KensingtonHomo

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

Can you please point my unrealistic standards of beauty and fitness?

Your statement is not very tolerant or democratic. 

You said being handsome is “rare,” which if we generous let’s say it’s 10 percent. You only find 1 in 10 men attractive. That’s very unrealistic, as well as “intolerant and undemocratic.” And PA’s obsessed with youth and body composition that is probably achievable by 5-10% of the population. And that’s with steroids, HGH, filler, etc. 

Yet you’re both older and not in the shape of what you desire. Rather than question the way advertising and Hollywood has reduced beauty to a commodity you’re determined to naturalize it. Personally I feel more attractive now and I enjoy sex more with a wider variety of men than I did in my 20s. 

I feel almost sorry for men who are trapped in such a limited view of attractiveness and desire. 

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

I agree with you about what I perceive as handsome.

We know what in shape means and I agree with @pubic_assistance's concept.

So you realize that both you and @pubic_assistance have unreasonable and unrealistic standards for beauty and fitness? Perhaps you should then keep those opinions to yourself as they’re not widely shared, nor kind, nor useful to most people on the forum. 

That’s annoying. 

8 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Handsome is a high standard! In shape not so much specially in the gay community!

I'm honestly curious about where and with whom you interact. Most of my friends are conventionally handsome across a range of ages. My sense is you have an extremely narrow definition of handsome like @pubic_assistance has of being "in shape." 

I encourage you to read about how those standards get developed and normalized because it's not natural. It's advertising and media. 

7 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Sure, but you also understand that not everyone shares the same kinks.

You do you, sure, but also let others do themselves without judgement...  Especially on a board like this one.

My comment wasn't directed at anyone who would hire a straight guy. I was speaking about myself. 

Also, as we live in a hetero-patriarchal society, does that desire for straight men equal a "kink," or is it internalized homophobia?  That's nothing against any individual guy who hires straight guys or desires straight guys. It's a commentary on societal dynamics. 

On 1/30/2024 at 10:59 PM, BonVivant said:

Sure if you want to “be allowed” to give head to a str8 guy. No thanks. He like likes 🐈‍⬛🐈!!  Says so. Move on. 

I don't want to be "dominated" by a straight guy, or pay to blow him. Honestly, he should pay me. I'm very good at it. 

On 3/29/2024 at 9:37 PM, marylander1940 said:

That's usually the case but handsome clients happen once or twice per year according to what my escort friends tell me.

Handsome = someone they'll fuck for fee and date. 

Given just the people, I know who hire; I find it hard to believe that most escorts only see a handsome client once or twice a year. 

I don’t think Combs is comparable to anyone on here. He’s been in trouble with the law both - legally and civilly - for over 25 years. The current claims against him are part of a longstanding pattern, and I’m sure are at least partly true. 

DOH doesn’t care what anyone on here does. 

2 minutes ago, Marc in Calif said:

One would hope. However, when reviewers list only "Ask" in their rates, we rely on reviewers to tell us the approximate basic rate for 60 minutes, 90 minutes, etc. So I wish they'd enter the basic rate paid. Tips can vary a lot.

Not to go too off track - because Alex is great - but I'm not a big tipper. Like a few others have said, providers are setting their rates. If I get a massage at a spa, I tip well. In Alex's case, I felt he set his rate a bit too low. 

13 hours ago, Marc in Calif said:

Your review today says that you spent $150 for 60 minutes. Maybe you can change it to $200 to reflect the total amount.?

My thinking is that I put what was charged since a tip is optional. If I put $200, guys might assume that was the price. 

16 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

I'm making the presumption I'm not in consideration on their end when my request by either massage website private message or e-mail goes ignored. 

I appreciate the ones that spell it out - "don't try to contact me here - I don't respond to private messages", and take their advice to not do so. It's more and more dwindling meeting people without texting

Okay, if you're emailing people and avoiding texting, there's a good chance they're not seeing your messages or by the time they do they're already booked. Most providers prefer texting, so if you're sticking to email, you're going to get left behind. 

16 minutes ago, Marc in Calif said:

And you paid only $150 for all of this?

Yes. I told him he had to charge more. $150 for therapeutic I can see. But I told him he should go to $180 for erotic. I gave him $200. 

1 hour ago, Lohengrin1979 said:

Fascinating topic and not surprised at all that Pubic and Marylander have used it to mention weight and physical fitness. They just can’t resist. 

Yes, they're as predictable daylight savings time. 

I honestly feel for them on some level. People who judge others harshly usually treat themselves the same way. 

That said, I know I won't convince them that they're anything but savvy realists. But as someone who has friendly relationships with providers and providers who've been friends, I know that Jamie and Simon's explanation of their experience is closer to reality, e.g., some guys really enjoy their work and have enjoyable encounters with a wide range of clients. Some folk self-select for negative experiences. 

I contacted Alex at the last minute because I had a meeting canceled. He was prompt in responding to me, and we were able to connect.

In short, he was terrific. His apartment was very nice and clean. He was clean-shaven and blonder than his photos, which made him far more attractive. Alex was very welcoming and easy to speak with him. We had a nice chat before and at the start of the massage. Then, he asked if I wanted some quiet time, and we did.

He uses medium pressure, which is perfect for relaxing. The extras were wonderful, and I'll be seeing him again.

1 minute ago, marylander1940 said:

do you consider obesity to be a form of body dysmorphia? 

Elordi has a cute face but he's too slim for my taste. 

I consider obesity to be a public health issue resulting from a combination of agricultural policy, which has made inexpensive food extraordinarily calorie dense, and disordered (over) eating due to stress, lack of exercise, and chemicals put in food to make them addictive. Treating obesity as a personal failing is ahistorical, as we've seen rates skyrocket along with changes in work, food policy, closure of public space for exercise and recreation and - most importantly - Western governments disciplining labor so most people are doing far worse than their parents. 

8 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

That’s it, from someone @Jarrod_Uncutwho knows. Ask most guys who do sex work and they’ll say similar. It’s got nothing to do with looks or whether the client is ‘hot’ (however that’s defined, here I’m using it conventionally as in someone most people would say is attractive) or not. 

I get hired by all sorts of guys, old, young, large, small, able bodied, disabled, hot and not hot. In most instances I don’t know until they walk the door. If they’re attracted by me (and they’ve seen my advert, my pics, read about me etc so I’m assuming there’s at least a superficial attraction otherwise they wouldn’t be here) then that’s a turn on for me. If they become more turned on during the session, by what I’m doing then that’s even more of a turn on. And so the more fun they have with me the better it is.

While I'm conventionally attractive (not super-hot) for my age, the providers who I most enjoy bring the energy and generosity that @Jamie21 and @Jarrod_Uncut both espouse. I went for a massage yesterday, and the provider was much more attractive than his photos, which were just cute. The session went much further than a typical sensual massage because we had chemistry. Sexual chemistry is much more than appearance. It's pheromones, voice, personality, and countless other factors. We had a nice chat before and at the beginning of the massage. Afterward, we talked about how far it went, and he said he's attracted to older guys and what we liked about each other from our conversation and interaction. This was not romantic, but it was enjoyable for both of us.  

For me, if clients hire only "10s" who are likely obsessed with appearance and also go in thinking, "A guy that looks like this would never fuck me," then that will be your experience. If you hire attractive guys who also enjoy their work, love providing pleasure and find a variety of types attractive, your experience will be different.

16 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Based on what he has shared with us we know he's in great shape and masculine. Certainly, a DILF! I think what he's trying to say is that he'd rather hire guys who are very hot by conventional standards like Instagram models, jocks, etc. 

Well, I could claim that I'm a dead ringer for Jacob Elordi and all you have to go on is my word. "Conventional standards" for what passes as hot - particularly Insta models - are actually guys who are taking steroids, HGH, and have eating disorders. Over the past 20 years, men have begun to show disordered eating and body dysmorphia at rates comparable to women. 

1 hour ago, DynamicUno said:

Considering the OP stated this has happened "consistently", it would appear he's had this happen with more than one provider.  If it were a one-off event I'd guess it was the provider's issue, but if it's happened multiple times it would appear to be something in the OP's manner of communication.  The OP's other posts indicate a pattern of difficulties communicating with providers, so I'd have to question if his overall approach is not clearly showing his interest or making him seem difficult to work with, or indecisive, or something more.

I have to agree. No offense to the OP but perhaps you're coming off (especially in text where there's no voice or facial expression) as far less interested than you are. I'm not wealthy and have had the exact same exchange you describe but never been blacklisted. The distinction may be that I aim to be very warm if I remain interested and cannot hire due to economics or a conflict. 

16 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

An escort for the night is working mostly during sex with someone he's only pretending to be attracted to.

The rest of the performance is seemingly less complicated to act like you enjoy the client's company.  So I think the compensation at a lower hourly rate is appropriate. I agree. .. a nice dinner or the offer to accompany someone to an event is not part of the pay scale...but it does make the experience more tolerable when the client is particularly dull or disgusting.

This makes me wonder how attractive or pleasant you are IRL. You seem to think if you weren't paying, the providers you engage would cross the street to avoid you.

But I think a lot of us have nice, collegial, and enjoyable conversations and time spent with providers. Do you assume everyone you hire is not attracted to you? In my experience, some guys seem genuinely attracted, and others seem to enjoy our company. We don't hire again if we don't get either of those vibes. 

But this is part and parcel of some clients' views that men are solely visually attracted and that attraction is only skin deep. Attraction is complex. In some cases, a guy who is interesting or can make me laugh becomes sexually desirable, and that's not accounting for pheromones, sexual chemistry, etc., all of which are not primarily based on appearance. 

9 hours ago, jmichaeliii said:

I find that to be the case too.

Same. You can tell the guys who really love sex and love doing it with a variety of people and don't have a ton of hang-ups. Some of them are strikingly beautiful but most are more average good looking or a specific type. I also find there's more variety in body type and fitness regimes. They tend to be active in sports or exercise that's mostly outside of the gym. 

1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said:

it seems that when the hotter ones travel, they usually end up at an overnight/party/yacht trip with a rich guy. Many traveling escorts most definitely market themselves as a luxury good.

I'm sure they do see themselves as a luxury good. If they are traveling as a companion, they are also receiving a ton of free luxury goods and experiences. But I doubt many of the guys who live in Bushwick and do sex work to supplement their income as a dancer, artist, etc. see themselves that way. We often run into guys we hire at venues here in the city, and they're not living luxury lives. 

I'm seeing $300-$500 for the first hour, and the second hour is nearly always discounted. So $500-$900 for two hours. 

That said, I disagree with the OP's sentiment that hiring is a "luxury." The Median household income in NYC is $77,000, which works out to roughly $42/hour. So, an escort is already making 6-8 times the hourly wage of the average person. 

Now, if an escort averages two clients per day, even at the lower end of $300/hour, they'd be making over $150,000 a year—nearly double the median. 

On 3/20/2024 at 9:54 AM, pubic_assistance said:

You should ask @KensingtonHomo He seems to consider himself the gatekeeper of all things homosexual.

My understanding is that there are more than a few bisexual members here, so I don't understand how our experience, and commentary about hiring pros and being offered discounts is going to be drastically different from that of the 100% homosexual community.

The only thing I'm interested in "gatekeeping" is your nasty commentary about people's appearance or sexual proclivities. I have many bi and pan friends who are engaged in the larger queer community - attending events, going to shows, organizing and activism, and patronizing queer-owned businesses. From how you describe your life, you're not doing any of that. So, your experience and commentary reflect a narrow, jaundiced view of what is attractive and erotic for most queer men. 

It's really easy not to be cruel. About 80 percent of the guys lusted over on here hold virtually no appeal for me, so I do not comment on them, their appearance, or "yuck the yum" of people who hire them. I am not attracted to the guys you think are hot. But I don't belittle you about hiring significantly younger men who fit a very narrow Western ideal of beauty. I also don't drag the guys who are into bodybuilders or "straight" guys. 

I have not seen him for a massage but as an escort he's fantastic. He's very kind and present. Very sensual. I would imagine he's the same as a masseur. 

I wish I lived closer to @Jamie21 and @Simon Suraci. You both seem like gems.