Simon Suraci

@maninsoma Thanks for sharing. By and large, a lot of providers are delivering high quality service in line with what they are advertising (wherever on the spectrum they fall). When you’re unsure, you can find plenty of excellent recommendations right here on the forums. That frees clients up from having to initiate any form of the awkward “erotic services” discussion whether they be blunt or subtle about it. The best case is knowing what is reasonably in the range of what to expect so you don’t even need to have that part of the conversation at all! You won’t always have intel from these boards or a personal referral to go on. Sometimes you’re hiring someone you have no idea if he will deliver what you want. I think it’s perfectly ok to ask, whether you be subtle or blunt, but also it’s reasonable for a provider to avoid clients asking them to put their livelihood at risk. There is no right way to go about it. Live and learn. Calculate the level of risk you’re willing to take on a new guy and take the plunge. Worst case scenario is you lose a little money and don’t hire him again. Best case, you find some really good men this way and enjoy hiring them over and over. You have a lot more to gain, I think, in the long run, by tolerating a little bit of uncertainty up front.

Clients are wary of being taken advantage of. They don’t want to waste their time and money on masseurs unwilling to meet their needs. I get it, law enforcement is a real concern. Clients hiring what they want is also a real concern. US laws make for an inefficient market. There is no perfect solution. Accept the clients you feel comfortable seeing. Decline the ones you don’t. There is no standardized way to communicate about our services, nor is there a standardized way to offer them. You can’t ask the market to conform to your preferences regarding communication up front. It’s a fool’s errand. Some clients are more forward, some less so. Good luck changing that in either direction. Until we in the US have more sensible laws concerning sex work, we providers unfortunately must navigate the murky world of communication about sex work services, making our own calls about who we see. It sucks, but it is what it is.

Here is the thread: Your ideal orgasms per day

This spin off sexual well being topic is for the more open minded folks among us. The previous thread question was how many times “CAN” you cum per day? The question itself implies that more is always better and that tally marks are the measure of a man’s pleasure and virility. Like it’s a contest. How limiting. Feel free to disagree. The other topic is for you, then (linked at the bottom). Here we will discuss more out of the box, creative, and deeper approaches to sex and orgasm. Maybe it will challenge you to think about sex in ways you’ve never considered before. “How many times do you WANT to cum in a day? And HOW?” These more interesting and nuanced questions are about having more satisfying sex versus strictly “quantity” of sex measured superficially in terms of number of orgasms over the course of a given day. Men can have satisfying sex with many orgasms, few orgasms, no orgasms, and different types of orgasms. You can also have a lot of unfulfilling, lackluster orgasms in a day. Quantity does not parallel quality. Everyone is different. The question is what does it for you beyond an oversimplified X number of orgasms per day? If you were able to cum as much as you want and how you want every day that you felt otherwise well enough to do so, and you had no limitations like work schedule or family responsibilities, what would be your ideal scenario? Under what circumstances, types of stimuli (or lack of), and how long are your refractory periods (if any)? What types of orgasms? Long? Short? Intense? Mild? Ecstasy over the course of a long, multi orgasmic state? Ejaculatory, dry, or prostate? With partner(s), or strictly self pleasure? Any amount of edging? Can you cum with no physical stimulation at all, and would you want to? What about orgasms experienced primarily through stimulation in and around your ass? Or balls? Other erogenous zones? What about full body orgasms? What types of stimulus would you like? Any combinations or variations of the above? Have you ever achieved something close to your ideal day, and how did it differ from what you wanted or expected? What makes for the most satisfying sex to you? What makes for the most satisfying orgasms to you? Here is the other thread: How many times can you cum in a day?

Fair enough. I’ll have to start a separate thread then. It’s interesting to some of us, and not to others.

@AngusStevensxxx thank you for posting. You are brave. Good on you for defending yourself here. Nobody has the right to behave this way. It’s egregious. We here on the forums who know you from in person meets, phone calls, and other connections online will vouch for your integrity and your work.

LOL, don’t knock what you’ve never tried! It feels amazing. A lot of men never get there over the course of their lives. What a shame. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea either. That’s fine. I might suggest diverging slightly from the topic discussion from “CAN” to “How many times do you WANT to cum in a day? And HOW?” If you were able to cum as much as you want and how you want, what would be your ideal? Under what circumstances, types of stimuli (or lack of), and how long are the refractory periods (if any). What types of orgasms? Long? Short? Intense? Mild? Ejaculatory, dry, prostate? Any mix or order of any of the above? Can you cum with no physical stimulation at all, and would you want to? Have you ever achieved your ideal day, and how did it differ from what you wanted or expected?

It’s rare, but possible. My clients practicing their tantric sexual techniques can orgasm many times in an hour with or without ejaculation(s). Often most/all of these orgasms are non-ejaculatory. When you get into the right rhythm and you have developed the practice over time, multiple orgasms are possible. 8-12 in a session is not crazy. It takes experience, intense self awareness, and the right situation to get there.

“Boys who brunch”, perhaps? 🤔

Agree! 👍 I learned a hard lesson last summer in slowing down and giving messages my full attention. I’m used to clients being pushy and impatient and then losing work when I’m not responding quickly enough. It’s a lot of pressure at times. I can’t respond as quickly as every client wants or expects, but that’s ok. Losing work due to a delayed response is better than what happened below. I royally f’d up in Houston. A client booked me a few days ahead on RentMen and it was on my books. At the end of the booking conversation he shared his cell phone number with me on RentMen Messenger for reference and that was that. If I were diligent and not rushed I would probably have added the number as a contact to help me remember him if/when he messages. The day of the appointment, I was between other back to back appointments frantically trying to respond to a bunch of messages in my tight ‘gap’ time. One of these text messages was the RentMen client I was expecting later that day. He mentioned briefly who he was but I was rushing like crazy and did not read it carefully. I didn’t understand who it was thinking it was a new client inquiry. I read the time he wanted and noted the conflict with the RentMen client, so I told him I was booked but could do a later time. He couldn’t do a later time. He was simply confirming the reservation he had already made and that went over my head. Since he couldn’t meet at another available time, we reached an impasse. Rushed as I was in that moment, I barely read the messages and misinterpreted everything. Later in the day the time the client originally booked comes and I’m expecting the RentMen client. He doesn’t show up and I’m irritated thinking he is a no-show. I contact him asking if he was still planning to meet. He was understandably confused and after a couple exchanges I realized my error, looked back at the text message he sent earlier and it was way more clear to me who he was and what had happened. I apologized profusely explaining it was my mistake. We didn’t end up meeting, unfortunately, and I felt terrible about it. It all would have worked out had I decided to delay my response until I was able to give it my full attention. I don’t think this client would have been bothered by an hour or two delay. Maybe some would, and that’s the pressure I feel in these moments. Lesson learned: slow the f* down.

You mean: …body language?

^Indeed! Treasure the good ones when you find them, and treat them well. You never know how long they will be available to you in your area.

Haha! I have no problem referring. I can’t be everything to everyone. I’ll keep an eye out for your type and send them your way 😉 Only the good ones!

No, not at all. I wouldn’t be doing this work if I looked down on clients for hiring sex. Who cares? Live and let live. Whatever services clients want to hire represent real human needs. We all have them. Healing, intimacy, exploration, social interaction, physical touch, emotional safety, acceptance, being seen/heard/understood, fun, connection…the list goes on… There’s nothing wrong with being a human being.

I don’t take it that way at all. Thanks for posting! It’s a good conversation. Thanks for sharing! That means a lot to me. Anything you want different should you visit me again please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m not at all shy! I want to validate your points. Sometimes what you want changes in the moment and that’s ok. That’s part of our job to read and respond to your body, demeanor, and cues. Yes, the thrill of the unknown, what will go down, and how, is certainly part of the enjoyment. It’s a fantasy to entertain for sure. Not every masseur responds well to direct questions regarding extras. Law enforcement in the US is a real concern. Some guys just don’t want the pressure. Some don’t offer extras at all and it’s annoying having to address the request knowing you likely won’t get the work but have to go through the motions of responding patiently and politely anyway.

^ Me too!!! ^ 💯 I see this a lot. Depends on the client. Varies a lot. And let’s not forget the variety of services clients hire on RentMen. Last night, for example, a client hired me to accompany him a couple hours for a nice dinner. No sex. Just good conversation in public over some great food. He represents a minority of clients, but still it shows that people have different needs and hire them from different platforms. There’s often overlap where a client wants sex and hires me on RentMen but then figures out I have great massage skills and comes back just for that. Or visa versa he finds me on RentMasseur wanting massage and then wants to hire me for sex the next time. For those of us providers offering both services it really makes sense to be on multiple platforms.

@corndog each masseur is different. I personally am capable of giving a legit therapeutic only massage and I do when clients request it. I actually enjoy giving a skilled therapeutic massage. That’s how I started in my career. As a matter of fact, I ran a special for a few months advertising a lower rate for strictly therapeutic massage i.e. me clothed, client draped, no happy ending, no sensual or erotic touch. It was a pretty good deal for my market and I was curious to see if it boosted my business. Only two clients took me up on the offer and one of them was incredibly handsy, in fact moreso than my typical client. The other client was quite respectful and we kept it to therapeutic massage. He was happy, but he returned to me asking for my regular service at my standard rate. I did not offer this or pressure him, rather he asked me for it. Since then, he hired me for escort service, which I did not pressure him to do or try to upsell him. He asked. Go figure. We see a wide array of clients and they each have slightly different expectations and behave in different ways on the table. I’m telling you from experience that well over 95% of my clients want at minimum some small level of sensual or erotic interaction. They’re not all pressuring me or demanding it (which I appreciate) and I am not forcing it on them either. They really like seeing a gay masseur like me because they can have those sensual and erotic interactions without judgment, fear, or pressure. Sometimes clients do not respond to my nudges indicating it’s ok to touch me, or they don’t show signs of pleasure when I touch them in an erotic/sensual way… so I ease up and don’t push anything erotic. And that’s OK! I have to say, though, that these clients are the exception, not the rule. Different strokes for different folks. Literally. We are not here to pressure anyone. We’re here to offer what the market demands. Way more often than not, the market demands something along a wide spectrum of sensual and erotic experiences. The clients best matched to my strengths are clients needing and appreciating solid, skilled therapy, and for whom a level of sensuality and eroticism enhances their enjoyment. My suggestion: tell your masseur that you want a focused, therapeutic massage. Ask if he offers extras. Assuming he does, tell him you don’t want them and see how he does in the session. I would never go against a client’s request like this. So often we are working on clients uncomfortable with asking for their needs. So we have to intuit those needs. A client not responding to my sensual and erotic touch is a client I won’t make an effort to do extras for. I back off. Even more clear is a client that tells me upfront that he wants therapeutic only. I respect that. It takes the guesswork and intuition game out of the picture and I can focus on giving him the best work I can for his needs. It gives me a chance to relax and focus my energy on what he does need. It’s a relief, really. I love giving quality therapy. What is most often lacking here is not masseur skill or ability, but client communication. Ask for what you want. When you don’t, your masseurs will default to what most of the market wants. We want to please our clients. We don’t want to disappoint them. When most of our clients WANT sensual and erotic elements (but also are uncomfortable asking for them), we are left to figure it out. You can’t blame us for responding to the market or for doing the intuitive work we must necessarily do to respond to that market.

My suggestion: hire more professional masseurs. Professionals schedule clients with time gaps in between the stop time of their last client and the start time of their next one. I prefer at least 30 mins. That gap time is very important. In that time, we clean our massage equipment, change linens, and depending on the session content, we clean our bodies too. Maybe change the thermostat to fit client preferences with time for the temp to adjust. Spray essential oils, restock our massage oil, do little chores, etc. We use the time to respond to inquiries we were unavailable to respond to during the last session, take a break to sit down, use the bathroom, and eat/drink. Responding to clients takes the most time out of all these activities. If I’m not careful to prioritize all of the above before responding, I can easily spend the whole gap time texting clients who messaged me during the last appointment and find myself unprepared for the next appointment. Without that gap: 1. There is no privacy. Clients are almost guaranteed to see one another coming and going. This is disrespectful to both clients. 2. The masseur can’t respond to inquiries in a reasonable amount of time. Say he has two 90 min massages scheduled. That means someone has to wait up to three hours for the masseur to respond. 3. OR your masseur is distracted during your session responding to client requests because he has no time programmed in between clients to do so. Many of you describe the “one hand massage” as he spends your session time texting other people. Professionals never do this. Say client 1 overstays by at least five minutes for any reason, like chatting, taking a long time to cum, requesting extra work on an area, having issues with their payment method, etc. Say client 2 shows up at least five minutes early. 30 min gaps means that we have twenty minutes (at most) to do all of the gap time activities. That’s not much time. At some point even the professionals planning gap time will find themselves in a situation where the first client won’t stop the small talk and the second client insists on showing up 15 or more minutes early and you end up with them crossing paths coming and going. I do my best to avoid these situations without coming across as rude, but sometimes it happens anyway. I make the very early client wait so I can do my gap time activities. It’s not my fault they are early, and if they have a problem seeing the last client leaving, that’s on them for arriving too early. The first client I do my best to get them out with plenty of time to avoid them having to cross paths with the next client. It’s tough when they aren’t picking up on polite signals that it’s time to get going. Clients should aim to be right on time, or at most five minutes early. Arriving late is putting yourself at risk of having a shorter session. We have to respect the next client’s start time and our gap time. The pros factor it all in so your session goes smoothly, both in the way of hygiene and client privacy. If your masseurs aren’t factoring in gap time, find a more professional masseur! I won’t dive into the side topic of sex with masseurs and the game playing tactics of trying to get discount sex work services. We have way too many dedicated topics in these already. Short version: value sex work for what it is and pay equitable rates for it. Full stop. It’s better that way for clients, providers, the sex work industry.

http://massageexchange.com I’ve used it before and had an ok experience. You pay to communicate with other members. Limited user base, low response rate. Mix of amateurs, semi-pros, and pros. You can’t be very picky about how potential partners look otherwise you may never meet anyone. The point is the exchange, not dating or hookups.

Yes. I believe it’s unreasonable to assume working all seven days in a week nonstop for many weeks on end. I do this when I travel. Last summer I did ten solid weeks of 12+ hours a day, seven days a week. It’s a sprint, not a marathon. By the end of that trip I was really burned out. I took time off before working again. This pace is utterly unsustainable to maintain all year round. I do sprints for 3-6 weeks, sometimes longer. The bulk of my time I work in my home city about 6 days a week and I am taking fewer clients per day on average than when I travel. I take days off for family things, and a few holidays. Life happens, and the flexibility I build in bears the brunt of it. That’s more sustainable. So no, we are not working consistently x hours a day for seven days a week for every week of the year minus four weeks! We work as many hours as any full time employee, and way more when you consider the overhead time, but we spread it out quite differently than your average desk job would. It doesn’t fit into nice, tidy, consistent 8 or 9 hour blocks for 5 days a week. I suppose one could set it up that way, but you would not make anything near as much.

My take on your points: 1. Income varies widely in the sex work industry. It really depends on what you charge, how much you work, what types of clients you target/attract, what other work you do to supplement or do this full time, how in demand you are, and business decisions you make to leverage (or waste) your potential. Someone can make as little as the equivalent of a fast food worker by making bad business and life decisions, and as much as a well known reality TV star by making good decisions, and getting lucky. A lot of us fall closer into that skilled, educated IT worker range. It’s something like a bell curve. 2. Agree. It takes a toll. Especially masseurs who know what they are doing using their hands and body repetitively every work day. I know a very in demand masseur that works at least 8 hrs a day (not including breaks), 5 days a week. His hands are wearing out after about 15 years of practice. He is switching careers to do cybersecurity IT work to save his hands. 3. True, you can work as much as you want, in theory. It is quite flexible too, which is a huge advantage. False that you can magically organize everyone to line up at your door on exactly the days and times you want. I suppose this is a function of how in demand you are. Most of us are not porn stars in their peak 1-2 years of fame to justify the above. We work around client schedules and preferences, which span all days and times from early morning to late at night within a given week. Frequent or occasional travel is necessary. You may not be fully booked during the hours a normal full time job would typically occupy, but your availability is basically full time (or often more) if this is your primary or exclusive income. We deal with cancellations, rescheduling, running late, and ghosting. It’s a lot of wasted but necessary time. It’s all part of the job, like overhead in a way, except time rather than dollars. But remember: our most valuable asset is, in fact, time. 4. I agree, this is very important for anyone in any profession. Working guys can get an individual 401(k). It’s a thing! You are not beholden to an employer to have access to a 401(k). Plus you can invest in other things like IRAs, stocks, real estate, businesses, and more. Vanguard is a great place for index funds, for example. Doing sex work for a living is no excuse to avoid investing for retirement and other financial goals. You don’t need a traditional job to invest. Exit strategy is important, whether planning for direct 100% retirement at a certain age or for a second/third/fourth career outside the industry before ending your working years.

See these threads. Lots of interesting discussion on this side topic, not to get too far off track here: How much do you pay for an overnight date? Overnight with an escort Overnight rate

Especially in NYC, specifically.

ReeceScottx (also known locally as a masseur: Dann). He’s a sweetheart. Good guy, can’t recommend him highly enough for massage. His smile will melt you. Re: his cock. Confirmed. He’s got one glorious member and generous with touch. Beautiful in person. He’s literally your gay porn massage fantasy come to life. Watch his various porn ranging from simple instagay collaborations on his bed to studio porn style Mormon boy scenes. EDIT: Dann came up in this thread so I mentioned him. He’s definitely in the opposite category of “worst” experiences of 2024, or any year. You can refer to other threads on him for positive comments. Back to your regularly scheduled programming…

@ThroatCummer thanks for sharing. FinDom is controversial and it seems everyone has strong opinions about it, most of them on the negative/fear/sad side. Like the news, we tend to hear mostly about the horror stories, and not about the successful fun experiences people have engaging their FinSub kink. Why? Because it’s private. Subs sometimes enjoy a form of humiliation but it’s all controlled and on their own terms. Nobody wants to be publicly scrutinized, mocked, shamed, belittled or blamed for hiring a FinDom. That’s one reason why you won’t hear about the many positive experiences they have. I want to acknowledge that the inexperienced 20 somethings on twitter (and others) are indeed out there preying on men with a sub side. That’s a thing, and it’s unfortunate. They are not doing this responsibly, skillfully, or for the right reasons. They should not be initiating a FinDom relationship with potential clients. It’s unprofessional and exploitative. I also want to acknowledge that clients have full control over their own choices. They are not forced or coerced to engage. They can say no, walk away, block, etc. Very few people have this kink and those that do know where and how to seek out providers. Some of them have more addictive tendencies which will come out in one way or another. This is just one way. They need to seek help and treatment. Anything interfering with your life, relationships, ability to work, pay your bills, and function in the world is a problem. That goes for alcohol, substances, gambling, and any other addictive behavior, including sex. One of my forum member clients has a sex addiction and he sought out counseling and treatment. It wasn’t draining him financially, as he had plenty of resources, but it was interfering with his life, work, and relationships. He spent an unhealthy amount of time researching, contacting, and hiring providers. It became an obsession. Fortunately he got help. He still hires, but with many more healthy boundaries and limits. For some, it’s best to stop all together. For him, he found a way to engage in a balanced, controlled fashion.