Feeling overwhelmed by the move

[Guest]

I've lived where I now live ever since I finished residency, almost 3 decades. I don't know what to do. What do I do with all of my books? Seems silly to keep all of them. I don't know if I library wants them? Should I rent or sell? What furniture do I keep and what do I get rid of? Should I dump all of my spices and get a new set of spices? I feel almost paralyzed about this. Basically all of my life since training has been in this house. Any of you move late in life? Any suggestions?

[marylander1940]

I've lived where I now live ever since I finished residency, almost 3 decades. I don't know what to do. What do I do with all of my books? Seems silly to keep all of them. I don't know if I library wants them? Should I rent or sell? What furniture do I keep and what do I get rid of? Should I dump all of my spices and get a new set of spices? I feel almost paralyzed about this. Basically all of my life since training has been in this house. Any of you move late in life? Any suggestions?

 

It's tempting and easier to get a dumpster and get rid of many things but in this time why not helping others even if it requires some effort.

 

If they're medical books I would email libraries of nearby colleges, and take them to them. Also check Little Free Library Map and stopped by in a few locations.

 

Furniture: contact the Salvation Army or any charity, I'm sure they'll be interested.

Edited November 30, 2020 by marylander1940

[cany10011]

You are moving to a new beautiful place. I would start afresh. I never kept any furniture when from my old place that I lived in when I was a resident. I moved when I was 35 so not that late, so i didn't have as many nice pieces at that time. Hired a decorator who took me shopping and had a blast buying nice new custom pieces as well as some antiques. Bought some exquisite huanghuali scholar furniture pieces and japanese screens that I adore. Threw out all the mismatched pots and pans as well as silverware. Went to Bloomingdales and bought a new set of everyday plates and silverware and ordered some handmade japanese plates made from a 13th generation potter outside Osaka I learned to let go of the old and spend money like crazy. Perhaps your new friend will take the lead and help you that way you two can have a project in building your new space together.

[Luv2play]

I bought my first house at 30 , near the start of my career and, like you, kept it for my entire working life, which only lasted 25 years as I retired at 50.

 

Since then, I have lived in a couple of condos, a rental house in Florida, and now my retirement home. All along the way, I have acquired furniture and furnishings and discarded some as well.

 

My rule is to keep the good, get rid of the junk, and hang onto the sentimental. The good I consider to be good furniture including quality antiques and modern pieces, good furnishings such as crystal glasses, fine bone china and silverware but also quality everyday dishes and pots and pans.

 

In my case I bought a lot of fine art, paintings and sculptures, and only edited a few pieces by sending them to auction. I inherited a lot of fine books and bought additions to my library reflecting my own interests. I have an awful hard time with ditching books even after I have read them. I got rid of all my school books including undergraduate and law texts, except for some valuable ones which I donated to my law school, which was happy to offer me a generous tax receipt.

 

The sentimental things are the hardest to get rid of. If they are things I can display, they sit there reminding me daily of my past. If they are not, I file them away in boxes and drawers, to look at once in a while.

 

If I die in my home, my heirs are going to have a hell of a time getting rid of all this stuff.

[+ azdr0710]

not to be a cynical bleeding heart, but I can think of a few billion people who wish they had your woes.....

 

get a hold of yourself and move the heck on, doc!.....ask a few friends/relatives what they'd like......have one of these ebay 'agents' sell some of your stuff (for a commission, of course)......put stuff out on the curb and advertise it in the "free" section of craigslist ("curb alert!"....it goes in minutes, I swear!).....decide what you really need down at the new place (practical stuff, take measurements, guest stuff, kitchen requirements).....do either of your new friends need anything?......hire one of these "how to organize my closet" ladies??

Edited November 30, 2020 by azdr0710

[+ MysticMenace]

perhaps apply the Marie Kondo method?

[+ Charlie]

We have owned five houses, and never lived longer than 13 years in a house. The first three were actually within walking distance of one another, so the moving process was pretty easy, and could be done in stages. But when it came time to move from the east coast to the west coast, we realized that we had to simplify what got moved. We found a dealer who would buy furniture and other items that we really didn't want to spend the money to move 2500 miles, and we gave some things to the local Salvation Army resale store. The biggest problem was the books--we both have a hard time giving up a book, so we had a collection that went back to college days, some 4000 volumes in all. There were bookshelves on every floor of our three-story townhouse, not to mention on the shelves in the basement. We realized that we had to be ruthless: no one wants out-of-date textbooks or things that are falling apart, so they went literally into the trash (except for the ones we kept for sentimental reasons, like books written by people we knew). Public and school libraries were happy to get some of the good ones, and there was a book exchange we belonged to, that took books that other members might like, and we took none in return. We thought that no one would want old cookbooks, but were surprised to discover that re-sellers always have a market for them. We finally managed to get the collection down to 1200 items, which we boxed and put on the moving van. In the new house we were much more conservative: for one thing, we learned to borrow books from the public library instead of always buying and keeping them. Even so, by the time we were ready to move again, the collection had crept back up to almost 1800 volumes, so once again we pruned, but still ended up moving about the same number we had moved before. Of course, I still find myself looking for a book, only to realize that it was one of the books that I thought was expendable a few years ago, and now wish I still had.

[dbar123]

Just moved from Boston to Oregon...downsized to a 2br condo.

 

Be honest and ruthless. Donate the books. Sell off large pieces of furniture if you can. The antique market is for shit right now so don’t have high expectations.A dumpster is definitely your friend. Invite friends and coworkers to come over and take what they can use. At the end we finally called 1-800-got junk to take the dregs

[+ bigjoey]

We have owned five houses, and never lived longer than 13 years in a house. The first three were actually within walking distance of one another, so the moving process was pretty easy, and could be done in stages. But when it came time to move from the east coast to the west coast, we realized that we had to simplify what got moved. We found a dealer who would buy furniture and other items that we really didn't want to spend the money to move 2500 miles, and we gave some things to the local Salvation Army resale store. The biggest problem was the books--we both have a hard time giving up a book, so we had a collection that went back to college days, some 4000 volumes in all. There were bookshelves on every floor of our three-story townhouse, not to mention on the shelves in the basement. We realized that we had to be ruthless: no one wants out-of-date textbooks or things that are falling apart, so they went literally into the trash (except for the ones we kept for sentimental reasons, like books written by people we knew). Public and school libraries were happy to get some of the good ones, and there was a book exchange we belonged to, that took books that other members might like, and we took none in return. We thought that no one would want old cookbooks, but were surprised to discover that re-sellers always have a market for them. We finally managed to get the collection down to 1200 items, which we boxed and put on the moving van. In the new house we were much more conservative: for one thing, we learned to borrow books from the public library instead of always buying and keeping them. Even so, by the time we were ready to move again, the collection had crept back up to almost 1800 volumes, so once again we pruned, but still ended up moving about the same number we had moved before. Of course, I still find myself looking for a book, only to realize that it was one of the books that I thought was expendable a few years ago, and now wish I still had.

After living in the same home for 30 years, I faced the same issue with books. I had a large collection of gay books going back into the 1970’s. Missouri University at Kansas City has a large gay collection. I know the librarian and he came by and took box loads away. There were many he said were not in their collection and was happy to have them.

 

My surprise was he wanted old “bar magazine/weekly newspapers” as they told our story over time. He would have accepted old porn magazines as well but I had discretely disposed of them along with old videos.

[+ bigjoey]

Just moved from Boston to Oregon...downsized to a 2br condo.

 

Be honest and ruthless. Donate the books. Sell off large pieces of furniture if you can. The antique market is for shit right now so don’t have high expectations.A dumpster is definitely your friend. Invite friends and coworkers to come over and take what they can use. At the end we finally called 1-800-got junk to take the dregs

Yes, 1-800-got junk is highly recommended.

[DR FREUD]

Yes, throw the spices OUT. They are really only good for about three years then lose their potency.

[jeezifonly]

Having had to weed through my Mom’s mountains of memorabilia, knickknacks, stuff and furniture - thinning for putting her condo on the market, sorting “take or donate” in prep for her move across country to a smaller unit, moving day out, moving day in, and then after a brief illness and peaceful passing at 89, dividing the every day treasures and history pieces among the sibs, some of which are still consuming space in my house - I humbly offer this:

 

Discard with feverish abandon.

[Guest]

Start anew with furniture unless you need some pieces temporarily.

but take consumables like spices.

hire someone to assist with logistics including packing and unpacking. If you don’t want to do that and the move is a short distance, buy big rolling reusable plastic bins and make multiple small trips so you can view the project as “one bin at a time” rather than being overwhelmed.

Place your sheets in the dryer (if it’s being moved) so you won’t have to search for them when you’re exhausted.

[+ Hoover42]

I have a tiny place, so I have very little room for anything. So, I have learned to be ruthless when deciding whether to get rid of something.

 

Whenever I bring something new into the condo, I make the decision right then and there what I'm going to get rid of to make room for it; It's become such a habit that it doesn't really even take much mental energy.

 

My guiding principle is: if I haven't used it in over a year, then clearly I don't need it and out it goes. I have a box set aside for stuff that I'm getting rid of, and that box gets emptied as soon as it full by giving it away to neighbors, or by dropping it off at Goodwill; they literally have taken everything I've offered.

 

I realize that's just me, and most people wouldn't be able to do it. I just mention it here to give you another way to think about things.

 

With respect to your move, I would paraphrase that and say, if you haven't used it or enjoyed it recently, consider seriously whether you want to invest the money and effort to move it to your new place only to have it sit unused for countless years longer.

Edited December 1, 2020 by Hoover42

[jjkrkwood]

I find it always helpful to do a yearly PURGE now, getting rid of things I didnt use/wear in the past year. I learned this the HARD way after a massive downsizing in 2017... The less you have, the less you get used to having.

[rvwnsd]

Any of you move late in life?

Yes, I was 52 when I moved from San Diego to Phoenix four years ago. I had less than a week to prepare before the packers and movers arrived. My things were in storage for three months while I lived in corporate housing pending finding a permanent place to live. Once I found a permanent home my corporate housing ended and all of my stuff was delivered to my new living room. There was a sense of urgency to moving, as I could not move around my new place with all the boxes and stuff were put and/or given Here's what I took away from that experience:

 

...What do I do with all of my books? Seems silly to keep all of them. I don't know if I library wants them?

I kept most, but not all of them. If I had a connection to the book, I kept it. If not, I donated it.

 

...Should I rent or sell...

Rent or sell what?

 

...What furniture do I keep and what do I get rid of?...

Unless you have family heirlooms or irreplaceable vintage furniture, donate/gift all of it and buy new. Your existing furniture won't fit in the new place and you will replace it anyway, so why pay to move it?

 

...Should I dump all of my spices and get a new set of spices?...

Absolutely yes! They get stale and lose potency. Also, get rid of any food that is hanging around your cabinets and pantry. I'm certain there's a food drive in your area that would be happy to accept unopened, unexpired food. Anything that has been opened needs to go.

 

I would also do a purge of your clothes. You are moving to a different climate zone, so you won't need as many cool-weather and rain-oriented clothing in LA as you do in SF.

 

Lastly, the day one of my closet shelves collapsed under the weight of "stuff" I did a second purge. Never again do I want to hear a crash and realize my home is literally collapsing under the wight of "things."

[+ Charlie]

A cautionary note about saving old technology which you are still attached to. When a friend of mine retired and decided to move from the big old Victorian house that he and his late partner had lived in for 20 years in Philadelphia, to a cottage on the coast of Oregon, he decided not to move anything but personal items. One of those items turned out to be his collection of LP records. We rented a small U-Haul truck, and packed it with things like clothing and china, but the heaviest items were those damn boxes full of records. We drove the truck across the country, and unloaded everything into the cottage; the records were placed on shelves he purchased for that purpose. But he had neglected to bring a record player.

 

When he died in that cottage almost 30 years later, the records were still on those same shelves, untouched, just taking up space and gathering dust.

[+ Lucky]

My library is not taking donations of books "for the foreseeable future." But I join the chorus of those who encourage getting rid of most thins.

The NY Times today has an article somewhat related to this:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/01/realestate/renovating-after-a-break-up.html?action=click&module=Well&pgtype=Homepage&section=Real%20Estate

[Harryinny]

I find it always helpful to do a yearly PURGE now, getting rid of things I didnt use/wear in the past year. I learned this the HARD way after a massive downsizing in 2017... The less you have, the less you get used to having.

I do exactly that!

[cany10011]

This is a great thread and timely reminder for me to purge some clothes, books and magazines.

[Harryinny]

I've lived where I now live ever since I finished residency, almost 3 decades. I don't know what to do. What do I do with all of my books? Seems silly to keep all of them. I don't know if I library wants them? Should I rent or sell? What furniture do I keep and what do I get rid of? Should I dump all of my spices and get a new set of spices? I feel almost paralyzed about this. Basically all of my life since training has been in this house. Any of you move late in life? Any suggestions?

A number of acquaintances have done successful garage sales, of course you have to tag everything and so forth.

[JayCeeKy]

If you're like me, books are like my friends that have been with me for many years, and giving them up probably feels like a betrayal. But, they must go sooner-or-later (don't leave this task to your next-of-kin as they will assuredly toss them all in the nearest dumpster). First, I would commit to getting rid of most all the books (because as soon as you sit down and start making exceptions, you're gonna keep most of them). Then I would either call the nearest Medical School to see if either they want them (I'm assuming many of them are medical textbooks) or perhaps they could put a note on their student bulletin board that you are either selling them or giving them away (make an offer for the whole lot?). Or, I would put an ad on your local Craigslist (yes, it's still around) in their "Books" category for Free (or, for a token fee if they take the whole lot) - be sure to include photos of your most valuable books. If you have any novels or general interest books, put them in boxes and drop them off at Goodwill. When they're gone, you're most likely have regrets, but the cleaner, less cluttered living space will soon compensate you for your loss.

[MikeBiDude]

Yes, throw the spices OUT. They are really only good for about three years then lose their potency.

Absolutely yes! They get stale and lose potency.

Yes, yes, yes lose the spices. Visit a local Penzy’s here in SoCal after your move.

 

I make a traditional family “Tom and Jerry” at Christmastime. When I sometimes make them at my 94 yo aunt’s house, and ask for nutmeg...I get this. She has the same can last 40 years?

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I've lived where I now live ever since I finished residency, almost 3 decades. I don't know what to do. What do I do with all of my books? Seems silly to keep all of them. I don't know if I library wants them? Should I rent or sell? What furniture do I keep and what do I get rid of? Should I dump all of my spices and get a new set of spices? I feel almost paralyzed about this. Basically all of my life since training has been in this house. Any of you move late in life? Any suggestions?

 

Save books. They can help someone else. Give them away or sell them.

 

Otherwise, use this as the time to declutter and figure out what you really need vs what's just weighing you down.

 

Moving is the perfect way to decrapify your life. Look at it as a positive

[jjkrkwood]

We certainly have plently of time now for organizing and streamlining our homes. The other day I tackled a drawer I had forgotten about and found some Vuitton items I obviously had tucked away for safe keeping.... Safe keeping? Am I nuts ? Those items are going up on EBAY.