Unwritten "roommate" rule?

[DWnyc]

On 4/15/2024 at 9:33 PM, Vegas_Millennial said:

I take the opposite approach.  I tell all my escorts/masseurs/hookups to "close the door so my upstairs roommate won't be disturbed", even when I have no roommates in the house.  For my safety, I like having them think someone else is in the house.

I can spot that technique a mile off. I also use it frequently 😉

[+ APPLE1]

On 4/15/2024 at 8:33 PM, Vegas_Millennial said:

For my safety, I like having them think someone else is in the house.

I guess I should count myself lucky, because I have never had a fear for my safety with a provider, or a trick. I understand that some may say I am simply naive.

I certainly am not diminishing anyone's concerns or actions in regard to safety. But I must say, walking into a situation unencumbered, with only personal gratification on my mind, is a beautiful thing!

Edited April 21, 2024 by APPLE1

[rvwnsd]

Yes, OP should have informed the provider that his roommate would be present. A simple "Oh, by the way, my roommate might be home. Don't worry, we are OK with each other having guests." is really all one has to say. No need to be explicit and emphatic. That said, the provider could have handled the situation more gracefully. 

14 hours ago, BuffaloKyle said:

I'm highly allergic to cats and dogs so I always ask if someone has a pet on the rare occasion I'm not hosting or going to a hotel to meet a provider. If someone ever shows up either as a client or provider to your place and you have a pet it's nice to mention it but it should be on them to ask if they are that allergic like I am. Never let them make it seem like your fault for not mentioning it.

I have two cats and ALWAYS tell providers about them 1) in case they are allergic and 2) in case small furry creatures darting out of the way might freak them out. 2) rarely happens because the minute an interloper comes into my place one goes under the sofa and the other goes into the closet. However, a guy who is becoming a regular did have an encounter with one of the boys that scared the begeebers out of him. He was about to take a shower and I was adjusting the water for him. Unknown to me, one of the cats was in the bathtub and ran out when I opened the curtain. In the cat's haste to leave he wrapped his tail around the guy's leg, which startled the guy. Turns out when the guy was a little kid he was fishing, and a snake wrapped itself around his leg. Ever since, he has been afraid of snakes. His first, admittedly irrational, reaction was to think the cat's tail was a snake. 

After the shower they made amends, and he ended up grabbing the stick toy and started playing with the cat.

[+ DrownedBoy]

16 hours ago, urbanfetish said:

Another time, the masseur informed me ahead of time that his landlord was in the house (he rented a bedroom) and he said he told the landlord that I was just a Grindr hook up, not a client

I and my regulars use that technique too in my condo building, passing them off as Grindr hookups. Gay or straight, they just nod and leave me alone.

Some of them actually are Grindr hookups; luckily, nobody has grilled me on the differences in appearance and age between the hookups and the hires.

[DWnyc]

On 4/20/2024 at 11:20 PM, APPLE1 said:

I guess I should count myself lucky, because I have never had a fear for my safety with a provider, or a trick. I understand that some may say I am simply naive.

I certainly am not diminishing anyone's concerns or actions in regard to safety. But I must say, walking into a situation unencumbered, with only personal gratification on my mind, is a beautiful thing!

More than once I’ve found a surprise guest. More than once I’ve had the offer they stay, for a fee. On two occasions I had reason to leave before the session was over and was nervous for more than a split second about being outnumbered in a situation I wouldn’t want the world to know about. 

[cany10011]

On 4/14/2024 at 11:56 AM, DrownedBoy said:

I had a provider who, right after coming in, suddenly started saying, "Is there anybody else here?" and opening the door to my bedroom, etc., that's off limits to providers.

Entitled little brat - I told him to stop immediately, and after that he's off my list forever.

Asking is one thing; intrusion is another.

I guess something happened in his past that has made him wary. One of my regulars (3 years) still refuses to drink any I offer him. I just take it as a quirk. I never push it again or ask him after the first year... even though it may be freezing cold or blazing hot. I just wanted to be hospitable. 

 

[MaybeMaybeNot]

I met my first masseur this weekend. I knew from doing research here that he had a partner at the same address. No sign of the partner when I arrived. Midway though the "massage," the masseur mentions he has a partner who also does massage.  At the end, I asked if I would get to meet him.  The provider called him in, and I got to say hello.  We enjoyed a threeway kiss. It was very nice. 

Oddly enough,  in one of my stories, the narrator discovered his sex partner's husband is home. My experience definitely had a couple moments that mirrored my story. It is very hot in real life.  

[DWnyc]

On 4/23/2024 at 12:42 PM, cany10011 said:

I guess something happened in his past that has made him wary. One of my regulars (3 years) still refuses to drink any I offer him. I just take it as a quirk. I never push it again or ask him after the first year... even though it may be freezing cold or blazing hot. I just wanted to be hospitable. 

 

He may have had a bad experience with the substances that make up the “date r*pe” portfolio. Some have passed out for a few seconds or minutes, others for much longer. And if he had been drinking alcohol before coming to see you the bad effects could be amplified. Not a good idea to push hospitality however sincere.

[cany10011]

13 hours ago, DWnyc said:

He may have had a bad experience with the substances that make up the “date r*pe” portfolio. Some have passed out for a few seconds or minutes, others for much longer. And if he had been drinking alcohol before coming to see you the bad effects could be amplified. Not a good idea to push hospitality however sincere.

Agree. After a few sessions, i stopped offering anything to him. We just get down to business once he enters the door. Whereas others just text me ahead of time and ask me to have a nice bottle of white wine ready for them. 

[DWnyc]

On 4/21/2024 at 2:37 PM, DrownedBoy said:

Some of them actually are Grindr hookups; luckily, nobody has grilled me on the differences in appearance and age between the hookups and the hires.

And as we have often discussed on this forum - Grindr is converging with RM in many ways 😉

[ReynST]

On 4/14/2024 at 1:18 AM, Jamie21 said:

I’ve had this happen. I think I’ve written about it previously but I’ll mention it again here because it’s relevant. ...

I've had almost this exact situation. Young athletic guy with two toddler kids and a woman (presumably his wife, who I didn't encounter but could hear) at home. It was a nude massage in an office and the door was unlocked the entire time.

I could hear the kids moving through the hallway and later playing outside. The dynamics wouldn't impact my life at all, but I had to wonder how the kids would react if they opened the door to show their dad a rock they found and saw him getting teabagged.

... I can only guess it's a regular occurrence

[DunwoodyGuy]

Several months ago, I went to a masseur's house for what was set up to be an erotic massage. The masseur was in his early 30s,  but when I rang the bell, the door was opened by a man who looked to be at least in his 60s, if not older. He was clearly not the masseur in the ad. "Are you here for the massage?" he asked.

I was about to turn and leave when the actual masseur opened a door to a room off the entrance and said, "Oh, come in here." Once the door was shut, he said, "That's my roommate. He owns the house. He likes to know who I'm massaging--is that all right?"

I said yes, but it wasn't. It took me pretty much half the massage--which was otherwise excellent and very sensual--to stop feeling creeped out by the roommate/landlord thinking about me getting one of his roommate/tenant's erotic massages. 

I would have been much more comfortable had the masseur said to me in advance, "Oh, you might run into my roommate. He's cool with my doing massage."   

It was a good massage, but I didn't leave a review on RentMasseur. 

[Whippoorwill]

When I was in my early 30s I had a regular masseur whom I met at his apartment...strictly legit, but only because I didn't know any better. One time when I arrived, his husband answered the street door, wearing only a cock ring. I would have loved a 3-way with those two, but I was too naive at the time to pursue the idea.

A few years later, when I arrived at the apartment of my then-regular masseur/escort, he met me at the door and said "My mother's in the other room, so we have to be quiet". The "other room" was through an archway with a curtain across...no door, much less a lock. We did our usual massage followed by sex, him joining me on the massage table, and him reminding me "shhhh" at the moment of truth so mother wouldn't hear. I thought it was funny at the time..."look what we got away with."

I'm not 30 anymore and today I definitely want to know in advance if there is someone else there. A couple of years ago when I arrived at my then- regular masseur's one-room studio, his newish lover was there, and left when I arrived. The masseur apologized and said it was a one-time occurrence. When I left afterwards, the lover was in the lobby watching me get off the elevator and looking none too pleased. It really irritated me. If the lover had wanted to join in 3-way it would have been a different thing. Somehow, those two worked it out because the lover was never in sight again during massages, I am glad to say.

[BrickBuilder]

If I go to a providers location I now always ask a few questions. 

#1.  Do you have any pets and will they be crated or sequestered.  I have mentioned before I don't have allergies and like both cats and dogs, but not all up and in my business when I am doing my business.

#2.  Will anyone else be in the residence or have access to it.  If the answer is no I proceed with caution.  If the answer is yes, I will the ask question #3.

#3.  Does the room we will be in have an internal lock for us to use?

Once during the massage portion of a massage/play session, I heard a noise I was not expecting. I looked up to see a third unknown person basically picking up my clothes.   Things got extremely awkward and tense.  He's "looking for his keys" was his first response and when I asked how he got into the apartment without them, things fell apart.  I'm not sure I have ever dressed so quickly and darted out of the room.  I had no intention of being robbed or otherwise accosted by either/both of them.  They both tried to brush it off and I said "not so, I am outta here".

When I travel out for an appointment, if driving I will now only take my car's valet key.  I make sure that I carefully fold and stack my clothes in a specific way and set in a location that is not accessible easily from an entry door.   I will hear something if they are moved or shifted through (loose change still has a purpose in this world).  I also ask that any music playing is at a volume that is low enough I can hear extraneous sounds.  I merely say I like "spa volume".

When I host in a hotel, I always try to make a point of locking the door so that the provider knows that no one can get in simply by using a key and I have a location where if they want they can put all of their belongings for their security.

Call me paranoid.  Call me meticulous.  I just prefer to call me careful.

[Njguy2]

Two instances both in Manhattan.  The first was a then somewhat one of my regular masseurs in the theater district.  It wasn't until about the 3rd session he mentioned he had a roommate in the apartment and we'd have to keep any noises low.  Session was great but knowing that there was another person in the apartment at the time was a little unnerving.   Second was a session in soho, first time with this masseur, started the session and in a little while another guy popped out of a bedroom into the massage space (his roommate who also happened to be a masseur).  He moved around the space for a little bit and left.  The massage was a B grade so never went back for another session.    Would have been good to know in both instances the presence of another person prior to the session.  

[afterfallhours1]

One time I met with a provider who said he could host. He said he had class but I could come anyway. When I got there I saw his roommate there too, doing work on his computer. I was going to say hi but he didn't look my way and the guy, whose dick I was going to suck, just led me to his bedroom. He got naked and told me I have to be quick. I was sucking his dick but his professor kept calling him asking if the work could be done now, and the guy just told him to give him a second. After a couple minutes he came on my face, and he was loud. So when I left the room I could tell the roommate felt awkward about it but the guy didn't tell me that, he said it was ok. 

Another time I met with a guy and said he could host but when I was on my way he said his roommate just came in. I told him to get rid of him because I really wanted to fuck this guy. I convinced him to let his roommate leave for a while. The roommate left the door open for me as he was leaving and I was coming in. The guy who I was hooking up with said it was fine. After our session, I left and realized the roommate was standing outside and quickly got in. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

3 hours ago, afterfallhours1 said:

 He got naked and told me I have to be quick. I was sucking his dick but his professor kept calling him asking if the work could be done now, and the guy just told him to give him a second. 

Sounds like one of the cons providers arrange to leave early.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 2/4/2025 at 11:25 AM, afterfallhours1 said:

One time I met with a provider who said he could host. He said he had class but I could come anyway. When I got there I saw his roommate there too, doing work on his computer. I was going to say hi but he didn't look my way and the guy, whose dick I was going to suck, just led me to his bedroom. He got naked and told me I have to be quick. I was sucking his dick but his professor kept calling him asking if the work could be done now, and the guy just told him to give him a second. After a couple minutes he came on my face, and he was loud. So when I left the room I could tell the roommate felt awkward about it but the guy didn't tell me that, he said it was ok. 

Another time I met with a guy and said he could host but when I was on my way he said his roommate just came in. I told him to get rid of him because I really wanted to fuck this guy. I convinced him to let his roommate leave for a while. The roommate left the door open for me as he was leaving and I was coming in. The guy who I was hooking up with said it was fine. After our session, I left and realized the roommate was standing outside and quickly got in. 

That sounds like you got a free public exhibition session!  Hot 🔥 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 4/13/2024 at 9:45 PM, BuffaloKyle said:

...Reverse the situation. Would you be comfortable if you were going to his place and unexpectedly found his roommate there?

If I was going to another man's place to have sex and unexpectedly found his roommate there, I would find that hot. 🔥 

I wouldn't hold back on making noise during orgasm.  The other guy knows his roommate better than I do, so who am I to worry about what is overheard. 

 

[JayCeeKy]

The topic reminds me of a personal experience back in the late 1980s when Santa Monica Blvd. was a smorgasbord of young, hot meat. I  picked up a super sexy Latino guy on the “Boulevard” - he said he had a place to conduct our business nearby. We drove to a large apartment building just off Sunset, took an elevator up a few floors and entered “his” apartment. To my surprise and discomfort there was an entire Latino family of mom, dad, and, what I presumed, were his younger sisters & brother sitting on the floor watching TV. There was even an elderly lady I’m guessing was his “Abuela” sitting in a rocking chair doing her knitting.  I nodded to "the fam" and my "date" and I proceeded to a small bedroom down the hall and did our thing though, as I remember, it was rushed and perfunctory. When we emerged from the bedroom the entire family was seated in the dining room (which we needed to go through to get to the front door) with dinner on the table. The dad nodded to me and asked me if I wanted to stay for dinner - which I sheepishly declined & quickly exited. 45 years later I still wonder what the conversation was like after my departure.