Sorry, It's Your Problem Now because I'm Dead

[+ purplekow]

This is the title of a work book a friend sent me after I had a recent medical event.  The book is designed to help you get your affairs together for end of life care and estate planning.  It is basically a preparatory document which you can use to discuss your estate planning with a professional.  I am not particularly recommending this book, but it did cause me to consider speeding up the process which I had already started to get my affairs in order.  

I believe I am late to this as I have already retired and I have only recently started to work on this material.

My question is:   If you have started or reached a steady state with your estate planning, at what age did you first look to do so?  

If you have not, at what age do you expect to start tending to this matter?

[jeezifonly]

Worth looking into!!!

Most of us don't think of what we'll be leaving behind as An Estate,

but if we've reached the age of awareness of the elders in our extended family dying, or facing end-of-life care, it is time to establish on paper our intentions for our own progress into that stage of life. 

Of course, in addition to POA, DNA, and real property designation, a proper workbook would include specific bequests of silicone toys, cast albums, and leather gear... 😜

[+ PhileasFogg]

First, I hope you’re on a path to full recovery Dr PK!

I redid everything at the beginning of COVID when notaries witnessed signatures by video.  I was late 50’s.  I had previous wills and planning that became irrelevant as my kids launched and grandkids entered the picture. 

[maninsoma]

I started the process in my mid to late fifties.  

[+ Pensant]

I set up my first Trust in my late 30’s. I’ve updated it regularly and need to do it again. My sister and I have even discussed buying our stones in our large family plot in Upper Bucks County.

[+ Charlie]

My plans for the hereafter have usually been in response to the death of someone close to me. I made my first will when I was in my 40s, as a result of dealing with my father's death.  When friends my own age started dying during the AIDS epidemic, I started thinking about what would happen if I were to go relatively unexpectedly, and began to revise the will to deal with things like the distribution of personal papers. I was happily married for many years, but the death of my partner a couple of years ago made me realize the necessity of major changes to the existing will, of which he was to be the executor and primary beneficiary.  With no children or close family members, and with most close friends as likely to die before as after me, I had to find someone I could trust to understand and carry out my wishes. I settled on my partner's youngest brother, with whom I have been friendly for many years, and his brother's daughter--a very responsible lawyer--as co-executors, because they would understand the situation and would be willing and capable of carrying out my wishes. Their family members will also be beneficiaries, so it is in their own interest to take care of things.  

But I am also thinking now about getting rid of lots of things before I die, so no one else will have to deal with them when my time comes.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

13 hours ago, purplekow said:

My question is:   If you have started or reached a steady state with your estate planning, at what age did you first look to do so?  

I started looking into beneficiaries at age 21 when I had to choose a survivor beneficiary for my pension.  I mentioned the need to create a trust to a friend of mine at around age 25, and he offered to help because he was an estate planning attorney.  However, when we began the process it felt very rushed and not thought-through so I stopped.  Finally, at age 33, I met with a different attorney and created a will, trust, power of attorney, healthcare directives, etc.

So, I've had everything in order since age 33.  I figured Jesus didn't live past 33, so what makes me think I could? 

[+ purplekow]

I think simplifying is a good idea.  When I moved from NJ to PS, i did get rid of a lot of stuff but not nearly enough.  Now that I am settling in here, there are items that I have not unpacked and clothes which I have not worn.  The next time my regular guy comes by for a three day stay, one of the things we will be doing, besides each other, is unloading a lot of this stuff.  It is not really an escort experience, but it is a boyfriend experience of a very real kind.  

[samhexum]

With my luck I'll just keep going on and on for far too long and will have had to sell everything I own by the time I die, so unless my niece and nephew want the refrigerator box I'll be living in I don't feel the need for estate planning.

[+ JamesB]

I started it when my son was born and have simply kept it updated over the years as needed.

[Luv2play]

I had to do estate planning by filing a will and other legal instruments pertaining to my estate when I was sent overseas as a diplomat. At that time I was in my early thirties and over the decades I have made a few new wills as my circumstances changed. 
A few years ago I ordered a nice granite marker to add to the family plot which holds my grandparents and an assortment of great uncles and aunts. My parents are buried together in Montreal but I left there years ago and am in the land of my ancestors up to 5 generations before me. All that has to be done is to add the year of my death to my stone. 
Like some others here I have started giving away a few things but still have much left to deal with. Ugh.

[TonyDown]

I've been procrastinating writing The Letter, information everyone would appreciate knowing after I'm gone.  When deployed in armed conflict, such as US troops that went to Afghanistan, is a time that many write such a letter.

I was going to print my draft last night but my printer ink cartridge went dry.   😆That said I thought of more to add in the meantime.

I hadn't thought of following a template such as the OP suggested.  I will look for that.

As far as formal estate documents, I completed those, signed and notarized.  My financial advisor admitted too many of his clients have not, against all his encouragement to get it done.

Sometimes I do admit "what do I care? I'll be dead." But knowing how much work is left, after Mom died, I have been continuously thinning out all the stuff I've accumulated.  Perhaps part of the thinning out is more to do with watching the hoarding TV show, that I realize how accumulating stuff can seem insane.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

When I die, I hope people say just one thing about me: 

"That guy sure owed me a lot of money"

[Rayphactor]

Hope all is back to normal, PK

I did mine when I turned 50. I had the unfortunate experience of dealing with estate matters for by dad and brother-in-law (on behalf of my sister) after both died unexpectedly.  It is a complete pain in the ass if the loved one wasn't prepared, especially when it comes to real estate. 

I first created a trust. Contrary to popular belief, one does not need wealth to create a trust. Being single, I asked my nephew to be primary and niece to be contingent.  I've provided both of them with paper documents, keep a copy of the documents in a fireproof safe at my place, and am hosting them on a Fidelity's FidSafe | Secure Storage For What Matters site so they can access online if needed. And, because I tend to over prepare, gave them written instructions on what to do as a trustee when I pass.

Recorded the property deed to the trust, set all insurance policy and retirement account beneficiaries to be the trust; converted my personal banking accounts to the trust. 

Then executed the Power of Attorney for healthcare (advanced directives), Power of Attorney for Property, and will. 

I never want one of my family members to have to go through what I needed to.

There are two questions that still linger in my mind for when I pass:

 a) who's gonna find my adult toy(s) if i pass unexpectedly and I didn't get a chance to discard them ... and what will their reaction be?

 b) will my favorite regular provider miss me or just miss the income he gets from me?

[+ Pensant]

10 hours ago, Rayphactor said:

There are two questions that still linger in my mind for when I pass:

 a) who's gonna find my adult toy(s) if i pass unexpectedly and I didn't get a chance to discard them ... and what will their reaction be?

That’s always a nagging concern for me!

[marylander1940]

On 6/18/2026 at 12:06 AM, purplekow said:

This is the title of a work book a friend sent me after I had a recent medical event.  The book is designed to help you get your affairs together for end of life care and estate planning.  It is basically a preparatory document which you can use to discuss your estate planning with a professional.  I am not particularly recommending this book, but it did cause me to consider speeding up the process which I had already started to get my affairs in order.  

I believe I am late to this as I have already retired and I have only recently started to work on this material.

My question is:   If you have started or reached a steady state with your estate planning, at what age did you first look to do so?  

If you have not, at what age do you expect to start tending to this matter?

It depends on many things. How old are you and are you HWP/healthy? 

I know folks who did it in their 40's just in case.... I waited until I was 70 and I have updated my will twice. 

Whatever happened to that thread about reverse mortgage in exchange for escort services?

On 6/18/2026 at 12:58 AM, jeezifonly said:

Worth looking into!!!

Most of us don't think of what we'll be leaving behind as An Estate,

but if we've reached the age of awareness of the elders in our extended family dying, or facing end-of-life care, it is time to establish on paper our intentions for our own progress into that stage of life. 

Of course, in addition to POA, DNA, and real property designation, a proper workbook would include specific bequests of silicone toys, cast albums, and leather gear... 😜

I think he's just referring to a couple of houses, stock, bank accounts, car, etc. using the term "estate" is a bit grandstanding but makes sense if you have more than one property. 

[nomad]

Hope ur better PK!   

 

On 6/17/2026 at 9:06 PM, purplekow said:

My question is:   If you have started or reached a steady state with your estate planning, at what age did you first look to do so?  

Depends on if you have kids or other people to worry about.  With kids, you should start thinking about things shortly after they are born so they are provided for should something happen.  Set up my first trust at 26.  Good idea to revise it every 5 years or so to accurately reflect the changes in your life.   It allows you to consider if you really want to do that or this?  What you thought was important at 30 is different at 40/50/60/etc.  

[+ purplekow]

52 minutes ago, nomad said:

Hope ur better PK!   

 

 

Just got back from my post hospital follow up.  So far so good, but nothing is certain.  In any case, my current regular guy will be here in ten day and while he does not know what we will be doing apart from the usual frolicking, I am sure he will be okay with it.  He has volunteered to help me clean my house before and I will enjoy watching him do so in a minimal, if any, attire.

[nomad]

Glad you're feeling better.  🙏 You should set a house rule "clothing is not allowed once you step over the door threshold."  Dance!  Shake those clothes off baby!  😆