I fucked up, help me fix it?

[Yukon21]

So this is what happens when the little head acts before the big head intervenes and stops the impulse decisions. 

[Luv2play]

2 hours ago, aiseeya said:

Thanks....was asking solely bcs no provider ever quoted me 1k+ for a 24ho hire. Lowest was north of 3,5k. 

It all depends on how many days are involved. The more days, the lower daily rate. That’s my experience. 

[Newtdad]

3 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

Yah. I won’t make this mistake again.  I’m used to dealing with escorts who share their price upfront and I get to say yes or no.  

Can't blame you. When we're presented with something that makes us feel fuzzy and/or horny, guys tend to think with their other head instead of the one above our shoulders. It happens even to the best of us.

[+ PhileasFogg]

Suggest an amount of $/day plus you have all expenses covered.  I’d suggest $500/day  which, combined with travel costs, equals the general range for overnights.  

[+ azdr0710]

don't forget some daily "walking-around money"!.......

[Guest]

13 minutes ago, azdr0710 said:

don't forget some daily "walking-around money"!.......

I would NEVER forget walking around money. 

1 hour ago, PhileasFogg said:

Suggest an amount of $/day plus you have all expenses covered.  I’d suggest $500/day  which, combined with travel costs, equals the general range for overnights.  

I’m leaning towards $500 a day. I think he’d be happy with that. 

[+ Pensant]

9 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

don't forget some daily "walking-around money"!.......

On Antarctica? A stroll around Queen Maud Land?

[+ purplekow]

19 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

I would NEVER forget walking around money. 

I’m leaning towards $500 a day. I think he’d be happy with that. 

Let's see.  He is at your beckon call 24 hours a day for 2 weeks and you think $21 an hour is fair.   So you are giving him what he will accept rather than what the service is worth.  Merry Christmas.  

[Luv2play]

This travel companion was found on SA as I understand and is not your conventional escort. There is no standard regarding compensation for these types of engagements, nor for what activities the engaged person is expected to perform. 
I don’t think 24 hours service at beckon call is the template. It’s whatever type of companionship is mutually agreed. 
 

I just read the report of the Ethics Committee regarding a certain public figure and there is detailed discussion of escort services and seeking arrangement type encounters. Monetary compensation was also discussed. All very enlightening.
 

Coming back to this scenario, I think $500 per diem on top of all that is being offered is reasonable, if we are not talking about 24 hour sexual marathons on a daily basis. 

Edited December 25, 2024 by Luv2play

[mike carey]

1 minute ago, Luv2play said:

Coming back to this scenario, I think $500 per diem on top of all that is being offered is reasonable, if we are not talking about 24 hour sexual marathons on a daily basis.

24 hour sexual marathons? A man is not an antechinus!

[Luv2play]

9 minutes ago, mike carey said:

24 hour sexual marathons? A man is not an antechinus!

Have you read the House Ethics report?

[Luv2play]

That guy got a lot for $400 jaunts to the Bahamas. 

[MikeBiDude]

55 minutes ago, purplekow said:

Let's see.  He is at your beck and call 24 hours a day for 2 weeks and you think $21 an hour is fair.   So you are giving him what he will accept rather than what the service is worth.  Merry Christmas.  

Arrangements (especially longer term) from seeking.com aren’t the same as a hire from RM. There are no hard/fast by-the-hour, by-the-day “rates”. Chemistry and connection are the name of the game there. 

I know there are many that are skeptical or dismissive of Seeking - and its users like myself - but it’s been fun for me.

[soloyo215]

On 12/23/2024 at 2:44 PM, Coolwave35 said:

Hey!  So I need some help. 

To keep life interesting, I added a line to my seeking profile that if someone could guess where I wanted to travel to, I'd take the person.

I got over 150 guesses, and finally a correct one.  As luck would have it, the kid that guessed it is well traveled, beautiful, my type, but inexperienced in arrangements.  We've been talking a lot since this went down two weeks ago.  Tomorrow, we both head to Buenos Aires in route to Antarctica.  We'll be traveling together for a little over 2 weeks.

Here's where the mess up is.  We haven't settled on a fee for him yet.  I don't usually let things get this messy, but this time I did.

I THINK he thinks his compensation is mostly the trip, but then something additional if I'm happy with the level of intimacy we enjoy.  I know I'd have a better time asking for more intimacy if there was some time compensation component that we both agreed to before hand.  Each time we've had this talk over the past two weeks, we end up at him wanting me to tell him what his time is worth to me.  I get it, he doesn't want to overshoot and start with a bad taste, or undershoot and leave money on the table.  I keep encouraging him to just tell me what he thinks is fair. 

He's an expatriate from the Mormon church living in Mexico.  An experience like this has never fell in his lap before and I KNOW he's appreciative.  He's been gracious, and he's run all the charges by me for approval before he books things.  

Here's how I left it, which is even more messy and unfair, and the only part of this that's been stressful.

I told him, let's table the conversation for now.  When we get back to Buenos Aires on the return portion, you tell me how much you want to be paid for traveling with me.  I said that whatever it is, I will pay it.  However, if I feel like it is unfair, we just won't take another trip together.  It sounded better in my head, but that was a lot of pressure to put on a kid that hasn't been a paid travel companion before, and wildly unfair.  I feel responsible for fixing this, but for the first time in years, I'm at a loss.

Thanks fellas!

If you have the means and interest, I'm sure you can have a good idea of what a fair compensation is. Be ethical about it.

[Guest]

12 hours ago, purplekow said:

Let's see.  He is at your beck and call 24 hours a day for 2 weeks and you think $21 an hour is fair.   So you are giving him what he will accept rather than what the service is worth.  Merry Christmas.  

Can you do me a favor and just not ever respond to my posts?  You have an issue with me that I don’t care to figure out and my experience on these boards would be better if you stopped interacting with me. Thanks. 

[Guest]

11 hours ago, MikeBiDude said:

Arrangements (especially longer term) from seeking.com aren’t the same as a hire from RM. There are no hard/fast by-the-hour, by-the-day “rates”. Chemistry and connection are the name of the game there. 

I know there are many that are skeptical or dismissive of Seeking - and its users like myself - but it’s been fun for me.

Exactly. Even when I’m with escorts I barely have sex. 

[MscleLovr]

I applaud you @Coolwave35 for being so open about this mess…but I must also admonish you.

You’re the older man. You’re supposed to be experienced, sophisticated and more worldly. Yet you’ve acted like a teenager.
You need to exercise some impulse control. You’ve compounded the silliness by treating this man as you would a sex worker. 

Are you withholding some info? You’re entitled to do so, of course, but…Have you already had fun in bed with him?
I’d hate to see you embark on a lengthy vacation without you being utterly certain that you are both congenial companions and very sexually compatible. Buenos Aires is a fascinating city but I would not spend time there with someone incompatible. Let alone in Antarctica, which is ‘another world’ where you’ll be in close quarters on the ship.

I too had success with Seeking and I dated some very nice guys from there. Most often, I found the allure of a vacation or trip overseas was compelling for the men who were all “enthusiastic amateurs” (handsome, preppy 21+ and gay).

My approach was to detail what I enjoy (flights in business or first, luxury hotel, good restaurants etc) and I’d emphasise that I’d pay for everything including his everyday needs.
I would ask what his expenses (eg rent, gym membership, bills) might be while away from home and state that I’d cover all that. 
Then I would spell out what exactly what I enjoy in bed (eg I’m a top only, like to top  in late afternoon before dinner, enjoy kissing and cuddling, and like to be sucked off to completion first thing in the morning).
Also I’d discuss PDA as he may not be as comfortable with this as you. Bear in mind, Buenos Aires has gay rights and equality but I’ve also seen homophobia displayed there. 
Last, I’d ask his view on what cash he’d need for the vacation and what’s entailed in keeping you company. 
 

You may be pleasantly surprised by how modest his expectations are. I always gave ‘walking around’ money in the foreign destination. I was astounded by 2 separate men who offered me all that money back at the end, saying that I’d paid for everything so they hadn’t needed it. 

[nomad]

On 12/23/2024 at 8:38 PM, Coolwave35 said:

I would NEVER forget walking around money. 

I’m leaning towards $500 a day. I think he’d be happy with that. 

I think this is more than fair.  Basing it off what you would pay here is not grounded in economic reality.  It's why so many guys travel to the US so they can make more than they do normally in their home market.  I know guys from Brazil that charge $300-400 when they are here, but said they can't get more than $100 from foreigners in Sao Paulo or Rio because so many of the local guys undercut the rate.  Most choose not work at all when home because it's not worth the effort.

Also, it seems clear there is a large gray area about if and how imitate he will be with you.  He may see this as a rare chance to do and go somewhere he would never get the chance otherwise.  That has a lot of value in his perspective.  He is a travel companion more than an escort.  The power imbalance is obvious.  You're going out of your way to be considerate of his perspective and that should be commended.   

I think he will have an amazing time.  Hopefully, you will too.  If he surprises you and goes above and beyond, be generous with an additional tip that he isn't expecting.  Don't have any regrets.  It's not how any of us should live life.  

Edited December 25, 2024 by nomad

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I've done Antarctica multiple times on Viking's expedition ships.

Flying in is mostly reserved for contractors and military.  

I'll never forget how insane the swells were in the Drake Passage.

[mike carey]

29 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I'll never forget how insane the swells were in the Drake Passage.

+1. Although on my one trip Drake Passage lulled us into a false sense of security. Southbound it was a mill pond. North bound, not so much. Pulling into the lee of Cape Horn was blessed relief, but short lived.

[samhexum]

45 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I've done Antarctica multiple times on Viking's expedition ships.

Flying in is mostly reserved for contractors and military.  

I'll never forget how insane the swells were in the Drake Passage.

 

13 minutes ago, mike carey said:

+1. Although on my one trip Drake Passage lulled us into a false sense of security. Southbound it was a mill pond. North bound, not so much. Pulling into the lee of Cape Horn was blessed relief, but short lived.

What a pair of milquetoasts!

You'd both be crapping your pants if you ever had the cojones to explore this south pole:

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas—on Mars. The otherworldly landscape is, for the most part, a distinct red hue, but recent images reveal unusual frosty features that have turned the Red Planet’s south pole white.

The European Space Agency’s (ESA) Mars Express orbiter captured stunning views of a winter wonderland on Mars, but this isn’t your regular snowfall. Instead, Mars’ south pole is covered in layers of carbon dioxide ice and dust, according to ESA, creating the mesmerizing scene across the planet’s southerly region of Australe Scopuli.

The winter season on Mars sees temperatures drop as low as -190 degrees Fahrenheit (-123 degrees Celsius). As cold as it is, Mars doesn’t get more than a few feet of snow. Unlike snow on Earth, Martian snow comes in two flavors: water ice and carbon dioxide, or dry ice. On the one hand, water ice turns to gas before it touches the surface, due to the planet’s thin atmosphere; dry ice, on the other hand, does reach the surface.

Although it looks like a winter wonderland, the images were taken in June, when it was almost summertime at Mars’ south pole. According to an ESA release, the warming rays of the Sun are causing the seasonal ice layers to begin their retreat, evident on the left side of the image where dark patches are swooping in.

As sunlight shines through the dry ice’s translucent upper layers, the ice at the bottom sublimates—turns to vapor directly from a solid state—and creates pockets of trapped gas. The pressure builds up until the layers of ice at the top start to crack, sending jets of gas bursting through the surface, carrying dark dust from below. After bursting its way through, the dust then falls back onto the surface in a fan-shaped pattern guided by the wind.

A view across icy hills in the Australe Scopuli region near the south pole of Mars. 

In the above view of Australe Scopuli’s seasonal ice caps, layers of ice and dust overlap in a swirling dream across the Martian surface. The image was captured by the High Resolution Stereo Camera on Mars Express, allowing the topography of the landscape to be derived from the digital terrain model. The image offers a closer look at the fan-shaped pattern created by the bursts of dust, creating boundaries between the layered deposits.

ESA’s Mars Express launched in 2003, and has provided breathtaking images of the Martian landscape for more than 20 years. The spacecraft compiled the most complete map of the chemical composition of Mars’ atmosphere, observed the planet’s moons Phobos and Deimos in detail, and traced the history of water across Mars, according to ESA. The mission also carried a lander named Beagle 2, but it was lost on arrival and never conducted scientific operations on the Red (or, apparently, white) Planet.

https://gizmodo.com/mars-orbiter-captures-a-winter-wonderland-on-summertime-mars-2000540892

[mike carey]

And happy holidays to you too, @samhexum. I'll leave Martian dust storms and dry ice snow to you, though. Some things are constant though, it's Australe.

[Guest]

14 hours ago, MscleLovr said:

 

Are you withholding some info? You’re entitled to do so, of course, but…Have you already had fun in bed with him?

We met for the first time this morning at the airport. We spent an incredible day together seeing the city and breaking bread. No bed time yet. He’s currently in the tub and I’m catching up here. 

We did solve the money issue over dinner so all is well! 

So far, he’s a damn good companion. 

[samhexum]

38 minutes ago, Coolwave35 said:

So far, he’s a damn good companion. 

How sad it will be when you toss him overboard on the last night.

[+ nycman]

On 12/23/2024 at 2:44 PM, Coolwave35 said:

I keep encouraging him to just tell me what he thinks is fair. 

Tell him to call me.

I’ll straighten his ass out.

grin