I Guess I'm Not Gay After All...

[+ Gar1eth]

Let me expound a bit. First did anyone notice that pigs and donkeys were flying last night? I was the cause. I had a -well I guess it was a hook-up. We did meet (planned) at  a bar first and had a drink. That was followed by us going to his house. Considering the meetup at the bar,  maybe it was just a date on hyperspeed. 
 

But to get back to the topic at hand... as I was cleaning up after, I asked to use his bathroom. While in there, I wasn't really snooping. But I wasn't wearing my glasses. On top of that I've developed cataracts and haven't had a chance for surgery yet. I walk around in a bit of a visual haze even with glasses on. (If I drive at night-which I try not to-G-d really is my co-pilot). 
 

While trying to find the soap to wash my hands I came across several personal grooming  toiletries -much more than I have. (I have to add that I came across his aftershave/cologne, and he smelled great!!)

Let me tell you what I have in the way of toiletries in my bathroom. 
1) 1 Bar of Irish Spring Soap

2) 1 Bottle of Irish Spring 3 Way Body Wash 

3) 1 Old Spice Antiperspirant/Antideoderant Stick 

Aside from some shaving things-that's pretty much all I have. Now I'm bald so I don't really need any hair products (my 'date' had a full head of hair (I'm jealous) , so we'll have to give him some leeway on that. And I've had aftershave/rarely, if ever, cologne but haven't used any in awhile. I never  used it consistently even when I was young. And I always hated the way the aroma would stay in my nose for hours.
 

I will admit to also occasionally using body spray -esp down in my private area -when having a date or hook-up. (But those have been few and far between over the last 7 months. ). 
 

My notice of my lack of toiletries isn't a new phenomenon. I used to notice it a lot while either doing incalls with escorts  or when I'd do an overnight or weekend with escort. 
 

So with my lack of toiletries, I guess there's a good chance I've been deceiving myself about being gay. But now that I think about it-maybe straight guys are buying more grooming items too these days.
 

So maybe I'm not straight either. I guess I'm in a lonely category by myself. 

Gman

Edited September 20, 2024 by Gar1eth
Added a word

[+ PhileasFogg]

Out of curiosity, is he much younger than you?

[mike carey]

Welcome back @Gar1eth! On this one I think you're overthinking this and possibly applying an unfortunate stereotype about what gay men are 'permitted' and 'not permitted' to be and do. In reality there are gay men who wouldn't be seen dead using any 'product' and other who wouldn't be seen dead without it. There's a yin for every yang.

[+ nycman]

 

[pubic_assistance]

6 hours ago, Gar1eth said:

So with my lack of toiletries, I guess there's a good chance I've been deceiving myself about being gay.

I think a preponderance of beauty products is more indicative of the insecurities about one's appearance more than an indication of homosexuality.

[soloyo215]

7 hours ago, Gar1eth said:

Let me expound a bit. First did anyone notice that pigs and donkeys were flying last night? I was the cause. I had a -well I guess it was a hook-up. We did meet (planned) at  a bar first and had a drink. That was followed by us going to his house. Considering the meetup at the bar,  maybe it was just a date on hyperspeed. 
 

But to get back to the topic at hand... as I was cleaning up after, I asked to use his bathroom. While in there, I wasn't really snooping. But I wasn't wearing my glasses. On top of that I've developed cataracts and haven't had a chance for surgery yet. I walk around in a bit of a visual haze even with glasses on. (If I drive at night-which I try not to-G-d really is my co-pilot). 
 

While trying to find the soap to wash my hands I came across several personal grooming  toiletries -much more than I have. (I have to add that I came across his aftershave/cologne, and he smelled great!!)

Let me tell you what I have in the way of toiletries in my bathroom. 
1) 1 Bar of Irish Spring Soap

2) 1 Bottle of Irish Spring 3 Way Body Wash 

3) 1 Old Spice Antiperspirant/Antideoderant Stick 

Aside from some shaving things-that's pretty much all I have. Now I'm bald so I don't really need any hair products (my 'date' had a full head of hair (I'm jealous) , so we'll have to give him some leeway on that. And I've had aftershave/rarely, if ever, cologne but haven't used any in awhile. I never  used it consistently even when I was young. And I always hated the way the aroma would stay in my nose for hours.
 

I will admit to also occasionally using body spray -esp down in my private area -when having a date or hook-up. (But those have been few and far between over the last 7 months. ). 
 

My notice of my lack of toiletries isn't a new phenomenon. I used to notice it a lot while either doing incalls with escorts  or when I'd do an overnight or weekend with escort. 
 

So with my lack of toiletries, I guess there's a good chance I've been deceiving myself about being gay. But now that I think about it-maybe straight guys are buying more grooming items too these days.
 

So maybe I'm not straight either. I guess I'm in a lonely category by myself. 

Gman

Haven't read anything from you in a while, so welcome back.

I'm not sure if the amount of toiletries and personal care products determine people's sexual orientation. There might be some stereotyping there.

One thing is one's sexual orientation, and a different one is how one feel the need to take personal care via products, needed or perceived to be needed.

It might be interesting noticing all the things and wondering why I don't have those or why I don't feel like I need them. But outside of basic human curiosity, I'd say it's not worth giving it too much weight. I'd be happy to be dating a person who takes good care of himself as opposed to some guy who might not even use toilet paper.

Enjoyment of the date and the company (regardless of what the outcome is) is what should matter.

Best.

Edited September 20, 2024 by soloyo215

[CuriousByNature]

You mention you use Old Spice, which hearkens back to sailing ships filled with young men shivering their timbers and shooting across the bow with all hands on dick.  I mean, deck.  So I think that alone proves you're gay.

But if you used Stetson, you'd probably be straight - though maybe not, given Brokeback Mountain.

And Old English Leather speaks for itself.

[+ azdr0710]

Great to hear from you, @Gar1eth  

[+ Gar1eth]

1 hour ago, soloyo215 said:

 as opposed to some guy who might not even use toilet paper.

yech!!

1 hour ago, soloyo215 said:

Enjoyment of the date and the company (regardless of what the outcome is) is what should matter.

Best.

That's so true. 
 

7 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

Out of curiosity, is he much younger than you?

Well not like 20 years or something. I think he's in his 50's. 

 

 

26 minutes ago, CuriousByNature said:

You mention you use Old Spice, which hearkens back to sailing ships filled with young men shivering their timbers and shooting across the bow with all hands on dick.  I mean, deck.  So I think that alone proves you're gay.

But if you used Stetson, you'd probably be straight - though maybe not, given Brokeback Mountain.

And Old English Leather speaks for itself.

I'm not a slave to Old Spice. I do use other brands.  But of course 'All My Men Wear English Leather...."

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

I will say it was a really nice date. It was interesting. We met at the bar. He almost immediately kissed me (out in public). And I'm not talking about just a peck on the cheek. Of course it was a gay bar. Pretty dark on the inside. 
 

The one bad stick up on the date-I wasn't able to top. It's been months. I recently went to my urologist. My T level is like 60. He said he was surprised I was awake. They won't give me supplemental because of a funny area on my prostate by CT. They might if I had a biopsy. But knowing me-I'd be the one to suffer complications from a biopsy. 
 

But we'll see if it leads to a second date. My luck ain't great. But time will tell. 
 

 

 

[+ Charlie]

Wecome back, Gar1eth. 

Given the number of gay men on here who are into "man scent" (pits, feet, ass, etc.), a lack of nice-smelling toiletries is hardly a sign that one is not gay. Many straight men probably buy lots of those toiletries to please their girlfriends--in fact, they may even have received them as gifts from girlfriends.

[Luv2play]

If you have an abnormality on your prostate the first thing to consider is having a PSA test. It’s non invasive except for the taking of a blood sample. 
If your PSA is elevated the doctor will probably recommend a biopsy or doing another PSA after an interval to determine if the number is going higher. If so then definitely a biopsy is called for. 
I was successfully treated for prostate cancer 18 years ago. It is not something you want to mess with. 
Steve McQueen’s son, also an actor, died from it this last week in his early 60’s. I forget the type of cancer his father died from. 

[+ Gar1eth]

11 hours ago, Luv2play said:

If you have an abnormality on your prostate the first thing to consider is having a PSA test. It’s non invasive except for the taking of a blood sample. 
If your PSA is elevated the doctor will probably recommend a biopsy or doing another PSA after an interval to determine if the number is going higher. If so then definitely a biopsy is called for. 
I was successfully treated for prostate cancer 18 years ago. It is not something you want to mess with. 
Steve McQueen’s son, also an actor, died from it this last week in his early 60’s. I forget the type of cancer his father died from. 

This is a long and boring  history of my prostate problems. Feel free to skip it if you like.
 

I appreciate the concern, but at least currently I think I'm ok.
 

I didn't go into this before -but I have a long history of chronic prostatitis/chronic pelvic pain syndrome. It started in my early 30's-pain enough to drive me to tears. It doesn't bother me much anymore but I get minor symptoms occasionally. 

I  relate that as  background.  More recently-2 or 3 years ago-the urologist found out my testosterone was low. So I started on replacement. Apparently replacing testosterone can increase your  PSA. Mine had been normal before. But mine went up really high with the replacement-more than he was used to seeing.  While the collected wisdom at the moment is that testosterone replacement-keeping testosterone in the normal range-does not cause prostate cancer (who knows this could change at some point) but that if prostate cancer is  present, testosterone therapy can make it much worse  

The urologist sent off a lab test which determines overall risk of prostate cancer. It took several factors into consideration including family history (my Dad had prostate cancer). He thought it was going to turn out that the test would show I had low risk for prostate cancer.
 

Well it didn't. I can't remember the exact result. But it said something like I had moderate risk of developing prostate cancer. All this with a normal prostate exam. 
 

The doctor stopped my testosterone. And he sent me to a cancer specialist at the local medical school. The cancer specialist ordered a prostate MRI. If the MRI were normal, I could restart testosterone.
 

Now there are two ways of doing the MRI. Some places use a probe-which is inserted -you probably can guess. Other places can do it without  the probe. 
 

Southwestern Medical School where I am uses the probe. And for those who don't know-MRI exams are not quick. So the probe would have been inserted for a fairly long period of time. I talked about all this on here at the time I was about to get the MRI about a year or so ago. 
 

I should also probably tell y'all that the thought of having to bottom was one (among many issues) that kept me from wanting to be gay and a virgin until I was 41. And I've still never bottomed and don't want to. I have a phobia against it. 
 

I don't often tell my physicians I'm gay. In most of my contacts it's unnecessary knowledge. I go to a PrEP Clinic for my PrEP.  But I told the cancer urologist I was gay but that I could not tolerate having an anal probe for the MRI. He ordered the MRI without the probe-thank G-d. I would have had to be anesthetized for it, if he had said the probe was necessary. And they would never have done that. 
 

So the MRI came back with an area of abnormality which could be due to inflammation or I guess cancer.  But off testosterone my PSA was normal and again so was my exam. The cancer doc wouldn't put me back on without a biopsy. But he was fine since the PSA and physical exam were normal off testosterone not to do the biopsy if I stayed off the testosterone. 
 

 Now we come to current news. I was about a year overdue for an urology appt. I was supposed to have one last September/October.  But I was in recovery from a hernia repair operation and let it get away from me.
 

I finally made  an appt with my old urologist-the non cancer specialist. In the meantime my ED which was occasional had gotten worse. I haven't probably topped anyone successfully since last December. (Due to circumstances I've only tried 2 or three times)

The urologist sent off testosterone and other labs.  The testosterone was I believe in the 60's-low end of normal is 200.  The urologist said, "I'm surprised you're awake with that low a level."  The other labs were normal.

He also sent off a PSA.  It was totally normal too  -about 1.5 as I recall.  My prostate exam was normal too  -no nodules palpable.  So if I do have prostate cancer, it's very small and seems to be slow growing -and at least currently would be the kind that men eventually die with prostate cancer rather than because of prostate cancer.

I've heard they say that if you live long enough, all men would develop prostate cancer at some point. The majority, as I said above, dying having prostate cancer but not dying from prostate cancer.

So now the next step is to reschedule with the cancer urologist to talk about my ED, laughably low testosterone, and my options.  I have a sneaking suspicion a biopsy is in my near future. But I'll cross (or avoid) that bridge when I get there

And darn it you'd think with my T level being so low-maybe I wouldn't be as bald as I am.  But nope apparently even the little bit of testosterone I have is enough to make DHT and keep me bald  

 

Gman

 

[+ Pensant]

I have an embarrassingly gay toilette.

[+ sync]

10 hours ago, Gar1eth said:

This is a long and boring  history of my prostate problems. Feel free to skip it if you like.
 

I appreciate the concern, but at least currently I think I'm ok.
 

I didn't go into this before -but I have a long history of chronic prostatitis/chronic pelvic pain syndrome. It started in my early 30's-pain enough to drive me to tears. It doesn't bother me much anymore but I get minor symptoms occasionally. 

I  relate that as  background.  More recently-2 or 3 years ago-the urologist found out my testosterone was low. So I started on replacement. Apparently replacing testosterone can increase your  PSA. Mine had been normal before. But mine went up really high with the replacement-more than he was used to seeing.  While the collected wisdom at the moment is that testosterone replacement-keeping testosterone in the normal range-does not cause prostate cancer (who knows this could change at some point) but that if prostate cancer is  present, testosterone therapy can make it much worse  

The urologist sent off a lab test which determines overall risk of prostate cancer. It took several factors into consideration including family history (my Dad had prostate cancer). He thought it was going to turn out that the test would show I had low risk for prostate cancer.
 

Well it didn't. I can't remember the exact result. But it said something like I had moderate risk of developing prostate cancer. All this with a normal prostate exam. 
 

The doctor stopped my testosterone. And he sent me to a cancer specialist at the local medical school. The cancer specialist ordered a prostate MRI. If the MRI were normal, I could restart testosterone.
 

Now there are two ways of doing the MRI. Some places use a probe-which is inserted -you probably can guess. Other places can do it without  the probe. 
 

Southwestern Medical School where I am uses the probe. And for those who don't know-MRI exams are not quick. So the probe would have been inserted for a fairly long period of time. I talked about all this on here at the time I was about to get the MRI about a year or so ago. 
 

I should also probably tell y'all that the thought of having to bottom was one (among many issues) that kept me from wanting to be gay and a virgin until I was 41. And I've still never bottomed and don't want to. I have a phobia against it. 
 

I don't often tell my physicians I'm gay. In most of my contacts it's unnecessary knowledge. I go to a PrEP Clinic for my PrEP.  But I told the cancer urologist I was gay but that I could not tolerate having an anal probe for the MRI. He ordered the MRI without the probe-thank G-d. I would have had to be anesthetized for it, if he had said the probe was necessary. And they would never have done that. 
 

So the MRI came back with an area of abnormality which could be due to inflammation or I guess cancer.  But off testosterone my PSA was normal and again so was my exam. The cancer doc wouldn't put me back on without a biopsy. But he was fine since the PSA and physical exam were normal off testosterone not to do the biopsy if I stayed off the testosterone. 
 

 Now we come to current news. I was about a year overdue for an urology appt. I was supposed to have one last September/October.  But I was in recovery from a hernia repair operation and let it get away from me.
 

I finally made  an appt with my old urologist-the non cancer specialist. In the meantime my ED which was occasional had gotten worse. I haven't probably topped anyone successfully since last December. (Due to circumstances I've only tried 2 or three times)

The urologist sent off testosterone and other labs.  The testosterone was I believe in the 60's-low end of normal is 200.  The urologist said, "I'm surprised you're awake with that low a level."  The other labs were normal.

He also sent off a PSA.  It was totally normal too  -about 1.5 as I recall.  My prostate exam was normal too  -no nodules palpable.  So if I do have prostate cancer, it's very small and seems to be slow growing -and at least currently would be the kind that men eventually die with prostate cancer rather than because of prostate cancer.

I've heard they say that if you live long enough, all men would develop prostate cancer at some point. The majority, as I said above, dying having prostate cancer but not dying from prostate cancer.

So now the next step is to reschedule with the cancer urologist to talk about my ED, laughably low testosterone, and my options.  I have a sneaking suspicion a biopsy is in my near future. But I'll cross (or avoid) that bridge when I get there

And darn it you'd think with my T level being so low-maybe I wouldn't be as bald as I am.  But nope apparently even the little bit of testosterone I have is enough to make DHT and keep me bald  

 

Gman

 

Your post has me counting my blessings.  The resolve and positive determination you have are beyond admirable.  

[MscleLovr]

Welcome back @Gar1eth It’s always good to read your posts.

I have a reasonable range of toiletries, including cologne. I have 3 particular scents and choose 1 to ‘wear’ before before going out.

I feel you’re not gay because you wrote “rarely, if ever, cologne but haven't used any in awhile. I never used it consistently even when I was young. And I always hated the way the aroma would stay in my nose for hours.”

You obviously haven’t been  advised by a nice muscled young man on how to use cologne. There are 2 different ways. When you’re naked and fresh from the shower: either you can spray it into the air close to your body and walk into it or you can apply it directly, spraying your pecs and near your neck.
You NEVER spray it into your nose - it’s not a decongestant. 😎

[SoCalBaseball]

From what I’ve noticed, people who work with their image, whether in escorting, entertainment, fashion, or any profession they are constantly being evaluated by their looks, even bosses who are in front of the camera or articles, they have to take much more care of their appearance than people who don’t. See people making fun of elon sometimes. Zuckerberg changing his looks. It's not just about looking sexy desirable presentable; it's about maintaining that certain standard or appeal that aligns with the presence they want to project to clients or etc. Their physical appearance becomes a big part of their personal and professional identity, sometimes people change though. everything from their hairstyle, clothing choices, and skincare to their overall demeanor needs care depending on someone’s job.

 

[+ JamesB]

If the number of toiletries is somehow a measure of gayness, then I must be off the charts!

[+ Gar1eth]

On 9/21/2024 at 11:38 AM, MscleLovr said:

 

You obviously haven’t been  advised by a nice muscled young man on how to use cologne.

𝑶𝒉 𝒊𝒇 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚!!There are 2 different ways. When you’re naked and fresh from the shower: either you can spray it into the air close to your body and walk into it or you can apply it directly, spraying your pecs and near your neck.
You NEVER spray it into your nose - it’s not a decongestant. 
******
 

 

Just as an FYI-I don't spray it into my nose. A small amount on my hands then rubbing liquid onto my face. But the smell lingers in my nostrils for hours. 😢😢

 

Gman

Edited September 23, 2024 by Gar1eth

[misterhumphries]

On 9/20/2024 at 1:22 AM, Gar1eth said:

Let me expound a bit. First did anyone notice that pigs and donkeys were flying last night? I was the cause. I had a -well I guess it was a hook-up. We did meet (planned) at  a bar first and had a drink. That was followed by us going to his house. Considering the meetup at the bar,  maybe it was just a date on hyperspeed. 
 

But to get back to the topic at hand... as I was cleaning up after, I asked to use his bathroom. While in there, I wasn't really snooping. But I wasn't wearing my glasses. On top of that I've developed cataracts and haven't had a chance for surgery yet. I walk around in a bit of a visual haze even with glasses on. (If I drive at night-which I try not to-G-d really is my co-pilot). 
 

While trying to find the soap to wash my hands I came across several personal grooming  toiletries -much more than I have. (I have to add that I came across his aftershave/cologne, and he smelled great!!)

Let me tell you what I have in the way of toiletries in my bathroom. 
1) 1 Bar of Irish Spring Soap

2) 1 Bottle of Irish Spring 3 Way Body Wash 

3) 1 Old Spice Antiperspirant/Antideoderant Stick 

Aside from some shaving things-that's pretty much all I have.,,,

Gman

The stereotype that if man has scores of personal care products, he must be gay is so tired! I thought that we'd (as a society) advanced beyond trying to pigeonhole a person based on his hobbies, preferences, or habits. If a man is gay, he's gay even if he never engages in gay sex. A gay man can have anything under the sun in his person care arsenal. Then again, there are the basic types of gay men who eschew colognes of any kind and whose interest in personal care doesn't extend beyond the offerings in Walmart or HEB. It's all fine.

[misterhumphries]

On 9/20/2024 at 10:08 AM, Gar1eth said:

yech!!

That's so true. 
 

Well not like 20 years or something. I think he's in his 50's. 

 

 

I'm not a slave to Old Spice. I do use other brands.  But of course 'All My Men Wear English Leather...."

Gman

Don't forget Hai Karate and Brut! Gotta stick with the classics!

[+ poolboy48220]

My swim coach used British Sterling.  A lot of it.  The scent still takes me back to high school.

[KrisParr]

The best escort I ever hired (for numerous romps) introduced me to CK’s Obsession- later he switched to L’eau D’Issey - I can still remember …