaccid quickly if we try but I'm easily excited when I'm next to a man I find attractive or watching gay porn.

Sigh. 😞

It sounds like it might not be too long before your wife starts asking questions, and you will have to face the fact that you can not be a completely autonomous decision maker. My friend latlrnr didn't see himself getting divorced either, but his wife did, when she found out what really excited him. They remained close friends till the end of his life, but she wanted to move forward with her life, too, and it didn't include passively sitting on the sidelines while her husband satisfied his own sexual desires. A few years after they separated, he admitted to me that he missed his old married life, despite the lack of sexual fulfillment, much more than he thought he would.  That is one of the reasons why I suggested professional counseling might be useful now rather than later.

[Cure69]

1 minute ago, Charlie said:

It sounds like it might not be too long before your wife starts asking questions, and you will have to face the fact that you can not be a completely autonomous decision maker. My friend latlrnr didn't see himself getting divorced either, but his wife did, when she found out what really excited him. They remained close friends till the end of his life, but she wanted to move forward with her life, too, and it didn't include passively sitting on the sidelines while her husband satisfied his own sexual desires. A few years after they separated, he admitted to me that he missed his old married life, despite the lack of sexual fulfillment, much more than he thought he would.  That is one of the reasons why I suggested professional counseling might be useful now rather than later.

I'm humbled. This is incredibly sound advice. 

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Cure69 said:

Hi there!

Yes, I've only bottomed once (had the desire for many years) but from that one experience (which is now 9 days since), it confirmed to me that it is what I actually enjoy.

As for Truvada/PrEP, is this something I should consider if I plan on having unprotected sex? I really don't mind asking the other person to put on a condom. (I've only actually given 3 blowjobs with the same person and I did so with a condom on their cock. I know that's a buzz kill but better be safe than sorry, right?)

...

It depends on how frequently you bottom. Obviously, a condom regardless, but Truvada is more effective than condoms alone. I'm not sure if calculations have been made, but I'd toss it out that if you bottom more than 6 times per year with men you can't be confident about their status (Long-term relationship), then the risks of Truvada are worth the benefits. There is a small, but not insignificant risk of kidney injury on Truvada and other PrEP. 

[Cure69]

22 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

It depends on how frequently you bottom. Obviously, a condom regardless, but Truvada is more effective than condoms alone. I'm not sure if calculations have been made, but I'd toss it out that if you bottom more than 6 times per year with men you can't be confident about their status (Long-term relationship), then the risks of Truvada are worth the benefits. There is a small, but not insignificant risk of kidney injury on Truvada and other PrEP. 

Thanks, I'm going to make some more inquiry about this. Definitely will speak to my doctor.

[CuriousByNature]

2 hours ago, Cure69 said:

Thanks, I'm going to make some more inquiry about this. Definitely will speak to my doctor.

I understand that patients are monitored while on PreP to catch any signs of impact on the kidneys/liver.