" I see nothing wrong with being selective in who he (an escort) accepts as clients "

[topunderachiever]

This was mentioned by a poster in another thread defending a provider's request for age, height and weight.  It's certainly a controversial subject and has been discussed many times. 

But I'm curious if and how attitudes have evolved regarding this and what if any are the risks or pitfalls to the broader mechanism of the Oldest Profession.  

[BgMstr4u]

Of course escorts have the right to select clientele, on many levels and in many areas.  Beginning with only taking clients who can pay and moving on to those whom they can do a good job for, for whatever reason, and then into arenas of personal preference.  But the truth is that escorts with wider acceptance parameters will have a larger client base to appeal to.  The other truth is that among those willing to pay for companionship there are a lot more older, larger, plainer men than there are younger, fitter, handsome men.  So what’s your market opportunity?

Edited November 27, 2021 by BgMstr4u

[Bluefin]

If I could attract exactly the type of guy that I’m attracted to, for more or less the kind of encounter I want, at more or less the exact day and time of my choosing, I wouldn’t need to hire an escort. 

[Jamie21]

If you’re being picky about your clients on the basis of their age (18+), body type, ethnicity or any other similar reason then you’re not a proper escort. I’m not picky about my clients, I don’t want a picture or description to book. I mainly do massage (sexual style) and all I ask is to be healthy for massage and sober / not on drugs. 

[+ sniper]

I am turned off by such escorts, but is it fundamentally all that different from a nightclub that doesn't let you in without a certain look?  And realistically, the kind of escort who does that likely isn't going to be a good time in the first place, so they're saving you money.

[sjmuktop]

I've been hiring for 15-years and in all that time, only TWO escorts out of the many I have seen have asked me to send a picture of myself to them when I made enquiries about booking. Not surprisingly, both guys were rude and disrespectful with an air of arrogance about them. 

The best and also the most serious, proper and professional escorts are accepting of all potential clients regardless of race, age, body shape and size, etc. All they ask is that you pay them the amount they request and that you are mature and respectful. They have no time for arrogant, rude, disrespectful clients who feel that the world owes them a favour, just as we clients expect the escorts we see to be professional, friendly and non-judgmental. It works both ways.

Edited November 27, 2021 by sjmuktop

[Kareem_nyc]

since the provider is required from him to get involved on an intimate level, then for sure he has the right to choose his clients as well. A sexual preference is not a form of discrimination nor racism. Because he doesn’t want to pretend something he doesn’t feel or enjoy, makes him a genuine person. In most cases he has what it called standard, and a specific type of people that he knows he will perform pretty well with. And the difference between racism/discrimination and non of that is a very fine mine. For example person “A” who sexually turned off by Aliens (lol) and he often reject their request for sexual activity , but he treat them respectfully when it comes to the daily life social interactions. And Person “B” who does the same with their requests, but yet he always makes a hateful comments addressing the aliens race and usually treats them disrespectfully. 
Person “A” is totally fine to the norm, and person “B” he’s racist. 
Although the continuous ad’s and educational campaigns against racial behavior. Still see alotttt of racism here in nyc. 
I believe the only threat that the humanity would face is humans themselves. And nothing will save this generation except empathy and compassion. 
 

cheers, 

K.

[MscleLovr]

I feel you’ve answered the OP’s questions very well @sjmuktop

I’d just add that years ago when I hired, I wasn’t concerned if an escort asked for my pic or asked about my age, weight, sexual preferences etc.  I was always picky when dating and I accepted that escorts might be picky too. I much preferred to find out in advance that we would not be compatible . It saved me time and money, and spared me an unsatisfactory date. 

[Kareem_nyc]

54 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

If you’re being picky about your clients on the basis of their age (18+), body type, ethnicity or any other similar reason then you’re not a proper escort. I’m not picky about my clients, I don’t want a picture or description to book. I mainly do massage (sexual style) and all I ask is to be healthy for massage and sober / not on drugs. 

I dnt believe he’s picky, he just has some standards. Otherwise How would you perform any sexual act if you were not attracted to the other party. 

[jeezifonly]

I was asked once, and so I exaggerated my existing flaws, adding a few years, a few pounds, and describing my face as “almost healed”. He didn’t balk and when I showed up, he opened the door, and said “you’re much more attractive than you think”.
I climaxed right then and there, handed him a couple Benjamins and left happy. 🍻

[Jamie21]

2 hours ago, Kareem_nyc said:

I dnt believe he’s picky, he just has some standards. Otherwise How would you perform any sexual act if you were not attracted to the other party. 

I think it’s very possible to perform a sexual act if you’re not attracted to the other party. I’m able to find attraction in the client I’m with even if they’re not the kind of client I’d normally be instantly attracted to. That’s the essence of doing sex work; the ability to make a connection with all sorts of different people and find what’s attractive about them.

My point is that if you’re a sex worker who likes to choose only clients you find attractive then you’re not really a sex worker, you’re just getting paid in your sex life. A true sex worker will accept all clients and make them all feel attractive and valued. I see clients who are disabled for example. I know some providers who refused to see them because they’re not attractive enough. That’s their choice of course but I’d say they’re not doing a great job. 

[+ nycman]

While I don’t send pictures, I will painful describe myself if asked. 
In fact, I most likely "undersell" the product just like I do in real 
life hook ups. I’m always happier when the other person opens 
the door and they’re relieved by what they see versus disappointed. 

If we’re not a match, for whatever reason (racism, bigotry, 
homophobia, body nazism, etc.) I’d rather know before I plan my
evening and open my wallet. Guys who get butt hurt about this
always amuse me. Wait?….you want to spend time with a dude who 
is repulsed by you and is willing to chew his arm off to get
away from you? Come on!

Too many fish kids. Move on and find the right one. 

[dcman]

I'm perfectly happy with the escort/provider being as discriminatory as he likes.  Last thing I want is for him to show up at my door and he being turned off for any reason.  I am asking for a highly personal service and I would hope that the provider can be attracted enough to perform properly, otherwise, why spend this kind of money for physical attention ?

[harlow]

35 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

I think it’s very possible to perform a sexual act if you’re not attracted to the other party. I’m able to find attraction in the client I’m with even if they’re not the kind of client I’d normally be instantly attracted to. That’s the essence of doing sex work; the ability to make a connection with all sorts of different people and find what’s attractive about them.

My point is that if you’re a sex worker who likes to choose only clients you find attractive then you’re not really a sex worker, you’re just getting paid in your sex life. A true sex worker will accept all clients and make them all feel attractive and valued. I see clients who are disabled for example. I know some providers who refused to see them because they’re not attractive enough. That’s their choice of course but I’d say they’re not doing a great job. 

This is the best response yet.

[harlow]

5 hours ago, topunderachiever said:

This was mentioned by a poster in another thread defending a provider's request for age, height and weight.  It's certainly a controversial subject and has been discussed many times. 

But I'm curious if and how attitudes have evolved regarding this and what if any are the risks or pitfalls to the broader mechanism of the Oldest Profession.  

Kinda glad you brought this up.  Especially since the post you saw was a response to a post I made.

[jeezifonly]

Massage table involvement in the proceedings can actually make ht/wt question relevant. 

Pretty face/body/dick always seeks same, on the apps, under the radar and over-the-counter. 
The ad extends an invitation, the client rsvp’s yes… some parties are duds.

 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I have never once asked or expected a provider to get off, or even get hard for that matter. It's one advantage of only hiring for fetishes and role playing.

However, when a provider asks for too much info to check for "compatibility," I cut them off. As others pointed out, I don't need to spend time with some entitled brat. There's hundreds more.

[Rudynate]

I don't see any reason for an escort not to be choosy if he wants to be.  It does seem self-defeating. As somebody said upthread, a largeer client base is more conducive to staying busy and making money than a smaller one.

[Alex93108]

11 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

If you’re being picky about your clients on the basis of their age (18+), body type, ethnicity or any other similar reason then you’re not a proper escort. I’m not picky about my clients, I don’t want a picture or description to book. I mainly do massage (sexual style) and all I ask is to be healthy for massage and sober / not on drugs. 

The ones that are picky I have noticed as Grindr amateurs - boys looking for a daddy - will have sex and would like to get paid for it too.   

 

[Kareem_nyc]

14 hours ago, sjmuktop said:

I've been hiring for 15-years and in all that time, only TWO escorts out of the many I have seen have asked me to send a picture of myself to them when I made enquiries about booking. Not surprisingly, both guys were rude and disrespectful with an air of arrogance about them. 

The best and also the most serious, proper and professional escorts are accepting of all potential clients regardless of race, age, body shape and size, etc. All they ask is that you pay them the amount they request and that you are mature and respectful. They have no time for arrogant, rude, disrespectful clients who feel that the world owes them a favour, just as we clients expect the escorts we see to be professional, friendly and non-judgmental. It works both ways.

Are you buying vegetables in the fish market? What you doing is gaslighting the reader. Do you really believe any  professional escort will accept anyone…

you are very wrong and you shift so far from reality. Maybe a slut who fuck for 20$, will accept anyone requests him. But as you go higher, the escort become more selective. Doesn’t mean he accepts only the cliché (young, fit, attractive), and I even consider this perspective is very limited and inside the box. An idea about what the selectivity is:

1- the profession of the client 

2- the reputation of the client

3- the public relation of the client 

4- the hygiene of the client 

5- the attitude and character of the client 

 

[Kareem_nyc]

11 hours ago, harlow said:

This is the best response yet.

Yup, best answer in lalaland 

[lonely_john]

I only find it fair when providers ask for stats (age, height, weight, etc) which are basically "anonymous" information. It's not like they're asking for face pictures. Either for escorting or massage, the height, weight (and sometimes the age of a client) help determine how the session will go, as it helps the provider determine if the massage table can bear the weight of a client, or if he has the right bed size, how intense will be the energy of the session, etc.

[maninsoma]

If an escort wants to eliminate certain clients based on looks, I much prefer it when his ad is clear that he does that.  He can either be blunt (specifically excluding certain groups of people) or give a strong hint ("prefer to work on clients who are height/weight proportionate" or something like that).  What I don't appreciate is a guy not having any indication in the text of his ad that he is going to screen based on looks who then does so after I've contacted him.  As others have written, it might be foolish from a business perspective since it's going to limit the pool of clients, but I don't begrudge someone who gets as much business as he wants while still declining to see certain clients based on looks.  But the last thing a client wants after approaching an escort is to be rejected based on looks.  If we wanted that we would be on an app looking for free hookups or out at a bar or sex club or something.  It's much easier if you simply know in advance not to bother to contact someone since he clearly won't accept your business rather than be annoyed after the fact.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

There's an old saying that rings true for this topic.

It's not what you say, but how you say it.

Of course an escort makes choices in his clientele.  Everyone has preferences, limits and lines.  However, it's HOW you say 'no, thank you' that separates a great escort from just another five-and-dime hooker.  You never go out of your way to make someone feel less-than.  You spare people's feelings, always. 

We're in the business of making people feel great and it defeats the purpose if we act like we're cruising Grindr.

[Jamie21]

1 minute ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

There's an old saying that rings true for this topic.

It's not what you say, but how you say it.

Of course an escort makes choices in his clientele.  Everyone has preferences, limits and lines.  However, it's HOW you say 'no, thank you' that separates a great escort from just another five-and-dime hooker.  You never go out of your way to make someone feel less-than.  You spare people's feelings, always. 

We're in the business of making people feel great and it defeats the purpose if we act like we're cruising Grindr.

There speaks a professional. Well said. I totally agree. I always think “this client has chosen me for his massage / fun…out of all the other options available to him he has chosen me. What a fantastic compliment that is! I shall make sure that he feels fantastic about that choice and really make his day”.