To Count or Not To Count?

[BuffaloKyle]

This is kind of a silly topic. But I recently noticed when I pay the provider it's about 50/50 in terms of guys who will count the money in front of me and those who will put it right in their pocket without counting. I'm sure that half counts it once they are leaving or I leave. I think the half who put it right in their pocket sees it as rude or not trustworthy to stand there and count the money in front of the client. But if I was a provider I actually would also want to make sure a client didn't overpay on accident and kindly ask if they left a tip or didn't count right themselves if there was extra money that was handed over.

[56harrisond]

I prefer to pay in cash the first time I meet a provider. I like to make sure he sees me put the money on the table then excuse myself to the bathroom. This allows him to count it or not while I'm out of the room. Once a provider miscounted/undercounted the amount and asked about it when I returned to the room. I said it was correct and I asked him to recount, awkward.

[BCMan]

I always pay cash immediately upon meeting. And I always first meet in a public place, usually a bar. It’s in an envelope. Sometimes I will encourage them to go to the bathroom and count it themselves. I want to get it over with, and I want them to be comfortable and not worried about it. Yes, there is risk involved in that. But so far I haven’t been burned. 

[Wings246]

I asked a somewhat related question a few months ago:

 

I always pay in cash and I actually want them to count it in front of me for all of the reasons (and a few more) mentioned above by @BuffaloKyle.  Nonetheless, all of them either just leave the envelope on the table or stuff it in their pockets without even opening it.  I honestly won’t be offended if they count it (I tell them so each and every time).  I just want to make sure everything is accurate.  But I guess they all trust me.

[DMonDude]

The times i pay cash, they've always counted it in front of me, but i've heard some guys don't. And i think they should and i don't see it as rude if they do. I'd much rather they know they got what they asked for and i know i didn't accidentally hand them less/more than intended.

I definitely think the notion that counting the money whether in front of the client or not is rude/impolite isn't right. I think it's similar to the false notion that office workers discussing their pay is rude/impolite. It's not, it just isn't conducive to the employer getting away with under paying or unevenly paying the employees 😆.

Edited yesterday at 01:54 AM by DMonDude

[Mark_fl]

If they are counting, I'd rather it be in front of me. I make sure the amount is correct, so I don't want them to count it out of my sight and tell me I was short.

[+ JamesB]

I guess I have an honest face. I always pay cash in an envelope, and almost none of them have ever counted the money in front of me. Only two that I can remember have actually counted it, and curiously, both were from Venezuela. Maybe it’s a cultural thing. Whether they count it or not doesn’t really matter to me. I always check and double check that I have the correct amount.

[+ Jamie21]

If I’m paid in cash (which is about 30% of the time) I don’t count it in front of them unless they ask me to. Only once did I get shorted but I called the guy back because it was like half the correct amount and he was apologetic and had miscounted. It was fine.

I find it awkward to count it when the client is getting dressed so I just put it aside and count it if they leave the room or once they have gone. If I’m in a hotel I count it discreetly in the corridor outside the room. 

[+ Pensant]

Rarely have they counted in front of me; however, I don’t care when they do.

[Chien Andalou]

I always pay in cash, and I usually fan it out when I put it down. That way that they can quickly eyeball the amount. If I tip, I might also say I put a little extra for you. 

[Mark_fl]

I don't find it at all insulting if they count immediately. I don't prepay, so they have taken the risk up to that point. I cant think of any service where they trust you to have paid the right about before you leave. Maybe a restaurant that has table kiosks, but verifying proper payment seems pretty normal to me.

[+ 7829V]

I always pay cash in an envelope, and out of ALL the providers I’ve paid, only one has ever counted the money in front of me. Everyone else just takes the envelope and that’s it.

[Nightowl]

I just put the cash on a table, in or out of an envelope.  No one has ever counted it in my presence but some have texted me their profuse thanks when I am driving home.

[ACluelessGent]

I don't use cash. I make the transfer at the start of the meeting to make sure I don't forget it and get it out of the way.

[viewing ownly]

I'm just there with him to be touched. I only care that I counted properly before seeing him and donating up front where he can see that I am legit. When he counts it isn't my worry. I'm getting naked and going where I'm directed, as now money is out of my hands.

The only money issue I ever had with a provider was when he told me to "name my own price". While clearly I didn't over-donate nor low-ball him being put in that spot, he was having far more fun with me than the other way around. I wished it was a grindr hook-up instead of a financial situation. 

[thruster]

19 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

If I’m paid in cash (which is about 30% of the time) I don’t count it in front of them unless they ask me to. Only once did I get shorted but I called the guy back because it was like half the correct amount and he was apologetic and had miscounted. It was fine.

I find it awkward to count it when the client is getting dressed so I just put it aside and count it if they leave the room or once they have gone. If I’m in a hotel I count it discreetly in the corridor outside the room. 

I always pay up front, in cash in a plain white envelope, which I either place on a dresser or on a table as the provider watches, or I hand it to the provider. I then excuse myself to the bathroom (toilet, when in the UK😃) to freshen up.  I have never had any problems.

[MscleLovr]

I too always put cash in an envelope.
And when I hand the envelope over as payment to any tradesman, I urge the recipient to check the amount (even tho I counted it 2x myself).

Like others, I’ve only seen one person actually check the amount in front of me.

But as I live in a high-security building, I always mention to a first-time-visitor that there are cameras in the elevators and lobby areas…in case they should feel the need to check once outside my apartment.

Edited 7 hours ago by MscleLovr

[+ Jamie21]

4 hours ago, thruster said:

I always pay up front, in cash in a plain white envelope, which I either place on a dresser or on a table as the provider watches, or I hand it to the provider. I then excuse myself to the bathroom (toilet, when in the UK😃) to freshen up.  I have never had any problems.

If you’re a Brit of a certain kind you’ll call the toilet the ‘bog’… as in “I’ll just take a piss in the bog” 🙂.

I always think it’s sweet when a client leaves the money in an envelope at the start, especially if he has written my name on it. I imagine him at home counting the money, finding an envelope and putting the notes in, then writing ‘Jamie’ on the front. It’s got a tenderness and sense of decency that appeals to me. It’s usually the most inexperienced or innocent clients who do this, especially those who pay beforehand.

Then there’s the ones who chuck a wad of notes on the massage table or bed once they’re dressed, almost like they are shooting cum gratuitously and casually. I find that kind of jarring and feel the need to pick the notes up and quickly organise them so that the Monarch (if they are British notes….any hard currency is acceptable!) is facing the same way and they are in order from largest denomination to smallest. Details….details 

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

4 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Then there’s the ones who chuck a wad of notes on the massage table or bed once they’re dressed, almost like they are shooting cum gratuitously and casually. I find that kind of jarring and feel the need to pick the notes up and quickly organise them so that the Monarch (if they are British notes….any hard currency is acceptable!) is facing the same way and they are in order from largest denomination to smallest. Details….details 

At the end of the session, I almost always place the notes on the end of the massage table or bed while getting dressed and casually talking with the masseur or escort.  The notes are always bank face (facing the same direction) and in order by denomination.  I find it neat and less "transactional" to place the notes there rather than hand it to the men directly.  Plus, it gives the masseur or escort a chance to visually see it's all there before he picks it up.

But, @Jamie21 please let me know if payment placed neatly on the massage table or bed is perceived as tacky and if direct payment from hand to hand would be more genteel.

[+ Just Chuck]

If I'm hosting, I like to array the cash in a way that a person can easily count it at a glance.  If the agreed rate is 300, I lay out three rows of five twenties.  I like to put it someplace deeper into the room where someone will be several steps inside the location before they can touch it.  I've never met with someone who I think might grab-and-dash at the beginning of the meeting, but I might someday.  Tip money is out-of-sight and I decide if or how much based on services rendered.  

[TMB]

On 9/16/2026 at 6:57 AM, Pensant said:

Rarely have they counted in front of me; however, I don’t care when they do.

This has been my experience and is my feeling as well.  But I've mostly done Zelle/Venmo