Could you do the job?

[+ Jamie21]

First time I got paid for sex was when a guy asked me in a chat room how much I charged. I’d sent him some pics and clearly he assumed I was for hire (maybe I encouraged that 😂). I asked what he wanted, which seemed easy for me, and then gave him a rate. He agreed, sent me his street and house number and asked me to text him when I was near and definitely not to knock on the door but to stand on the street corner and wait, which seemed strange but I didn’t question it.

So I dressed as provocatively as possible without turning up in just a jock, and arrived outside his place, sending him a text to let him know. I guess he was watching as I stood there, to make sure I looked ok. I must have looked suitably attractive because he then texts me to knock at a different door number. Obviously if I was not to his liking I’d never have found out his real door number…might still be standing there now!

Once inside he invites me up to the bedroom, telling me his wife is out and she won’t be back for a few hours. In my naivety that surprised me…id expected him to be single (I was so inexperienced!).

He was kind of indistinguishable from any guy you’d pass in the street without noticing them, around 60 and had the air of someone who’d hired before. He told me to undress, and left me in the bedroom while he went off to do something. So I stripped off and lay on the bed, imagining him and his wife sleeping there later, and as I lay there waiting I realised I’d forgotten to bring condoms or lube…

He knew I was inexperienced (despite my attempts to come across otherwise) so he took charge which was fortunate. I had no problem with not being attracted to him, it was the situation that was a turn on for me. Probably the risk, the situation and of course his interest in me. 

After the session he gave me the money, and ushered me out quickly (I think his wife was due back). Counting the money as I walked back to my car I felt elated. There I learned I had the ability to do the work. 

 

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Most gay men don't have the enduring social skill or sexual compunction to be great escorts.

[MikeThomas]

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

First time I got paid for sex was when a guy asked me in a chat room how much I charged. I’d sent him some pics and clearly he assumed I was for hire (maybe I encouraged that 😂). I asked what he wanted, which seemed easy for me, and then gave him a rate. He agreed, sent me his street and house number and asked me to text him when I was near and definitely not to knock on the door but to stand on the street corner and wait, which seemed strange but I didn’t question it.

So I dressed as provocatively as possible without turning up in just a jock, and arrived outside his place, sending him a text to let him know. I guess he was watching as I stood there, to make sure I looked ok. I must have looked suitably attractive because he then texts me to knock at a different door number. Obviously if I was not to his liking I’d never have found out his real door number…might still be standing there now!

Once inside he invites me up to the bedroom, telling me his wife is out and she won’t be back for a few hours. In my naivety that surprised me…id expected him to be single (I was so inexperienced!).

He was kind of indistinguishable from any guy you’d pass in the street without noticing them, around 60 and had the air of someone who’d hired before. He told me to undress, and left me in the bedroom while he went off to do something. So I stripped off and lay on the bed, imagining him and his wife sleeping there later, and as I lay there waiting I realised I’d forgotten to bring condoms or lube…

He knew I was inexperienced (despite my attempts to come across otherwise) so he took charge which was fortunate. I had no problem with not being attracted to him, it was the situation that was a turn on for me. Probably the risk, the situation and of course his interest in me. 

After the session he gave me the money, and ushered me out quickly (I think his wife was due back). Counting the money as I walked back to my car I felt elated. There I learned I had the ability to do the work. 

 

 

I wonder if part of the thrill for him was that his wife could come home earlier than expected.

[Your Man in Arlington]

Not only could I, but I did when I was in graduate school. It was a different dynamic back then, small text-only ad in the local gay paper, a pager, and spending some free time at the corner of Homer & Davie. I was good, but not great, with a few regulars. I'm probably too introverted, but my experimental/wild side coupled with my natural enjoyment of giving pleasure balanced it out. That experience certainly now informs my approach and empathy being on the other side of the equation.

[+ Jamie21]

5 hours ago, MikeThomas said:

I wonder if part of the thrill for him was that his wife could come home earlier than expected.

Possibly, he seemed quite anxious about it though. 

[soloyo215]

22 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Which decade are we talking about?

Do you ever regret not having taken at least some offers? 

 

The 80s and 90s.

No. I also trust my rather good intuition. At the end I made it on my own by other means.

Edited March 12 by soloyo215

[maninsoma]

23 hours ago, Thelatin said:

A guy I know became a trophy husband.  After 30 years of not working.  He is now, separated with no money, no work history and very expensive tastes…

Even four decades ago, Liberace's lover was able to win a lot of money in a palimony suit.  Unless someone signed a prenuptial agreement, I don't see how a three-decades long "trophy husband" wouldn't be able to collect palimony following a divorce.

[+ sync]

On 3/11/2025 at 10:32 AM, Thelatin said:

A guy I know became a trophy husband.  After 30 years of not working.  He is now, separated with no money, no work history and very expensive tastes…

This is a very sad situation, but it is also a stunning lack of common sense.  How, after all those years, it never occurred to him to prepare for independent living is beyond me.

[+ Charlie]

17 hours ago, Charlie said:

True confession: when I was a 21 year old graduate school student with very little money, I discovered that rentboys hung around in Philadelphia City Hall courtyard. (The Internet, personal computers and smart phones hadn't been invented yet.) I decided to try my luck selling my wares there, too. I dressed in what I thought showed off my best qualities without being outrageously obvious, and went there to hang out. After twenty minutes of lounging on a bench and giving questioning looks to every male who glanced at me, an older man sat down next to me and started a conversation. After a few minutes, he asked how much I charged. It suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea what the going rates were, so I said what sounded like a reasonable rate to me, not too much and not too little: $30. He seemed to think that was OK, so he said he lived in West Philly, and he suggested we go to his place. When we got there, he told me to get undressed. I was surprised, because I thought that rentboys never did anything but get their cocks sucked, but I did as he said. Then he got undressed, too, and there was nothing about him that aroused me sexually. He grabbed me and kissed me, and then offered his ass to me, but I couldn't get hard, so he started to suck it. I closed my eyes, and my cock immediately came to life as I fantasized that I was somewhere else with someone else, and shot in his mouth, which surprised him. He was obviously disappointed, since I didn't lose any time getting dressed again. After a very perfunctory conversation, he shoved a couple of bills in my hand and showed me the door. When I was a little way down the street, I took the bills out of my pocket, and they were two tens. I didn't blame him.

That experience was what taught me that I was not suitable for the profession of sexual provider.

BTW, on RentMen there is a "map me" function where the advertiser can show exactly where he is located, but many providers don't activate it.  Therefore, on their ads the "map me" simply shows a default location in the city where they are advertising. In Philadelphia, the spot always circled on the map is City Hall courtyard, which I suppose is a bow to ancient gay history.

Edited March 12 by Charlie

[pubic_assistance]

When I was in my mid to late 20s I was living in NYC on a shoe-string budget. I was often invited out by older (40s to 50s) wealthy gentlemen. Many of whom I learned a lot about navigating NYC financially, through investing & social connections. They were all very pleasant, charming fellows and very kind to me. But I had absolutely ZERO physical attraction to any of them.

After a few drinks I would sometimes let one of them suck my cock and pump a load down their throat. But they had to remain clothed and never attempt any other sexual contact. I didn't want them pulling out their own cock or trying to kiss me . They needed to get-off later while jerking off and remembering their special moment with me unloading in their mouth.

There was an inherent turn-on inside the desperation of a wealthy gentleman to pleasure me, worship my body, and swallow my load, all while denying themselves any simultaneous pleasure.

If they had gotten naked or pulled out their dick I would have immediately lost the moment and immediately lost my erection. I admire providers who can find the headspace to overlook the blobs of fat, shriveled balls and general disgust of some customer's bodies.

I would have never been able to do it.

[+ sniper]

With a few exceptions I've generally had better luck with bi/straight-identifying providers. I think the good straight providers are able to just view it as an acting job, or something they are doing for their family to pay the bills, and aren't on some level expecting to enjoy it.  Admittedly there are straight guys who are total scammers but I seem to have picked up how to weed them out.

[+ sniper]

As for whether I could do it myself, I definitely don't think I could be the "take all comers" type, and while I was not unattractive in my youth I wasn't hot enough to be picky. Closest I came was some older guy telling me "you should be up there on stage" when I was standing in the aisle at the Gaiety, and I wondered if that was an inquiry. Then one time on gay.com I got a personal ad response from a NYC doctor couple looking for a houseboy, and they were definitely people I was attracted to, but I didn't see how I'd explain any of that to my family. Plus I had a decent job myself and didn't think the risk of them getting bored in 2-5 years and dumping me was worth the financial risk. If I were a waiter or something I'd probably have given it a go.

[+ ApexNomad]

14 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Most gay men don't have the enduring social skill or sexual compunction to be great escorts.

Or compassion and emotional intelligence.

[ICTJOCK]

Interesting conversation.   I could certainly "do it"  with someone who  was less than attractive provided he was clean and no drugs.

There are various definitions of clean.    I can handle sweat odors without any issues,  but if the client wasn't "clean"   I wouldn't proceed.

I've never had that experience.   I usually talk about my own prep and readiness  when I talk to a potential new client.    A client should always expect a provider to be clean and prepped and the same in reverse.

[alrajee]

My first and only experience with being paid for my time happened a few years ago. I posted a story on my Instagram and a gentleman sent me a message. He had asked if I would be interested in letting him worship my feet. Mind you, my Instagram just a normal Instagram; I don't have an alternate business account, but I admittedly post a fair number of pictures of myself without shoes.

I looked at his account, and it didn't have signs of being a scam account: It's updated, his stories are of him, and there's non-bot interaction on his posts.

I replied, sure, why not. He asked for my rate. I told him it's $200 with restrictions. He left me on "Seen" for maybe 30 minutes, before saying okay.

The man who showed up at my hotel lobby looked exactly the same as his pictures. We chatted for a bit, I imagine we were feeling each other out, and when I decided he passed the vibe check, invited him to my room. I provided what he requested and he got off. I did enjoy as well—there's the thrill of what I'm doing, and I actually enjoyed the foot worship. Once he was fully dressed, we chatted again, and he handed me an envelope. I thanked him and he left.

To my surprise, he paid me $300.

Considering how everything went smoothly with that interaction, if you had asked me if I can do the job then, I would have said yes. But I didn't think I would have been able to maintain it.

[Guest]

17 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

When I was in my mid to late 20s I was living in NYC on a shoe-string budget. I was often invited out by older (40s to 50s) wealthy gentlemen. Many of whom I learned a lot about navigating NYC financially, through investing & social connections. They were all very pleasant, charming fellows and very kind to me. But I had absolutely ZERO physical attraction to any of them.

After a few drinks I would sometimes let one of them suck my cock and pump a load down their throat. But they had to remain clothed and never attempt any other sexual contact. I didn't want them pulling out their own cock or trying to kiss me . They needed to get-off later while jerking off and remembering their special moment with me unloading in their mouth.

There was an inherent turn-on inside the desperation of a wealthy gentleman to pleasure me, worship my body, and swallow my load, all while denying themselves any simultaneous pleasure.

If they had gotten naked or pulled out their dick I would have immediately lost the moment and immediately lost my erection. I admire providers who can find the headspace to overlook the blobs of fat, shriveled balls and general disgust of some customer's bodies.

I would have never been able to do it.

 

[Guest]

You described me to a T, except I’m the cocksucker.

A lot of providers try to get me naked or to do more, but there’s something about this scenario that I’m obsessed with. And like you said, once my clothes come off, it kills the whole experience.

Also, I always get off later that night as I’m fantasizing about it. Sometimes that’s the best part. We can call it…delayed orgasm.

Unfortunately, some providers aren’t fans of this kink; I’ll tell some providers, and they’ll block me automatically.

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, ihearttwinks said:

there’s something about this scenario that I’m obsessed with. And like you said, once my clothes come off, it kills the whole experience.

Worship

[marylander1940]

22 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

When I was in my mid to late 20s I was living in NYC on a shoe-string budget. I was often invited out by older (40s to 50s) wealthy gentlemen. Many of whom I learned a lot about navigating NYC financially, through investing & social connections. They were all very pleasant, charming fellows and very kind to me. But I had absolutely ZERO physical attraction to any of them.

After a few drinks I would sometimes let one of them suck my cock and pump a load down their throat. But they had to remain clothed and never attempt any other sexual contact. I didn't want them pulling out their own cock or trying to kiss me . They needed to get-off later while jerking off and remembering their special moment with me unloading in their mouth.

There was an inherent turn-on inside the desperation of a wealthy gentleman to pleasure me, worship my body, and swallow my load, all while denying themselves any simultaneous pleasure.

If they had gotten naked or pulled out their dick I would have immediately lost the moment and immediately lost my erection. I admire providers who can find the headspace to overlook the blobs of fat, shriveled balls and general disgust of some customer's bodies.

I would have never been able to do it.

I love your honesty!

 

[d.anders]

I had my share of gay friends from game night who were waiters and salespeople. One guy worked at Bloomingdales for 40+ years before he retired. The horror stories they shared were not pleasant to sit through. NYC is infamous for its asshole customers. Sometimes the more money people have, the worse they are. In our culture, there seem to be a subset of customers who like to abuse service people. They think it's their right. Waiters learn this quickly.

In my 30's, I grew to love massage so much, I thought about going to school for it. I tried it a few times on friends, but my hands tired out pretty quickly. I knew they weren't strong enough. I decided if I can't be as good as the experts I loved, then I didn't want to do it. I admitted I did not have the gift.

Before health problems after 50, I had always been a gym goer. You get to see a large cross section of society, naked in the locker rooms. I like to think of myself as a person with humanity, but since I never had a strong libido, it takes a certain something to turn me on. I never had an issue with surrendering my body to another man, but reciprocation was always an issue. My sex partners didn't need to be pro models, but there had to be something that sparked a flame. These obstacles are not qualities for good escort work. However, if I had the right stuff, I imagine I could enjoy a lot of it. I have always loved the concept of being independent, and when I'm attracted to someone, I fully enjoy pleasing him.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I know I could do it. I like sex and have a broad palate of what I find attractive. I also find being desired a huge turn on. I wasn't muscular - but I was a ginger twink with a great ass. 

I had offers in the early 90s - one from a high-end Madame with a stable of girls and boys. But as someone who is primarily a bottom, I didn't want to risk the chance of HIV. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I had an "older boyfriend" in college who helped with the expenses, who was about 40 years older than me, and who I would not have dated unless he was giving financial assistance to me. Call that what you will.

I have no problem dealing with one person, like a sugar daddy. I don't date people who are supermodels, so I've learned to find attraction in people who aren't conventionally attractive. But I'd have trouble meeting different people all the time.

Edited March 13 by DrownedBoy

[Keenan]

On 3/11/2025 at 1:46 AM, CuriousByNature said:

In addition to the tremendous amount of focus and determination it must take to meet with clients who would not normally attract a provider, I also can't imagine how difficult it must be to meet up with someone you know nothing about.  And to do this multiple times in a day or a week.  The risk of disease can only be mitigated so far, and the risk to personal safety can probably increase quite suddenly with some clients.  Then there's the societal stigma, the risk to interpersonal relationships with family and romantic partners, the stresses and costs of keeping oneself in tip-top condition, the expense of marketing oneself and travel, and the risk of income loss during unexpected crises like pandemics and recessions.  I imagine the work is physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually draining.  No work-place benefits or pensions, no protection through regulations in those places where the work is not legal or fully legal, and then there's also the relatively short term nature of this career path - given that everyone ages, and not everyone is able to navigate change and adapt and rebrand themselves accordingly.  All in all, I can't think of many other careers that have the potential to bring so much happiness and fulfilment to the clients, and with such a high level of diverse risk for the providers.   

This is part of the reason why it really bothers me when providers are objectified and disrespected in this forum.  Yes, there are those providers who evidently fall very short of the mark and it's good to warn others about them, but the number of people who are truly suited for this line of work is likely exceedingly small, and I would argue they should be seen and treated as the professionals they are.  

Many of the things you mentioned held true in my younger years as an escort.  Being naive I didn't properly screen and didn't take proper precautions.  I dealt with everything from aggressive clients who had weapons or were on drugs to being raped to being held against my will.  Also not using PrEP in my younger years and taking clients bare I did deal with some STDs, luckily nothing that couldn't be resolved.  This work is definitely physically, emotionally and mentally draining.  Luckily after my family found out I was doing adult work, also stripping and adult videos, they have been supportive, even somewhat protective.  

[+ nycman]

On 3/11/2025 at 6:28 PM, Charlie said:

That experience was what taught me that I was not suitable for the profession of sexual provider.

Wait…that was YOU?

You’re lucky I gave you $20.

You owe me dinner, you dirty Philly whore. 

[d.anders]

On 3/11/2025 at 1:46 AM, CuriousByNature said:

This is part of the reason why it really bothers me when providers are objectified and disrespected in this forum.

Some of the trending posts lead me to reading in the Deli. @CuriousByNature and @Keenan, your posts on this thread are eye openers. On second thought, I couldn't do the job. The scrutiny that guys endure here would kill me. I wonder who among us customers could tolerate being publicly naked and so openly judged? It was difficult enough dealing with criticism in the workplace, which was mostly kept private. I've never had to endure a customer rant on the internet, let alone a vile pile-on.

Edited March 14 by d.anders