“Scammed” multiple times on 1st cross country tour this year

[Cretus]

5 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Well, be the difference. I’ve seen some posts where you’ve flaked out on providers and probably annoyed them too. Are you learning to do anything differently? 
 

And please stop saying complaining about something for awhile. You’re playing that “calling someone a victim” role that I talked about earlier in this thread (and if you didn’t read it, you should). I’m simply turning back the perspective. Clients talk about how they’re so worried about being scammed a lot: But if they’re going to say that, they have to look at the other side. For one, even having the audacity to refer to freelancer, especially a Black freelancer (and know there’s a difference) as a scam: is undermining.
 

I’m making choices, and have made them already. Less showing number, no going to cities without deposits (which I been doing for the most part) However when I had to drive home from California: I didn’t really have the choice because I was going to the city regardless.

I’m also going to be snapping pictures and sending screen shots so they know there’s no excuses, this isn’t some “surprise” tactic to scam them. It’s all in print.
 

I could never NYC. I like cars, and NYC one of the few places in the country where you are at a disadvantage by having one. Plus all the crime on the subways and streets in New York, last thing they need is more people in the city. I would certainly not move there with the expectation of building an escort clientele.

Los Angeles is car friendly, but I was there too last month. I wasn’t thrilled with having to pay $5 a gallon or just under it, for gas. It was okay when I was not going far, but the commutes from San Diego to LA and Palm Springs: I was spending $50, not even getting a full tank, and then wasting it by sitting in traffic every 10 miles. Gas was like the #1 thing that drained my money while I was out there. 

Moving to LA would also take a ton of money that I don’t have on hand currently. However, I have been toying with the idea of marrying someone who lives in San Diego. But I want to tell him: If we’re going to be together, he’d have to rethink California lol.

Dallas, TX then? More car friendly, still somewhat of a metropolis with many potential clients….

Edited November 22, 2024 by Lolito

[TallMuscl37]

14 minutes ago, Lolito said:

Austin TX then? More car friendly, still somewhat of a metropolis with many potential clients….

Hmm…eons ago, I used to live in San Antonio. For whatever reason Austin wasn’t a hit for me. I have met clients there, but even before I was doing deposits and stuff: However, as the seasons change: I do plan to put that area on my itinerary. Not to mention since then, I’ve become a cowboy 🤠

However I’ve been largely avoiding Texas (stopped in Amarillo couple weeks ago for a night on the way back from California. I should have used mega personals instead of RM). The law surrounding the P word is pretty restrictive. 

Doesn’t seem to matter considering there’s tons of men on RM Houston and Dallas. But I think it’s a lot of ads, with few actual bookings.

Edited November 22, 2024 by Jarrod_Uncut

[TallMuscl37]

6 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

or they assume you can always host there's always something pissing you off.

 

And let me address this, since you want to bring up old dirt and roll your eyes: because I can go there, if you want to go there.

When I was in San Diego, I had a place to base from: so I wouldn’t go bankrupt paying for hotels everyday and waiting around. And of course, I drove out in my personal vehicle so I could go to clients and do Outcalls easily. Once I got the money I needed (versus taking money other clients gave me, to pay for a hotel), THEN I planned to switch to hotels for a day or 2.

But that never happened, at least not in San Diego. Within a couple days I had 2 potential appointments. They started off great: but then they’re like, “can you host”? I’m like…yes, but I wasn’t trying to do a same day hosting appointment. I was willing to work with them and either go to them or host the following day or a later time of day.

But what did they do? Ghost, flake and not follow thru. They didn’t just waste my time, they wasted theirs too. One claims he was hosting at a hotel but had to check out. The other sounded like he had a place to host but “preferred” to come to me. Neither one of them followed thru.

It’s that type of stuff which pisses me off. I already came to the city on my own dime, I made arrangements to stay with someone I know, and they were STILL expecting me to come out of pocket and pay for a room to host them: yet they were hella sloppy in their planning, had no patience, didn’t follow thru and ultimately didn’t respect me or my time. 

Idk how other escorts travel, but I got away from the going city to city booking hotels and crossing fingers. Anywhere I go, I like to have atleast 1 or 2 initial appointments arranged ahead of time: unless, it’s a place like San Diego where I know people already. But I don’t go to cities anymore, show up and book a hotel. 
 

Edited November 22, 2024 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ nycman]

14 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

because I can go there, if you want to go there.

Please don’t.

This road is sooo boring and we’ve been down it sooo many times….

Ugh…too late. 

And we’re off!…….

 

[TallMuscl37]

6 hours ago, nycman said:

Please don’t.
 

Funny gif but…respectfully; you’re free to GTFO if it’s not something you want to discuss. I wasn’t addressing you, I was talking to someone else…

Anyhow: I have another question. Because some in this thread have stated that perhaps I should stay in one market and build the clients here.

However, I’ve heard from 2 other providers here that clients get “annoyed/bored” seeing the same guys advertising in one area. And especially if traveling, supposedly an escort can “wear out” his welcome.

To me that’s a 2 edge sword. Because the closest major city near me, I’ve been in advertising in the area for the longest of any city I’ve lived probably since Florida where I grew up. I have seen guys come and go here. I have blocked probably 80% of the people who have contacted over the years due to bad behavior (haggling, emotional taxation, impatience, unreliability to name a few). 
 

So having to travel has become a necessity for me. Even though it’s not always cross country, I have to regularly show my ad in other cities to stay busy. Some weeks, I get nothing in my home area and have to end up traveling elsewhere.

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 11/22/2024 at 4:16 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

you’re free to GTFO if it’s not something you want to discuss. I wasn’t addressing you, I was talking to someone else…

 I have blocked probably 80% of the people who have contacted over the years due to bad behavior (haggling, emotional taxation, impatience, unreliability to name a few). 

So having to travel has become a necessity to me.

When demand for your services is so high that you are fully booked, then you have freedom to be as restrictive as you want.  But until then, you don’t have leverage on either pricing or terms of engagement.  This is why you’re frustrated # you want to set terms of engagement with people who choose not to have rules imposed on them.  And telling someone to GTFO because you don’t like what you’re saying is part of the problem. 

It’s good that you have this place to vent, but you really should listen if your objective is to make more money with less effort and frustration.  

[TallMuscl37]

39 minutes ago, PhileasFogg said:

When demand for your services is so high that you are fully booked, then you have freedom to be as restrictive as you want.  But until then, you don’t have leverage on either pricing or terms of engagement.  This is why you’re frustrated # you want to set terms of engagement with people who choose not to have rules imposed on them.  And telling someone to GTFO because you don’t like what you’re saying is part of the problem. 

It’s good that you have this place to vent, but you really should listen if your objective is to make more money with less effort and frustration.  

First of all: before you go sticking up for someone, I said it that way because I was responding to @marylander1940 . That wasn’t @nycman place to tell me, “please don’t”. The answer wasn’t directed to him, it directed to someone else. Get that straight first. So that’s why I said GTFO. Understand the context, before you go making assumptions.

2nd: You are out of mind and out of line: to try and tell me I need to drop my boundaries, and don’t have any say on my pricing just because I’m not fully booked. This is the exact reason why I don’t trust discussing certain things with certain people: because you turn around and try to use it as an insult. That’s not at all helpful no matter how much you think it is. It’s shady, and I don’t appreciate it.

3rd: I am not going to put aside my boundaries and screening, whether I’m fully booked or not. Some of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in the biz, have been when I was overly eager and accommodating to get a booking. I was dashing out booking hotels without deposits, doing trips without deposits: And then losing money on people who didn’t do the slightest bit of confirmation to ASSURE they were coming. I stopped being that stupid escort long time ago. Even though things aren’t as busy: a lot of other escorts are dealing with the same. Not everyone is fully booked, with SERIOUS clients. It doesn’t have a anything to do with being “restrictive”.

I’ve said before: the industry now has way more escorts than when I started in 2008. Yet there’s fewer good websites than there were. Because of that, things changed and I have had to adapt to sustain.
 

I’ve also stated before; the last draw for me was couple years ago in St. Louis: I went and booked a hotel room at the Sheraton, had TWO clients who contacted for same day notice. Neither one showed up. One cancelled the other ghosted. I couldn’t get my money back from the hotel, and I didn’t have anyone else lined up. 
 

If you put your thinking cap on, instead of trying to be judgmental and dismissive and sticking your nose in matters that don’t concern you: First take the time to figure out the genesis of why I have to charge what I do, ask deposits like I do, not show my number as regularly as I used to, etc. That would be more helpful than sitting here telling me I need to “listen” and do as I’m told, as if I’m some bitch who doesn’t have any experience in life. Try that first…

Edited November 24, 2024 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ PhileasFogg]

20 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

First of all: before you go sticking up for someone, I said it that way because I was responding to @marylander1940 . That wasn’t @nycman place to tell me, “please don’t”. The answer wasn’t directed to him, it directed to someone else. Get that straight first. So that’s why I said GTFO. Understand the context, before you go making assumptions.

2nd: You are out of mind and out of line: to try and tell me I need to drop my boundaries, and don’t have any say on my pricing just because I’m not fully booked. This is the exact reason why I don’t trust discussing certain things with certain people: because you turn around and try to use it as an insult. That’s not at all helpful no matter how much you think it is. It’s shady, and I don’t appreciate it.

3rd: I am not going to put aside my boundaries and screening, whether I’m fully booked or not. Some of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in the biz, have been when I was overly eager and accommodating to get a booking. I was dashing out booking hotels without deposits, doing trips without deposits: And then losing money on people who didn’t do the slightest bit of confirmation to ASSURE they were coming. I stopped being that stupid escort long time ago. Even though things aren’t as busy: a lot of other escorts are dealing with the same. Not everyone is fully booked, with SERIOUS clients. It doesn’t have a anything to do with being “restrictive”.

I’ve said before: the industry now has way more escorts than when I started in 2008. Yet there’s fewer good websites than there were. Because of that, things changed and I have had to adapt to sustain.
 

I’ve also stated before; the last draw for me was couple years ago in St. Louis: I went and booked a hotel room at the Sheraton, had TWO clients who contacted for same day notice. Neither one showed up. One cancelled the other ghosted. I couldn’t get my money back from the hotel, and I didn’t have anyone else lined up. 
 

If you put your thinking cap on, instead of trying to be judgmental and dismissive and sticking your nose in matters that don’t concern you: First take the time to figure out the genesis of why I have to charge what I do, ask deposits like I do, not show my number as regularly as I used to, etc. That would be more helpful than sitting here telling me I need to “listen” and do as I’m told, as if I’m some bitch who doesn’t have any experience in life. Try that first…

See, it comes out of your pores like that and, I’m guessing, that why it affects your business.    There is not a single statement you made above that did not originate with  use of a harsh tone and with words of aggression.  Your “rules” of booking imply the same harshness, just in more polite ways…that is, approach you on your terms or don’t approach you at all.  You can’t push that reality away with a promise of a big smile and a firm handshake. 
 

Put my thinking cap on?   Why don’t you take your blinders off and your ear plugs out?

Sticking my nose in matters that don’t concern me?  It’s YOUR post is a PUBLIC forum.  If you only want words of affirmation and validation, please put that disclaimer out there so we will all know to not waste our time. 

PLEASE don’t be bragging about your experience in life when all your posts are about your bad experiences and how it’s always everyone else’s fault.  Seriously?

[TallMuscl37]

1 minute ago, PhileasFogg said:

See, it comes out of your pores like that and, I’m guessing, that why it affects your business.    There is not a single statement you made above that did not originate with  use of a harsh tone and with words of aggression.  Your “rules” of booking imply the same harshness, just in more polite ways…that is, approach you on your terms or don’t approach you at all.  You can’t push that reality away with a promise of a big smile and a firm handshake. 
 

Put my thinking cap on?   Why don’t you take your blinders off and your ear plugs out?

Sticking my nose in matters that don’t concern me?  It’s YOUR post is a PUBLIC forum.  If you only want words of affirmation and validation, please put that disclaimer out there so we will all know to not waste our time. 

PLEASE don’t be bragging about your experience in life when all your posts are about your bad experiences and how it’s always everyone else’s fault.  Seriously?

It’s harsh because I’m directing it at you. You’ve already crossed the line telling me I have no say on my pricing and boundaries, what do you expect Goldilocks? 
 

You need to leave. Obviously you’re trying to create a battle, and I’m done engaging. 

[TallMuscl37]

51 minutes ago, PhileasFogg said:

PLEASE don’t be bragging about your experience in life when all your posts are about your bad experiences and how it’s always everyone else’s fault.  Seriously?

And by the way: you sound ridiculous. You’re using that same tired “stop playing the victim” nonsense that I spoke about in the beginning of this thread. I wonder if it was you who said that in one of my threads? I walked away from it last time, but I’m not going to keep letting that shit slide. 

Since you want to talk about it, let’s talk about it. Because you sound ignorant as all hell to begin with. All my posts are about my bad experiences? That’s a lie. I’ve posted plenty of good things. Maybe you need to read this, and let go whatever in your head is making you think I’m “blaming everyone else and it’s their fault”. 
 

The Irony of White Men Claiming Everyone Has “Victim Mentality” | by Amber Wardell, Ph.D | Medium

MEDIUM.COM

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If I see one more white man who’s holding a fish in his profile picture preaching at someone for having a...

 

And the only reason I post this is because, I know the majority on this forum happen to be White, and I know many probably can’t see the specific challenges escorts of color have to deal with in comparison to White or even “non Black” providers. And when I see someone like you trying to denigrate a provider who isn’t “White and fully booked” (because I can read between the lines, and I know that’s what you’re saying in code) I’m going to address it. 

Edited November 24, 2024 by TallMuscl37

[mike carey]