Pushiness about Estimated Time Arrival (E.T.A.) ?

[marylander1940]

Since uber mandatory question of "What's your ETA?'.... I usually walk downtown, and I'm 14 blocks away from the White House. Do escorts have to know a precise ETA? When I say 20 to 30 minutes, they get confused and sometimes annoyed? 

A few days ago, a provider kept me waiting 30 minutes because he was still dining at his room. I patiently waited. After that he jumped in the shower, which added a few more minutes. He was finally ready. I took the elevator of the Grand Hyatt on H street which is an atrium style hotel and after I got out I made the mistake of not reading the directions about where the rooms were, and turned left instead of right which made me walk around the atrium of the hotel to his room. My phone was silent... he kept on texting me "Why it was taking me so long?', it was a 2 minutes delay, that's all. Why are younger folks so pushy with others when it comes to time and so relaxed their own time and the way they treat others? 

[acks0104]

Sounds like it was that provider specifically because if a client is late for a session, that's our own time we're sacrificing. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Yup, that's the reason I don't hire younger escorts anymore.

I recently cancelled an appointment with a Latino boy because he was going to be 90 minutes late.

Even worse, he got huffy with me when I told him I was cancelling, since it "wasn't his fault" he was late (of course, his phone "accidentally" ran out of power while he was lying on the beach). I don't need that, and I'm sure as hell not going to pay for that kind of sh!tty attitude.

After 10 minutes, I ask for an ETA. If it's going to be 30 minutes or longer, time to cancel.

[maninsoma]

Are we to understand that after making you wait 30 minutes past your appointment time that he got irritated with you for taking two extra minutes to get to his room? 

I would have just left and told him I was doing so due to his poor attitude/lack of professionalism.  It sounds like you proceeded with your session.  How was it?  Was he actually focused on your needs and not his once you arrived?

[FrancisCA]

Thats why I hate being late. Sometimes im even 30min earlier than expected.

As for waiting for clients as long as im not busy after their scheudled time, I try not to rush them but if chance I do have to be somewhere their scheduled time is a hard stop

[ICTJOCK]

Communication is key and certainly many ways to get confused.    I agree,  the aim is to be on time and that may mean being early.   A prompt arrival always leaves a good impression on a client.       Conversely,   if the client is late,  I try and be patient and flexible.   

[marylander1940]

3 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

a provider friend once told me if the client is either a) texting several times questioning ETA or b) texting because they are lost - they know it’s not going to be a good appointment.  
 

he's 100% right! 

Pushiness for hookups (paid or free) is never a good sign! 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

On 11/3/2023 at 12:53 AM, DrownedBoy said:

I recently cancelled an appointment with a Latino boy because he was going to be 90 minutes late.

when scheduling, just let the provider know you have plans later & if more than 30 minutes late - then you will cancel.  problem solved

[dcguy20]

I am punctual by nature. I was chided by a masseur when it took me 2 minutes to get from the lobby of his building to his apartment. He was absolutely serious. Needless to say, I no longer see him. I used to see him regularly. 

[soloyo215]

On 11/2/2023 at 2:40 PM, marylander1940 said:

Why are younger folks so pushy with others when it comes to time and so relaxed their own time and the way they treat others? 

The younger generation's way of thinking is the result of parents from our generation telling them that they deserve everything good and nothing bad. That has translated into self-entitlement, self-centeredness, and attention seeking. It's not that cut and dry, but overall, culturally speaking, that's what we can normally expect from them. Additionally, some providers seem to think that because we're the clients and willing to pay them, that we are also willing to wait or put up with whatever nonsense they come up with.

Like others have mentioned, be clear about the scheduling and timing, and cancel if he's not willing to honor your schedule. Of course, within reason, meaning, sometimes there are legitimate reasons for being late.

[+ DrownedBoy]

1 hour ago, soloyo215 said:

The younger generation's way of thinking is the result of parents from our generation telling them that they deserve everything good and nothing bad. 

Yes, I've also seen it translate into a refusal to take responsibility if something beyond your control affects you. The aforementioned late, bitchy Latino was a textbook case of that.

Guess what. I've been late to job interviews because there was a car accident (beyond my control) that stopped traffic. They cancelled the interview and someone else got the job. In real life, it's not an excuse - it means I should have left my place earlier to get there. These kids are going to have to learn life the hard way. In particular, Latinos need to realize that they're living in America's time culture, not Latin America's.

[marylander1940]

Last night I made arrangements to see a provider I've met before just 7 blocks away. I'm at 16th and T NW and he was staying at 11th and U NW.

He asked: "How long will it take you to get here?"

"Whatever it takes me to get dressed and walk 7 blocks" I said to him. I got dressed in less than 2 minutes, walked out of my place and texted him: "I'm on my way at 11:02 PM.

I asked him at 11:04 PM: "What's your apartment number and the code for you to let me in?" 

He replied at 11:05 PM: "Are you here?" I said "NO" and he asked "Are you on Uber?', I once again told him I was walking 7 blocks to get to him. "What's your ETA?". 

I replied: "Are you high?". I had to cancelled, I can't handle this goldfish / microwave mindset they have when it comes to others. I might have overreacted but I had enough. 

[Johnrom]

Younger generation is def over the top with constant texting and often no sense of time. It’s crazy.  If a client is coming to you, the masseur is not running around or inconvenienced.   Just chilling in his room.  I cannot tolerate a lack of common courtesy either. I so appreciate when a younger guy is professional and acts accordingly.  That’s why I prefer to go to respectful masseurs  I have seen previously, rather than  deal with such nonsense. 

[marylander1940]

7 minutes ago, Johnrom said:

Younger generation is def over the top with constant texting and often no sense of time. It’s crazy.  If a client is coming to you, the masseur is not running around or inconvenienced.   Just chilling in his room.  I cannot tolerate a lack of common courtesy either. I so appreciate when a younger guy is professional and acts accordingly.  That’s why I prefer to go to respectful masseurs  I have seen previously, rather than  deal with such nonsense. 

Exactly!

Waiting 10 minutes for an Uber in the middle of the street could be annoying but waiting at home watching TV, chilling, reading emails, is not that bad....

[maninsoma]

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

Last night I made arrangements to see a provider I've met before just 7 blocks away. I'm at 16th and T NW and he was staying at 11th and U NW.

He asked: "How long will it take you to get here?"

"Whatever it takes me to get dressed and walk 7 blocks" I said to him. I got dressed in less than 2 minutes, walked out of my place and texted him: "I'm on my way at 11:02 PM.

I asked him at 11:04 PM: "What's your apartment number and the code for you to let me in?" 

He replied at 11:05 PM: "Are you here?" I said "NO" and he asked "Are you on Uber?', I once again told him I was walking 7 blocks to get to him. "What's your ETA?". 

I replied: "Are you high?". I had to cancelled, I can't handle this goldfish / microwave mindset they have when it comes to others. I might have overreacted but I had enough. 

I'll give the guy the benefit of the doubt in only one respect: maybe he's not familiar with the area and has no idea how long it takes to walk 7 blocks.  According to Google maps it takes 13 minutes, and I suppose you could have just told him that you'd be there in 15 minutes instead of expecting that he would be intelligent enough to figure out how long it would take you to get there.  That being said, you clearly told him you were walking and then he asked if you were taking a ride share, so he apparently isn't an attentive fellow.  I probably wouldn't have asked him if he was high, but I understand the impetus to cancel.

[marylander1940]

1 minute ago, maninsoma said:

I'll give the guy the benefit of the doubt in only one respect: maybe he's not familiar with the area and has no idea how long it takes to walk 7 blocks.  According to Google maps it takes 13 minutes, and I suppose you could have just told him that you'd be there in 15 minutes instead of expecting that he would be intelligent enough to figure out how long it would take you to get there.  That being said, you clearly told him you were walking and then he asked if you were taking a ride share, so he apparently isn't an attentive fellow.  I probably wouldn't have asked him if he was high, but I understand the impetus to cancel.

To be honest with you and as pointed by @Johnrom it was the last straw!

I can't understand this pushiness when it comes to others but taking their time while multitasking in everything they do. 

[BaronArtz]

On 11/2/2023 at 2:40 PM, marylander1940 said:

Since uber mandatory question of "What's your ETA?'.... I usually walk downtown, and I'm 14 blocks away from the White House. Do escorts have to know a precise ETA? When I say 20 to 30 minutes, they get confused and sometimes annoyed? 

A few days ago, a provider kept me waiting 30 minutes because he was still dining at his room. I patiently waited. After that he jumped in the shower, which added a few more minutes. He was finally ready. I took the elevator of the Grand Hyatt on H street which is an atrium style hotel and after I got out I made the mistake of not reading the directions about where the rooms were, and turned left instead of right which made me walk around the atrium of the hotel to his room. My phone was silent... he kept on texting me "Why it was taking me so long?', it was a 2 minutes delay, that's all. Why are younger folks so pushy with others when it comes to time and so relaxed their own time and the way they treat others? 

I would have left.  I am not waiting for 30 minutes unless if there is a really solid reason.

[+ DrownedBoy]

6 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Exactly!

Waiting 10 minutes for an Uber in the middle of the street could be annoying but waiting at home watching TV, chilling, reading emails, is not that bad....

Oh I've had young providers say they're ready for an Uber. Then once it arrives they say they still need 10 minutes. 

The last time someone did thay, I told him if he didn't catch the Uber, the session was cancelled. He got in, then he gave me a shitty attitude because he had a massive ego.

I need more filters on who I hire.

 

[marylander1940]

3 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

Oh I've had young providers say they're ready for an Uber. Then once it arrives they say they still need 10 minutes. 

The last time someone did thay, I told him if he didn't catch the Uber, the session was cancelled. He got in, then he gave me a shitty attitude because he had a massive ego.

I need more filters on who I hire.

 

Picture them in a position of leadership / power! 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

17 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Last night I made arrangements to see a provider I've met before just 7 blocks away. I'm at 16th and T NW and he was staying at 11th and U NW.

He asked: "How long will it take you to get here?"

"Whatever it takes me to get dressed and walk 7 blocks" I said to him. I got dressed in less than 2 minutes, walked out of my place and texted him: "I'm on my way at 11:02 PM.

I asked him at 11:04 PM: "What's your apartment number and the code for you to let me in?" 

He replied at 11:05 PM: "Are you here?" I said "NO" and he asked "Are you on Uber?', I once again told him I was walking 7 blocks to get to him. "What's your ETA?". 

I replied: "Are you high?". I had to cancelled, I can't handle this goldfish / microwave mindset they have when it comes to others. I might have overreacted but I had enough. 

 

Okay, you know I’m going to have to go in on you..so, just put your seat 💺 belt on because I’m about to give it to you straight 😂  

First of all, idk what the conversation was like prior to what you started with. I don’t imagine that it went from getting dressed to “on your way” in such short notice, how much notice did you actually give him? And even if you did get dressed in 2 minutes, that’s not a time frame. Y’all should have set a time frame, and if it was less than 1 hours notice, it’s no wonder it didn’t work out. Clients and escorts need to discard this idea that we can meet at fast as an Uber can arrive: plan ahead and avoid miscommunication. It doesn’t have to be days ahead…just 2 to 4 hours can make a difference.

This is why I stress clearly I require at least 2 hours notice for all bookings. I don’t care if you’re at the hotel room next door to me…or should I say, UNLESS you’re at the hotel room next door to me lol. Even yesterday I had to tell a client: The earliest I can get to you is, two hours from now (would have been 9:30 p.m.). 

Reason why I ask two hours notice is because: it gives time for both people to figure out location and time of arrival. It also limits rushing and leaves time for unexpected time delays. The other day, a client of mine went to the wrong hotel which had a similar room number as mine. Since it was less than two hours notice, he forgot to get the actual name of the hotel 😂 
 

You seemed spur of moment, he seemed unexpected…It was just an unnecessary dumpster fire that could have been avoided.
 

16 hours ago, Johnrom said:

Younger generation is def over the top with constant texting and often no sense of time. It’s crazy.  If a client is coming to you, the masseur is not running around or inconvenienced.   Just chilling in his room.  I cannot tolerate a lack of common courtesy either. I so appreciate when a younger guy is professional and acts accordingly.  That’s why I prefer to go to respectful masseurs  I have seen previously, rather than  deal with such nonsense. 

I don’t think it’s just the young generation. I have seen older guys blow up my phones texting…asking ETA, here yet, etc etc. almost like they’re clutching their phones in anxiety. It doesn’t need to be that way.

When I’m doing non-business hookups, I don’t rush the guy. I just make sure everything is okay and chill if they coming to me. Worked just fine the other night. Sex is a privilege, not a right. Patience is key. It’s funny how people always want it fast when THEY want it, but when I want it: they want to drag it out and take days, weeks, YEARS to return a text. 
 

I often see a common issue where clients try to plan too much other stuff around booking a date, non of which involves the escort: but expects the escort to drop their whole life and rush to their beck. Ah, no. If they can plan this and that and everything else, they can plan time with us too. Not some last minute, spur of the moment, now or never type of interaction..

[Monarchy79]

On 3/21/2024 at 8:39 AM, marylander1940 said:

Last night I made arrangements to see a provider I've met before just 7 blocks away. I'm at 16th and T NW and he was staying at 11th and U NW.

He asked: "How long will it take you to get here?"

"Whatever it takes me to get dressed and walk 7 blocks" I said to him. 

 

You play a significant role in the lack of clarity in confirming an ETA in this scenario. 
 

Why not just set an actual time? 
 

How was this guy supposed to determine what “whatever it takes me to get dressed and walk 7 blocks”, means in terms of time? 
 

 

[Monarchy79]

I think with setting times for various purposes, people have relied more on over communicating useless information. Instead of texting back & forth on an ETA, like it’s a moving target,  Just set a firm time, state that you’ll text them when you either park, or when your Uber drops you off, and you’re done. 
 

Easy sensible example:

”Hey let’s hook up.”

” Cool, your place or mine?”

“Mine? What time is good?” 

“10pm”

”ok. Cool. I’ll text you when I park.” 

9:50pm….

”Hey, I just parked” 

“Cool. Come up around 9:55 and I’ll buzz you in.” 

Done. Simple & efficient. 

 

[marylander1940]

10 hours ago, Monarchy79 said:

You play a significant role in the lack of clarity in confirming an ETA in this scenario. 
 

Why not just set an actual time? 
 

How was this guy supposed to determine what “whatever it takes me to get dressed and walk 7 blocks”, means in terms of time? 
 

 

I don't make promises/commitments I don't know the circumstances will allow me to fulfill. I'm just that way! I won't tell you I'll be there in 30 minutes if I it might take me 35 or 25 because of traffic, traffic lights, etc.

He didn't have to determine it. He simply had to wait 10/13 minutes comfortably at home. I know it's big deal when you think you control the world with your phone on your hands, right? 

A provider a couple of months ago was staying near Reagan Airport and close to a yellow line station. If I have time to check www.wmta.com I know exactly how long it will take me to get there and I do it every time before flying.  He had someone at 11 and was free now, therefore I simply told him I'll put on my shoes, leave now (8 PM) and I have 10 / 12 mins walk to the metro. I might wait 1 or 10 mins for the next train, I'll be there closer to 9.

I waited 3 mins for the metro, got there and walk into his hotel at 8:42 PM. Later on I waited for him because he wasn't ready.... the appointment was fine but HE was late for it. 

I'd rather just leave my place catch the train instead of spending 2 extra minutes at home checking the metro site considering the app is unreliable. 

We have tough/demanding clients who proudly brag about telling escorts "if you're here 15 mins. late consider the appointment cancelled". I'm not that way, I keep my word, don't overpromise and except the same from others. 

I'm not an uber, not everything is life should be like uber. Allow me to put the phone in my pocket without texting my ass off and get there, please! 

 

[Rod Hagen]

On 11/2/2023 at 11:40 AM, marylander1940 said:

My phone was silent... he kept on texting me "Why it was taking me so long?', 

Oh I totally get that.  Even though I bought the very first iPhone AND I wear an Apple Watch Ultra daily, I just forget to look at my phone, in life, and people will say "What the fuck, I've been texting you...?"

[Jarrod_Uncut]

3 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

I don't make promises/commitments I don't know the circumstances will allow me to fulfill. I'm just that way! I won't tell you I'll be there in 30 minutes if I it might take me 35 or 25 because of traffic, traffic lights, etc.

He didn't have to determine it. He simply had to wait 10/13 minutes comfortably at home. I know it's big deal when you think you control the world with your phone on your hands, right? 

A provider a couple of months ago was staying near Reagan Airport and close to a yellow line station. If I have time to check www.wmta.com I know exactly how long it will take me to get there and I do it every time before flying.  He had someone at 11 and was free now, therefore I simply told him I'll put on my shoes, leave now (8 PM) and I have 10 / 12 mins walk to the metro. I might wait 1 or 10 mins for the next train, I'll be there closer to 9.

I waited 3 mins for the metro, got there and walk into his hotel at 8:42 PM. Later on I waited for him because he wasn't ready.... the appointment was fine but HE was late for it. 

I'd rather just leave my place catch the train instead of spending 2 extra minutes at home checking the metro site considering the app is unreliable. 

We have tough/demanding clients who proudly brag about telling escorts "if you're here 15 mins. late consider the appointment cancelled". I'm not that way, I keep my word, don't overpromise and except the same from others. 

I'm not an uber, not everything is life should be like uber. Allow me to put the phone in my pocket without texting my ass off and get there, please! 

 

I get where you are coming from with that. In my case, I wasn’t coming for you for simply not planning a precise eta, but moreso not coordinating one.

And regarding those who would say “consider the appointment cancelled if 15 minutes late”, I’ll be like: and I’m keeping the deposit and/or you owe me the half amount 🤷🏾‍♂️ 

However in your case, you cancelled on him and that’s the error:

He replied at 11:05 PM: "Are you here?" I said "NO" and he asked "Are you on Uber?', I once again told him I was walking 7 blocks to get to him. "What's your ETA?". 

I replied: "Are you high?". I had to cancelled, I can't handle this goldfish / microwave mindset they have when it comes to others. I might have overreacted but I had enough. 
 

You cancelled because he asked what’s your ETA? I don’t see anything wrong with that, that wasn’t aggressive, just trying to figure out when you’re arriving. Maybe you 2 discussed a time frame somewhere in there. But you didn’t allude to that being the case. Exactly how much notice did you give? 
 

Regardless, not trying to beat you up as it happens and people get mixed up trying to plan dick appointments all the time. But all this is why I don’t do biz anymore without deposits because, I would be hard pressed dealing with a situation that gets cancelled just for whatever bullshit reason comes to mind.

I also avoid short notice. Available now is merely, “text now to make appointment”

Especially considering my commute is never 7 blocks walking distance away, most times my commute is rarely less than 50 miles, to get to appointments. And some clients can be impatient yet don’t always convey how busy they are. “I’m free all day” should be dropped from all vocabulary because many of them never are.

Just like the guy is just “sitting at home” waiting for you, many clients do the same.

Edited March 26 by Jarrod_Uncut