Simon Suraci

Maybe. But then I once in a while I get conversations like this that turn south rather quickly: <more disrespectful client drivel…> <client blocked> ^ I agree with this. It takes an emotionally mature client to handle hiring with grace. I’m wondering how best to answer the relationship status question. I just don’t like lying which is the easiest way out of having to answer the inevitable follow up questions about the details of my relationship and how it works. Those answers at best distract, and at worst put off the client. I’m wondering if lying is the best way to go about maintaining the fantasy illusion for the client… …but then again my best clients are the ones who know me quite well and connect with me on a deeper level after hiring me at least a few times. They appreciate my honesty and it doesn’t put them off. In fact, they have more respect for what I do and why I do it. I have a family and a life outside work like anyone else. They get it. Just sucks having to backtrack and say, actually I lied about being single…blah blah blah.

My experience is a lot like @Jamie21. I schedule appointments 30 mins apart. They’re not always back to back, but it’s not unusual. 30 mins is just enough time for me to wrap up, settle payment, and clean my massage equipment, use the restroom, drink water, catch up on texts, and mentally refresh myself on who the next client is and what they booked. When I have back to back appointments scheduled and the client shows up late, I end at the time they were originally supposed to end, out of respect for the next client who I honor by starting at the time they booked. If it’s really late, I offer to reschedule for another time. If I have nobody booked after I see the client and give the client their full time. Most of my business is massage and spa services. I don’t think I could operate this way if I was primarily or exclusively offering escort service. In that case, I would take fewer clients and spread them far apart from one another, like one in the morning, one in the evening or something like that, maybe more than two clients depending on the particulars of each client’s needs that day. To respond more directly to the OP question, no shows happen because people are people. There will always be a percentage of no-shows, both on the client and provider sides of hiring. You can’t completely remove from human nature selfishness or disregard for other people.

I’m in a 10 year long relationship. 11 years next month. He knows exactly what I do for work and accepts it. He does not massage or escort or anything like that; he works in another professional field. We have our challenges at times like any couple, but overall we are happy and this world of hiring is just another normal part of our lives because of my work. I consider my personal life my business and not really my clients’ concern. Sometimes clients ask me if I am single. I wonder why. I tell them that whether I am single or not that I am not open to any romantic relationships, which is true. Therefore, I find the question irrelevant to their hiring decisions. I share freely about my relationship with trusted regular clients when they ask, but it bothers me when a new contact asks me this as something they need to know before they decide to hire. I would never ask the client’s relationship status or decide not to see them based on their response. Why is it different when clients ask me the same? Clients: Is this criteria important to you? If so, why? I perform some aspects of the “boyfriend experience” for clients mature enough to handle the limitations and enjoy it for what it is. That’s it. Whether I have any casual or serious relationships outside work has nothing to do with the client or their experience with me, so I just don’t see why it is so important to some clients. I interpret what is coded in the question is that the client has some sense that I am - or could be - totally theirs, available 24/7 for free and maybe that prospect, however slim, excites them. In reality, it’s just a fantasy. I could lie saying I’m single to humor them. I could tell the truth and by so doing either alienate them or else invite a host of follow up questions I don’t want or see the point in answering. I find the relationship status question irrelevant to them hiring me. What do you think is fair? Do your providers have to be single (or at least you think that they are single) for you to want to hire them? Is there some relevance to the question I’m missing? Providers: How often do you get a question on your relationship status, and how do you handle your responses?

Yeah, he probably had to delete his old profile and didn’t bother to write new ad text. Always a red flag. There’s usually a troubling reason he deleted the other ad, but not always. Regarding the non-committal language, maybe he wants to pick and choose who he will get physically intimate with after he meets them? This approach makes for a bad provider, of course. He doesn’t sell himself on the muscle worship only scenario, so who knows.

I know, right? I might do something like this for a very few tantra oriented clients, but for my average client it’s too over the top. Some of them just want to get going if they have a busy day with limited time for a break and they are halfway off the table or already dressed by the time I finish washing my hands. Sometimes they just don’t want to move or engage or make any decisions or think at all for a bit, to take in the feeling of total relaxation and contentment. I encourage my clients to take in that moment, to take some deep breaths and to pace their time transitioning off the table.

Here’s a service online that offers to write fake RentMasseur reviews. I am shocked and concerned. Had no idea this was a thing until I stumbled upon it today. Now that I think about it, it makes sense. Why wouldn’t someone monetize fake review writing services? Be careful what you trust online. Word of mouth from known clients is more reliable than anonymous reviews. CoM is also a good place to verify information about masseurs and providers you’re interested in hiring. Buy RentMasseur Reviews and Grow Your Massage Business | Getreview GETREVIEW.CO.UK Learn how to buy verified reviews from RentMasseur.com through Getreview.co.uk and boost your... By the way, I was Google searching if it’s possible to link RentMasseur profiles to one another, in my case for 4-hand massage services. I searched “rentmasseur how to link profiles”. Haven’t found that answer yet (I suspect it’s a ‘no’). This review writing service site happened to pop up seven hits down and I clicked it to read later. Rest assured, I would never, ever hire a service like this to manufacture reviews for me. ^!!!

Here is a link to some relevant info on RentMasseur defining therapeutic, sensual, and erotic massage. I don’t necessarily agree or disagree with anything stated here, but it’s an interesting read. Note: oral and anal sex are not considered part of their erotic massage definition. Thought that was a good point to keep in mind. A massage can be extremely erotic without oral/anal, but it can include those too. Your mileage may vary by provider, what you discuss beforehand, and how much you’re paying (and by extension, tipping!). Massage Types | RentMasseur - Gay Massage & Male Masseurs RENTMASSEUR.COM Rentmasseur is the place to choose from the most skillful gay massage proffesionals that offer sensual...

Yes, it is a mysogynistic comment. Funny though it is, I don’t think we should brush attitudes like this under the rug. All people can benefit from a therapist. Women may have different experiences than men, but we all can benefit from working through issues in our lives with a professional. If you’re a human being, you’re subject to life, and life experiences sometimes feel like a punch to your face. Not everyone can access therapy and that’s a bummer, but everyone that can access therapy should take advantage of that privilege, even when they are not in “crisis”. A lot of times the work we do in therapy keeps us from having to come to the point of crisis in the first place. It can help us process, heal, and live in a more healthy, fulfilling way. It helps our relationships, and by extension the people around us.

Agree. I still do late night sessions but only for trusted regular clients or if a client books it 24 hrs in advance. That policy acts as a natural filter both for safety and for better clients. I’m too old to deal with the flaky desperate last minute late night requests anymore. Plus I have a commute to my work location now, so that’s not happening after I go home.

Oh, dear 🤦‍♂️

Yup. Best not to judge a book by its cover. All kinds of people want service, including those with menacing gang tattoos, hard faces, or they’re in denial, or never had an experience like this before. Meet them where they’re at. They’re deciding to see you, which means they want to be there. Have an open mind. Use caution and good sense. Communicate when something is unclear. “Is this ok? Are you comfortable when I do xyz? Would you rather I do abc?” Some clients are just weird. Not dangerous, just awkward. Some people are on a neuro-atypical spectrum. Some are just nervous. All of this is fine and normal. Take it in stride. Read the client and respond appropriately. Protect yourself when necessary.

^yes, please do be careful to type text directly or to not format it with a color. It’s impossible to read when your text is formatted in dark/light when your audience is viewing in the opposite compatible mode. If you’re copying and pasting from elsewhere, make sure to click the prompt that pop up right after you paste saying paste as “rich text” instead of plain text. Dark mode is so much better on your eyes. It boggles my mind that people still don’t use this option in 2023. To each their own. Welcome. Please do reference the plethora of past posts on this very same subject. Here is a recent one that references several other threads along the same lines:

Absolutely not true. I view client profiles all the time and don’t reach out. I’m interested in all of them. If they’re a client, I’m interested. I don’t reach out because I want to respect the client’s privacy and the fact that they may be just browsing and may not want to engage yet, if at all. Viewing but not messaging is merely an indication that the provider showed interest in potential clients and wants to respect the client’s time and energy. The client will reach out if he’s interested. Sometimes I will send a message if I think the client is a particularly good match or we have a shared niche interest or something. By good match I don’t mean looks or demographics, just what they write in their profile. I see everyone no matter what they look like. For example I got a profile view on RentMen the other day from a client who lives in my college town. It’s small and remote and most providers would never travel there, but I do from time to time, so I told him I would be visiting later next year and to let me know if he would be interested in meeting. There was no photo, literally just the screen name and a city listed. If he was anywhere else or had generic interests, I wouldn’t have bothered messaging. In the past, I’ve reached out to clients who viewed my profile with a brief, friendly message saying thanks for checking me out and that I’m happy to answer any questions. It takes more time to manage that process, and it can be off putting for some. Occasionally when doing this I would contact someone more than once without realizing and that gives a bad impression. On RentMasseur I have to manually search my messages every time for a specific contact before determining that I haven’t messaged before. Even then, it still won’t give me the correct info 100% of the time. When I search, the autocorrect function throws it off so I have to carefully re-correct the spelling just to search the correct user and then determine I have/have not contacted them before and then go ahead and send a message. Such an exhausting waste of time. Honestly I do get more bookings that way, so from a short term marketing strategy, it works. Sometimes a client just needs a nudge to get the ball rolling when they never would have started rolling it themselves or perhaps would have waited weeks or months before they otherwise would reach out. However, I know by doing this I may very well be losing some business by putting off some would-be clients. I stopped doing the proactive messages a while back because I’ve developed a long term marketing strategy to attract clients in other ways that require less time and management and focuses on relationship building rather than just getting them in the door as quickly as possible. The proactive messages strategy across multiple platforms became simply unmanageable. One client views me constantly, like every day, multiple times a day. When he did finally reach out to me with a text after months of viewing, he asked the same questions over and over. Intel from MrNumber indicated he was a problem client. He wouldn’t confirm booking details, wasn’t serious, and just wanted my attention without actually booking anything. I warned him and then eventually had to block him because he wasn’t respecting my boundaries and kept demanding my time and attention for free. He still views me on multiple platforms. I just ignore it and block his messages whenever he keeps trying to contact me through another method. So annoying. Dude, take the hint.

I proposed a massage trade with BigTallMuscle some months back earlier in 2023. Never got to see him mostly due to travel and schedule conflicts. He was hesitant to meet, telling me he didn’t think he could control himself enough to get through it with professionalism lol! Apparently he had a crush on me. Aw, shucks. I was curious about his massage and wanted to mutually benefit from a trade. I would still love to see BigTallMuscle someday. He sounds like a real sweetheart, although we’ve never met in person. @Becket’s comment sounds fun! Wow I’d like to add Dann to this list, since he falls into the more mature masseur category. He’s covered elsewhere in the forums, definitely worth a visit. He started filming adult content in addition to his massage and esthetician work, so his availability may be affected by that. Since summer 2023, he travels to film scenes. Great guy, highly recommend. https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/37362/ Give these mature men some love. I haven’t seen all of them, but oftentimes they have more experience, patience, and respect than the younger crowd. Sometimes less expensive, although not warranted. It’s a byproduct of overvaluation of youth and looks. For massage, the experience is more important than how the guy looks. You’re face down and/or eyes closed for most of it anyway. These are just generalizations. YMMV.

If I have interest from enough NYC forum members, I would make a trip. It’s too expensive for me to risk a stay there without a solid list of committed clients to justify the trip. I’ll keep it in mind for the next time I am in NY state to make NYC a destination.

Just ask me for it next time I’m in Buffalo! 😜

I do it for clients from time to time. Sexting and/or phone. I charge the same rates as I do for massage, starting at a half hour. Can’t say it’s popular, but for a few it really works well. Some clients way overextend their welcome via text or phone. They typically want to indulge their fantasies rather than simply arrange some details for an in person session, so I offer phone sex and sexting as options for them to keep going. It either cuts off the bs right there, or sometimes a client finds value in demanding my time and goes for it. It’s a great natural filter to find out who is serious about what they want and who just wants to take advantage of me for a free phone/text jerk off session. Apparently they find value in it but aren’t willing to pay. Charging for my time helps them value my time as much as I do.

If you discussed doing certain activities and you didn’t do them after asking in person for him to follow through, I would offer a partial payment and wish him well. Sounds like he was really going through something. We all have off days. An honest review won’t tarnish his reputation. If he has many satisfied reviewers, that will all outweigh his off day, but also show his audience that he’s a human and not perfect 100% of the time. That’s ok. Also, it’s easy to lose good judgment when in the presence of a fantasy guy. I got a massage in Dallas once from a well reviewed masseur to see what all the fuss was, and lo and behold the massage was awful, cut short half the time, and ended in a robotic way, but I was so captivated by the guy’s body, looks and demeanor in the moment that I let so much more slide than I normally would have. The others who had seen him were so blindsided by his looks that they felt compelled to leave a positive review. I acknowledge this is a masseur vs a provider but it happens in both realms. It’s easy to get emotionally carried away in the moment. In your case, apologizing saying it’s you, not him that was the problem. It was him for sure that was the problem. People should know that this happened. He did not fulfill his end of the agreement, nor did he offer to make it right in some other way. This is why we have reviews. It keeps us providers honest, pushing to do our best and get better over time. Be kind, but be honest too. It helps everyone.

@Jarrod_Uncut you know I love you man. You know I wish you success. We disagree on a lot of things and that’s ok. I’m comfortable with that and have respect for our differences. I’m the kind of guy who will invest his heart and soul into helping others, at the expense of his own sanity sometimes. At some point I have to give up for my own mental health because the other person isn’t interested in help or ideas or getting better, but emotionally it costs me a lot to keep caring so much. It’s just me trying to be supportive and struggling when all the other person does is continue to sabotage himself, close himself off from others who are genuinely interested in his success. You’re not interested in opinions or insight, or adapting or trying new things. Or taking serious advice from the forum members who have taken time out of their lives to respond genuinely and thoughtfully to your posts. You want the hiring world to conform to your business model and to your preferences. That ain’t gonna happen. Never. Years of promotion on these forums has not changed hearts and minds, even those most sympathetic to you. If anything, you’ve alienated many potential clients, and some of them have said that to me privately. You will never give up on the deposits policy, and that’s ok. You do you. You’re entitled to do business how you see fit. What we forum members find most exhausting is that you continue complain about the consequences of your own policies, where you choose to live, and how you choose to do business. If you don’t like how it’s working out for you, you’re welcome to change any of those things. But we know you won’t do that. Never. You want the world to change instead, and when it doesn’t, you complain…and then keep demanding it to change…and when you’re met with reasonable skepticism about your expectations, you try to convince the world that they’re all wrong. It’s a miserable cycle. You’re not going to convince others that they should charge/pay deposits as a new norm for hiring across the board. The industry is never going to change to fit how you want and think it should be. Period. Continue with the policies that work for you. And when they don’t work for you, feel free to complain again (and again, and again) about the same things, but don’t be shocked when it falls on deaf ears. Forum members are utterly exhausted for sympathy for you. And that’s coming from someone who genuinely cares about you and wants to see you succeed! I’ll be taking a step back from engaging with some of the more repetitive posts from Jarrod. It’s too exhausting for me to keep going. I don’t mean to say I won’t engage with Jarrod in general, just that I’m going to skip the topics where I already know your opinion and have heard similar complaints a zillion times already and know you aren’t interested in discussing ways to get better. There’s no point. It’s a total waste of time.

Thank you for bringing this point up, Danny. It’s so important. Just today I checked in with a regular client on how he wants to handle communication. So far I only text when he reaches out to me, since he told me he has a wife and kids and needs to maintain his discretion. Occasionally he will send a message out of the blue unrelated to arranging an appointment and I’m happy to engage. I just wasn’t sure if it’s ok to reciprocate by initiating a text conversation at some other time I was thinking of him. He said to send only a smiley face first and wait for him to respond to it when he is ready to engage. Every client is different. Until I establish that it’s ok to initiate contact the client, I avoid reaching out and let them come to me when they’re ready. So many clients need discretion, and I respect that 100%.

I had one A4A client who hired me for escort service in Dallas. He paid my rate for an outcall and all went well. Then a day or two later he started demanding that I meet with him for free, for meals, for sex, whatever. I had to tell him very directly what the boundaries are and that he can hire my time, but that I wasn’t on A4A for personal friendships or dating. He had hired others before, and he has a husband too, which puzzled me all the more. I had to block him it got so bad. He was harassing me and threatening me, first on the app and then by text. Crazy. That’s the one really bad experience so far where I think the lines between hookup app and hiring were blurred, at least in the client’s mind. Everyone else gets it. You pay x for y. That’s the arrangement. No hookup app dynamics nonsense. At least for some, the platform is a problem. By and large, it’s not.

@Jarrod_Uncut inspired me to try A4A earlier this year. I wondered if there was any decent business in it. Figured if I got one client the whole year, it would pay for itself. Turns out, I made my annual subscription back many, many times over. Including a regular who sees me about once every two weeks. For me at least, it was a sound investment. Sure, it’s not the greatest platform or my most profitable or as versatile as the others. It’s designed primarily for hookups and dating, but they organize it in such a way that makes it easy to find Pros offering services. Since fewer advertisers are present, the few would-be clients who are looking for guys like me find me and hire without a fuss. I actually really like A4A. I don’t spend much time on it and it brings me business. The “Pro” ads are clearly labeled as such, so people don’t contact me unless they are inquiring about rates or services. Once in a while someone doesn’t read anything on the ad, even the big “Pro” symbol plastered all over it. I gently indicate in my first reply that I’m a masseur and my ad is a Pro ad and ask if they are interested in hiring me. That’s enough to send them politely on their way and they don’t bother me. A few times, someone who wasn’t initially looking to hire any services paused to consider hiring me anyway and then they actually did! Maybe it’s white privelege. I don’t know. Honestly I think it’s the market Jarrod is in. I do fine, even when I travel to smaller markets in the south. On tour earlier this year a few guys hit me up for business on A4A in their city. Maybe it’s luck. Whatever it is, it seems to work well for me, so I will continue to leverage this marketing tool as long as it makes business sense. The other night, a client started abusing RentMasseur emails as a tool to jerk off and indulge his fantasy with me and get some free sexting time. He wasn’t serious about hiring and he was clever about keeping me engaged regarding hiring me just enough to keep going. When that became clear, I said he can hire me for phone sex or sexting at xxx rate, but that I would not be communicating anymore unless it was to confirm the details of a real in person appointment he intends to keep. His communication thankfully stopped without having to block or escalate things. I can see this kind of thing happening on A4A, but contrary to my expectations, it has yet to happen to me. I get the bullshit texts and messages on other platforms, but never so far on A4A. Only one client I had to turn down because he was a psycho intent on hurting me in his potential session. Everyone else has been great. Lots of asking for rates, as expected. I get a comparably high booking to inquiries ratio. Maybe 40-50% of inquiries eventually lead to bookings. Not a lot of time wasted. Quite the opposite of Jarrod’s experience. A4A push notifications actually work, which helps a lot. RentMen Messenger won’t alert me no matter how many times I set the alerts to do so. RM Messenger is a total crapshoot. Unless I open the app every hour, I don’t see messages. Just text me. Burner number or whatever I don’t care, at least I will see the message and respond in a timely manner that way.

@Jarrod_UncutOuch, that sucks. Note for clients: sometimes we can’t present information in the way you want us to because of the limitations of a certain platform or out of sensitivity to legal concerns. It’s not always an oversight or a deliberate omission, but sometimes it is. Providers and platforms vary.

Here’s how I get around it. Who knows how long this will fly, but you could try some clever version of it. Imperfect solution I admit, and it’s at the bottom of the page in a less obvious location, but at least one way to get by.

This is topic pops up every few months. We have many past threads covering the subject. Here are a couple to reference: