Sex After 20 Years Living Together

[edinbrooklyn]

I have a girlfriend who swears it never happens. But there are a lot of anecdotes to the contrary. I’d love to get the group’s input.

[+ nycman]

Get new friends. 

[Rudynate]

Of course it happens - i  know for a fact.

 

[ShortCutie7]

My grandparents were having sex in their 80s after over 60 years of marriage!  

[+ Charlie]

What is this "sex" of which you speak?

[pubic_assistance]

I remember hearing my parents having sex while I was visiting for a holiday. I was 30...so...the flame was still burning.

My wife and I have been living together for 18 years. The frequency of our sex life is much lower but not non-existent. I think the fact that we both hook up with other people prevents it from feeling monotonous.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

5 hours ago, edinbrooklyn said:

I have a girlfriend who swears it never happens. But there are a lot of anecdotes to the contrary. I’d love to get the group’s input.

According to Mrs. White from Clue...

[edinbrooklyn]

26 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

According to Mrs. White from Clue...

Funny. Very. But I’m not married. I would love to have a frank, honest exchange on this.

[liubit]

6 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

My wife and I have been living together for 18 years. The frequency of our sex life is much lower but not non-existent. I think the fact that we both hook up with other people prevents it from feeling monotonous.

That is exactly the case with my husband (living together for 20+ years, married for 3): infrequent sex together, but many sexcapades. We don’t do 3-ways, we play separately, and most certainly “kiss and tell”. We have even hired simultaneously in contiguous rooms.

Edited May 2, 2024 by liubit

[Muscleking]

My wife and I have been married 25 years, we used to have a lot of fun specifically with other couples when we were younger but after our daughter we haven’t done any of that.. sex life is still there but not as much so I get off often with masseur or escorts. We have recently considered hiring someone together tho. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I remain convinced that humans aren't designed to be monogamous.

[edinbrooklyn]

5 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I remain convinced that humans aren't designed to be monogamous.

I think you are correct.

[ShortCutie7]

2 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I remain convinced that humans aren't designed to be monogamous.

The vast majority of humans… 1000%

[pubic_assistance]

6 hours ago, Muscleking said:

My wife and I have been married 25 years, we used to have a lot of fun specifically with other couples when we were younger but after our daughter we haven’t done any of that.. sex life is still there but not as much so I get off often with masseur or escorts.

Same here. My wife ( former college friend ) and I were pretty wild in our college days and in through our early 20s.

Once we married and had kids, we felt the need to act like responsible adults. So... somehow watching your wife get spit-roasted by two other men in a sex dungeon just doesn't seem to fit the "mommy&me" image we feel compelled to provide for our children. 🤣

Edited May 2, 2024 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[edinbrooklyn]

4 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Same here. My wife ( former college friend ) and I were pretty wild in our college days and in through our early 20s.

Once we married an had kids, we felt the need to act like responsible adults. So... somehow watching your wife get spit-roasted by two other men in a sex dungeon just doesn't seem to fit the "mommy&me" image we feel compelled to provide for our children. 🤣

Where is this dungeon of which you speak!

[pubic_assistance]

7 minutes ago, edinbrooklyn said:

Where is this dungeon of which you speak!

There are sex dungeons all over New York City.

[Danny-Darko]

38 minutes ago, edinbrooklyn said:

Where is this dungeon of which you speak!

You've must have at least heard of Swingers Clubs and Swinger's Parties ie. "The Life-Style" community?! They cater to heterosexual couples! 

[pubic_assistance]

1 minute ago, Danny-Darko said:

You've must have at least heard of Swingers Clubs and Swinger's Parties ie. "The Life-Style" community?! They cater to heterosexual couples! 

Le Trapeze used to attract a lot of heterosexual couples who ( like my wife and me ) weren't entirely hetero. Had some fun times there. ( Many moons ago )

[+ sniper]

I think the reality is that a fair fraction of women post having children really do simply lose interest in sex, whether due to stress levels or something hormonal.   A masseur friend tells me no small part of his business is men who love their wives but have settled on letting a masseur get them off without reciprocation as their sexual outlet.

[pubic_assistance]

7 hours ago, sniper said:

no small part of his business is men who love their wives but have settled on letting a masseur get them off without reciprocation as their sexual outlet.

Bingo.

This is why all this talk of kissing 💋 providers is always lost on me.

I just wanna get off.

It's very possible to be happily married but unsatisfied with the frequency of your sex life at home.

[Boygeorge]

On 5/4/2024 at 9:59 PM, pubic_assistance said:

Bingo.

This is why all this talk of kissing 💋 providers is always lost on me.

I just wanna get off.

It's very possible to be happily married but unsatisfied with the frequency of your sex life at home.

men need numerous sex affair! I do! I NEED SEX

 

[moonlight]

Lots of references to remaining married while sleeping around in this thread so I feel compelled to ask:

Is there any part of you that worries your partner will fall in love with a sex partner? How do you manage that? Apparently it's something that a lot of people have figured out but I don't really understand. I'm especially curious about this for younger couples for whom the future holds more possibilities. Maybe it's something that becomes less of a worry with age.

[+ Lucky]

Fidelity not monogamy.

10 hours ago, moonlight said:

Lots of references to remaining married while sleeping around in this thread so I feel compelled to ask:

Is there any part of you that worries your partner will fall in love with a sex partner? How do you manage that? Apparently it's something that a lot of people have figured out but I don't really understand. I'm especially curious about this for younger couples for whom the future holds more possibilities. Maybe it's something that becomes less of a worry with age.

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

5 hours ago, Lucky said:

Fidelity not monogamy.

 

Monogamy is an outdated construct. 

It's also my favorite Diana Ross film. 

[pubic_assistance]

19 hours ago, moonlight said:

Is there any part of you that worries your partner will fall in love with a sex partner?

Mature people with a history of multiple sexual partners are far less likely to experience the "fall in love" feeling after hot sex.

Eventually your "in love" experience is based on layers of feelings that don't have anything to do with sex.