Condom and bareback discrepancy

[+ Jamie21]

4 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

FWIW (see? I know the jargon. I choose not to use it), I also know STDs are now STIs -- a rose by any other name, etc.

As for condoms, in my experience, the men I've been with seem to wait for me to draw the line and insist on condom usage. I have gotten only one balk at wearing a condom -- and he later relented because he wanted me to fuck him. It could be a case of each party waiting to see how the other will react if and when condoms are mentioned.

As for the comparisons about drinking alcohol, it's a faulty analogy. An alcoholic or drug addict ruins only his internal organs and compromises the quality of only his life.  But when one engages in risky sexual behavior, it affects unsuspecting others who may not have agreed to engage in the previous risky behavior.

I think the analogy is a fair one. Alcoholics affect others massively (try living with one) so do drug addicts (most crime is drug related). 

I agree with you about the waiting for each partner to react. That happens. It’s a choice though. You choose to do it safe, he wasn’t compelled to do so. Similarly I don’t insist anyone agrees to my choice. If a client wants to top me with a condom that’s fine because I choose to agree they use one if they want to. If the client wants me to top them with a condom then I simply decline, and it doesn’t happen (and as I said, it’s not part of massage anyway). It’s all free choice. It’s very easy to avoid the risk of catching something: you avoid all human contact. 
 

[+ Jamie21]

9 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I don't feel enlightened.

I expected a professional experience revelation.

If you don’t feel enlightened …then use some lube? 

[Your Man in Arlington]

On 10/25/2024 at 3:11 PM, pubic_assistance said:

You learn something new every day here.

🤣

In all my years, I've never heard of that...nor do I even understand WHY I would WANT to do that !

A little lube inside a condom (and of course lube on the outside of a condom) help prevent breakage. If you normally produce precum, perhaps unnecessary?

[aiseeya]

Some of y'all are preachy af.....had weird flashback to my tender age at catholic school.

Having sex with multiples is a risk in itself, just saying.

[411Reviews]

Is it really a good idea to be advocating to not use a condom with an escort? I don’t care what drugs are out there. 

[LookingAround]

It's 2024. I feel like I'm in some alternate universe like in The Twilight Zone. Do you guys live in the real world? Seriously. 

[KeepItReal]

In the real world STI rates have been increasing among young and old. Do what you have to, to protect yourself. Also consider how your actions impact others - you know, like a responsible adult. 🤓

 

https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/29-08-2024-alarming-decline-in-adolescent-condom-use--increased-risk-of-sexually-transmitted-infections-and-unintended-pregnancies--reveals-new-who-report

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, KeepItReal said:

STI rates have been increasing among young and old. 

PreP has kept a lot of gay and bisexual men from dying of HIV while killing a few more with antibiotic-resistant syphilis 

[Cretus]

6 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

PreP has kept a lot of gay and bisexual men from dying of HIV while killing a few more with antibiotic-resistant syphilis 

I must say, the threat of antibiotic resistant bacteria is understated.

I became very condom friendly after a messy encounter with a bottom provider, which gave me a multi bacterial infection of the prostate.

Suffered for a year, with antibiotics not doing a thing (+ some having wild side effects) and resorted to bacteriophage therapy.

If you have a feeling things can get messy with the bottom you’re about to fuck, please wear a condom. It’s not simply about disgust- it’s about safety.

Edited October 29, 2024 by Lolito

[ShortCutie7]

7 hours ago, Lolito said:

I must say, the threat of antibiotic resistant bacteria is understated.

I became very condom friendly after a messy encounter with a bottom provider, which gave me a multi bacterial infection of the prostate.

Suffered for a year, with antibiotics not doing a thing (+ some having wild side effects) and resorted to bacteriophage therapy.

If you have a feeling things can get messy with the bottom you’re about to fuck, please wear a condom. It’s not simply about disgust- it’s about safety.

Exactly, this is why I don’t get the anti-condom rhetoric.

[FaustOust]

On 10/25/2024 at 11:37 PM, BenjaminNicholas said:

Live in the now.  This isn't 1984.

Says a man who has no adult memory of 1984.  Many of us are well aware it is not 1984 and need no reminding because we survived it.

 

[mike carey]

I remember 1984, I read it well before that year!

[viewing ownly]

Bearded, thick dick Zack and porn legend Phattbooty (Skye) are the only two men I'm aware of that insist on condom use with ALL of their encounters, period. It disgusts me that they get ruthlessly chastised for their own decision-making. What they choose to do is not wrong, nor out-dated. I know if I were to ever see them and have things progress to intercourse, it would be for my own sexual best interests in addition to theirs. 

Condoms are turning into 8-track tapes - it isn't as pleasant as other formats, but it ain't bad either. 

[+ FrankR]

4 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

Condoms are turning into 8-track tapes - it isn't as pleasant as other formats, but it ain't bad either. 

A better analogy is probably vinal records. They remained in favor with many and have seen a bit of a revival over the past 5 years. (Sold 43 million records last year).  
 

I suspect the same will happen with condom use. It is a cheap and easy way to protect yourself from all kinds of critters.

Edited October 31, 2024 by FrankR

[PileDriver]

have fucked and been fucked raw by escorts...one regular guy suddenly insisted he use a condom when fucking me...he was tired of getting std's...have to respect that!!! and also didn't want to be spreading std's to regulars like me...even more respect for his concern

[mike carey]

My most regular guy recently had a mycoplasma genitalium (mgen) infection, and he was rattled by the uncertainty of a cure given its antibiotic resistance, and the time treatment takes (several may be needed in succession) that he is going to be more inclined to use condoms from now on. We talked about it at length both before and after the infection was identified (other STI tests are typically run first here to eliminate them as the cause of symptoms), and he hasn't been able to identify the chain of infection. He didn't go into the details, but from his contact(s) that were positive, it wasn't possible to work out who had the preexisting infection and who passed it to whom (or even if both coincidentally caught it elsewhere). (Yes, I tested negative so he didn't get it from me.)

From a business perspective, the down time from working if he were to catch it again meant that routinely not using a condom was no longer a rational decision.

And when I was at the [ACT Goverment] clinic, the doctor asked me if I had considered PrEP and when I prevaricated said, 'Why not?' and I now have a prescription to fill (to use on-occasion, not every day).

[+ FrankR]

20 minutes ago, mike carey said:

My most regular guy recently had a mycoplasma genitalium (mgen) infection, and he was rattled by the uncertainty of a cure given its antibiotic resistance, and the time treatment takes (several may be needed in succession) that he is going to be more inclined to use condoms from now on. We talked about it at length both before and after the infection was identified (other STI tests are typically run first here to eliminate them as the cause of symptoms), and he hasn't been able to identify the chain of infection. He didn't go into the details, but from his contact(s) that were positive, it wasn't possible to work out who had the preexisting infection and who passed it to whom (or even if both coincidentally caught it elsewhere). (Yes, I tested negative so he didn't get it from me.)

From a business perspective, the down time from working if he were to catch it again meant that routinely not using a condom was no longer a rational decision.

And when I was at the [ACT Goverment] clinic, the doctor asked me if I had considered PrEP and when I prevaricated said, 'Why not?' and I now have a prescription to fill (to use on-occasion, not every day).

The “older and wiser” like us, understand that PrEP protects against HIV but not bacterial infections etc. I continue to be surprised by how many young men believe PrEP makes them bullet proof. A very indignant young man asked me why he had to get the Mpox vaccine - he was getting the PrEP injection every few months already! (It took most of my self control, not to roll my eyes like Dorothy).

[LookingAround]

This is such an alternate universe. Like I've entered some Twilight Zone that has no resemblance to the gay world I inhabit in NYC. 

[ShortCutie7]

1 hour ago, LookingAround said:

This is such an alternate universe. Like I've entered some Twilight Zone that has no resemblance to the gay world I inhabit in NYC. 

That’s because many of those of us who are pro-condom are not the inhabitants of that world.  Yes, I am gay and a New Yorker, but I am not the kind of person you would meet while out clubbing… I have commitments that prevent me from living that life, as well as other interests.

[pubic_assistance]

16 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

That’s because many of those of us who are pro-condom are not the inhabitants of that world.  

I don't know what LookingAround is referring to...I just know when I was younger I was a VERY very sexual person who had sex with a LOT of different people. I always used condoms and over the course of 15 years never caught anything.

I see no reason to increase my risk of disease by taking a pill that ONLY prevents one infection. That's just ridiculous and anyone who subscribes to that lifestyle is being deliberately oblivious to the risks of other STIs.

[ShortCutie7]

9 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I don't know what LookingAround is referring to...I just know when I was younger I was a VERY very sexual person who had sex with a LOT of different people. I always used condoms and over the course of 15 years never caught anything.

I see no reason to increase my risk of disease by taking a pill that ONLY prevents one infection. That's just ridiculous and anyone who subscribes to that lifestyle is being deliberately oblivious to the risks of other STIs.

My life has changed significantly in the last few years.  I was much more sexually active from circa 2012 (aka before PreP was common) to 2019, and had plenty of hookups albeit very rarely anal.  The handful of times I did anal I always used a condom, but had never thought of using a condom for oral before reading on this very site about experiences getting STIs from oral.  I was fortunate enough to have never gotten an STI, but I now know that that was more due to luck than my own safety measures.  While I now hook up very very infrequently (more due to my lifestyle/circumstances than fear), I understand the cohort LookingAround is describing, and they regularly go clubbing/bar-hopping, go to sex parties, are on PreP, and have BB sex.  I don’t think it’s obliviousness as much as it is a mindset that they’ll just cross the bridge of treating an infection if they get it.  While I don’t judge those who do that at all and am honestly a bit envious, I don’t have space in my life for all that and don’t think BBing would be worth the risk of other STIs even if I were on PreP.

[pubic_assistance]

15 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

While I don’t judge those who do that at all and am honestly a bit envious,

Why would you be envious of people playing Russian Roulette with their health? There's an outbreak of anti-biotic-resistant gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis going around because of people who run around barebacking everyone they meet.

[ShortCutie7]

2 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Why would you be envious of people playing Russian Roulette with their health? There's an outbreak of anti-biotic-resistant gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis going around because of people who run around barebacking everyone they meet.

The envy is not of the BB sex itself, but of the flexibility these people have in their lives that allows them to have it.

[pubic_assistance]

34 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

The envy is not of the BB sex itself, but of the flexibility these people have in their lives that allows them to have it.

What sort of "flexibility"?

An ability to pretend that other dangerous STIs don't exist?

 

[ShortCutie7]

3 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

What sort of "flexibility"?

An ability to pretend that other dangerous STIs don't exist?

 

“Flexibility” meaning a lack of commitments/responsibilities and constraints.  They have the time and money to afford the laissez-faire attitude.  Their lives revolve around sex because they can.  I don’t think I’m being clear lol.