My other P.P: Contacting last minute knowing that they’re leaving town

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Examples:

 

 And then today:

Sometimes I want to ask, what are you thinking contacting on such short notice expecting me to be in the same place at the same time you are, and not having any flexibility on making it happen? Who told you that it’s supposed to be THAT simple. Especially when my ad specifically states what 2 cities I am based in, and that any other areas even if just an hour or 2 away: are travel locations for me. Am I supposed to be a genie? 🧞 

And then when I asked the first person if he stayed, he’s like he did…but then didn’t even tell me. By that point I had already figured he wasn’t going to be available. 
 

It’s almost like some people go out of their way to make an appointment not happen. I can’t explain it any clearer on my Ad because I mention it twice that I ask for notice.

This is probably why a lot of guys only ever advertise their ads when they get to a city and don’t do any advanced posting. I can’t personally work that way, but if it has to get to that point that’s how it would be.

Though it would be much easier if people just used some common sense and courtesy…unless they are just intentionally bullshitting, which I wouldn’t be surprised.

Edited April 25, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jamie21]

You can’t please everyone @Jarrod_Uncut, some people just behave weirdly in this industry. It’s futile to try and change other people. I think the solution is to change one’s own perspective of the situation.

At least 50% of requests I receive go nowhere because calendars don’t align, clients think I’m based somewhere other than where I am or the price isn’t right or some other reason (often they’re just asking because they like the idea of a session but can’t get their head around actually going ahead with it). Some ask questions and then disappear off the face of the earth…not even an ‘thanks but not for me’.

All sorts of weird stuff happens such that I simply stop trying to understand or please everyone. If an enquiry turns into a session that’s great, if it doesn’t that’s great too. I get enough business so it’s fine by me. 

[DWnyc]

I get all sorts of messages from providers loaded with proof they weren’t listening / reading in our recent interaction. Might be prior to first booking, or a repeat, or when they’re trying to proactively Re-engage after I’ve walked away because something didn’t work for me, or because they didn’t get back in a timely fashion after my last comm.

These errors or forgotten details may apply to my availability, location, can I host, how long am I visiting, what am I looking for etc etc etc. And maybe they haven’t forgotten, they’re seeing if anything has changed. 

I never take it personally.

I try and empathize and assume they are fielding numerous queries and may have lost track of an individual’s details, rather like a doctor or professor who can’t remember their patients or student but that is less likely the other way around. And just as I may be speaking with numerous providers evaluating my options, they may be doing the same with potential clients: 

And I don’t let any of this stuff get to me even though my time is valuable, just as theirs is. 

The few extra minutes (and not even that usually) it may take to reply with a correction if I am bothered to do so (and often I am not) are worth it because the benefits of engaging in the hobby overall are greater than these annoyances. 

You shouldn’t let this stuff get to you either, @Jarrod_Uncut

 

[jeezifonly]

Hey, at least there’s still demand for what brings ‘em round!

[Jarrod_Uncut]

8 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

You can’t please everyone @Jarrod_Uncut, some people just behave weirdly in this industry. It’s futile to try and change other people. I think the solution is to change one’s own perspective of the situation.

At least 50% of requests I receive go nowhere because calendars don’t align, clients think I’m based somewhere other than where I am or the price isn’t right or some other reason (often they’re just asking because they like the idea of a session but can’t get their head around actually going ahead with it). Some ask questions and then disappear off the face of the earth…not even an ‘thanks but not for me’.

All sorts of weird stuff happens such that I simply stop trying to understand or please everyone. If an enquiry turns into a session that’s great, if it doesn’t that’s great too. I get enough business so it’s fine by me. 

You’re right! It’s funny you say because, I had referred an article to a friend who was struggling with family matters. “You can’t control others, you can only control yourself” 😝 

If I was “programmed” to know that 50% of inquiries would go nowhere…I’d probably be less bothered (in my case, more like 80% thanks for being in a country that most sites doesn’t list rates, and thinks firing news anchors, is more “proactive” than legalizing essential  human choices…but that’s political so don’t respond to that lol).

I get that it’s weird stuff, but people just need to not do it. And what makes it so bad; I WANTED to remove my number from my ads to cut down on the nonsense and dead end inquiries. And even put “registered members only” can contact me (yes clients, that is an option for us. So if you see a message “phone number not available” that may be why).

But I find the problem with that is, then my phone doesn’t get enough messages for days. Many clients aren’t members of the site, or when they click on my website link, that pop up showing “PHISHING ALERT” shows up and probably scares them away.

And if I’m traveling/touring I just can’t afford it to be too slow. Or just the opposite: I offer email only contact, but they email asking to meet at like 4 p.m.  and it’s already 8 p.m.

Instead of texting, they emailed me a booking request when I only check email couple times a day. And then when I say I can meet tomorrow, they’re like: I’m leaving tomorrow, or don’t respond back timely 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

I’m really trying to find the best solution. At this point though, I’m done with RentMasseur email. I’m debating turning off RentMen messenger as well. Even though it’s on auto reply, with very specific instructions, people still find a way to have a conversation with my auto reply on there, instead of doing what’s instructed. The auto reply instructs them to visit my website and then text me with the session they want, not send 2 word messages to engage me in a conversation.
 

A client recently was even a sponsor and reviewed several escorts in the past: I blocked him because he kept messaging me on there and saying stuff like, “okay, understood” instead of doing what I referred him to do. It’s like trying to make me run in circles. 
 

3 hours ago, DWnyc said:

I get all sorts of messages from providers loaded with proof they weren’t listening / reading in our recent interaction. Might be prior to first booking, or a repeat, or when they’re trying to proactively Re-engage after I’ve walked away because something didn’t work for me, or because they didn’t get back in a timely fashion after my last comm.

These errors or forgotten details may apply to my availability, location, can I host, how long am I visiting, what am I looking for etc etc etc. And maybe they haven’t forgotten, they’re seeing if anything has changed. 

I never take it personally.

I try and empathize and assume they are fielding numerous queries and may have lost track of an individual’s details, rather like a doctor or professor who can’t remember their patients or student but that is less likely the other way around. And just as I may be speaking with numerous providers evaluating my options, they may be doing the same with potential clients: 

And I don’t let any of this stuff get to me even though my time is valuable, just as theirs is. 

The few extra minutes (and not even that usually) it may take to reply with a correction if I am bothered to do so (and often I am not) are worth it because the benefits of engaging in the hobby overall are greater than these annoyances. 

You shouldn’t let this stuff get to you either, @Jarrod_Uncut

 

Good point…

I don’t fault anyone for needing to ask a question again, I have sometimes even sent my auto-greeting text to clients who might have included 1 or 2 answers, by mistake. I try to respond promptly something like, “and I know you’re hosting in XXX city and you seen me on RentMen, but if you can just answer the ones that aren’t included (usually like a name/age/preference aren’t included), that’ll be appreciated…So I can BEST ACCOMMODATE YOUR REQUEST”. 
 

However I can see in your case how it can be a ding in the interest if too many things are ignored or unanswered. 
 

But my request is super easy and simple: Try to at least TELL me you want to meet somewhere with the same amount of notice you’d give if you are visiting your non-immediate family members. Surely you wouldn’t call them out the blue asking to “come over”? I know people know better. The stupidity is unnecessary. 

Edited April 26, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[pubic_assistance]

5 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Instead of texting, they emailed me a booking request when I only check email couple times a day.

@Jarrod_Uncutthe rest of us who have businesses check our emails all day long. You're either serious about your job or your not. If you don't check your email, don't list it as a mode of communication.

[Rudynate]

2 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

@Jarrod_Uncutthe rest of us who have businesses check our emails all day long. You're either serious about your job or your not. If you don't check your email, don't list it as a mode of communication.

I don't.  I check it twice a day.   I'm  going into a new  B-to-C line of business, so that may change, but mostly, I'm looking for people who want to do business with ME, not people who are just shopping. 

[pubic_assistance]

Any customer service industry needs to be responsive to customer requests. So twice a day isn't ideal.

Either use email or don't.

[pubic_assistance]

35 minutes ago, Rudynate said:

I don't.  I check it twice a day.   I'm  going into a new  B-to-C line of business, so that may change, but mostly, I'm looking for people who want to do business with ME, not people who are just shopping. 

Jarrod is running a customer service industry.  Some  kinds businesses may be able to function without frequent communications with its customers...but a customer service business is expected to be responsive to communications.

[Rudynate]

30 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Jarrod is running a customer service industry.  Some  kinds businesses may be able to function without frequent communications with its customers...but a customer service business is expected to be responsive to communications.

I think it depends on the kind of clients he wants.  If he's looking for "right now" clients, yes he has to jump on it and get right back to them.  When I reach out to a provider, I am always looking to make an appointment, usually a few days out.   So I'm fine with a guy who doesn't respond right away.   The mistake I think Jarrod is making is in thinking that he is going to change people's behavior - somehow turning a D/F prospect into an A/B prospect.  But D/F prospects, mostly, will always be D/F prospects.  So his challenge is in figuring out how to how to access more A/B prospects and fewer D/F prospects. 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

1 minute ago, Rudynate said:

The mistake I think Jarrod is making is in thinking that he is going to change people's behavior - somehow turning a D/F prospect into an A/B prospect.

agree.  Within a specific industry w established norms, there is only so much someone can do re; changing those established norms to suit the providers wishes.

Deposits, as an example, are not accepted norm.  And while a provider may have dozens of valid reasons for deposits, it doesn’t change the fact that most clients will simply move on to someone that doesn’t require a deposit.

I’ve hired literally hundreds of providers over 30 years and never paid a deposit.  Ive never flaked on a provider, so maybe I’m an outlier.

I’m not suggesting a providers reasons for deposits are invalid - just that it likely turns a lot of prospective clients off that may very well be good clients. Reducing the potential pool of clients certainly comes with an opportunity cost. 
 

 

[+ keroscenefire]

I definitely get that as a pet peeve. I really do prefer to set up things a few days in advance. But it's surprisingly common that providers cancel last minute on me and then I'm sort of left trying to find someone to meet. This often happens when I visit a city. I'll be there just for a few days and have like the Saturday evening available for meeting a provider. Then the provider cancels and I'm left trying to see if I can find a new guy. And it is often the case that the locals are booked and only available after I am gone.

This is often why I've started to communicate with a few guys before a trip and then if the first once cancels, I already kind of have another I've talked to as a backup. But I know that is also a PP for some escorts too....

[Rudynate]

30 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

agree.  Within a specific industry w established norms, there is only so much someone can do re; changing those established norms to suit the providers wishes.

Deposits, as an example, are not accepted norm.  And while a provider may have dozens of valid reasons for deposits, it doesn’t change the fact that most clients will simply move on to someone that doesn’t require a deposit.

I’ve hired literally hundreds of providers over 30 years and never paid a deposit.  Ive never flaked on a provider, so maybe I’m an outlier.

I’m not suggesting a providers reasons for deposits are invalid - just that it likely turns a lot of prospective clients off that may very well be good clients. Reducing the potential pool of clients certainly comes with an opportunity cost. 
 

 

One time, a provider asked me for a deposit.   I had already decided that I wanted HIM, so  I said yes and asked him how he wanted to handle payment of the deposit.  Then he decided that he didn't need the deposit, so it all worked out.  If I were a provider, I could imagine using deposits selectively as a screen.   In that case, someone who said no to a deposit would be a D/F prospect. What's nice about it is that it is a self-executing screen.  People who say yes have demonstrated serious interest and automatically become A/B prospects and people who say no screen themselves out as D/F prospects. 

[DWnyc]

11 hours ago, Rudynate said:

I don't.  I check it twice a day.   I'm  going into a new  B-to-C line of business, so that may change, but mostly, I'm looking for people who want to do business with ME, not people who are just shopping. 

Don’t know what line of work you’re in but I’d say you’re an outlier. And certainly in @Jarrod_Uncut’s field having a phone and constantly checking mails is kind of part of the MO. I feel like it’s a requirement to tell providers not to keep checking during a session, that’s how much they are looking at their handheld devices (err… phones, to be precise). 

 

[DWnyc]

10 hours ago, keroscenefire said:

I definitely get that as a pet peeve. I really do prefer to set up things a few days in advance. But it's surprisingly common that providers cancel last minute on me and then I'm sort of left trying to find someone to meet.

I usually make appointments day of and often last minute.

Partly because of this issue you mention of providers often canceling (I get it … I made a booking for one hour and someone else wants you for more than that … ). Which is another reason I will never give into deposits. 

Partly because I don’t know my own schedule that far in advance. Or my mood, as wanting to hire is often an impulsive choice.

I read on here how some providers can’t deal with that or find it disrespectful etc. Not the ones I end up seeing, and maybe it’s self selection where the ones who know I’m looking for a few hours later and don’t like that don’t agree or respond. But plenty do, so this is not a universally held peeve among providers. 
 

[DWnyc]

10 hours ago, Rudynate said:

 The mistake I think Jarrod is making is in thinking that he is going to change people's behavior 

exactly

 

[Simon Suraci]

@Jarrod_Uncut aims for clients who can give notice. He makes a point of this in how he advertises. Clients simply don’t read it or respect it.

However, I agree that we can’t change client behavior. We can accept that it’s a bad client, the wrong match, or bad timing and move on. “Sorry client, xyz doesn’t work for me for abc reason, good luck” something as simple as that.

Not get upset, not scold the client, not try to convince them to change their approach. They won’t, no matter how right you are. But you will still be irritated and that weighs on you and affects you.

It’s frustrating, I get it, you know I do because I deal with the same nonsense every day. Over time, I’m getting better and better at letting it go. If a client wants to be unreasonable, not read the ad, not accept a policy I have, or whatever, I politely decline and move on. 

I let it go…and not allow it bother me anymore!

[SouthOfTheBorder]

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

aims for clients who can give notice. He makes a point of this in how he advertises. Clients simply don’t read it or respect it.

this a situation where the providers appear to have established the norm of “same day appointments only” 

seems like many providers have experienced client flakes and now majority of profiles have some sort of language about same day only - at least that’s my current sense of the industry at large based on regular browsing rentm. 

yes, there are a few providers that say they want notice - yet, the norm has been clearly laid out that same day is the accepted practice.  my own preference is to plan ahead, but I have been burned too by flaking providers and then no last minute replacement.  So, I’m of the mind to go along with same day norms as it just seems to minimize complications.

I have no problem scheduling future dates w providers where I have relationships.  The 2-3 providers I’ve known long term don’t have any sort of prerequisites to schedule: I think they’ve been in the business long enough to vet potential clients on initial contacts and work towards maintaining the valuable repeat clients with whatever it takes.   Those guys make my interactions with them effortless, which is the entire idea in a service based business. 

[DWnyc]

5 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

@Jarrod_Uncut aims for clients who can give notice. He makes a point of this in how he advertises. Clients simply don’t read it or respect it.

Totally fine for a provider to have a model he prefers. No one’s business but his to set that, though he should perhaps think of if it’s the best for his earnings potential (for his own sake) rather than see it as a matter of personal worth if people don’t accept those conditions when expressing interest. Expecting the world to change to be the way one wishes it to be is a complete waste of time.

Maybe people do read these conditions but don’t take them as inflexible. There is a belief among many potential clients that the business model includes a “I’ll do anything you want” mindset among providers and some are indeed like that. If a potential client likes the look of someone, or that provider is close by or some other reason for still wanting to engage, the potential client may still see if there’s a way to make this work. it doesn’t have to be about feeling disrespected or cause such angst which ultimately takes time away from other productive things.

Prroviders should remember that reputations (and therefore earnings) can be made and broken on this kind of stuff. Think of the comments here, on RM and in other places on (about no one in particular) “he’s rude, arrogant” etc as well as worse “vindictive, threatening …” etc. about a provider following the tone of comms. Not letting all this get under one’s skin would help preventing that issue. 

 

 

[Simon Suraci]

I agree. He can set his business model however he wants and operate that way, and nobody has to like it, but they should respect it. If he’s getting enough work, there’s no reason for him to complain.

I would not expect the hiring culture to change to fit his policies and way of doing business. I would, however, expect him to politely say ‘no’ when a client doesn’t fit his model for whatever reason, and then move on without any negative communications with the client or complaining about it.

[Alex93108]

I hire when I travel.  I can't be the only one that does this. So if you get a message from me - if you respond, and it goes somewhere. if it doesn't then it doesn't.

I messaged a Brazilian provider that took two days to respond, by which point I was sitting in the lounge at Heathrow about to board a flight to somewhere else. 

However there was another provider who responded right away, and happen to be available, so I was able to see him.

You could counter this by saying you would prefer not to see visitors which would limit your market, thats your choice

 

Edited April 27, 2023 by jetlow

[Rudynate]

1 hour ago, jetlow said:

I hire when I travel.  I can't be the only one that does this. So if you get a message from me - if you respond, and it goes somewhere. if it doesn't then it doesn't.

I messaged a Brazilian provider that took two days to respond, by which point I was sitting in the lounge at Heathrow about to board a flight to somewhere else. 

However there was another provider who responded right away, and happen to be available, so I was able to see him.

You could counter this by saying you would prefer not to see visitors which would limit your market, thats your choice

 

 

[Rudynate]

There is an unspoken assumption in a lot of the posts in this thread that providers want to see as many clients as possible and "of course" they would want to see me.   If I reach out to somebody and I don't hear from him, it is entirely possible that he isn't flaky at all - he's just not that into me.  One more reason why a thick hide helps in this pursuit.

[DWnyc]

I often ask questions of a provider where the  may have been in their ad. Not to torture them, but because I missed it. 

The biggest issue for me typically is if someone can host, non starter if they can’t. So if I don’t see the answer to that I’ll start by asking. A few times I’ve received a response on the lines of “as clearly stated I can’t host”. Done. I’ll move on. Once I asked and then while looking at their profile I gain it said they can’t … so I wrote straight back and said “sorry, ignore, just realized you can’t host” and he wrote back immediately “o should change that, actually I can …” and I ended up hiring him … an example of why seeing stated conditions as biblical edicts isn’t always the way to go.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 4/26/2023 at 9:54 AM, pubic_assistance said:

Any customer service industry needs to be responsive to customer requests. So twice a day isn't ideal.

Either use email or don't.

 

And I email companies a lot too…usually I get a couple replies in a day, if that. The difference is: I’m asking questions about a product or payment online.

That’s NOT trying to arrange an in-person appointment. I don’t know of any business where you email the company, asking “Hey are you available today, staying at the Sheraton”. Or “U free today around 2 p.m. ?“ 

Like no. No. just…no. Email is not online ordering, it’s not quite set up that way on the RentMen sites. If it was, maybe then you’d have a point. 
 

On 4/26/2023 at 10:05 AM, pubic_assistance said:

Jarrod is running a customer service industry.  Some  kinds businesses may be able to function without frequent communications with its customers...but a customer service business is expected to be responsive to communications.

 

No, escorts are running a CLIENT service. I am not a call center with 200 employees. There’s a reason why I left that industry…
 

On 4/26/2023 at 11:10 AM, SouthOfTheBorder said:

agree.  Within a specific industry w established norms, there is only so much someone can do re; changing those established norms to suit the providers wishes.

Deposits, as an example, are not accepted norm.  And while a provider may have dozens of valid reasons for deposits, it doesn’t change the fact that most clients will simply move on to someone that doesn’t require a deposit.

I’ve hired literally hundreds of providers over 30 years and never paid a deposit.  Ive never flaked on a provider, so maybe I’m an outlier.

I’m not suggesting a providers reasons for deposits are invalid - just that it likely turns a lot of prospective clients off that may very well be good clients. Reducing the potential pool of clients certainly comes with an opportunity cost. 
 

 

 

Don’t get me started on deposits. I already discussed that on another thread, but I’ll post an example again from other providers (Granted women, but men need to get on the ball with deposits as well…It’s 2023, not 2003 when online escorting was a new thing and people could be more reliable)

And even my own example of a client who sent me a deposit and had a great time, but got ripped off by another guy who DIDN’T charge deposit (and I know the guy who he’s referring to: I worked with him one time, and he scammed another client, we could have been shot or thrown out the hotel, because he lied to the client and he stormed out the room)

 

later…

 

then after…

On 4/26/2023 at 11:19 AM, keroscenefire said:

I definitely get that as a pet peeve. I really do prefer to set up things a few days in advance. But it's surprisingly common that providers cancel last minute on me and then I'm sort of left trying to find someone to meet. This often happens when I visit a city. I'll be there just for a few days and have like the Saturday evening available for meeting a provider. Then the provider cancels and I'm left trying to see if I can find a new guy. And it is often the case that the locals are booked and only available after I am gone.

This is often why I've started to communicate with a few guys before a trip and then if the first once cancels, I already kind of have another I've talked to as a backup. But I know that is also a PP for some escorts too....

Sorry that’s the case. Whoever cancels a  Saturday evening plans with you…Would be one man’s loss and another’s gain 😜 

I understand that could be a way to lessen the chances of plans falling thru, but ultimately it would depend on the provider.  If they okay with last minute great, but those who need notice should be given that rightfully. 

On 4/26/2023 at 9:31 PM, DWnyc said:

I usually make appointments day of and often last minute.

Partly because of this issue you mention of providers often canceling (I get it … I made a booking for one hour and someone else wants you for more than that … ). Which is another reason I will never give into deposits. 

Partly because I don’t know my own schedule that far in advance. Or my mood, as wanting to hire is often an impulsive choice.

I read on here how some providers can’t deal with that or find it disrespectful etc. Not the ones I end up seeing, and maybe it’s self selection where the ones who know I’m looking for a few hours later and don’t like that don’t agree or respond. But plenty do, so this is not a universally held peeve among providers. 
 

There’s no harm in booking a last minute booking. I used to do them all the time and still can be open to from time to time.

The issue is generally: if someone wants to make something happen, with another’s body in a sexual situation: they have to be willing to have the common sense necessary to understand: that person MIGHT not be expecting me, and things MIGHT be better if I try to get when they can be available, not solely when I’m horny.

In one of those exchanges I posted, it didn’t even sound like the person wanted the booking in the first place: which I understand what @Simon Suraci and @Rudynate are saying: low probability people are hard to convince BUT: I’m still going to let them know regardless. I don’t think I should be labeled as trying to change someone based on that. I’m not trying to change anyone, I’m just communicating my desires. Period.
 

I recall earlier this year, one guy kept texting me last minute, at night: I told him twice, darn I just closed taking appointments for the night. The 3rd time he got it right and it was a great time. Maybe I should continue playing that game for now on. I’ll always be booked, and booked, and booked again, whenever someone tries to meet on short notice. Then maybe they’ll say, “let me try to book ahead next time” 

22 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

@Jarrod_Uncut aims for clients who can give notice. He makes a point of this in how he advertises. Clients simply don’t read it or respect it.

However, I agree that we can’t change client behavior. We can accept that it’s a bad client, the wrong match, or bad timing and move on. “Sorry client, xyz doesn’t work for me for abc reason, good luck” something as simple as that.

Not get upset, not scold the client, not try to convince them to change their approach. They won’t, no matter how right you are. But you will still be irritated and that weighs on you and affects you.

It’s frustrating, I get it, you know I do because I deal with the same nonsense every day. Over time, I’m getting better and better at letting it go. If a client wants to be unreasonable, not read the ad, not accept a policy I have, or whatever, I politely decline and move on. 

I let it go…and not allow it bother me anymore!

I agree 100%, but again: it’s just me communicating to them what I require. They shouldn’t get offended. Most times, when I look for a guy to be intimate…who hasn’t hit me up first initiating it: They aren’t available. Clients, fuck buddies, etc. The main  times I can find someone available “now” in regular situations: are the substance user types. Or occasionally the small town guy who doesn’t have lots of prospects to work with. 

So I know people know better. 

And I guarantee, I guaran-fucking-tee…The ones who do that ALWAYS…NEVER show up. They get called into work within 20 minutes of messaging me. It never fails. That’s why I stopped working that way. 

Edited April 28, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut