Sharing pictures/stats with providers as a courtesy

[Boaxxx]

I'm wondering if others share unsolicited pictures and stats with their provider prior to meeting. I always do and I do it out of common courtesy, thinking it is only fair that if I know what the provider looks like along with their stats, then they should know what I look like and my stats.  

I have never had a provider ask for pictures/stats yet I always provide prior to meeting. 

Edited May 20, 2024 by Boaxxx

[NYXboy]

I think this is good practice and I do as well. 

[aiseeya]

I have picture on my whatsapp app, so rarely been asked to provide more. Nevertheless, would provide so if asked.

[56harrisond]

 

[Boaxxx]

1 hour ago, 56harrisond said:

 

Thanks for providing me with your search results but my question is a little different. I'm simply wondering if guys are sharing pictures out of a "courtesy", not because a provider is asking. I've never had a provider ask, I simply send pictures so they know who will be knocking at their door. Why should it be a total surprise for the provider? It's nice for the provider to know who they are expecting IMHO.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

3 hours ago, Boaxxx said:

I simply send pictures so they know who will be knocking at their door. Why should it be a total surprise for the provider? It's nice for the provider to know who they are expecting IMHO.

Same here. I think it's odd to expect anyone to show up at your door or let you into their home sight unseen. 

[Simon Suraci]

3 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Same here. I think it's odd to expect anyone to show up at your door or let you into their home sight unseen. 

I don’t think so. Clients hire us for privacy, relative anonymity, and for us to not care what the client looks like but to service him anyway. That’s part of the inherent value of hiring; not having to appeal to another person’s tastes and preferences, particularly with regard to the way you look. This dynamic may be weird in other contexts but totally normal for this one. We providers are used to it. 

Imperfect as the comparison may be, I might hire a therapist in some small part based on the way they look in their photos. Are they inviting, compassionate, and open, or closed, judgmental, and creepy? They have never seen me before but I hire their services and show up sight unseen, and their job is to help me with some rather personal, emotional, and intimate aspects of my life. In that limited way, hiring a therapist is somewhat adjacent to hiring a provider. I can’t imagine feeling compelled to send my therapist a photo of myself before our first meeting. 

Sending a photo is a nice courtesy, and I welcome it, mostly just to help me remember the client better and to add to their contact as a quick reference along with my notes. 

More often than not a client expects us to offer some commentary or react to the way they look. He wants validation, but there is no good way for us to give it to him. No matter what we say, we can’t win:

1) We say something positive. You assume we’re not genuine.

2) We say something positive. You believe we are genuine. You might conclude we lack professionalism because we’re meeting with you for the wrong reasons.

3) We say something vague, neutral, or even negative about the way you look. You assume the worst about us and how the meeting will go. Perhaps you cancel because of it.

So…that leaves only one reasonable option: say nothing about the way the client looks. Consider this when you send a photo. Expect your provider to say nothing. When he says nothing, would you still want to send it? If yes, you’re sending for the right reason. Conversely, are you feeling disappointed that your provider does not comment on your looks? Then you’re sending photos for the wrong reasons.

Our work is very different from other businesses in many respects, and the client is hiring us based on many factors, including in large part based on the way we look, both above and below the neck. This business has unique norms and expectations on both sides of hiring, but it’s a business nonetheless. I don’t find seeing clients sight unseen to be at all weird given the specific context.

This topic brings to mind hookups and how different they are to hiring. Yet even there, context matters. Looks are very important for most hookup situations, or even a date. You need mutual interest and attraction for both parties to agree to meet. Not always though. I suppose it depends on what you want. “I’m ass up, face down, in a dark/dim room and I want your anonymous load. Come in through my unlocked door at: [insert location and other details here].” Sometimes what the other person looks like is immaterial. Meeting sight unseen is not weird in a context like this one.

[pubic_assistance]

15 hours ago, Boaxxx said:

I'm wondering if others share unsolicited pictures and stats with their provider prior to meeting. 

I always provide stats. But only share photos when requested. 

[+ JamesB]

I only share my age when contacting a provider, and I started doing this only a few years ago due to a little incident.

[+ Axiom2001]

16 hours ago, Boaxxx said:

I'm wondering if others share unsolicited pictures and stats with their provider prior to meeting. I always do and I do it out of common courtesy, thinking it is only fair that if I know what the provider looks like along with their stats, then they should know what I look like and my stats.  

I have never had a provider ask for pictures/stats yet I always provide prior to meeting. 

I'm a veteran here, and in all of the years that I've engaged the services of escorts worldwide, I have never shared any photos or stats.  The few who've asked for photos received only a reply from me and were satisfied with that feedback.  

Guess this is a practice now during the 21st century and the advent of the cell phone.  

Two years ago, an escort sent me two unsolicited photos of himself via his cell phone after we'd agreed to meet each other.

[ShortCutie7]

I’d think a description of yourself would be sufficient so that there’s some amount of familiarity that the person the escort is meeting is the one who contacted him, as well as to alert the escort to anything major that could be a dealbreaker (ie I think it’s important that he knows how short I am).

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, Simon Suraci said:

More often than not a client expects us to offer some commentary or react to the way they look. He wants validation, but there is no good way for us to give it to him. No matter what we say, we can’t win:

1) We say something positive. You assume we’re not genuine.

2) We say something positive. You believe we are genuine. You might conclude we lack professionalism because we’re meeting with you for the wrong reasons.

3) We say something vague, neutral, or even negative about the way you look. You assume the worst about us and how the meeting will go. Perhaps you cancel because of it.

So…that leaves only one reasonable option: say nothing about the way the client looks. Consider this when you send a photo. Expect your provider to say nothing. When he says nothing, would you still want to send it? If yes, you’re sending for the right reason. Conversely, are you feeling disappointed that your provider does not comment on your looks? Then you’re sending photos for the wrong reasons.

Since you're a provider, I will take your word for your experience. I do not expect a provider to comment on my appearance. I'm just letting them know what I look like so when I buzz their apartment, they'll know it's me and not the Amazon delivery guy. 

Based on many regular posters here, your first concern about people assuming a complimentary provider is disingenuous seems very real. I'm not an ego maniac but I'm very confident that I am conventionally attractive. The second concern seems odd because I don't think someone genuinely complimenting a potential client is unprofessional. If a hairdresser said, "Wow, you have very thick hair", I'd think that was nice but also irrelevant. 

Regarding your third concern, I think the best response would be, "Thanks for sharing the photo; I look forward to meeting you." 

But it does seem that some people on here are convinced that you and other providers are disgusted by most of your clients. No provider can win over someone with that mindset. 

[+ Jamie21]

I really don’t need or want clients to send me pictures. I kind of like the surprise when I open the door. When someone turns up I’d not mistake them for Amazon or a pizza delivery guy. The former tends to dump his parcel outside and if I mistook the latter then it would be a great porn scene wouldn’t it?  🙂

Seriously though, if it makes a client feel better to send a pic then I’m not going to refuse it…but I won’t comment on it. I just say thanks. 

 

[Lohengrin1979]

When I was much heavier, I always shared stats with prospective providers. I am tall and used to weigh well north of 300. I would state this when booking so that my providers, mostly masseurs, could let me know if their table couldn’t accommodate me or if they were unwilling/unable to work on someone of that size.

I’ve never sent a photo. I just don’t see the point.

[Boaxxx]

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I don’t think so. Clients hire us for privacy, relative anonymity, and for us to not care what the client looks like but to service him anyway. That’s part of the inherent value of hiring; not having to appeal to another person’s tastes and preferences, particularly with regard to the way you look. This dynamic may be weird in other contexts but totally normal for this one. We providers are used to it. 

Imperfect as the comparison may be, I might hire a therapist in some small part based on the way they look in their photos. Are they inviting, compassionate, and open, or closed, judgmental, and creepy? They have never seen me before but I hire their services and show up sight unseen, and their job is to help me with some rather personal, emotional, and intimate aspects of my life. In that limited way, hiring a therapist is somewhat adjacent to hiring a provider. I can’t imagine feeling compelled to send my therapist a photo of myself before our first meeting. 

Sending a photo is a nice courtesy, and I welcome it, mostly just to help me remember the client better and to add to their contact as a quick reference along with my notes. 

More often than not a client expects us to offer some commentary or react to the way they look. He wants validation, but there is no good way for us to give it to him. No matter what we say, we can’t win:

1) We say something positive. You assume we’re not genuine.

2) We say something positive. You believe we are genuine. You might conclude we lack professionalism because we’re meeting with you for the wrong reasons.

3) We say something vague, neutral, or even negative about the way you look. You assume the worst about us and how the meeting will go. Perhaps you cancel because of it.

So…that leaves only one reasonable option: say nothing about the way the client looks. Consider this when you send a photo. Expect your provider to say nothing. When he says nothing, would you still want to send it? If yes, you’re sending for the right reason. Conversely, are you feeling disappointed that your provider does not comment on your looks? Then you’re sending photos for the wrong reasons.

Our work is very different from other businesses in many respects, and the client is hiring us based on many factors, including in large part based on the way we look, both above and below the neck. This business has unique norms and expectations on both sides of hiring, but it’s a business nonetheless. I don’t find seeing clients sight unseen to be at all weird given the specific context.

This topic brings to mind hookups and how different they are to hiring. Yet even there, context matters. Looks are very important for most hookup situations, or even a date. You need mutual interest and attraction for both parties to agree to meet. Not always though. I suppose it depends on what you want. “I’m ass up, face down, in a dark/dim room and I want your anonymous load. Come in through my unlocked door at: [insert location and other details here].” Sometimes what the other person looks like is immaterial. Meeting sight unseen is not weird in a context like this one.

I see where you are coming from as a provider. Again, I personally just feel that if I've seen you in various degrees of undress the least I can do is send you a "g" rates picture and provide general stats - age, height and weight.

As far as anticipating a response, other than thanks, I am not looking for some positive reinforcement on my looks. I just want the provider to know that I am 60, 5'2" and 145 and they can do whatever they want with that information. 😉

[Boaxxx]

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

I really don’t need or want clients to send me pictures. I kind of like the surprise when I open the door. When someone turns up I’d not mistake them for Amazon or a pizza delivery guy. The former tends to dump his parcel outside and if I mistook the latter then it would be a great porn scene wouldn’t it?  🙂

Seriously though, if it makes a client feel better to send a pic then I’m not going to refuse it…but I won’t comment on it. I just say thanks. 

 

 

[BuffaloKyle]

I always like to message a provider on rentmen through messenger first so I can invite them to view my client page for all my stats and information on what I like in a session. Saves a lot of time right off the bat. As far as pictures go I prefer to facetime if the provider wishes. Then I can see that they look like their pictures.

Edited May 21, 2024 by BuffaloKyle

[Simon Suraci]

1 hour ago, Boaxxx said:

am not looking for some positive reinforcement on my looks.

Very good. You’re sending a photo and/or stats for the right reasons, then.

[Your Man in Arlington]

7 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

More often than not a client expects us to offer some commentary or react to the way they look. He wants validation, but there is no good way for us to give it to him.

This is why I don't preemptively share a photo (or photos) with a provider, I don't want to put them in the position where they have to comment on my appearance.

I have sent them to a couple of providers who requested them. Both of them had very complete public profiles, and politely asked after some conversation. One didn't comment and the other told me I was handsome, which is probably accurate, and a nice way of describing a someone a couple of decades his senior.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

22 hours ago, Boaxxx said:

I'm wondering if others share unsolicited pictures and stats with their provider prior to meeting. I always do and I do it out of common courtesy, thinking it is only fair that if I know what the provider looks like along with their stats, then they should know what I look like and my stats.  

I have never had a provider ask for pictures/stats yet I always provide prior to meeting. 

#MeToo

I like to get them horny, knowing what they're going to get when they see me 😉

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

6 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

I’d think a description of yourself would be sufficient so that there’s some amount of familiarity that the person the escort is meeting is the one who contacted him, as well as to alert the escort to anything major that could be a dealbreaker (ie I think it’s important that he knows how short I am).

It's always good to let the provider know whom to expect so he's not confused.

For example: "When you ring the doorbell and the door opens, I will be the one standing there naked"

[+ Pensant]

16 hours ago, JamesB said:

I only share my age when contacting a provider, and I started doing this only a few years ago due to a little incident.

I’ve rarely been asked my age. Since I look younger than my chronological age, I never volunteer it.

[+ JamesB]

13 minutes ago, Pensant said:

I’ve rarely been asked my age. Since I look younger than my chronological age, I never volunteer it.

I do look good for my age as well and I don’t remember ever being asked but like I said, I only started volunteering this information only a few years ago due to a little incident.

[cany10011]

I always provide stats as well as what I'm looking for.  I would say 90% of guys I hire do not ask for pics. Sometimes if it's someone I really want to meet, I'll send a pic proactively. 

[+ ThroatCummer]

Providers who ask or even require a pic to meet are iffy in my book. I find many of those types are just monetizing their sex lives and want to look for a way to turn someone down who isn't attractive to them.

As for sharing a picture of myself, I do so almost always. It's a way to humanize myself to them and at least give them an idea of who will show up at their door or what to expect. I'm not looking for validation or a comment and generally state something along those lines.

Taking it another step, I have a 'client' profile on RM that has my stats, a couple of G/PG photos, my "intos", and some text of what I like and get into. It also shows the reviews I have left for other providers.

Why?  It helps to let them know I am serious and have hired before and I am not a time waster.

That's key.