“Scammed” multiple times on 1st cross country tour this year

[TallMuscl37]

I haven’t gotten to reading all the replies yet but: in case anyone wonders why I label it the way I did: just take a look at how many times people have used “scam” in their communications with me:

 

along with:

 

So that’s why I’m like: THEY want to talk about someone scamming? But they’re the MAIN ONES scamming the most lol.

I’ve probably lost over $1,000 this trip alone due to scamming, lying, flaking ass guys who don’t keep their word and are too scaredy cat to actually communicate and address their concerns with me  🤦🏾‍♂️ 

Only one client this whole trip who refused a deposit: actually BOOKED. But he also talked to me on the phone, gave me his home address, and was giving me $500. But his story about being scammed himself: actually had nothing to do with a deposit and wasn’t really a scam… just a bad booking. Nothing to do with me as I don’t know who that person was, and likely never met him.

What I want people to do: is stop using that word scam all together because if that’s what it is, there’s PLENTY of clients out there who are scammers and that would equate to them being just as bad.

 

Who walks into a person’s place of business, and starts calling people scammers? That person would get their ass kicked out the fucking door (figuratively). So nobody should be saying that nonsense when contacting our phones. Yesterday a client took me to a “free” yoga 🧘🏽‍♂️ class he goes too, and afterwards the instructor wanted to sell me a 6 session paid upfront pass. Did I look at her and say; “YOU’RE A SCAMMER!” Absolutely not, that would be rude, childish, and petty. Just like hmmm…some dudes out here disguising themselves as clients 🤔 

This is a conversation elsewhere where the escort asked for a deposit, and the guy says: “bye”. I chimed in with my own similar story at the end.

Edited November 12, 2024 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Trick]

9 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I haven’t gotten to reading all the replies yet but: in case anyone wonders why I label it the way I did: just take a look at how many times people have used “scam” in their communications with me:

 

along with:

 

So that’s why I’m like: THEY want to talk about someone scamming? But they’re the MAIN ONES scamming the most lol.

I’ve probably lost over $1,000 this trip alone due to scamming, lying, flaking ass guys who don’t keep their word and are too scaredy cat to actually communicate and address their concerns with me  🤦🏾‍♂️ 

Only one client this whole trip who refused a deposit: actually BOOKED. But he also talked to me on the phone, gave me his home address, and was genuine. And his story about being scammed on a deposit: actually had nothing to do with a deposit. It was some guy he booked who didn’t even ask a deposit, but took the money after two hours and reportedly: was tweaking around the whole time.

Which again, is not a scam…but just a bad booking. Nothing to do with me I don’t know that person, never met them.

What I want people to do: is stop using that word scam all together because if that’s what it is, there’s PLENTY of clients out there who are scammers and that would equate to them being just as bad.

 

Who walks into a person’s place of business, and starts calling people scammers? That person would get their ass kicked out the fucking door. So nobody should be saying that when contacting our phones.

This is a conversation elsewhere where the escort asked for a deposit, and the guy says: “bye”. I chimed in with my own similar story at the end.

If there’s one thing I’ve seen from these screenshots, it is that your dealings with clients is abrasive and argumentative.  It appears that much communication is spent proving you’re not a scammer. Could that be what turns off people who contact you and make them decide not to book?

[TMonti96]

23 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Once or twice year I’ll pack up a month’s worth of luggage (which is a lot for me) and do at least 2 cross country rides. Generally called “tours” and can last a month or longer. This year, for fairly understandable reasons (hotel prices, gas, biz being less than desired): I haven’t done any. I’ve been traveling, but mainly just keeping it within a day or 2 drive from my home market in the middle of America. The last time I did one, was going to D.C. September 2023, but I couldn’t continue to New York, because I came down with Covid while I was in D.C. (Thankfully got on Paxlovid the next day and only took a couple days to clear).

But, I decided to go out on a limb and do a trip to California South this year: especially since hotels dropped in prices a lot once school started back up. Overall, it’s a 3-4 day drive across a few cities…but staying in each one for a couple/few days can add more time to it.

On my way to California: things were good, but there was rocky periods in between. Got scammed on the 2nd city I went to: Denver. I had a person I set up before arriving (albeit he didn’t send a deposit, my first mistake). I get there, he drags things along, eventually cancelling the morning of. Not great but, I got past it. However that was my only other booking I had scheduled because I only planned to stay 2 nights max. But ended up being a night and half day instead. Went to the next state, stayed a few days: booked 3 clients, everything was looking up.

Then I went to Arizona, and other than 1 newbie in Phoenix and 1 regular elsewhere: it was nothing going on. 1 guy who was in touch with me WEEKS prior to arriving, he ghosted when I got there, but then reached out again on my last day. I’m asking him to confirm, he doesn’t…just kept BSing and asking questions like, “are you really here”, wasn’t picking up his phone when I called: waits til 10:30 pm to say “I’m ready to send it” when I was telling him at 3 pm I needed a confirmed deposit within an hour: I told him too late, and I continued on to my next destination in California. 
 

Get to California: Shit show central. Multiple booking requests in San Diego area, not a single one panned out. Also advertised LA/Palm Springs: Only person I met was someone I was doing a makeup session from earlier this year. Everybody else were just playing games. Ended up traveling 3.5 hours to another city in the valley. Booked with a couple serious clients full service, but had horrendous World Series LA traffic to get there.

I did another round to San Diego and Palm Springs, But still nothing. It was coming up to Halloween and I was ready to leave, even though I was enjoying my time and the people I was with. 
 

The biggest “scams” came on the drive back: I stopped in 3 cities, and not a single person from RentMen or RentMasseur managed to SHOW UP. One after the next flaked, ghosted or cancelled. I only got 2 deposits worth $150 out of it all. It literally felt like zombie apocalypse the whole drive back. Election Day of course didn’t make things any better. I actually took my number down except on my website for a few days: I didn’t even have the motivation to answer the phone anymore. I was out of money, out of patience, and just couldn’t be bothered.

My latest scam: client reached out, requested a session: says he “hasn’t had good luck” with deposits. I agree to meet him with address as alternative: Sends address but then goes completely ghost the next day, even reading text to confirm…and ignores it. So I didn’t even waste my time going. Actually, the scam after that was when I stayed in a city an extra day, person reached out late for either a morning session or “could he spend the night” at my hotel if he came over: which I said normally not for a first time client, but then he still flaked the next morning, never sent deposit as requested even though HE SAID he could do Venmo. And then just declined the cancellation fee request that I CLEARLY OUTLINE in my ad:

The whole point of this is simply saying: No matter how many times a client(s) claim they’ve gotten scammed: for every 1 time it happens, it could be happening 10 times for us. It’s sad that I can’t really trust the majority of people who reach out from the RM sites much. I don’t know what’s happened, places that I used to do well: were barely producing this time. And I don’t get to do trips like this often. This was a lot of money and time spent, yet I only accomplished 1/4 of what I needed done because: without clients keeping their word, it makes it harder to afford the trip and take care of expenses back home.

And before anyone says it: this is not a pity party or “playing the victim” (and people should read why that’s bad form). This is just an illustration of how merely advertising in the industry as a Rent Man/Masseur can be exhausting, unpredictable, expensive, and not always exactly what it seems. If anything, there needs to be more accountability taken by clients and the RentMen platforms, versus cowering away from a responsibility to be reliable with people they reach out to. 
 

It’s also not great when a “client” contacts a provider like myself and uses words like “sounds like a scam/scammer” or immediately refers to being burned by another escort who I have no idea from Adam. I don’t think that requires me to let down my guard and take a risk, multiple risk(S) that I’ve already taken more than once and seen the results.

Going forward, I’m limiting a lot of my accessibility to texting and being very to the point with inquiries, moreso than I’ve already been. If I have to screen shot my ad to them, and making sure they’ve actually read and agree ✅, that may be what it takes. 

Hi Jarrod,

Not long ago, I hired an escort who was travelling throughout Europe who was complaining about the same, namely to have travelled to specific destinations where potential clients (with whom he had been texting a lot via Hunqz & RentMen) claim to reside ended up ghosting him. Travelling to places and booking hotels/airbnbs can be costly if you dont have the matching income to compensate.

My answer to the escort was that i would not be surprized if at least 50% of the people writing to him were actually never willing to hire but were just looking for the thrill of speaking with a living fantasy (no matter what you think, yes, you embody a fantasy for a lot of people hidden behind their anonymity).

It is nice for you to share your perspective with us because, if i were you, I would feel infuriated.  I understand your anger. 

As a client, I am also on the lookout for potential scammers, so in a way we have something in common.

Take care.

[pubic_assistance]

12 minutes ago, Trick said:

your dealings with clients is abrasive and argumentative

Yes.

But your comment will fall on deaf-ears.

It's been discussed ad-nauseum.

It's always "the other person's fault".

 

[Cretus]

21 minutes ago, TMonti96 said:

My answer to the escort was that i would not be surprized if at least 50% of the people writing to him were actually never willing to hire but were just looking for the thrill of speaking with a living fantasy (no matter what you think, yes, you embody a fantasy for a lot of people hidden behind their anonymity).

THIS right here! Providers are perhaps *more* frequently the target of exploitation, even though these acts can’t necessarily be called “scams”. 
 

$350 an hour is a lot. Median individual income in the US is $66K. A LOT of ”clients”, if given the chance, will try to not pay, and try to gain free sexual gratification, at the expense of time of the providers. Especially when they may view providers/escort lives as not worth respecting…. for various reasons…. 

Edited November 12, 2024 by Lolito

[+ 7829V]

Based on previous threads, it sounds like you often encounter challenges and frustrations in your line of work. Have you thought about changing careers, or are there positives that keep you motivated in this field? Sometimes, if you can’t handle the heat, it may be best to step out of the kitchen.

[Delter]

My advice to you Jarrod would be to focus your work in your home city, and build a reliable client base there.

 

For any excursions, definitely emphasize directness in your listings. Yes, limit initial conversations to text. In your case, I would keep requesting deposits for advanced bookings, since it seems they help you recoup lost time, ground travel expenses, (and the psychological pain of expecting a revenue boost and not getting it because of the client flaking). 
 

You look like a hot guy with a nice package. I wish you a more reliable set of clients in the future, sexy man.

Edited November 12, 2024 by Delter

[Simon Suraci]

I missed the question in the OP’s post. Was there one?

[marylander1940]

56 minutes ago, 7829V said:

Based on previous threads, it sounds like you often encounter challenges and frustrations in your line of work. Have you thought about changing careers, or are there positives that keep you motivated in this field? Sometimes, if you can’t handle the heat, it may be best to step out of the kitchen.

It's been talked about so many times, even changing his home location and yet things remain the same.

[+ ApexNomad]

1 hour ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I haven’t gotten to reading all the replies yet but: in case anyone wonders why I label it the way I did: just take a look at how many times people have used “scam” in their communications with me:

 

along with:

 

So that’s why I’m like: THEY want to talk about someone scamming? But they’re the MAIN ONES scamming the most lol.

I’ve probably lost over $1,000 this trip alone due to scamming, lying, flaking ass guys who don’t keep their word and are too scaredy cat to actually communicate and address their concerns with me  🤦🏾‍♂️ 

Only one client this whole trip who refused a deposit: actually BOOKED. But he also talked to me on the phone, gave me his home address, and was giving me $500. But his story about being scammed himself: actually had nothing to do with a deposit and wasn’t really a scam… just a bad booking. Nothing to do with me as I don’t know who that person was, and likely never met him.

What I want people to do: is stop using that word scam all together because if that’s what it is, there’s PLENTY of clients out there who are scammers and that would equate to them being just as bad.

 

Who walks into a person’s place of business, and starts calling people scammers? That person would get their ass kicked out the fucking door (figuratively). So nobody should be saying that nonsense when contacting our phones. Yesterday a client took me to a “free” yoga 🧘🏽‍♂️ class he goes too, and afterwards the instructor wanted to sell me a 6 session paid upfront pass. Did I look at her and say; “YOU’RE A SCAMMER!” Absolutely not, that would be rude, childish, and petty. Just like hmmm…some dudes out here disguising themselves as clients 🤔 

This is a conversation elsewhere where the escort asked for a deposit, and the guy says: “bye”. I chimed in with my own similar story at the end.

Respectfully, I think you might be doing yourself a disservice by venting frustrations and sharing your view of prospective clients to this degree in a forum that’s largely made up of clients and potential clients. To be clear, I’m not saying your frustrations aren’t valid, nor that you shouldn’t vent. But considering the audience and platform, I’m not sure I’d go to such lengths as you have. Maybe try bouncing your frustrations off other provider friends offline or people outside the business. Conversely, if you don’t see this platform as a means to attract new clients as a byproduct of engagement, then by all means, vent away!

[Vin Marco]

1 hour ago, ApexNomad said:

Respectfully, I think you might be doing yourself a disservice by venting frustrations and sharing your view of prospective clients to this degree in a forum that’s largely made up of clients and potential clients. To be clear, I’m not saying your frustrations aren’t valid, nor that you shouldn’t vent. But considering the audience and platform, I’m not sure I’d go to such lengths as you have. Maybe try bouncing your frustrations off other provider friends offline or people outside the business. Conversely, if you don’t see this platform as a means to attract new clients as a byproduct of engagement, then by all means, vent away!

I too believe his frustrations are valid. I've met him in person. He is attractive, he's tall, well built,  he's soft-spoken... I first met him at Trio at the forum gathering  a few years ago,  he sat next to me and he was lovely to chat with. He happened to be in San Diego when I was there a few weeks ago, I bought him breakfast we didn't get to talk about the business much, which I wish we could have but I'm not one to give unsolicited advice.

To your point @ApexNomad you could not have stated that more eloquently and I believe what you said to be absolutely 100% true. 

[Guest]

I've met a lot of traveling providers, and most aren't fans of these cross-country roadtrips. It's one of those ideas that sounds great on paper, but doesn't pan out in reality. The traveling costs eat too much into the profits.

If I was a provider, I'd think long and hard before embarking on one.

(Of course, being a client on a cross-country trip is a great thing; clients definitely have a better and easier experience.)

[Vin Marco]

35 minutes ago, 123guy321 said:

I've met a lot of traveling providers, and most aren't fans of these cross-country roadtrips. It's one of those ideas that sounds great on paper, but doesn't pan out in reality. The traveling costs eat too much into the profits.

If I was a provider, I'd think long and hard before embarking on one.

(Of course, being a client on a cross-country trip is a great thing; clients definitely have a better and easier experience.)

I can only speak from myself, but I love the long tours... I no longer live in Southern California and I just spent 3 1/2+ weeks in Southern California. I was in Los Angeles three times, I was in San Diego twice and I was in Palm Springs three times.  Profit margins dictate where I go and  more importantly, how long I stay.... I agree with you , if the overhead isn't a drop in the bucket compared to the profit, I too would not travel "cross country" for weeks on end. 

Edited November 13, 2024 by Vin Marco

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

The touring model might not be dead, but it's drying up for many guys.

This is why the importance of regular, repeat clients is so important.  If you have a stable of guys who you can rely on for a certain monthly 'nut,' you'll be absolutely fine.

Cultivating this takes time.  It takes weeding out the people you don't need/want to see.  It's also important to find guys you actually share things in common with and truly enjoy spending time with, because you're going to see them a lot.

[Trick]

28 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

The touring model might not be dead, but it's drying up for many guys.

This is why the importance of regular, repeat clients is so important.  If you have a stable of guys who you can rely on for a certain monthly 'nut,' you'll be absolutely fine.

Cultivating this takes time.  It takes weeding out the people you don't need/want to see.  It's also important to find guys you actually share things in common with and truly enjoy spending time with, because you're going to see them a lot.

I wish I lived in San Antonio.

[+ DrownedBoy]

7 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

This is why the importance of regular, repeat clients is so important.  If you have a stable of guys who you can rely on for a certain monthly 'nut,' you'll be absolutely fine.

I wish young and new escorts would learn that quicker.

Edited November 14, 2024 by DrownedBoy
cut down quote

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 11/11/2024 at 12:13 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

 

And before anyone says it: this is not a pity party or “playing the victim” (and people should read why that’s bad form). 

Thank you for schooling us in advance on how to process (or not) your grievance.  As a side note, if it were true, it would never be bad form to share it. But, I don’t fish and victimhood was not the first thing that came to mind this time.

But what did come to mind:

• my personal trainer has this issue
• the woman who cuts my hair has this issue
• my chiropractor has this issue
• and so on

They also have overhead in different ways that they need to cover with their time. 
 

But yes, there are differences.

• They aren’t dealing with an activity that might be done on the DL
• They don’t travel long distances to do their chosen trade
• they are in established physical locations where deposits carry lower risk to the customer 

I completely understand your angst.  I just see it as part of the business risk for your chosen business - and that seems to be a continuing theme as I process your posts about these challenges.  FTR, I’m fairly new to this hobby and I’ve given a deposit once and only one and it was a unique situation that worked out fine. But, I would definitely not make a habit of it unless I was asking the provider to modify their plan to accommodate me. 

[TallMuscl37]

On 11/11/2024 at 1:59 PM, rvwnsd said:

I'm sorry you had to find out about San Diego's flakiness firsthand, @Jarrod_Uncut. If it is any consolation, meeting up for coffee often leads to what you experienced. 

Thanks all for the replies. I went on a “yoga” break for awhile and just been AWOL. However, I will try to answer everyone because I wasn’t aware there was so many questions lingering lol. Starting with Page 1:

But @rvwnsd absolutely. I like San Diego and SoCal as an area, but this has been like the 3rd time I’ve gone and it’s been not great. You’d think I’d say: “I’m never going again” but there has been some trips I’ve gone and had some good fun clients. This time for whatever reason, it wasn’t. I mainly did this whole trip because I haven’t really gone to any beach destination this whole year. Florida obviously wasn’t an option for September. I even tried to meet friends in New Orleans in August, but a hurricane was headed there too.

I was concerned the economy and inflation might have stifled the biz in SoCal: as it has been in my home market (which I’ll respond to @Trick later in this post). But bejesus, I didn’t expect it to be that slow. 

I also know 2 people in San Diego, and 2 people in a couple cities along the way. So it wasn’t like an aimless expedition. 

On 11/11/2024 at 2:17 PM, keroscenefire said:

We actually met on that DC trip Jarrod! Sorry you got sick after. I did too, maybe from that rooftop bar we went to. But yeah I just met with a guy on a trip and he said similar things. Just a lot of flakiness. I think the road trip method is really hard. Just too many expenses that you have to cover and if guys don't work out it can be very hard. Hope it gets better for you soon.

 

Hey 👋🏾 sorry that happened! Yeah I was feeling fine that whole weekend, and then outta nowhere it was like boom. 🤯 It wasn’t even the usual flu type sickness where I felt “sick”. But I was moreso having odd symptoms with my eye and asthma ramped up.

I ended up having to isolate between hotel and sleeping in the car for 3 days. But the Paxlovid cleared me up the same day, and I was negative by the 3rd…but continued the full course. Not great when I was 1,100 miles from home.

I haven’t gotten it since then, even went to the doctor and got tested for what I thought was it when I started having the same symptoms earlier this year: and it was negative. Then later I was around someone who was still testing positive but was not ill, and didn’t get it either 🤷🏾‍♂️ 
 

On 11/11/2024 at 4:39 PM, marylander1940 said:

I wouldn't use the word scam to refer to a no show.

When I read the name of the thread, I assumed someone had stolen money from you, hacked your Venmo, etc.

 

 

The word “scam” was simply me playing up on the common use of POTENTIAL clients always talking about someone is trying to scam them.

Its like something I read on another website: if a dude is so worried about getting scammed, stop fucking looking for sex workers and go get a girlfriend 🤣 
 

On 11/11/2024 at 5:23 PM, NYXboy said:

I can see how this would be frustrating.  It appears you need to have some guardrails up to protect not only your time, but also your mental health from people who are jerking you around so much - and I suspect some are doing this to you for pleasure. It must be tough especially when you are laying down money for hotels etc relying on people who are giving you their word only. However, Too many guardrails and you scare off legitimate business.  It's a ting yang balance and you seem to be struggling with it. 

Have you considered taking time off from this role and pursuing something that would give you more fulfillment? it seems like a rest might give you time to recalibrate. 

 

So: I do take “time off” quite regularly actually. It’s not necessarily me pulling off my ads or hanging up my hat 🎩, but when I come off from tour, I’m basically home and I can go days even a couple weeks and not have any bookings.
 

I don’t like it to be that way, but in the meantime I’m handling stuff like hobbies, projects, and spending time with family. This is also why I don’t really take phone calls and mainly text. Sometimes like @Vin Marco has suggested here, I take my number down all together and only allow email or HOPE they actually read my ad and know where to find my website.
 

On 11/11/2024 at 5:37 PM, Trick said:

I was going to suggest that he stays put in his city, set up his place to be able to host and work on building his client base there.  There’s no “capital” to put down this way.  But I’m sure I’ll get a long reply explaining why the idea isn’t viable.

I don’t need to give you a long explanation: but the short explanation is: have you ever been to Kansas City? If not, then you wouldn’t really know how these dudes out here operate.

Although there are some good clients here at times, usually visitors: the amount of flakes and just overall indecisive behavior that @Ethan Woods mentioned in another thread is ASTRONOMICAL.

I have to actively keep a travel schedule if I want to remain in business in this town, otherwise I will tank. It’s not enough viable business here. I have tried all sorts of avenues: dancing in bars, using hookup apps along with RentMen and RentMasseur. Kansas City, and Missouri in general have men who don’t like to spend money on sex much. Gay men here tend to be “broke” or frugal, or only spend money on their own selfish needs, and IF they do pay…they damn sure make it hell to get. $200 is like the max they want to spend. Anymore than that, I’m asking for the moon and stars. I’ve lost regular clients time and again in this state, because they start trying to pay me less or make a fuss when I try to ask for more than $200. That’s why I’m really trying to go to high end and not accept anything under $250 anymore.
 

And it’s not just here, just the entire region. The rust belt/midwest was never a favorite of mine (Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Missouri all in the I-70 corridor) There’s a lot of racism here, I see it everyday in every way.

The Blacks in Missouri are looked at to be ghetto and poor, there’s always incidents of racism or discrimination in the news. The gays mirror the backwardness as well. I’ve just had to block a regular who was technically stalking me, and time and time again I’ve tried to arrange appointments here and the guys either flake or have lots of bad reviews on the blacklist. And they’re mostly always White guys here trying to fraud.
 

I know that’s long, but you asked and I replied. 
 

On 11/11/2024 at 7:27 PM, marylander1940 said:

@Jarrod_Uncut

Did you make a profit on this cross-country trip? 

I did…but I couldn’t really save much to go back home with. What I made was spent on hotels, gas, stuff I brought along the way (shout out to gay mart and Dicks Palm Springs lol). Not to mention I was also paying some bills while I was gone.

The flakes and LAST MINUTE cancellations really messed me up in the long run. I would have profited if at least 5 clients didn’t lie on their dick about booking me. That is what @56harrisond should recognize, because there’s a difference between a cancellation and a scammer. These guys are as fraudulent as they come…

On 11/11/2024 at 8:14 PM, Lolito said:

I mean, even mentions of positions, details about ejaculation volume, favorite dirty words, etc can be used to get off. Providers are  definitely less susceptible to a time-waster who texts rather than calls, as the escort would rapidly get tired of typing.
 

Phone calls are a more effective way for a time-waster to masturbate and get off. They involve  more rapid /effortless communication, and time flies by without the provider realizing they have given the “caller” 5 minutes of jerk off material.

 

 

I don’t like phone calls unannounced. I don’t mind chatting by phone, but I’m rarely ever picking up the phone to talk to someone who hasn’t made an appointment. For one: I need to screen them. I don’t like talking to someone who I don’t even know their name, what they look like, what city, who what when.

When I was in Denver, someone called me from a hotel and I was very suspicious. I absolutely would not go to him, without a deposit or redirect to his room phone. He was a flake too. Phone calls were okay back in 2010 when I started, but now it’s different.
 

On 11/11/2024 at 8:47 PM, 56harrisond said:

If anyone was "scammed" it would be the two potential clients who didn't have their deposit returned when services weren't rendered. Buyer beware.

 

Stop. Don’t even go there. Those 2 clients sent their deposit and had to cancel on their own doing. Plus, they were in a city I was traveling to, therefore I really didn’t make much in the way off that. It was mainly for commute expenses. 
 

But since you’re the expert and genius, and don’t think scams are scams: I’ll give you an example of someone who contacted me. He couldn’t pass my screening so I didn’t waste any time, but the person he contacted the day prior to me, wasn’t so lucky:

And here’s another escort who had his time wasted (But I shut his ass down after the first text: couldn’t get pass my initial screening text). I like when the trash 🚮 takes itself out: the ones who don’t respond or don’t even have the decency to INCLUDE when I ask their Name/Age/City/Time Desired/Host or Travel: aren’t worth a single hello or goodbye in the first damn place 🥾 

On 11/11/2024 at 9:17 PM, Ali Gator said:

Once again, I need to point out that this is the cost of being in business for oneself, especially a service business. Whether you're a provider, a hairdresser, a restaurant owner, B&B owner, mechanic, etc. - THIS is the cost of doing business. It happens to the most experienced of us and the least experienced of us.  You live and hopefully learn. 

A friend of mine has been a mechanic for 25 years (that's how long I've been going to him), working at the same small business. This past Spring, when he turned 50, he took the plunge - invested his savings and bought the business from the owner. It's what he has wanted to do all his working life - be his own boss / business owner. The garage itself is small, and the property it sits on is small which made it more appealing, as he knew it would be easier to control his expenses. He hired a part-time mechanic to work with him through the summer, hoping to make him full time by now.

He actually lost money over the summer as long-time customers who made appointments were 'no shows'. Of the half dozen or so appointments he made for each day (6 days a week) one or two would show up (those were usually new customers). The ones who didn't show up would never call, and those he could reach by phone made excuses ("I thought the appointment was next week"). He couldn't wrap his head around it - these were long-time customers of the business, he knew them well, and now they were treating him like shit. 

The fall hasn't been so wonderful, either. He's had many sleepless nights trying to figure out how he can make ends meet. He's going to stick it out, as he really has no other feasible choice at this point. He started to ask for a small deposit with the appointments, but no one was willing to fork over $50 - instead they promised him they'd never cancel or be a no-show (so far, not true). With a little bit of my help via my own experience, he's learned to deal with it and make the best of it. It comes with the territory. 

This is a great story. I understand the auto mechanic industry well: and tbh even though I enjoy it, I don’t like the idea of being one lol. I’ve become proficient at working on my own vehicles as much as I can, except anything that involves heavy duty wrenching or impact…that stuff I’ll leave to the shop.

I knew some mechanics in Florida and Texas don’t schedule appointments at all. They just say come by over the phone for a quote to look at it. They work on 3 different cars at once. However, when I moved to the Midwest: EVERY shop just about requires appointments. Unless it’s just basic tire stuff but even then, I couldn’t even get my tires rotated in Arizona earlier this month because every place was booked for a few days. And when I did find a place available, they wanted to talk me into new tires. Like ahh, no lol. Not with the amount of money I lost 😞 dealing with dummies.
 

On 11/11/2024 at 9:29 PM, Trick said:

What do you all think is the reason why Jarrod always gets the flakes and the scammers? Is it really that bad for the other providers?  I feel like there’s a side of the story we’re not getting here.

 

Example from another website with other people talking. So what’s your question again? You have to get out of the mentality that it’s something I’m doing wrong necessarily. No: it’s just how shitty Americans treat escorts online. It’s real. Just say it. This country fails to take the steps towards legitimizing the profession, so there’s idiots all day long who don’t think what we’re doing matters.
 

To them, it’s a joke and a game. Or it’s “just sex” for the ones who actually do show up. But it’s not. This is people’s time, money, energy, ambition. Toying with that is bad karma. I have known some people out there who have passed away and it’s like: some were pretty shitty towards escorts. It’s not ethical. The transference of energy is not a 1 way street…
 

Edited November 21, 2024 by Jarrod_Uncut

[TallMuscl37]

Page 2: lol

 

On 11/12/2024 at 11:20 AM, Trick said:

If there’s one thing I’ve seen from these screenshots, it is that your dealings with clients is abrasive and argumentative.  It appears that much communication is spent proving you’re not a scammer. Could that be what turns off people who contact you and make them decide not to book?

 

Lot of these were older conversations, granted. Nowadays, I would never. They would be kicked off my phone in a second. Matter of fact, after the last guy said that to me: I’m not going to even let people get the chance to come at me like that. Because now: I’m going to start sending these people screenshots of my ad where it says deposit is required: and highlight it followed by: 

PLEASE CONFIRM YOU’VE READ MY AD. 

I’ve done it twice already so far, and it helped the trash 🚮 take itself out on the very first message. Or it’s made them understand: I’m not with the bullshit, let’s get down to biz.
 

On 11/12/2024 at 11:32 AM, TMonti96 said:

Hi Jarrod,

Not long ago, I hired an escort who was travelling throughout Europe who was complaining about the same, namely to have travelled to specific destinations where potential clients (with whom he had been texting a lot via Hunqz & RentMen) claim to reside ended up ghosting him. Travelling to places and booking hotels/airbnbs can be costly if you dont have the matching income to compensate.

My answer to the escort was that i would not be surprized if at least 50% of the people writing to him were actually never willing to hire but were just looking for the thrill of speaking with a living fantasy (no matter what you think, yes, you embody a fantasy for a lot of people hidden behind their anonymity).

It is nice for you to share your perspective with us because, if i were you, I would feel infuriated.  I understand your anger. 

As a client, I am also on the lookout for potential scammers, so in a way we have something in common.

Take care.

I’ve never been to Europe but I’m surprised he had to contend with that level of riff raff.
 

On 11/12/2024 at 11:54 AM, 7829V said:

Based on previous threads, it sounds like you often encounter challenges and frustrations in your line of work. Have you thought about changing careers, or are there positives that keep you motivated in this field? Sometimes, if you can’t handle the heat, it may be best to step out of the kitchen.

I have thought about it, but as I tell people: what alternative do you have for me? Are you willing to front the money necessary for the down time needed to make a career switch? Are you willing to invest money to help me move to a city or area of town that’s more conducive to the type of career switch I’d be looking to do?

Are you investing in my ads, or willing to donate money towards me having an ad up for awhile to promote business, or perhaps help me relocate to a better location?

Mind you: I’m not asking you specifically to do all this, but it’s all stuff that has to be considered if a suggestion is made. It’s easy to make suggestions, it’s harder to actually help someone accomplish it.
 

On 11/12/2024 at 12:15 PM, Delter said:

My advice to you Jarrod would be to focus your work in your home city, and build a reliable client base there.

 

For any excursions, definitely emphasize directness in your listings. Yes, limit initial conversations to text. In your case, I would keep requesting deposits for advanced bookings, since it seems they help you recoup lost time, ground travel expenses, (and the psychological pain of expecting a revenue boost and not getting it because of the client flaking). 
 

You look like a hot guy with a nice package. I wish you a more reliable set of clients in the future, sexy man.

Thankyou, I addressed this above, in a post where I mention why I don’t stay in my current home city of Kansas City. It’s not enough business here to stay consistently. I’ve been trying to leave this place permanently, but I haven’t been able to get the funds set aside to make that happen. I been here since 2018, and been wanting to leave since 2019, but first Covid, and then Monkey pox and now inflation and politics have given a beating. 

The other thing I’ll add is: my experience (going back to 2008) has shown me staying in one home market all the time isn’t necessarily the solution for all. This isn’t saying it’s not a good idea, but like the problem in Kansas City and even many other cities: every time I look around, there’s a new guy and another guy traveling thru the area. And clients tend to naturally want to check out who’s new. I run my ad here, and don’t get serious bookings for days at times. 
 

On 11/12/2024 at 12:32 PM, Simon Suraci said:

I missed the question in the OP’s post. Was there one?

 

On 11/12/2024 at 12:51 PM, marylander1940 said:

It's been talked about so many times, even changing his home location and yet things remain the same.

Like I said above: are you investing or contributing money to help change my home location? Because last time I checked: first months rent, last months and security deposit required in most the biggest cities. I have a vehicle, but on my last trip to California: only ONE client was willing to host. Everybody else wanted incalls. Soooo…changing a home location is going to require a place to rent or buy. Not to mention a U-Haul. Transferring license and registration. Tag and insurance. Emissions testing, inspection (just paid for that yesterday) that costs money when moving to a new state.

How am I supposed to come up with that, when I had probably $2,000 worth of “inquiries” on the last tour, flake out? oh, you want me to just figure it out huh? Okay…

On 11/12/2024 at 2:18 PM, Vin Marco said:

I too believe his frustrations are valid. I've met him in person. He is attractive, he's tall, well built,  he's soft-spoken... I first met him at Trio at the forum gathering  a few years ago,  he sat next to me and he was lovely to chat with. He happened to be in San Diego when I was there a few weeks ago, I bought him breakfast we didn't get to talk about the business much, which I wish we could have but I'm not one to give unsolicited advice.

To your point @ApexNomad you could not have stated that more eloquently and I believe what you said to be absolutely 100% true. 

Thanks much and likewise! I enjoyed catching up and I have been much more motivated to hit my workout goals, even during my tour since meeting you. 
 

…btw ima catch back up with ya soon. Think last time we left off, I was trying to adjust to the sudden cold in Albuquerque 🐇 after being in the desert for a month
 

On 11/13/2024 at 11:47 AM, BenjaminNicholas said:

The touring model might not be dead, but it's drying up for many guys.

This is why the importance of regular, repeat clients is so important.  If you have a stable of guys who you can rely on for a certain monthly 'nut,' you'll be absolutely fine.

Cultivating this takes time.  It takes weeding out the people you don't need/want to see.  It's also important to find guys you actually share things in common with and truly enjoy spending time with, because you're going to see them a lot.

That above sentence is accurate. Thing is: despite everyone saying it’s better to stay in one market: I love traveling and road trips. It surprises me how many people I hear say: “I can only handle being in the car for 2-3 hours, anything longer and I need to fly”. Not me lol. I just sit back, bump my music, watch to my podcasts and play it on the Bose surround…I was doing 7-8 hour drives across the Southwest.

However: I’m noticing there’s too many guys trying to all do the same thing lately. I was thinking about going to Dallas this month: there’s 100 other RentMen visiting all at the same time as well. How many actual clients are there at any given moment?

I will say: my last client on my tour, it was in central Kansas area: we did exactly that. We watched Noah’s Ark reruns together, did yoga and had a couple fun times. He also booked me twice. So that was a nice way to end the tumultuous tour I had.

I likely have to keep traveling this year and even into first half of next year. My ad is always running in different cities. If I were to keep it in Kansas City only, I’d make no money. I simply don’t make enough in Kansas City to really support my lifestyle. Most of my earning, comes from always going to other cities. It’s sad and it sucks having to always be on the go, but it’s just nothing here. That’s why, I haven’t been in a hurry to pack up and relocate to a new city despite EAGERLY waiting to because: I don’t want to make another mistake, moving to a city I end up disliking.
 

Not that those cities are bad or don’t have anything to offer: but I get tired of the gay politics of a city after awhile. Seeing the same guys at the bars, having the same guys messaging me online, etc. Like in Kansas City: it’s the same dudes hitting me up, month after month after month. I try to meet new people, but the client and dating side is dry. Kansas City is all any who you know, and how much FREE sex they can find 🤦🏾‍♂️ I really don’t bother much anymore with these folk. 
 

If I could afford to though, one of my good clients who visits me from Seattle says I need to make a return…I also went to the strip in Palm Springs in Halloween/Gay Pride night: it was almost too many options, yet non who were available lol.

Edited November 21, 2024 by Jarrod_Uncut

[marylander1940]

@Jarrod_Uncut

It's your business, you've been complaining about so many things for such a long time maybe you have to start addressing them and making choices.

[+ nycman]

[Cretus]

Maybe move to NYC or LA?

Despite the many escorts in, say, NYC….. this increase in competition is more than made up for by the sheer population density of inhabitants in NYC (many potential clients).

 

 

Edited November 21, 2024 by Lolito

[TallMuscl37]

5 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

@Jarrod_Uncut

It's your business, you've been complaining about so many things for such a long time maybe you have to start addressing them and making choices.

Well, be the difference. I’ve seen some posts where you’ve flaked out on providers and probably annoyed them too. Are you learning to do anything differently? 
 

And please stop saying complaining about something for awhile. You’re playing that “calling someone a victim” role that I talked about earlier in this thread (and if you didn’t read it, you should). I’m simply turning back the perspective. Clients talk about how they’re so worried about being scammed a lot: But if they’re going to say that, they have to look at the other side. For one, even having the audacity to refer to freelancer, especially a Black freelancer (and know there’s a difference) as a scam: is undermining.
 

I’m making choices, and have made them already. Less showing number, no going to cities without deposits (which I been doing for the most part) However when I had to drive home from California: I didn’t really have the choice because I was going to the city regardless.

I’m also going to be snapping pictures and sending screen shots so they know there’s no excuses, this isn’t some “surprise” tactic to scam them. It’s all in print.
 

3 hours ago, Lolito said:

Maybe move to NYC or LA?

Despite the many escorts in, say, NYC….. this increase in competition is more than made up for by the sheer population density of inhabitants in NYC (many potential clients).

 

 

I could never NYC. I like cars, and NYC one of the few places in the country where you are at a disadvantage by having one. Plus all the crime on the subways and streets in New York, last thing they need is more people in the city. I would certainly not move there with the expectation of building an escort clientele.

Los Angeles is car friendly, but I was there too last month. I wasn’t thrilled with having to pay $5 a gallon or just under it, for gas. It was okay when I was not going far, but the commutes from San Diego to LA and Palm Springs: I was spending $50, not even getting a full tank, and then wasting it by sitting in traffic every 10 miles. Gas was like the #1 thing that drained my money while I was out there. 

Moving to LA would also take a ton of money that I don’t have on hand currently. However, I have been toying with the idea of marrying someone who lives in San Diego. But I want to tell him: If we’re going to be together, he’d have to rethink California lol.

Edited November 21, 2024 by Jarrod_Uncut

[marylander1940]

49 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Well, be the difference. I’ve seen some posts where you’ve flaked out on providers and probably annoyed them too. Are you learning to do anything differently? 
 

 

Funny because some people here called me an endless apologist for escorts. 

Whether clients pay with cash, or they assume you can always host there's always something pissing you off.

Sorry but sometimes it's too much

Edited November 21, 2024 by marylander1940

[TallMuscl37]

4 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Funny because some people here called me an endless apologist for escorts. 

Whether clients pay with cash, or they assume you can always host there's always something pissing you off.

Sorry but sometimes it's too much

If it’s a bother to you: that’s a personal issue. Or at the very least, don’t read my thread. There’s hundreds of others.
 

And I never said clients can’t pay with cash, so don’t bring up other topics here. The “pissing me off” part has to do with people who DON’T READ. It’s nothing to do with cash. And I have in my ads and website now that, first time clients need to make a deposit. When they contact and then say they only do cash, that’s says #1 they haven’t read my ad and just playing numbers game or #2 they read the ad but then think they can finagle around it or disregard my booking instructions.