Simon Suraci

Your relationship is client-provider. I recommend keeping it that way. It can get really messy trying to change the nature of the relationship to a personal one. More than likely it will negatively impact your hiring relationship where either or both of you are uncomfortable with the status quo after introducing personal feelings, and you both lose out on what you want. You’re willing to pay for his time, which you already do. Now you just want a different kind of service during that time. No harm, no foul. He’s kissing you as part of his service. He’s delivering value to you giving you something you like for compensation. Some masseurs are comfortable with kissing, some aren’t. You’re fortunate that he is. Is this making it too romantic for you? Can you enjoy the kissing for what it is, or is it too personal or romantic for you? You said he doesn’t escort. Is that an assumption or have you discussed this in detail with him? By escort I mean capital E Escort, as in accompanying a client to social and leisure activities. Consider asking him a different way than “do you escort?” That word means different things to different people. For a lot of us the term is interchangeable with “sex worker”, which carries a lot of baggage. Escorting may or may not include sex. It often does include sex before/during/after social and leisure activities, but merely having sex with a client for an hour is not truly escorting. It’s sex work. Going on some form of a date with a client for a fee is escorting. Sooo…you could propose to your masseur paying him for his time to do __xyz__ platonic activities together. I would avoid explicitly romantic situations and sex, at least at first. Keep it to platonic activities and see what he says. The worst he could say is no. Ask yourself if you could handle him saying no. Would you still feel comfortable with the status quo of seeing him for massage and kissing? If you can confidently and honestly say “yes”, then go for it! If he does agree to entertain you for compensation for activities other than massage, it can (but may not) lead to more over time. Just be clear about your mutual boundaries up front. Let him take the lead on pushing or breaking those boundaries, never you. And if he never does, be ok with it and enjoy hiring him for his company. You’re only paying him for the things he has agreed to do with you. If you can’t handle navigating these boundaries and respecting a potential “no”, it’s best to keep to the status quo. You don’t want to mess up a good thing.

I enjoy it when clients give me their clear, enthusiastic consent. The more ways you can indicate you like what is happening in the session, the better. For example: Moans, groans, gasps, whimpers, swearing, and other vocalizations expressing your pleasure. These are the best. It makes it very clear you are enjoying yourself and want more. It’s more difficult to misinterpret these than anything else. Changes in your breathing. I don’t mean falling asleep, per se, but that is fine too. Short intense breaths when you’re excited, or long intentional breaths when you’re focused on relaxing your body, like a meditation. Heavy sighs. Vocalizations with your breathing and sighs. Raising your hips, when face down or face up. It doesn’t take much to get the message across. You can be subtle. Shift the angle of your hips, arch your lower back a little. Shift slightly from side to side. Some men are extreme about this. I call it stink bugging, and it’s comical. Some go so extreme they end up on all fours. You don’t need to go that far. With your hip signals, go for the verbal equivalent of a whisper rather than a scream. Adjusting your cock downward when face down to provide access. Or start on the table positioned this way. Many of my clients do. Squeezing my hand when I am holding yours. Interlocking fingers. Reciprocal touching when my body is on/near your hand, like brushing against my torso or lightly stroking my cock. Gently touching my legs or other parts of my body. Not “grabbing”, aggressively “pulling”, scratching, slapping, etc. Gentle, sensual touch is best. Even better when clients verbalize directly like, “Is it ok to touch you?” or “I like that.” I’m sure I’ll think of more. There are so many ways to indicate interest and pleasure. Lots of subtle cues. Masseurs willing to do more on the sensual and erotic spectrum will clearly get the message and indulge you. Those who won’t will refrain, but it’s pretty hard to misinterpret all these signs. When your masseur is not responding in any way to your cues, it means he is not going there. Let it go and move on. Enjoy the massage for what it is.

Suggestion: merge with the topic below. This is a duplicate topic. rentmasseur is combining erotic and sensual on the 20th Bear in mind political discussions are not allowed. Yes, it’s quite obvious what is going on with the date but we can’t talk about it here on the forums.

Great news, thank you for clarifying all these points! You’ve shown yourself to be an experienced, knowledgeable, and thoughtful client. Always a positive to hear about these win-win scenarios. No need to edit, especially if you have their ok to post. Understood on limits of what you can post on Reddit, makes sense. To all else, enjoy your hiring and please be mindful about compensating your masseurs equitably. We can discuss the nuances of how on other threads. I’ll butt out now. Back to your regularly scheduled programming re: favorite masseur hires of 2024

@Typical I have a lot of opinions about your post above, but it’s off topic here so I will hold off. I don’t want to sidetrack this topic more than I already have. I’m happy to discuss on a thread on that topic or privately.

@Dr.Daddy thanks for sharing your story. Sounds like you had a great time! The classic massage turns into hardcore sex fantasy. Did you pay these guys equitable rates like you would for a full service escort? Or tip as if you were? Or at least offer? I hate to be a ‘nag’ about it but I feel a responsibility to advocate for our profession. Without the context of what you’re paying, stories like this perpetuate the expectation that masseurs can/should offer escort services for a massage fee, which is often around half the going rate of an escort. It puts tons of pressure on masseurs to give way more than they should for their fees and on the other side of the coin it devalues escort services. I realize it’s a fantasy come true and it’s supposed to be fun, but this is one of many example stories influencing how clients think, which in turn has real life consequences for professional masseurs and escorts. It makes our jobs a lot more difficult.

3hr max response time under any circumstances is unrealistic. Give it a day.

RentMasseur He’s block happy, but in the opposite direction than usual. Blocks you if you’re not available to give him a massage when he asks for one. Super weird. Any experience with Pete?

@moonlight It depends on your relationship. How close were you to him in the past? A casual acquaintance, friend-of-a-friend, or someone you barely knew, or someone you haven’t seen in many years? I personally would have no problem seeing someone like this as a client. Anyone particularly close to me in the past or present I would not see. My estranged best friend, for example, I would definitely not see. People in my acquaintance zone over the years would have to number in the thousands. A lot of them I would see if they wanted, of course respecting their discretion, and expecting the same from them toward me. One of my clients (70s) told me he saw a family friend’s son (40s) advertising on RentMen. He knew the guy as a child and their families did a lot together. The provider’s parents and family don’t know he escorts. After coming across the RentMen ad, the client asked the parents some casual questions about the provider, how he’s doing, what work he is doing, etc. The parents clearly believe their son is doing some other kind of work, and that’s something the client should respect and not meddle in. The client is attracted to the provider and considered for a moment hiring him but the previous relationship made it too weird. This is one case where I would agree. It’s too weird. Everyone is a case-by-case though. Privacy goes both ways. Professional providers will not violate your privacy and you are not violating his by hiring him. Avoid speaking about it in your mutual circles. Should he be uncomfortable for any reason, he can choose to say no. We’re all adults here. I would at least give him the courtesy of telling him who you are ahead of time, though so he can make that decision for himself. Being open and honest up front saves you both the respective indignities of being caught off guard in the moment, and having to be let down face to face in such a personal, raw way. He won’t ‘out’ you as a man that hires, or a man into men. Really, he has at least as much to lose by mentioning anything to mutual contacts. If he’s a professional, he will keep quiet about the whole thing, whether he chooses to see you or not. Do you interact with him now? Would you want to interact with him in the future outside the context of hiring him? If the answer is yes, tread lightly. There’s a lot more at stake. If the answer is no, I see very little for you to lose. The worst thing that would happen is he says no, and that’s that. Nothing is really any different than it was before. You have something to gain, however, if he says yes, and so does he. No harm, no foul. Most people are decent and good. I would expect no harm to befall you for asking. Show respect. Maintain healthy boundaries. All will be well.

In the United States, the term ‘mulato’ is racist and offensive. Full stop. Any cursory google search will confirm.

https://rent.men/Elioknightxxx One of my clients requested Elio for a threesome during his travel dates to our city. I reached out on the client’s behalf. I texted both his phone numbers. One of them is WhatsApp, which I don’t use. After no response for a few days I tried messaging him on RentMen. Same thing, days later and no response. I sent him a link to my ad for reference with my first message. I see he viewed my RentMen profile so he definitely got the message. He just chose not to respond. Hope you all have better luck with communicating with him. He just ignored me after multiple attempts. 😔 If anyone sees him, please share. Expired thread for reference. He’s on RentMasseur too.

Clients, show us, then. Take that cake!

Damian takes the cakes. And displays them mightily.

I got the email too. This is not about RentMasseur responding to client confusion over sensual vs erotic services. It’s certainly a real concern and many of you have hit the nail on the head saying there is no standard regarding sensual or erotic. Fine. That’s the official story. This is sadly just one symptom of many, like Visa blacklisting adult businesses, and PornHub responding to crazy new laws requiring adults to fork over their privacy to view adult content by no longer offering access in those states. The real problem is how people in the United States publicly treat sex work. Plenty of us privately respect and enjoy it, but publicly decry its very existence. We will only see more of this behavior until the majority of our society supports policies that acknowledge sex work as work and sex workers as dignified members of society with the right to offer services to meet the most basic and universal of human needs. Also, human trafficking is not synonymous with all sex work, as many argue and believe. If we were safe enough to be more open about sex work services, it would be a lot easier to identify and prosecute human trafficking.

The problem with this question is that the OP expects a valuable service above and beyond a massage for free. ANY time of day works just fine when you’re offering to pay your provider’s rate for the service you want. Expecting him to give you what others will gladly pay appropriate rates for is a recipe for disappointment. Find out what it takes to be his priority and agree to it. Is it a generous tip? A specific rate? That way you get to be the one he’s saving it for that day. Let some other moe be the disappointed one begging for freebies. Your provider turns him down in order to honor you by making sure he can optimally perform for you, at whatever time of day works best for you. You might get lucky here and there on a day or time when he isn’t otherwise committed, and feels like he can afford to entertain you. When he does, tip well and he will be more likely to give you a high level of service the next time. We self regulate every day around who is booking what and when. There is no consistently good time of day to ask for - or expect - freebies because clients are dictating these things. We respond and adapt accordingly. Ask yourself: “do I value this service? Then ask yourself: “how much?” Then ask your provider: “how much?” Make a decision based on the answers.

Newell is a friend of mine and I know him well. We work together here and there. I’ve mentioned this sentiment to him before, of him looking somewhat intimidating in his ads. He really isn’t like that in person at all. He’s a good guy. Happy to answer any questions about Newell.

@maninsoma Thanks for sharing. By and large, a lot of providers are delivering high quality service in line with what they are advertising (wherever on the spectrum they fall). When you’re unsure, you can find plenty of excellent recommendations right here on the forums. That frees clients up from having to initiate any form of the awkward “erotic services” discussion whether they be blunt or subtle about it. The best case is knowing what is reasonably in the range of what to expect so you don’t even need to have that part of the conversation at all! You won’t always have intel from these boards or a personal referral to go on. Sometimes you’re hiring someone you have no idea if he will deliver what you want. I think it’s perfectly ok to ask, whether you be subtle or blunt, but also it’s reasonable for a provider to avoid clients asking them to put their livelihood at risk. There is no right way to go about it. Live and learn. Calculate the level of risk you’re willing to take on a new guy and take the plunge. Worst case scenario is you lose a little money and don’t hire him again. Best case, you find some really good men this way and enjoy hiring them over and over. You have a lot more to gain, I think, in the long run, by tolerating a little bit of uncertainty up front.

Clients are wary of being taken advantage of. They don’t want to waste their time and money on masseurs unwilling to meet their needs. I get it, law enforcement is a real concern. Clients hiring what they want is also a real concern. US laws make for an inefficient market. There is no perfect solution. Accept the clients you feel comfortable seeing. Decline the ones you don’t. There is no standardized way to communicate about our services, nor is there a standardized way to offer them. You can’t ask the market to conform to your preferences regarding communication up front. It’s a fool’s errand. Some clients are more forward, some less so. Good luck changing that in either direction. Until we in the US have more sensible laws concerning sex work, we providers unfortunately must navigate the murky world of communication about sex work services, making our own calls about who we see. It sucks, but it is what it is.

Here is the thread: Your ideal orgasms per day

This spin off sexual well being topic is for the more open minded folks among us. The previous thread question was how many times “CAN” you cum per day? The question itself implies that more is always better and that tally marks are the measure of a man’s pleasure and virility. Like it’s a contest. How limiting. Feel free to disagree. The other topic is for you, then (linked at the bottom). Here we will discuss more out of the box, creative, and deeper approaches to sex and orgasm. Maybe it will challenge you to think about sex in ways you’ve never considered before. “How many times do you WANT to cum in a day? And HOW?” These more interesting and nuanced questions are about having more satisfying sex versus strictly “quantity” of sex measured superficially in terms of number of orgasms over the course of a given day. Men can have satisfying sex with many orgasms, few orgasms, no orgasms, and different types of orgasms. You can also have a lot of unfulfilling, lackluster orgasms in a day. Quantity does not parallel quality. Everyone is different. The question is what does it for you beyond an oversimplified X number of orgasms per day? If you were able to cum as much as you want and how you want every day that you felt otherwise well enough to do so, and you had no limitations like work schedule or family responsibilities, what would be your ideal scenario? Under what circumstances, types of stimuli (or lack of), and how long are your refractory periods (if any)? What types of orgasms? Long? Short? Intense? Mild? Ecstasy over the course of a long, multi orgasmic state? Ejaculatory, dry, or prostate? With partner(s), or strictly self pleasure? Any amount of edging? Can you cum with no physical stimulation at all, and would you want to? What about orgasms experienced primarily through stimulation in and around your ass? Or balls? Other erogenous zones? What about full body orgasms? What types of stimulus would you like? Any combinations or variations of the above? Have you ever achieved something close to your ideal day, and how did it differ from what you wanted or expected? What makes for the most satisfying sex to you? What makes for the most satisfying orgasms to you? Here is the other thread: How many times can you cum in a day?

Fair enough. I’ll have to start a separate thread then. It’s interesting to some of us, and not to others.

@AngusStevensxxx thank you for posting. You are brave. Good on you for defending yourself here. Nobody has the right to behave this way. It’s egregious. We here on the forums who know you from in person meets, phone calls, and other connections online will vouch for your integrity and your work.

LOL, don’t knock what you’ve never tried! It feels amazing. A lot of men never get there over the course of their lives. What a shame. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea either. That’s fine. I might suggest diverging slightly from the topic discussion from “CAN” to “How many times do you WANT to cum in a day? And HOW?” If you were able to cum as much as you want and how you want, what would be your ideal? Under what circumstances, types of stimuli (or lack of), and how long are the refractory periods (if any). What types of orgasms? Long? Short? Intense? Mild? Ejaculatory, dry, prostate? Any mix or order of any of the above? Can you cum with no physical stimulation at all, and would you want to? Have you ever achieved your ideal day, and how did it differ from what you wanted or expected?

It’s rare, but possible. My clients practicing their tantric sexual techniques can orgasm many times in an hour with or without ejaculation(s). Often most/all of these orgasms are non-ejaculatory. When you get into the right rhythm and you have developed the practice over time, multiple orgasms are possible. 8-12 in a session is not crazy. It takes experience, intense self awareness, and the right situation to get there.

“Boys who brunch”, perhaps? 🤔