Simon Suraci

Two years ago I threw into the ring: some cellulite lotion and a package of pasties (the kind for your nipples, not the kind you eat). Plus a bottle of booze. My stepmom didn’t understand why the pasties were so funny. She drank the booze. This year my brother in-law received a pair of enormous bright red bloomers and a hand massager. My sister took the bloomers and waved them around from side to side saying “Olé, olé!” with my nieces and nephews charging into the fabric. My other brother in-law received a pair of spangly women’s sandals. $5 on a two for one special at the drugstore. They fit, they looked surprisingly good on him, and he said they were comfortable. So he wore them the rest of the day! My mother in-law received the other pair. My favorite white elephant gift of all time was a machete from co-workers at my old day job, of all places. Had to steal it back from my boss. Good times.

Maybe this was a misunderstanding. I was quoting a provider presumably, not a client. I agree, most clients are good people. Providers should stay in business because they truly enjoy what they do, and leave the profession when it no longer suits them. When the negatives outweigh the positives, that’s certainly a strong reason to retire. Clarification: by escape their misery, I simply meant leave the profession. Work doing something else for the right balance of positives to negatives to make it work for their life.

Given or received, what are your best white elephant gifts? Why? Happy Holidays everyone! Love, Simon

You get it! Some here could read this post, take it to heart, and escape their misery. Not everyone is so sensible, unfortunately.

Same here, 100%. Couldn’t have said it better myself!

I would read nothing into it. You’re still in contact, with all signs of him interested in meeting you for a session. Green means go. Try not to overthink it. Have fun!

I have a great time doing overnights, but only with regulars I know and trust. They wipe me out for the next day and it takes me a few days to recover my sleep schedule. Overnights with a new client are a huge gamble and I rarely do them. I charge a premium for a new client wanting an overnight. You have to click for these to work well. Mutual consideration and respect go a long way. One of my regulars prefers overnights starting late at his hotel while he’s in town. In no particular order: Therapeutic massage time on my table. Sometimes only 30 mins to work a problem spot. Sometimes an hour or two. We fuck for about two hours straight. Yes, it’s true, we can go that long with only a few five minute breaks, and some flip flopping along the way. He loves bottoming so much that’s what we do for 90% of the fuck time. And to think… he used to be a strict top before he met me! Often in the wee hours before we get to sleep: Lots of cuddle time, chatting, sharing. Golden Girls quoting. Kvetching. Kissing. Often leading to round two. Or one of us wakes the other up for round two. More cuddling. Spooning him to sleep. Sleep time. Might only last 2-4 hours. With other clients, longer. He typically has to work, and I typically have some responsibility at home to attend to, so we get up in the early morning. After silencing my alarm, I suck his cock until his little head swells into a raging wood, and eventually his big head comes-to. Then it’s not long until I bring him to the edge and he explodes, satisfied, and lays peacefully resting as I take a shower and set out a small continental breakfast. For other clients, we do more activities in the early evening, in addition to the above. Often dinner, some entertainment, drinks, other typical date stuff. It varies. I might sleep longer considering we do 1-2 rounds of sex before bed. Usually some form of sex in the morning. Everyone is different, and client moods and desires vary in the moment. Overnights can be great with even the most terrible sleeping companions when you arrange for separate beds, or separate rooms. Say you have a suite in your hotel, or a guest room in your home. Snoring, thrashing, night terrors, whatever. It’s contained. What matters more is what you do before sleep time, and after you get up. And perhaps waking up to have a randy round in the night. Cuddling you can do before falling asleep, and switch beds or rooms before you do. There are so many workarounds to enjoy the best aspects of overnights while mitigating the worst aspects. Sleep masks, earplugs, two blankets, etc. You can make it work. Planning, flexibility, and care for one another go a long way. Some men are blessed. They’re great sleeping companions. For the rest of us with less than ideal sleeping habits, you find a way.

I would approach it differently depending on the kid’s motivations. Ask: is he an escort? The decision chart diverges from there. If his intent in using seeking is to benefit from the experiences he has, that is his compensation. Does he have experience escorting? Does he know how to do this professionally? If not, demanding a professional’s fee for the work of an amateur seems silly to me. If his intent is to make a living or supplement his income doing the professional work of an escort, then he should be determining his own fee and asking for it before taking the trip. The fee is also a condition for agreeing to take the trip with you. Travel expenses are not compensation for an escort. Any enjoyment an escort has in a meal, a gift, a first class flight, is incidental. These are all things provided to the escort ultimately for the client’s own gratification. You pay an escort his fee whether you want to take him to a bowling alley for an evening or on a luxury cruise for a week. @purplekow makes a reasonable suggestion. Pay the guy something in the range of what you would normally would expect to pay a professional and move on. Next time, be clear upfront before agreeing to any trips or time together about his intentions and his compensation (if any). As always, communicate your expectations regarding intimacy, dedicated time per day vs free time, what you will be doing together, any special accommodations either of you need, and establish any rules important to either of you.

Here is a thread on JayJay, another I recommend for group play sessions:

I met JayJay for a collaboration. This was for one of my clients visiting San Diego the week of Thanksgiving 2024. JayJay doesn’t drive, so he charges to offset rideshares. My studio is not far away, so to simplify things, I picked him up at his place in Hillcrest and drove to the client’s hotel. The client enjoyed our two hour session together. Kinky stuff, massage, threesome play, spitroasting, voyeur play watching us go at it, and plenty of sensual and erotic touch throughout. JayJay was great to work with, and easy to communicate with before and after. He thanked me for making it so easy for him. I arranged everything. A highlight was the rimming. I can’t say this about many men, but JayJay got me throbbing hard as I sat on his face. He didn’t want to stop, saying he loved eating my hole. Then, when I took my turn, I had him moaning, eyes rolled back, toes curling, cock raging hard, begging me not to stop. And of course we fucked the client and each other. That rimming though…hot! JayJay is stunning. I did not ask him directly about his real age because I think it’s rude and not particularly relevant, but he did ask me that question in person and I gave him my real age, which is the age I list on my ads. I am guessing he is early 40s, but he looks young. Beautiful body, build and skin. Hot booty. Nice long cock, and not so girthy, which I personally like. Tastes vary, take that for what it is. Striking greenish eyes. His photos are flattering, to be sure, not 100% the way he looks in person, but not in any way that you should concern yourselves about. He’s hot from head to toe! Re: Experience. He spent many years being supported by a few sugar daddies in NYC. He’s less experienced as your typical “multiple client” escort, but he’s been doing more of this work over the past year or two in addition to his massage. Some periods not working while he takes care of some life things. Interesting guy. You will have to ask him for more details. I can’t say he’s a feminine guy or anything, but certainly not your hyper macho type either. If extreme masculinity is your thing, maybe he’s not the one for you. JayJay advertises massage services too, see his RentMasseur ad for that. We really only did some bed massage as foreplay for the rest of the session, so I can’t speak to his massage skills or style. It’s on the steeper end for San Diego, but not crazy, starting at $185/hr. It’s in that $180-$250 no go zone I have opinions about, but hey, if he strikes your fancy maybe try him. He tells me his massages feel like a “spiritual experience”. Y’all be the judge of that. His rates for escort service are close to mine: $325/hr, or $500/2-hrs. Verify of course since these things change over time. Quite reasonable in the going range for our area. I recommend JayJay. He is fun, easy to work with, talk to, and gorgeous.

For those of you interested in the convoluted and frustrating world of US health insurance, why it costs so much, and what we can do about it, here is a podcast I’ve been following for years. It offers a lot of helpful and interesting content: Home - An Arm And a Leg ARMANDALEGSHOW.COM

I’ve considered donating. I wondered if cash was an option. Apparently it is if we can mail it. Nice to know, thanks! The bigger issue for me is: would supporting the site appear to be a conflict of interest for a provider?

When my partner and I bought our house in 2016, we were doing a walkthrough during the inspection period and noticed a random lady picking fruit off the avocado trees in our yard outside. Our realtor, with us at the time, said she was the seller’s sister. I guess, in an attempt to make us feel better about it? Turned out she’s actually one of our wacko neighbors with no boundaries. Realtors spout all kinds of bs to keep a transaction moving smoothly. While reading one of the contract documents for the house, I shot my realtor a concerned, puzzled look and asked him, “Pump and dump? What’s that?” He tried to remain composed and professional as he explained to two gay guys that a “pump and dump” is for septic system maintenance, that the seller is paying to have the tank pumped before selling us the property. We were the sellers’ second choice. They picked the straight couple with the same offer terms as ours. We lucked out when the straight couple backed out of the sale and we got the house. More generally to the topic, I’m sure I unconsciously favor more attractive people, all else being equal or close to equal. It’s part of human nature to do this. We humans tend to view conventionally attractive people as more trustworthy, more capable, and more likable. I try to be aware of my biases and acknowledge them. Pretending bias doesn’t exist won’t help us change anything. It’s definitely a thing.

Definitely worth opening a new credit card account to preserve my ability to earn my livelihood. I got a MC back in August when RentMen and RentMasseur started doing this in response to Visa changing their policies with regard to adult businesses. This is old news. Here is an existing thread on the exact same topic (which already has been merged from two previous duplicate topics) I might suggest merging:

Sidebar. There are no “overreactions” or “overreacting”. We really should strike these terms from our language. There are simply “reactions”, and “reacting”. The terms using the prefix “over-” frame one person’s opinions about someone else’s reactions as an objective reality. It has an air of: “I know better than you how you should be allowed to feel”. Using “over” dismisses the reacting person for feeling any sort of way that doesn’t agree with the observer’s own opinions. The observer’s opinions are neither superior nor inferior to the “reacting” person. People have feelings. Feelings are not facts. Neither are opinions. Feelings and opinions are not at all objective. They cannot be “over” and they cannot be “under”. They just are. The client taking offense to being asked the question “Are you retired?” is simply REACTING. He experienced an emotional response. The escort asking him almost certainly meant no offense by suggesting the client might be retired. I don’t see being retired as something to be ashamed of at any age, and to others’ points, retirees can be in their 30s, 40s or even younger albeit more rarely. Someone may take this question about working status as a proxy to say: “You look old. I assume you’re well past your working years”, and by extension, “I find you unattractive because I think you’re old.” Of course, the escort didn’t say or intend to convey any of this, and these are just assumptions based on our unfortunate social attitudes and norms. It’s not difficult to see how a client might react the way he did. Cultural pressures make us all self conscious about our age and appearance. It’s even worse among men who are attracted to men. Some off comment suggesting the client is “old” can really hurt. No wonder the client had a reaction. To minimize those feelings by saying “you’re overreacting” is to say “your subjective feelings are invalid.” Subjective feelings ARE valid. We all experience feelings. That said, I’ve learned not to ask “Are you retired?” and instead ask “What do you do?” It gives clients the opportunity to share that they are retired (or working) and gives me an opportunity to ask a follow up question like “How, then, do you like to spend your time?”

Here is a thread from a few months ago with more info on Brady: Brady in Phoenix He does not keep his commitments.

That type of scheme works like this: the fraudster gets you interested in a high volume of work $$$ with people most masseurs would (presumably) prefer to work on more than your average client i.e. younger, attractive, in-shape, athletes, models, actors, you name it. Sometimes they assume women would be more enticing to me, which indicates sloppy or zero research on their part. Then the fraudster presses to pay up front using some digital method. After providing them the payment information, they attempt to steal your personal and financial information, your money, or both. The boys sports team never shows up, and the fraudster moves on to the next victim. Stuff that seems off, too good to be true, odd, or unusual I steer clear of. It’s almost always a scam. Any client asking to pay ahead via digital means is an instant no-go, highly likely to be fraudulent activity. When I was actually engaging the sports team guy, I asked if the “boys” he mentioned were underage, or all over 18. I can’t knowingly serve minors. He was flustered by the question. Clearly he didn’t expect anyone to have this concern. That made it so obvious what was going on that I ended the conversation and reported the scam.

I had a great time at Anthropology years ago. Would definitely go back, and also check out the other places mentioned in this thread. I love the strip clubs in PV. What a blast! Wet Dreams I was unimpressed last time I visited, but it was probably an off time (day) and it was still too early in the evening, so I’ll give it another go next trip.

Haha, I’m neither. I’m in the middle in terms of age and looks. There are waaay better looking men out there. Being experienced or on the older end of the spectrum doesn’t make you good necessarily, and being attractive doesn’t make you bad either. What you want is the best of both: a truly skilled professional masseur (priority #1) …. that happens to be somewhere in the neighborhood of what you find attractive (priority #2). Maybe not your top pick for escort services who “must” have a certain look or body type for you to be into him. All I’m saying is looks should be secondary if you’re one of the few clients who truly values an excellent massage. Basically, think with your big head, then your little one. In my case I have two big heads, so what’s a guy to do? 🤣 (see my private gallery)

I appreciate you, @ThroatCummer. I wouldn’t charge or accept payment ahead. I don’t have to do this type of thing to be successful. Most of my CoM clients I trust implicitly. You guys, by and large, are gems. Thank you for the sentiment.

⚠️Warning: this is long. Here are a few hot tips for finding skilled masseurs, who may (or may NOT) also happen to offer sensual, erotic, or escort services. 1) Start with referrals from people who have seen men they like and trust to deliver quality massage services. I refer my new and existing clients to other good masseurs when I can’t see them for some reason like a schedule conflict. If the masseur you’re reaching out to is unavailable, don’t be afraid to ask him for a referral. Be patient. The best guys are popular and are worth waiting for and scheduling around. 2) Leverage CoM. Gather as much info as possible on masseurs you’re interested in. When none exists, post a new thread. Ask specific questions: Opinions i.e. Is he good? Rate his massage Facts i.e. does he use a professional table? A client here may hesitate on writing an opinion on the masseur’s work overall, but it’s easy to answer a yes/no question like does he use a table? Or was his space clean? 3) Read his ad. No, really. Do it. Actually read the entire ad. Does he have a business website or links to socials? Does he advertise elsewhere? Review those. So many clients view the photos and go straight to clicking the contact button, never bothering to reference the rest of the info the masseur has already provided. 4) Evaluate: Does the masseur provide enough information to give you a good idea of what to expect? Or is it a short, cryptic blurb? More information is a good sign. From there, glean as much as you can pertaining to the rest of these points. 5) Does he have formal training, such as a license or certification required in his home jurisdiction? Education is not everything. Plenty of bad masseurs have formal training, and plenty of good masseurs have informal or no training. In general, more of the good ones have professional training and list their documentation on their ads. Keep in mind, many gay masseurs use an alias for legitimate safety reasons, so they may not be willing to present their documentation listing their full legal name. It just depends if they work in spas or practice privately. 6) What are his jobs? Is he a full time masseur, or is this just a side gig? Is he a porn star or a fan site content creator? How much of his time does he spend doing those vs massage? Knowing these answers gives you a general sense of his availability and priorities. Is he likely to flake on you because he is a popular performer filming a last minute shoot? Or is it reasonable for you to request a massage at 2pm on a Tuesday knowing he works 8-5 M-F? Check whatever schedule he lists on his ads and respect it. The full time masseur guys are more likely to be good at their work. There are exceptions. For a time, I only worked my massage business on nights and weekends, but then demand overtook my schedule and it didn’t make sense for me to have two jobs anymore. 7) How much experience does he have? Years? Months? Is that full time, or part time? 5+ years of experience is a good sign. That means a guy taking two years out of high school to get certified at 20 years old will be at LEAST 25 years old by the time you see him. Younger guys can be good, but you’re more likely to get a guy who knows what he’s doing in his late 20s to early 30s and beyond. Some start their massage careers later, so it’s not purely about age. Experience matters. 8)That leads me to my next point. Stop hiring based on LOOKS. Get a list of good providers together and compare them based on SKILLS. Then once you narrow your list, you can consider looks. You can’t reasonably compare the hot muscled 22 year old shirtless guy having no experience and mixed reviews with the 50 year old out of shape guy with a shirt on, tons of experience, and a great track record. It’s apples and oranges. I completely understand the desire to have a hot (often younger) guy touching you for an hour or more, and your desire to perhaps touch him too. However, you can’t reasonably expect every hot guy to be good at massages. He knows he’s hot and he’s using that against you. Prioritize skills over looks. Consider looks AFTER you have a shortlist of skilled providers. Your body and mind will thank you. 9) Professionalism. Find what you can to indicate his level of professionalism. How does he communicate? Is he consistent and reliable? Is he reasonable? Does he get back to you promptly or within a reasonable period? Does he have boundaries and stick to them? Does he lay out his rates and services clearly? Does he use an automatic booking system like Square or Booksy? The pros use these types of systems. It also indicates he is organized. 10) Rates. Is he charging appropriate rates for your market? Exorbitant rates indicate escort services thinly veiled as ‘massage’, or scams where the masseur is hot but provides neither a skilled massage nor escort services. 11) Do you like the guy as a person? Find what you can about him online and see if you would click as human beings. Do you respect him? If he has an interview, read it. 12) Reviews. This one is tricky. TRY to look past the vague descriptions and overexcited OPINIONS and look for FACTS. Clues in the reviews tell you how easy he is to communicate with, what equipment he uses, techniques he employs, massage styles he’s trained in, his general knowledge base, and how he delivers his services. Some clients post specific issues in their body the masseur addressed successfully, which is a good sign. The better impression you get on all these points, the more promising he is. 13) See where he advertises. MasseurFinder is no guarantee he will be professional or skilled, but chances are he will be. He may share more on one platform than another. For example, MasseurFinder uses algorithms to screen out even a hint of sexual content providers try to include. On RentMasseur, he may show a full frontal photo with an erection, indicating exactly what is on offer. This is not necessarily a red flag, but it is bad when there is nothing else in his ads to indicate he has experience offering professional massage services. Are the only photos he posts designed primarily to show off his body or suggest sex acts? Or does he present himself as someone capable of giving a quality massage? 14) Why does he do this work? Does he love it and find fulfillment in it? Does he actually care about his clients? If you know the answers form his ads, that’s promising. 15) This is controversial, but I’ll say it anyway. Try straight providers. Not “straight” providers advertising on gay sites. I mean mainstream massage therapists who see all genders. I know a great one in my office building. He drapes and stays clothed and he’s licensed. He’s married (to a woman) with kids. He’s EXCELLENT. Among the best. I don’t have any thoughts or anxieties about getting aroused or “getting my money’s worth” in terms of sexual interaction with him. He’s cute, but I know nothing is going to happen and that’s a relief in some ways because I know what to expect and I can relax and fully enjoy a high quality massage without any agenda on his end or mine. His rates are very reasonable, and his skill level is top notch. Getting a few of these legit massages will help some of you learn how to be more objective about selecting and evaluating good masseurs advertising on gay sites. When you have had excellent work before, you know what to look for and it helps you get better at picking the good ones, and recognizing when you’ve found a gem.

We represent a minority of masseurs who take their jobs very seriously, do it professionally, and genuinely love what we do. It’s difficult to find men offering skilled massages. I’d say maybe 10% or less of the men in any given city are worth seeing, looks aside. That leaves a lot of room for error hiring guys proving to be a waste of time. I’ll follow up with some pointers to help lead you to the better guys. For starters: CoM is one of the best places to vet potential hires. Clients here are more real and honest about their experiences. Anyone interested in my opinion on a given masseur, feel free to reach out privately and I’ll give my two cents. The forums are a wealth of client knowledge and experience. I’m based in San Diego and visit various US cities throughout the year. I’m considering a NYC trip at some point. I’ve amassed quite a list of interested contacts. It’s not a matter of demand for me, more a logistical and economic problem to solve. Eventually I will visit.

MasseurFinder is VERY strict about the quantity, format, and content of photos you can post. Here is a link to the MF guidelines: MasseurFinder Photo Guidelines Your comment is 100% applicable to RentMasseur, but it’s a more happy ending massage / escort oriented site. It’s a mixed crowd on RentMasseur; lots of duds (not dudes but DUDS) who don’t know what they are doing and want to simply advertise their bodies for sale, with or without a massage ‘scenario’. I say scenario because it may as well be a porn massage, which is nothing like a real life skilled massage. The thing is: a percentage of the client pool wants exactly what these guys are offering and don’t care about getting a decent massage. Some of us are skilled and professional, but it’s not always easy to tell. Thank you CoM for providing a platform for clients to hash out the differences and elucidate who the best providers are for various needs. The other percentage of the client pool cares a lot about getting skilled therapy, but among those, 99% of them still hire heavily based on looks. It’s a market issue, not an advertiser issue. The men advertising are offering exactly the range of what clients are demanding! You are the market. If y’all want gay sites catering specifically to therapeutic only, demand something different. MasseurFinder is the best one for therapeutic only. Admittedly I advertise there and still offer a full range from therapeutic draped, clothed etc to full on escort services. I am probably an outlier in that respect. MF is the most crazy expensive to advertise on and I get the fewest clients from it 🤷‍♂️

Because clients do not respect boundaries. Many of you here feel like you would never cross a masseur’s boundaries. Great. In real life that’s not what actually happens. That’s one of the primary reasons I started escorting. Putting a price on sexual activities was a more effective boundary than simply saying ‘no’. I lost fewer clients that way and I made equitable pay for the percentage of clients that truly value my services enough to pay fair rates for them. The answer in the old threads is the same then as it is now: it varies widely by masseur. No standard exists. The only way to answer this question is to ask your masseur directly. Use specific language when you ask like, “Is mutual touch ok?” “Will you be nude?”, “Is a happy ending included?”, “Will you do X, Y, or Z?”. NOT vague or open ended questions like: “What is included with your massage?” For those uncomfortable with asking specific questions, hire him and find out.

Same here Jamie, same here. I did therapeutic only for lower rates once upon a time but for exactly this reason I raised my rates and stopped offering therapeutic only massages. A few clients may respect the boundaries of a therapeutic massage once in a while. The vast majority don’t. We’re responding to the reality of our local markets by offering a valuable service our clients truly want for an appropriate fee. On the flip side…. Last night I did a hotel outcall. As I set up the table, I stripped down naked as I usually do and the client asked me to put my underwear back on. He insisted that he cover his butt crack with a small hand towel and asked me to start off therapeutic only and move to more sensual work later on (which is what I do anyway). I figured out in due course that he loves sensual and erotic touch, but his cock is so extremely sensitive that even the slightest touch near it will make him cum prematurely. I took note and proceeded accordingly. After delivering some high quality deep tissue full body therapy, I gave him one of the most erotic, mind blowing happy endings ever - without ever touching his cock…until after he reached the point of no return and then I jerked him nicely into an extended full-body orgasm. Hot. Now I know why he was less eager to indulge his erotic feelings. Almost certainly he gets massages from other men that end up getting him off way too soon, in an unfulfilling way, and the therapeutic massage is either so-so to begin with, or declines in quality after the client orgasms. Sometimes the client really wants emphasis on therapeutic, or strictly therapeutic. They are exceptions proving the rule.