Hire Someone you Know?

[LB2]

I saw a guy on rentmasseur I’ve met a few times. Just an acquaintance, but would definitely know each other by name. I’ve wanted a massage from him for months and finally think I’m going to take the plunge. Awkward?  Inappropriate?

[+ Jamie21]

I can speak from the other perspective. I’ve been hired by people I know, friends and acquaintances. Given the type of massage I do it can be kind of awkward. There’s an additional dynamic when you know someone but my view is that given they want to hire me, and they understand what I do, I treat them exactly the same way I do ‘normal’ clients, including charging the normal rate (no ‘mates rates’). Actually if they ask for mates rates I find that even more awkward than being nakedly intimate with them!!! 

My advice is think carefully and if you decide to go ahead don’t ask him for ‘mates rates’, tell him you want him to treat you like any client and assure him that if he’s not wanting to accept you as a client he can decline and you won’t seek any reason or let it affect your friendship. If you can’t make that last point genuinely then don’t even try to book him. 
 

[LB2]

Thanks for this!  Very helpful. I did reach out and asked him what his rates were after telling him who I was. No attempt for a discount. Gave me his standard rate, I believe. We don’t have a relationship/friendship where we would hang out or see each other in overlapping friend circles, so I hope it isn’t awkward or look desperate. 

[soloyo215]

17 hours ago, LB2 said:

I saw a guy on rentmasseur I’ve met a few times. Just an acquaintance, but would definitely know each other by name. I’ve wanted a massage from him for months and finally think I’m going to take the plunge. Awkward?  Inappropriate?

I think it depends. I have some friends and acquaintances that I just can't fathom having that kind of experiences with any of them. Then there are others that I can easily see going beyond the awkwardness. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

Go for it!   Personally, I’d Be full in disclosure upfront and confirm he’s ok before you show up. 

[+ purplekow]

Years ago, I hired an escort on the recommendation of an agency.  When the escort showed up at the door we soon recognized each other as his being a friend of on of my employees.  I had admired his ass-ets and his general appearance and it had been several years since we had seen each other.  When he realized that we knew each other, I asked if he was okay going ahead with it and he said he was if I was.  We met and then met every month or so for many years.  

My advice is to just go for it.  You may have more in common than just a casual passing acquaintance and if you are attracted, then why hesistate?

[nomad]

@LB2 Don't see any issues.  You know one another casually.  It may actually make easier for you to be comfortable with each other.  A lot of times 1st meeting can be very awkward since neither no each other.  It doesn't sound that is the case.  Relax and enjoy!

[jeezifonly]

Be comfortable with the notion that details of your anatomy and intimate yucks and yums may be shared with mutuals. So long as it's nowhere near a connection to worklife, it's harmless for these folks to have certain pictures in their heads you may not know about...

[Nightowl]

Not inapproptiate since he’s advertising on RMass.  Awkward?  Probably at first, but the awkwardness will go away once the clothes are off and you’re on his table.  

[Mark_fl]

I think it would have to be awkward. Do all your mutual acquaintances know you're both attracted to men? Do they know one of you hires sex workers? Do they know onenof you IS a swx worker? Do you want your provider to know where you live?

Yes, it may be a turn-on to be with someone you didn't know was available to you, but I would find it more stressful than erotic, especially after the fact.

Easy pass. 

[Minneapolis]

In your case, it seems like the awkward part is already behind you. You know he advertises massages, and he knows you've seen those ads.  You really can't put that genie back in the bottle at this point. 

If you are both comfortable with it, I'd say go for it.  Otherwise, you'll probably spend time wondering what it would have been like than regretting giving it at try.

One time I was at the Gay 90's downtown in the Men's Room the men-only bar inside the club, where the strippers came in between sets.  One of them turned out to be a former employee of mine.  He had worked part-time for me while he was in high school.  Now he was in his 20's and honestly couldn't believe it--it was the last place I expected to run into him.

I had always assumed he was straight.  As it turned out, he was.  He was dancing and stripping because the money was good.

I tried to slip away before he noticed me, but it was too late.  He walked right up with a big smile and asked how I'd been.  We chatted for a couple of minutes.  I had always assumed he was straight.  As it turned out, he was.  He was dancing and stripping because the money was good.

I told him I was going to walk around the rest of the bar--really, I was just trying to get out of there because the whole situation felt awkward.

Instead, he smiled and said, "Wouldn't you like to stay and get a lap dance?"

I laughed and told him it would be weird.

He grinned and said, "You know you want to."

He was right.  I caved.

The lap dance itself was fine, but that wasn't really the point.  My heart was pounding the entire time.  It was equal parts exciting and surreal because I had known him years earlier in such a completely different context. I'm so glad I agreed to the lap dance.  I still remember his smile (and his incredible body) to this day. 

So again, go for it if you are both comfortable and it won't be weird when you bump into each other in the future. Enjoy!