Provider asks for pic of me

[StarQualityLuke]

1 hour ago, DWnyc said:

Depends if it’s before agreeing to an appointment, or not.

 

Not at all.  No discrimination whatsoever 

It's all safety, nothing more, should be nothing more. 

[DWnyc]

4 hours ago, StarQualityLuke said:

Not at all.  No discrimination whatsoever 

It's all safety, nothing more, should be nothing more. 

We’re going around in circles.

No, it’s not about safety for all providers all the time.

I would urge anyone speaking on behalf of providers on this issue who really does not believe that some (not all, maybe not even more than a small percent) would use a picture to filter clients on issues such as age, body type, ethnicity etc needs to just dig a little deeper on this. It’s very obvious beneath a not-subtle veneer.

For those who have genuine security concerns - I think you are in the minority, but then you need to do a better job of explaining that and what you specifically need, and be aware how this can be interpreted by some.  If the response is “I don’t care about that possible interpretation” that itself speaks volumes. 

[DWnyc]

6 hours ago, tassojunior said:

100% agree. Indians are not only the wealthiest but the fastest growing population group soaring from 1% to 5% I think in 10 years. And growing faster now. No one in the gay community wants to talk about it but sooner or later that stereotype is going to have to be confronted when they're a large segment of the community. There was even an Indian-American professor who used the stereotype to his Indian students 

Are Indians immune to harboring racial preferences and stereotypes towards others? Surely not … 

[StarQualityLuke]

7 hours ago, DWnyc said:

We’re going around in circles.

No, it’s not about safety for all providers all the time.

I would urge anyone speaking on behalf of providers on this issue who really does not believe that some (not all, maybe not even more than a small percent) would use a picture to filter clients on issues such as age, body type, ethnicity etc needs to just dig a little deeper on this. It’s very obvious beneath a not-subtle veneer.

For those who have genuine security concerns - I think you are in the minority, but then you need to do a better job of explaining that and what you specifically need, and be aware how this can be interpreted by some.  If the response is “I don’t care about that possible interpretation” that itself speaks volumes. 

Oh, I wasn't speaking for all, you are most correct.... 

[Decatur Guy]

I don't mind it. I'd rather suffer a little hurt feelings and get turned down than pay someone who can't rally after seeing me. Then my feelings are hurt AND I'm out a bunch of money. 

PLUS: I've seen many pictures of said person by now. It's only fair in my mind for said person to see a couple of me. In fact, I'll sometimes offer to send a picture if I've had a good phone conversation. I will not send a picture after just a brief text exchange. 

Edited May 8, 2023 by Decatur Guy

[NYXboy]

I've only been asked once and it did take me by surprise. I think I am probably an above-average-looking guy who hires providers not because I need to - I live in the city and can get laid on Grindr/Sniffies whenever I like - it's more about having guys that are A+ and fufiling certain fantasies without too much conmpromise.  I also really enjoy the power exchange or transactional nature of it. 

Anyway - having said that, I now send my picture unprompted. I think it helps in a lot of ways.

1. It shows a level of seriousness that a message from a burner number or a photoless profile on rentmen does not.  I have my photo on my whatsapp so if i message them there they can see it immediatly regardless. 

2. I feel the providers may adjust the rates when I ask the fee, as the job would be eaiser if there is mutual attarction (i understand this may not be the case with everyone) and they want to close the booking.

3. In anycase - the providers see I am serious and not a time waster, and I absolutly get faster responses once I do this.

[NyGold]

Surely providers are out to maximize profits?

If you were so attractive they all found you very easily beddable, surely that would be an easier way for them to get the profit, rather than then giving you a hottie discount lol.

Reading the posts on here  I think a lot of people get offered discounts on the starting rate quoted (I do, typically, around half the time, and without trying, it’s usually as I’m taking time to think and reply and they may think I’m uninterested because of price etc). No photo at that stage of the negotiation for me (or ever) so it’s not because I am attractive (or unattractive) to them. The point being your discount could be just about them wanting to close a deal and get cash for time that would otherwise be unpaid for them. 

[NYXboy]

2 hours ago, NyGold said:

Surely providers are out to maximize profits?

If you were so attractive they all found you very easily beddable, surely that would be an easier way for them to get the profit, rather than then giving you a hottie discount lol.

Reading the posts on here  I think a lot of people get offered discounts on the starting rate quoted (I do, typically, around half the time, and without trying, it’s usually as I’m taking time to think and reply and they may think I’m uninterested because of price etc). No photo at that stage of the negotiation for me (or ever) so it’s not because I am attractive (or unattractive) to them. The point being your discount could be just about them wanting to close a deal and get cash for time that would otherwise be unpaid for them. 

sorry if you misinterpreted my post - I don't barter or ask for discounts.  

I just send a pic when i enquire about rates/availabiity and interests.  It shows i am serious, not bad looking and that equals an easy job. 

Edited May 13, 2023 by NYXboy
spelling error

[StarQualityLuke]

55 minutes ago, NYXboy said:

sorry if you misinterpreted my post - I don't barter or ask for discounts.  

I just send a pic when i enquire about rates/availabiity and interests.  It shows i am serious, not bad looking and that equals an easy job. 

Perfect and understandable.  People should see one another, but it's a massage service, so shouldn't matter other than seeing who you are working on. 

[sjmuktop]

As others have said, escorts asking to see pics of clients is not the norm (most won’t and don’t do it; they’re happy to meet pretty much anyone regardless of how they look, as long as they get paid what they ask for…..your money is what’s important to most of them, not your looks). 

I have a profile pic of myself on my WhatsApp anyway, so they can see what I look like when I contact them. 

[italianboyph]

On 4/14/2023 at 3:20 AM, Jamie21 said:

I think there’s no good reason for requiring a picture. It’s just because he’s being picky about who his client is, and that is a sign he’s doing the work as a way to earn a bit of money from his sex life. So beware if you’re asked for a pic.

There are ways of getting around the recognition issue of buzzing in to a secured building. Many intercoms don’t have video anyway. Just give the client a password to say. And if meeting in a hotel lobby I usually just tell my client what I’m wearing and where I’m sitting and they find me. 

I saw a client recently at a hotel and sent him a description of what I was wearing once I’d arrived in the lobby. He texted back with his attire. Was easy to find each other. Only once I’d sent the text did I realise that I couldn’t really be missed…I had my portable massage table next to me 😂
 

Exactly, I think that's just part of it and that's why it's not for everyone. I don't think providers should demand to see a picture of a client.

Edited May 13, 2023 by italianboyph

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, italianboyph said:

I don't think providers should exert demand to see a picture of a client.

Everyone has a right to run their business in the manner that works best for themselves. That's rather the whole point of having your own business. If someone doesn't want to massage a grotesquely obese person I don't have a problem with that. Money doesn't buy everything.

[italianboyph]

4 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Everyone has a right to run their business in the manner that works best for themselves. That's rather the whole point of having your own business. If someone doesn't want to massage a grotesquely obese person I don't have a problem with that. Money doesn't buy everything.

No doubt they have that right, but chances are their business won't do well imo. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

On 5/9/2023 at 11:45 PM, NYXboy said:

I've only been asked once and it did take me by surprise. I think I am probably an above-average-looking guy who hires providers not because I need to - I live in the city and can get laid on Grindr/Sniffies whenever I like - it's more about having guys that are A+ and fufiling certain fantasies without too much conmpromise.  I also really enjoy the power exchange or transactional nature of it. 

Anyway - having said that, I now send my picture unprompted. I think it helps in a lot of ways.

1. It shows a level of seriousness that a message from a burner number or a photoless profile on rentmen does not.  I have my photo on my whatsapp so if i message them there they can see it immediatly regardless. 

2. I feel the providers may adjust the rates when I ask the fee, as the job would be eaiser if there is mutual attarction (i understand this may not be the case with everyone) and they want to close the booking.

3. In anycase - the providers see I am serious and not a time waster, and I absolutly get faster responses once I do this.

While I agree with and defer to the providers on here that asking for a photo is bad form, I do tend to be similar to @NYXboy in my approach as a client. I don't send a photo until we've more or less agreed to the deal but I do think I prefer they know what I look like before we meet. I describe myself in my initial text (Irish-American, 40s, white collar professional, 5'11", chubby but fit - yes, you can be both - with a great ass). And then once we've agreed to meet, I'll send them G-rated pic. I've never had someone cancel on me after I've sent the pic. 

I also think there's a wide variety of providers - some who do it FOR the money, some who absolutely love sex in all of its forms with a broad palette (my personal favorite kind), some who do it as an extension of their sex life (I avoid at all costs). Two of my favorite providers are in their late 20s, they're both lean and fit but not hugely muscular, and, being the "broad palette, love sex" types, always seem genuinely to be having fun.

Ideally, a provider enjoys their time with me, as I would want for any fellow human performing a service. And because I get off on being desired (or fooled into believing I am despite the bullshit detector of a native NYer), if at any point a provider signals that being with me is a chore, I'm turned off and won't see them again.

Thankfully, there are enough of the "love sex/broad palette" guys out there, that I mostly enjoy those I meet. I think it also helps that I'm not really into ripped, model types. 

[Isrhunter]

I never give my picture I feel that is unprofessional

[+ José Soplanucas]

7 minutes ago, Isrhunter said:

I feel that is unprofessional

I am not so sure. If a provider has narrow chemistry boundaries, asking for a prospective client's picture may be the professional option. Taking a contract you cannot fulfill would be unprofessional.

Trashing the man is uncalled. We may not like it, and this may be bad business practice, as pointed out above, but there is nothing unethical about it. Just move to the next.

[marylander1940]

On 5/1/2023 at 11:46 PM, tassojunior said:

fwiw- i know enough working guys to where I'm sure much or most of the time this is from a dislike of Indian and South Asian clients. I don't like it at all but it is what it is. Discrimination against them in the gay community is a hidden problem. 

According to what I've been told they make reliable and respectful clients. Some of them because of privacy concerns hire while they're in college and continue hiring later in life. 

[DWnyc]

12 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

And because I get off on being desired (or fooled into believing I am despite the bullshit detector of a native NYer), if at any point a provider signals that being with me is a chore, I'm turned off and won't see them again.

 

It’s no different from any top quality service provider who may not actually like you or providing service … but will not let you feel anything other than they deserve your business.

If anyone leaves an experience feeling the provider genuinely enjoyed being with them, whatever that may actually mean in reality is irrelevant - the provider did their job well.

[NyGold]

On 5/12/2023 at 10:23 PM, NYXboy said:

sorry if you misinterpreted my post - I don't barter or ask for discounts.  

I just send a pic when i enquire about rates/availabiity and interests.  It shows i am serious, not bad looking and that equals an easy job. 

Didn’t misinterpret one bit.

I don’t ever ask for discounts but frequently get them. I don’t send any pictures. 

Other than hopefully realizing I’m not a nightmare client, I’m not making a providers job any easier than it should be. Their reason for offering me a discount is their business. 


 

[francisssgorg]

I was just reading from another thread that a provider was asking him for details of the client including pics and social media. I really find it weird and in a way discriminating. I mean I get that sometimes providers have to protect themselves just in case that's why they can ask some details but asking for stats of your physical appearance and race or whatever, is too much. It means that the provider is picky... Come on, it's not a grindr date... You're supposed to be doing your job. 

Otherwise if you encounter this kind of provider? Just find somebody on tinder or grindr or whatever, and it's FREE ❤️

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 5/1/2023 at 8:32 AM, pubic_assistance said:

In North America "average" means FAT (not fit).

I'd like to know how those statistics look if you only counted gay men....

[DWnyc]

1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said:

I'd like to know how those statistics look if you only counted gay men....

Likewise for incidence of prejudice masked as preference … (expecting the eye roll emojis from the predictable regulars and warning note from moderators) 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

8 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I'd like to know how those statistics look if you only counted gay men....

It would be similar. If you get outside of major cities, most people - regardless of sexual orientation- are overweight. 

[The Dude]

A provider asking for a pic is an absolute deal breaker.  If something were to go wrong, there is nothing stopping him from spreading your image all over the internet with a bunch of slander.  Once you send that pic out there, you have ZERO control over what happens to it.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

7 hours ago, The Dude said:

A provider asking for a pic is an absolute deal breaker.  If something were to go wrong, there is nothing stopping him from spreading your image all over the internet with a bunch of slander.  Once you send that pic out there, you have ZERO control over what happens to it.

I don't worry about this because there are many pictures of me online. Anyone could use one of those to make wild claims about me. Does the provider want to expose himself as doing something illegal? I doubt it.