Simon Suraci

Yes, absolutely. I attended Friday afternoon through Monday morning and it worked out great. There’s something organized to do with the group each day. InnDulge is a ton of fun, but it books up months in advance. Call just in case. I booked a year in advance this time to make sure I could get a larger room type to better accommodate my massage table. If InnDulge doesn’t work out, you can stay at many other nearby hotels and hang out for free around the pool at InnDulge as a guest. Be my guest 😉 We’d love to meet you, @DamizzonNYC!

^Agree. There are many ways to approach FinDom, from the alpha side and the sub side. Both can set parameters and boundaries around what they will and won’t do, limits to their spending, using a certain card or payment method, etc. It takes healthy communication up front before engaging in FinDom scenarios. You can scale up over time after developing trust and understanding with a series of lower stakes interactions. Either side can behave recklessly, and the potential for exploitation is real. Clients choose to engage in FinDom and they are in complete control up front. FinDom clients are not victims. It’s all an illusion, an act. For a successful series of interactions, the sub must suspend his disbelief. Doing so for a skilled dom generates real feelings which scratch his itch. You won’t understand it fully unless you have that particular itch. Most people will never have it, and that’s ok. That doesn’t make those that do have the itch any less valid for having it or scratching it. Clients and providers, including @ICTJOCK please stop judging other people’s kinks and fetishes you don’t understand. There are safer, more responsible ways to indulge clients into this particular kink. It’s not for everyone, and that’s ok. Not every provider will be good at, or interested in providing this service. That is also ok. Live and let live.

You are the only one responsible for your own health. Measure your own risk tolerance and take steps to protect yourself accordingly. If you can’t tolerate any risk at all, abstain altogether - from hiring and from personal hookups. Some crazies contact me asking about status, health records, test results, photos of my prescriptions, etc. There is no pleasing these guys. They want to outsource responsibility for their own sexual health to providers. Then berate me when I don’t share sensitive info saying I am lying and blah blah blah. I am not lying but in the past when I go out of my way to give them everything they demand they still won’t hire, so I don’t see the point of going through the motions. So I just decline. It’s like no “proof” is good enough. I offer to take a rapid test in person if they provide it. Then they go away. These types get really upset and badmouth providers. Clients, please don’t be one of these guys. Take responsibility for yourself.

I’m partnered. He works in an entirely different industry, so no collaboration or crossover potential and that works well for us both. He knows all about what I do, and he’s supportive, although it’s not easy being in a relationship with someone doing this kind of work. We’ve had our struggles over the years related to my work, plus all the typical couple problems most people have. Clients need not fear they are the “leftovers” from another relationship. The professionals among us prioritize our clients. We sacrifice parts of ourselves to be able to do what we do. That’s part of what you’re paying for. Perhaps less sex with partner(s) than we would otherwise like to have, and when we would like to have it. We forgo personal plans in favor of a client’s schedule. We devote time and energy to making our business and clients a priority, sometimes encroaching on our partners and how this business affects them. It’s balance. It’s difficult keeping everyone happy making each of them feel like they are your number one priority. Despite the challenges between my partner and I, we keep one another grounded. A good couples therapist helps a lot too. I highly recommend those of you in relationships seeing one, especially when you’re not already in crisis. That’s the best time. I don’t talk about my partner or mention I am partnered when I’m with clients, as I believe it can be unnecessarily distracting, or at worst, ruin someone’s fantasy of me being fully “theirs” for a time. I mention him in my RentMen interview, but that’s about the most you would hear unless a client asked me about him. A lot of my clients ask about my relationship status. I share as much as they want to hear. I’m an open book. If it ruins your fantasy, don’t ask! My partner has many chronic health conditions. He is only able to work part time for now due to his health and disability status. His work at home helping to manage our farm frees me up to offer services in San Diego and in other cities when I travel. I truly love my work, and I continue for many other reasons, but being able to support our household and other family motivates me the most. Some of my very close long term clients ask regularly about my partner. They’re genuinely interested in my family and how things are going. I gladly share and update them. It humanizes the whole exchange. We’re all just people with problems, needs, quirks, and desires. There’s something really special about making these kinds of deeper connections. It’s all a lot more intimate in a way, and that makes for even better sessions that keep getting better over time. When you open up and exchange a lot of personal things, you get to know someone really well. I can’t recommend this approach for every provider or every client. Sometimes having a professional boundary is the most healthy dynamic, but every now and then you meet a client that really connects with you, that cares, and comes to love you as a friend without muddling the hiring relationship boundaries. A lot of these clients are hiring me for more than a couple hours, perhaps half a day, overnight, or longer. There’s more time in those sessions to connect over long conversations. Those are the best. As others have mentioned in other threads, you don’t hire to support someone’s family needs, however noble those may be. You hire for yourself, to meet your needs. How your provider spends, gives, or saves is really nobody’s business but his own. It is nice to know sometimes, however, that you’re connecting with a real person. Learning a little about their personal life, including their partner, facilitates that connection. Should our circumstances change I would probably go back to my ‘normal’ professional full time career working as an architect, assuming he could work full time too. *sigh* it is what it is for now.

Not really. a provider listing FinDom is advertising to the 99% of their base that he offers something the 99% are turned off by or afraid of. A lot of clients fail to see it for what it is: an offer to provide one of many sexual services. Rather, they see it as a requirement, a preference, or an exclusive offering (not true most of the time). At best, the 99% do not take the provider seriously. At middle, they are turned off. At worst, they are scared, like it’s a threat to steal all their money at gunpoint. That’s not what FinDom is, or how it works. It takes effort, commitment, and creativity to do it well. FinDom subs want providers who can do it well. The uber small minority of clients actually interested in FinDom would just as easily find providers on niche sites, or ask providers if they offer it. Sure, it would be nice to read it as a preselected option on a profile, as something a provider has experience with and offers as a service, as mundane as fisting or roleplay. But the typical client does not see it that way. Fight or flight takes hold, judgement washes over their brains, and they absolutely lose their minds. So yeah, I view listing FinDom on a profile as a liability rather than an asset. Unless the profile is on a niche site catering to a specific client audience. Most clients are not mature enough to see it for what it is - simply a menu option, one they are neither encouraged nor compelled to choose. Re: providers suggesting FinDom services out of the blue to a new client. This is weird. I see no reason to bring it up unless the client asked or indicated in some way that he is interested in FinDom services. This is a red flag. I would be concerned about the provider suggesting or pushing FinDom, but not at all concerned with the provider listing it a menu option.

Yes. Very attractive clients are in the minority but you see all kinds of people in this business. People have needs. At the end of the day, it’s a job. I’m here to serve their needs, and I enjoy doing it. That dynamic doesn’t change at all, wherever a client falls on a conventional attractiveness scale.

Sounds like a functioning and relatively efficient market to me. Price discovery is a low friction process. Fewer legal barriers make it all possible. As for the many hours or days worth of services for the price of one hour … maybe this is a cultural difference, but if I operated this way in the US, I would go broke in no time! It’s not personal, just an economic reality. No judgment to the clients or providers who had a great times together in the UK. Sounds like everyone involved was getting what they wanted and needed without exploitation. Good for you. To all clients hiring in the US, please do not apply UK or European cultural norms or expectations to us. Many of us make a full time living doing this work. We’re not all students paying off our debt for only a year or two, or living in subsidized housing, or casually seeing who we can meet for thrills. We have bills to pay, we’ve got mouths to feed. Ain’t nothing in this world for free!

LOL. PM me. He’s open to lots of things. I’ve been quite up and personal with him working together to verify that yes, he is a natural ginger... all over. What “evidence” do you need? 😆 He’s partial to wearing hats so maybe not obvious clothed, at quick glance. We are looking forward to doing some bdsm related scenes together for a client soon. I am sure we can arrange something.

Last year was my first PS weekend. I came alone. I felt this same way at first: Then the rest of the weekend it was easier to open up and socialize. I didn’t get to talk to everybody, and with some I only met briefly or chatted with a few minutes the whole weekend because there is so much going on. I wish I had more time with more members last year, but I’ve been in touch with several of you in person, by text, online, and by phone in the months following. The good news is no matter how little or much you interact with any particular member over the weekend, you can continue to build your connections long after. PS is a great way to spark up conversations and make those connections, however deep or shallow they initially may be. You can’t hide behind a screen name here. It’s real people being themselves in the moment, and that’s pretty refreshing. The other good news is that members attending these trips are the cream of the crop. They’re the most welcoming, social, friendly, supportive, and fun of the whole lot. True, some are lurkers or rarely post, and that’s ok. They’re fun too! Everyone is there to have a good time. Remember that even the most social among us are shy or nervous at times. Once you break the ice with one or two, it’s very easy to make friends with many others. So say hello. Anyone wanting to chat with me please come up and say hello. I don’t bite… at least not until we establish consent. My masseur/escort bud Newell plans to attend the dinner again. I’ll update the group closer to the dates. He’s probably only staying for 1-2 nights, as he gets restless on these trips. Say hello to him at the dinner. He’s a tall ginger hulk but very friendly. Newell is a bit shy about coming up and chatting with new people, but very easy to talk to if you initiate a conversation.

True, @pubic_assistance by not paying you’re leaving some of the dynamics to chance in a semi-public setting. It’s not truly public as a bathhouse is limited to 18+ male presenting people specifically there to cruise and be cruised, and paying for the privilege. Anyone can walk up to you in a park for free, but only this specific group of people can do so in a bathhouse. Also, you can’t be naked or walk around in a towel in public, at least not safely. So I see this as a semi-public setting. I agree paying is the one way to get exactly what the OP wants while maintaining 100% control. It gives you say over the boundaries. You can be picky, if you want to, about who is watching, for how long, what they do or don’t do, or if they participate in any way. Not paying, you may have to deal with saying ‘no’ or swatting a hand away, or temporarily pausing while the guy not respecting your boundaries moves on. Then you can resume. Annoying, but that’s the trade off. The downside to paying for this kind of scene is you lack the true spontaneity of people stumbling upon you and genuinely interested in watching what’s going on. Part of the fun is feeling like you’re doing something transgressive and that you’re holding the voyeurs’ interest by what you’re doing. Paying a voyeur doesn’t guarantee this dynamic, but it works if you can embrace the fantasy and suspend thoughts about whether the hired guy is truly into it or just indulging you. Sometimes voyeur scenes are about being “discovered”, “caught in the act”, or being viewed secretly, like from a crack in a wall or a keyhole, or through one way glass. Sometimes proximity is arousing, like someone stroking their dick two feet away from your face as they enjoy you play with your partner. It looks different ways. Pay if you want 100% complete control. Or don’t pay, but be prepared to set and enforce boundaries.

It varies. Different places, different nights of the week. There’s always that guy who, for whatever reason ignores or doesn’t understand boundaries. I can’t say one experience represents all, or that things are a lot different from years ago vs now. I don’t think much has changed. It varied then, it varies now. Whatever the situation, each member has the power to establish and enforce his own boundaries. No means no. Nobody is beholden to another for sex, touch, or attention. For 1:1 time with another visitor, it’s best to get a room. That’s what they’re for, although some clubs call them “changing rooms” …with TVs, and beds… 🤣 …maybe for legal reasons.

Personally, I don’t care. Prospective clients ask for various pics. I send them. Sometimes they hire me. Sometimes they don’t. I’m not bothered. People don’t hire me because I’m the hottest guy on the grid. So-and-so’s dick is bigger, so-and-so has rippling abs. Whatever. They hire me because they like me for me. You can’t communicate that in a photo, or a hundred. That’s why I don’t really mind. I know clients best matched to me will find me and hire me over and over. That’s my bread and butter business. So what if they’re jerking off to my photos? More power to them.

A bathhouse is more fun when you’re open to other partners joining in some capacity, but you can still enjoy the exhibitionism aspect with whatever rules you have around your play. Bathhouses are places for play, yes, but also for consensual play. I disagree with @pubic_assistance on this one. Maintain your boundaries and you will be fine. It’s ok to say no to someone’s advances verbally or nonverbally. You can be polite but firm about it too. “No, thank you” goes a long way. Swatting a hand/dick/whatever away is clear enough for most people when your mouth is occupied or you can’t see who it is or where it’s coming from. I see no reason why you couldn’t go at it in front of an audience and leave the area if/when someone persists in violating whatever boundaries you set. It’s the perfect cheap thrill and you’re still 100% in control. Same goes for when you go alone. Maintain your boundaries and have fun!

It’s a one of a kind place to dish on all the things you might not be able or willing to do on mainstream social media or IRL. PLUS everything else too 😊

Two years ago I threw into the ring: some cellulite lotion and a package of pasties (the kind for your nipples, not the kind you eat). Plus a bottle of booze. My stepmom didn’t understand why the pasties were so funny. She drank the booze. This year my brother in-law received a pair of enormous bright red bloomers and a hand massager. My sister took the bloomers and waved them around from side to side saying “Olé, olé!” with my nieces and nephews charging into the fabric. My other brother in-law received a pair of spangly women’s sandals. $5 on a two for one special at the drugstore. They fit, they looked surprisingly good on him, and he said they were comfortable. So he wore them the rest of the day! My mother in-law received the other pair. My favorite white elephant gift of all time was a machete from co-workers at my old day job, of all places. Had to steal it back from my boss. Good times.

Maybe this was a misunderstanding. I was quoting a provider presumably, not a client. I agree, most clients are good people. Providers should stay in business because they truly enjoy what they do, and leave the profession when it no longer suits them. When the negatives outweigh the positives, that’s certainly a strong reason to retire. Clarification: by escape their misery, I simply meant leave the profession. Work doing something else for the right balance of positives to negatives to make it work for their life.

Given or received, what are your best white elephant gifts? Why? Happy Holidays everyone! Love, Simon

You get it! Some here could read this post, take it to heart, and escape their misery. Not everyone is so sensible, unfortunately.

Same here, 100%. Couldn’t have said it better myself!

I would read nothing into it. You’re still in contact, with all signs of him interested in meeting you for a session. Green means go. Try not to overthink it. Have fun!

I have a great time doing overnights, but only with regulars I know and trust. They wipe me out for the next day and it takes me a few days to recover my sleep schedule. Overnights with a new client are a huge gamble and I rarely do them. I charge a premium for a new client wanting an overnight. You have to click for these to work well. Mutual consideration and respect go a long way. One of my regulars prefers overnights starting late at his hotel while he’s in town. In no particular order: Therapeutic massage time on my table. Sometimes only 30 mins to work a problem spot. Sometimes an hour or two. We fuck for about two hours straight. Yes, it’s true, we can go that long with only a few five minute breaks, and some flip flopping along the way. He loves bottoming so much that’s what we do for 90% of the fuck time. And to think… he used to be a strict top before he met me! Often in the wee hours before we get to sleep: Lots of cuddle time, chatting, sharing. Golden Girls quoting. Kvetching. Kissing. Often leading to round two. Or one of us wakes the other up for round two. More cuddling. Spooning him to sleep. Sleep time. Might only last 2-4 hours. With other clients, longer. He typically has to work, and I typically have some responsibility at home to attend to, so we get up in the early morning. After silencing my alarm, I suck his cock until his little head swells into a raging wood, and eventually his big head comes-to. Then it’s not long until I bring him to the edge and he explodes, satisfied, and lays peacefully resting as I take a shower and set out a small continental breakfast. For other clients, we do more activities in the early evening, in addition to the above. Often dinner, some entertainment, drinks, other typical date stuff. It varies. I might sleep longer considering we do 1-2 rounds of sex before bed. Usually some form of sex in the morning. Everyone is different, and client moods and desires vary in the moment. Overnights can be great with even the most terrible sleeping companions when you arrange for separate beds, or separate rooms. Say you have a suite in your hotel, or a guest room in your home. Snoring, thrashing, night terrors, whatever. It’s contained. What matters more is what you do before sleep time, and after you get up. And perhaps waking up to have a randy round in the night. Cuddling you can do before falling asleep, and switch beds or rooms before you do. There are so many workarounds to enjoy the best aspects of overnights while mitigating the worst aspects. Sleep masks, earplugs, two blankets, etc. You can make it work. Planning, flexibility, and care for one another go a long way. Some men are blessed. They’re great sleeping companions. For the rest of us with less than ideal sleeping habits, you find a way.

I would approach it differently depending on the kid’s motivations. Ask: is he an escort? The decision chart diverges from there. If his intent in using seeking is to benefit from the experiences he has, that is his compensation. Does he have experience escorting? Does he know how to do this professionally? If not, demanding a professional’s fee for the work of an amateur seems silly to me. If his intent is to make a living or supplement his income doing the professional work of an escort, then he should be determining his own fee and asking for it before taking the trip. The fee is also a condition for agreeing to take the trip with you. Travel expenses are not compensation for an escort. Any enjoyment an escort has in a meal, a gift, a first class flight, is incidental. These are all things provided to the escort ultimately for the client’s own gratification. You pay an escort his fee whether you want to take him to a bowling alley for an evening or on a luxury cruise for a week. @purplekow makes a reasonable suggestion. Pay the guy something in the range of what you would normally would expect to pay a professional and move on. Next time, be clear upfront before agreeing to any trips or time together about his intentions and his compensation (if any). As always, communicate your expectations regarding intimacy, dedicated time per day vs free time, what you will be doing together, any special accommodations either of you need, and establish any rules important to either of you.

Here is a thread on JayJay, another I recommend for group play sessions:

I met JayJay for a collaboration. This was for one of my clients visiting San Diego the week of Thanksgiving 2024. JayJay doesn’t drive, so he charges to offset rideshares. My studio is not far away, so to simplify things, I picked him up at his place in Hillcrest and drove to the client’s hotel. The client enjoyed our two hour session together. Kinky stuff, massage, threesome play, spitroasting, voyeur play watching us go at it, and plenty of sensual and erotic touch throughout. JayJay was great to work with, and easy to communicate with before and after. He thanked me for making it so easy for him. I arranged everything. A highlight was the rimming. I can’t say this about many men, but JayJay got me throbbing hard as I sat on his face. He didn’t want to stop, saying he loved eating my hole. Then, when I took my turn, I had him moaning, eyes rolled back, toes curling, cock raging hard, begging me not to stop. And of course we fucked the client and each other. That rimming though…hot! JayJay is stunning. I did not ask him directly about his real age because I think it’s rude and not particularly relevant, but he did ask me that question in person and I gave him my real age, which is the age I list on my ads. I am guessing he is early 40s, but he looks young. Beautiful body, build and skin. Hot booty. Nice long cock, and not so girthy, which I personally like. Tastes vary, take that for what it is. Striking greenish eyes. His photos are flattering, to be sure, not 100% the way he looks in person, but not in any way that you should concern yourselves about. He’s hot from head to toe! Re: Experience. He spent many years being supported by a few sugar daddies in NYC. He’s less experienced as your typical “multiple client” escort, but he’s been doing more of this work over the past year or two in addition to his massage. Some periods not working while he takes care of some life things. Interesting guy. You will have to ask him for more details. I can’t say he’s a feminine guy or anything, but certainly not your hyper macho type either. If extreme masculinity is your thing, maybe he’s not the one for you. JayJay advertises massage services too, see his RentMasseur ad for that. We really only did some bed massage as foreplay for the rest of the session, so I can’t speak to his massage skills or style. It’s on the steeper end for San Diego, but not crazy, starting at $185/hr. It’s in that $180-$250 no go zone I have opinions about, but hey, if he strikes your fancy maybe try him. He tells me his massages feel like a “spiritual experience”. Y’all be the judge of that. His rates for escort service are close to mine: $325/hr, or $500/2-hrs. Verify of course since these things change over time. Quite reasonable in the going range for our area. I recommend JayJay. He is fun, easy to work with, talk to, and gorgeous.