Ghosted trying to inquire about rates and services

[+ nycman]

9 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

No, it's not OK! If I'm paying, I want what I want. 

[Thelatin]

My personal experience has been that less conversation equals better service, I think it’s appreciated.  I had 3 appointments in September, all new providers for me.  Zero conversation about particulars.  They were all insanely hot - they all fucked my brains out lol.  

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 10/24/2024 at 1:04 PM, Thelatin said:

My personal experience has been that less conversation equals better service

That applies even more during the session.

[misterhumphries]

On 10/24/2024 at 1:04 PM, Thelatin said:

My personal experience has been that less conversation equals better service, I think it’s appreciated.  I had 3 appointments in September, all new providers for me.  Zero conversation about particulars.  They were all insanely hot - they all fucked my brains out lol.  

So are you saying you all were mute during the encounters? Gracious! My powers of telepathy vanished around when I was eight years old.. 

[Thelatin]

10 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

So are you saying you all were mute during the encounters?

About physical activities yes - polite conversation occurs.  I know how sex works.  I don’t have to say at 35 minutes in I want x, then y then z.   They know what they’re doing lol. 

Edited October 26, 2024 by Thelatin

[+ keroscenefire]

On 10/23/2024 at 5:45 PM, Thelatin said:

If he has decent reviews, and you are interested, I wouldn’t ask for more details.  What’s the worst thing that could happen?  It’s ok not to get exactly everything you have in mind.  

I agree especially with masseurs. I kind of like to be suprised and see how far it goes. I've had everything from just a regular massage, to hand jobs, to oral to straight-up fucking. And usually they are charging $50-$100 less than escorts. For that lower price, I'm inclined to let what happens, happen. 

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, keroscenefire said:

usually they are charging $50-$100 less than escorts. For that lower price, I'm inclined to let what happens, happen. 

If a masseur is so inclined to "go there" with escort quality service I pay them exactly what I would have paid an escort.

[+ Jamie21]

It works both ways. I get ghosted by clients regularly!

Client “Hi I’m interested in a massage are you available tomorrow?”

Me “yes I am available anytime between 10am and 9pm”

Client 👻👻👻👻

or this one: 

 

I struggle to understand why some clients simply ignore a reply. Just say ‘thanks but I changed my mind or am no longer interested’. Otherwise I’m waiting thinking ‘He asked so I won’t make firm plans until I hear his reply’. 

Maybe sometimes the message doesn’t get through but often I know it has because WhatsApp tells me so, yet still it gets ghosted. Very strange. 
 

 

[+ José Soplanucas]

48 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

I struggle to understand why some clients simply ignore a reply. Just say ‘thanks but I changed my mind or am no longer interested’. ... Very strange.

Not really. One of my many bad practices when I was a less experienced client and had less disposable income, was contacting several professionals simultaneously, progressively ghosting them as I would filter them.

These exchanges are often not framed by the rules of human empathy and civility, but irrational impulses and obsessions. 

[+ Jamie21]

2 hours ago, José Soplanucas said:

Not really. One of my many bad practices when I was a less experienced client and had less disposable income, was contacting several professionals simultaneously, progressively ghosting them as I would filter them.

These exchanges are often not framed by the rules of human empathy and civility, but irrational impulses and obsessions. 

Yes there is that. They often forget they contacted me previously and message again sometimes years later. Then it’s my turn to ignore them. 

[+ keroscenefire]

14 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

If a masseur is so inclined to "go there" with escort quality service I pay them exactly what I would have paid an escort.

I don't because we still agreed to a price beforehand. But I always have a bit of extra cash for a good tip and they definitely will be the one I go back to again and again. In fact, I had a guy like this in Denver until he recently moved to California. I saw him probably at least once a month. That's doable when it's $200 (I still typically paid $220-$250) then when it's $300. If he asked for escort rates then I would have paid them but he never did with me possibly because I was such a frequent customer. 

[pubic_assistance]

12 minutes ago, keroscenefire said:

I don't because we still agreed to a price beforehand

You also agreed to a massage. Not a blow-job or ass-fucking.

If things go into escort territory, you should pay for the massage and "tip" generously for the extras. Not hand him a $20 and say thanks for the fun.

[+ keroscenefire]

1 minute ago, pubic_assistance said:

You also agreed to a massage. Not a blow-job or ass-fucking.

If things go into escort territory, you should pay for the massage and "tip" generously for the extras. Not hand him a $20 and say thanks for the fun.

Agree to disagree on this one. We had a set rate for a massage and he added extras without asking for anything else. The first time this happened I genuinely didn't have any extra money to give him but told him that I would definitely meet with him again. Next time I specifically asked what his rate was again for the same type of massage and he quoted me the same rate as before. This time I was prepared with some extra money which I gave him.

 

I never argue about a provider's rates whether they are too low or high. I know that when it's all said and done this guy deservedly got thousands of dollars from me as a very regular client and that his services were worth every penny. Last time I saw him I actually did give him $350 just to show my appreciation for the years that he helped me and send him on his way to California.

[Ali Gator]

On 10/18/2024 at 5:09 PM, Jamie21 said:

It’s fairly annoying to be asked what is included in ‘erotic’.  I’m not worried about law enforcement (where I work there’s no problem with selling sex). The problem is that it’s like trying to guess what the client wants…

As a client, I must say it's just as annoying to guess how the provider defines 'erotic'.

 

I'm expecting both of us nude, mutual touch and happy ending. You'd be surprised at how many providers advertising 'erotic' don't provide all three - and I'd like to know up front what they are offering for the rate they are charging (in my area, $200+).  While the provider is guessing what the client wants, the client is guessing what the provider actually offers. So there needs to be communication between the two - and these days, an actual phone conversation is out of the question so texting is the only option. (I find their websites aren't too clear, either - it's mostly a bio on the provider and not what the service is or what differentiates 'sensual' from 'erotic'. 

 

[Ali Gator]

When I'm interested in someone new advertising (usually travelling), I text the following (especially if it says 'Ask' for rates) :

"Hello X, I am happy to see that you are visiting (my city). I'm very interested in the E massage you offer. Does that include both nude, MT and HE from you ? What is the rate for this service ?Thanks in advance ! Please let me know what times you have available - I hope we can meet while you're visiting."

That usually (95% of the time) gets a polite, informative response from them. They usually respond clearly to my questions, giving me the answers to 'the three' up front, the rate, and what times they have open. I then respond back with a Thank You ! (If I'm interested, I let them know the time which will work, if I'm not interested, I let them know the times they are free don't work with my schedule - but I hope to meet up with them next time).

I then say I have one more question before I book - which hotel are they located ? They all advertise in my city but it rarely means they're staying here. I've gotten many providers listing a hotel an hour away, so I know they're not really in my area and then I let them know I wasn't planning on driving that far at this time. (I set my limits to about 10 miles out of the city they're advertising in - otherwise, I don't book.) And if it's a 'seedy' hotel/motel, I let them know straight out I'm not comfortable going there, so I'll catch them next time (this has happened only a handful of times - the hotels were disgusting, so I can't imagine having a 'relaxing' time with them there). 

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

You also agreed to a massage. Not a blow-job or ass-fucking.

If things go into escort territory, you should pay for the massage and "tip" generously for the extras. Not hand him a $20 and say thanks for the fun.

Unfortunately most people want everything for as little as possible.

[Nightowl]

I tried to schedule with a guy who advertised erotic massage and when I asked for it, he accused me of being an undercover cop and blocked me.  I figure if you put erotic in your profile and post nude pictures, you shouldn’t be surprised when someone asks for erotic….

[Monarchy79]

B.L.U.F.:

You wanted a committee guarantee of specific activities during your session that the masseur wants the flexibility of allowing the mileage to vary.

 Therefore, you got ghosted after asking for specifics. 

[viewing ownly]

On 10/27/2024 at 5:53 AM, Jamie21 said:

It works both ways. I get ghosted by clients regularly!

Client “Hi I’m interested in a massage are you available tomorrow?”

Me “yes I am available anytime between 10am and 9pm”

Client 👻👻👻👻

or this one: 

 

I struggle to understand why some clients simply ignore a reply. Just say ‘thanks but I changed my mind or am no longer interested’. Otherwise I’m waiting thinking ‘He asked so I won’t make firm plans until I hear his reply’. 

Maybe sometimes the message doesn’t get through but often I know it has because WhatsApp tells me so, yet still it gets ghosted. Very strange. 
 

 

In the less than 1% likelihood defense here, but perhaps he died? Late Judy Tenuta the comedienne said it best. "Could happen".

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 10/17/2024 at 9:22 PM, BigNoiseDallas said:

Should I have not used a text to ask about what "erotic" included?

I wouldn't.  Similarly, I also ignore any private messages from forum members who private message me to ask what "erotic" elements were included with a massage.  It's just creepy to see someone ask this

Edited January 26 by Vegas_Millennial

[DunwoodyGuy]

Think about it: If you ASK what's included in an erotic massage, you will rarely get a satisfactory answer because, as well know, "erotic massage" means so many different things to different people. So how could a masseur possibly know what you have in mind? And it's unlikely that the masseur has a cookie-cutter approach to something so based on chemistry and connection.

But if you SAY what you would like to be included, the answer will usually tell you everything you need to decide to book or not, whether it's positive or negative.

My usual statement is "I like a massage that combines therapeutic techniques with erotic touch throughout, not just at the end." When the response is something like "That's not a problem" or "That's exactly what I do," I feel comfortable booking. If that question results in ghosting, I also have my answer.

[Simon Suraci]

4 hours ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

Think about it: If you ASK what's included in an erotic massage, you will rarely get a satisfactory answer because, as well know, "erotic massage" means so many different things to different people. So how could a masseur possibly know what you have in mind? And it's unlikely that the masseur has a cookie-cutter approach to something so based on chemistry and connection.

But if you SAY what you would like to be included, the answer will usually tell you everything you need to decide to book or not, whether it's positive or negative.

My usual statement is "I like a massage that combines therapeutic techniques with erotic touch throughout, not just at the end." When the response is something like "That's not a problem" or "That's exactly what I do," I feel comfortable booking. If that question results in ghosting, I also have my answer.

Well said 👏 👏 👏 

Take notes, gentlemen.

[Ali Gator]

In some cases over the years with new providers I can't find much info on, it's been better for me not to ask specifics in the text and just say I'd like to book a massage appointment with them (and where I found their ad).  They set the appointment, and then that prompts them to ask what type of massage am I looking for of the 'three' they provide, and I let them know I'm undecided between two - sensual and erotic. Rather than put them on the spot and communicate via texts, I tell them they can explain the differences between the two before the appointment starts and I'll decide then. So when I get to their hotel room / studio, and meet them in person, they tell me what each entails (and there is no excuse of 'miscommunication' in texts). I can also tell if there is any attraction to the provider from me that will make the erotic very enjoyable (not just physical attraction, but personality-wise), or if sensual will be enough (and I save about fifty dollars). It's a win-win situation which has never failed me.

[pubic_assistance]

10 minutes ago, Ali Gator said:

when I get to their hotel room / studio, and meet them in person, they tell me what each entails (and there is no excuse of 'miscommunication' in texts). I can also tell if there is any attraction to the provider from me that will make the erotic very enjoyable (not just physical attraction, but personality-wise)

I think that is a very good strategy.

Personally...I just book an erotic massage and let them do their thing.

If you're a pro, you should be able to read my body language and if you're a provider with a little range of services wandering into escort-land...then i tip generously and discuss what other services are offered AFTER the payment and before I leave.

[Oakman]

I’ve learned from this forum that a lot of gents enjoy the thrill of letting an ambiguously defined massage session unfold, and seeing what services and satisfaction come their way. Personally, I’ve found this to be infuriating and oftentimes disappointing, and I no longer book massage services when what I want is either sex or an orgasm. I book an escort and remove the possibility of ambiguous expectations.