*Yet another warning about deposits

[Delter]

11 minutes ago, PhileasFogg said:

Come on guys.  I think we can agree on many things:

1) providers have risks to mitigate and clients do too

2) reviews and/or personal experience matter in assessing the reliability of a provider

3) no one operates in a vacuum.  Some markets are deserts with few providers and it’s a seller’s market.  Others are saturated and it’s a buyer’s market 

4) we each have an amount that we define as token - for some it’s $50, others it’s $250, others it’s more.  The more it is to US, the more it matters on whether we should accede to a deposit and how much we can risk.

There is not a single incumbent provider in New Orleans I want to see - if they’re my type, they are probably addicts and unreliable.  When we have an appealing visitor, I absolutely am willing to pay a deposit when it feels right. Otherwise, I’m importing talent at great expense and the deposit is called a “plane ticket.”  

Some of us indeed do make the grand leap of faith of flying people out.

 

I don’t do that without a ton of judgement, vetting, inquiries, and review of comments on CoM and RM, but it usually leads to a spectacular evening/weekend for me.

 

Say what you will about deposit scammers that personally victimized you , but point (1) here by @PhileasFogg is indispensable: providers encounter time wasters, flakers who make them take 3 hour trips for nothing, scammers, etc as well. 
 

Some clients may hope that deposits will vanish as a policy, but that is just unrealistic given the bullshit that providers face as well.

Edited Thursday at 07:45 PM by Delter

[Dicastri]

In the end, the sides of the market will react in equilibrium. You as a client don’t have to pay a deposit. That’s fine and respectable, and may influence the provider’s decision to make a possibly lengthy trip to you/ prep for you in the case they are bottoming. All is well ❤️ 🌈 💋.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

7 hours ago, Mark_fl said:

I can think of a way to reduce that risk to 0.0%

This is just silly. You don't pay a deposit, but then the provider takes your watch.

Life is not without risk. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

7 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

This is just silly. You don't pay a deposit, but then the provider takes your watch.

Life is not without risk. 

Once time is gone, you can never get it back. ⌚ 😢 

[mike carey]

3 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Once time is gone, you can never get it back. ⌚ 😢 

Watch what you are saying there!

[+ PhileasFogg]

1 hour ago, mike carey said:

Watch what you are saying there!

Tie-eye-eye-im is on your side

yes it is yes it is

wait, I’m off topic 😬

[Mark_fl]

7 hours ago, Delter said:

Some clients may hope that deposits will vanish as a policy, but that is just unrealistic given the bullshit that providers face as well.

They've already vanished for me. That said, I would never ask a provider that didn't know me to travel even an hour,  let alone fly. Also, in lieu of a deposit, I will have a phone call, video call, whatever to show to him I'm real. If there was a way for him to confirm with a previous provider I've seen that I am what I say I am, I'd authorize that as well.  

If every client refused deposits unless the provider was having to go out of pocket or drive an hour or more, then yes, this issue would go away.

[mike carey]

6 minutes ago, SidewaysDM said:

In the near future, it would not be a great surprise to find most reputable providers requiring a deposit, from all future clients. Clients that find deposits abhorrent and unnecessary will find themselves unable to hire a decent provider. 

Perhaps. I'm not a provider, but I've been here long enough and read enough said on both sides of these transactions and on both sides of this debate to know that nothing is absolute. There are people here who have been burnt often enough by either flakes or by deposits that were not honoured to have formed unwavering rules for what they demand or will accept. Others, probably more often clients than active escorts, have yet to have such a disappointment. I have also read providers who treat flakes as a cost of doing business, and say that the incidence is sufficiently rare that they are prepared to absorb the risk of not having a deposit. But they are often those sufficiently established that they have honed their antennae, and either require a deposit or simply decline an appointment if enough flags are raised.

There are many professions where there is a substantial literature of what works and does not in the business, and on the benefits and pitfalls of various strategies. This is perhaps not one of them. Its rules are not sub rosa, that is the province of that other ancient profession, but they less obvious than some other more public professions. I suspect that there will always be providers willing, at times, to accept appointments without a deposit, and clients willing to take the risk of paying one, some even if the deposit is substantial.

[Delter]

4 hours ago, Mark_fl said:

They've already vanished for me. That said, I would never ask a provider that didn't know me to travel even an hour,  let alone fly. Also, in lieu of a deposit, I will have a phone call, video call, whatever to show to him I'm real. If there was a way for him to confirm with a previous provider I've seen that I am what I say I am, I'd authorize that as well.  

If every client refused deposits unless the provider was having to go out of pocket or drive an hour or more, then yes, this issue would go away.

They indeed probably have vanished for you, alongside some actual meetings.

An hour is one example. I think a trip that lasts even 30 minutes is considerably long too, and factoring the trip back home, becomes an hour.

I don’t  think someone having a FaceTime with a provider to “show they are real” necessarily means that they can’t still flake/cancel/block while the provider is already well on the way. 

A world without at least some clients paying deposits is impossible, just as a world where all providers can successfully request a deposit is impossible. Both sides have uncertainties to cover.

[Mark_fl]

4 hours ago, Delter said:

They indeed probably have vanished for you, alongside some actual meetings.

Not that I know. Maybe I'm selective, maybe because of my communication,  or most likely my profile clearly states I pay cash, but I've never been asked for one. 

It's also entirely possible that they read I pay cash, realize that means no deposit, and don't respond to my query.  Which is good.  Saves us from an uncomfortable position.

Edited Friday at 11:59 AM by Mark_fl

[Delter]

4 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

Not that I know. Maybe I'm selective, maybe because of my communication,  or most likely my profile clearly states I pay cash, but I've never been asked for one. 

It's also entirely possible that they read I pay cash, realize that means no deposit, and don't respond to my query.  Which is good.  Saves us from an uncomfortable position.

Incredible that you’ve never been asked for a deposit. 
 

If you have a profile somewhere, I’d take out the “I pay cash” part, just to avoid any legal attention.

If you have found a way to repel providers who would ask for a deposit, that’s a strategy that can indeed save you from an uncomfortable situation/ a wasted conversation.

[Mark_fl]

Just now, Delter said:

Incredible that you’ve never been asked for a deposit. 
 

If you have a profile somewhere, I’d take out the “I pay cash” part, just to avoid any legal attention.

If you have found a way to repel providers who would ask for a deposit, that’s a strategy that can indeed save you from an uncomfortable situation/ a wasted conversation.

Why do you think, "I pay cash" is a concern? Its an escort site where you are paying for time.  Some form of payment has to be legal. Why not cash?

[Delter]

5 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

Why do you think, "I pay cash" is a concern? Its an escort site where you are paying for time.  Some form of payment has to be legal. Why not cash?

It’s just something to be lightly considered. I’m saying that it’s best to not suggest any form of payment on a public profile at all, given that “s*x for MonAy” can be legally controversial in the US

Edited Friday at 12:14 PM by Delter

[+ JamesB]

3 hours ago, Delter said:

Incredible that you’ve never been asked for a deposit. 

Why would you find it “incredible”? I’ve been doing this longer than I care to admit and I’ve only been asked for a deposit once. The fact that one member keeps bringing it up in what feels like an attempt to frame it as a universal requirement doesn’t make it so.

[MikeBiDude]

8 hours ago, Delter said:

I don’t  think someone having a FaceTime with a provider to “show they are real” necessarily means that they can’t still flake/cancel/block while the provider is already well on the way. 

Maybe not, but I (and others here I know of) have a 100% success rate with no deposit and a pre-meet video call - zero no shows.

[Delter]

2 hours ago, JamesB said:

Why would you find it “incredible”? I’ve been doing this longer than I care to admit and I’ve only been asked for a deposit once. The fact that one member keeps bringing it up in what feels like an attempt to frame it as a universal requirement doesn’t make it so.

Are you suggesting it is me who is trying to frame it as a universal requirement? I actually don’t see anyone in this thread trying to do that. If anything, I'm seeing defenders of occasional deposit use. Even I almost always decline to pay a deposit lol, because the person is maybe too close such that I don't think its needed, or they don't have enough good reviews on RM/CoM, or there are definitevly negative reviews about them.  I actually decline to pay a deposit 85% of the time that I am asked to pay one 🤣.

 

I think that there are circumstances though, where I find it acceptable to pay a deposit. I am just in disagreement with one or more people who advocate for an absolute end to all deposits.

 Additionally, I do find it incredible that someone has never been asked for a deposit, because I assume many people have made dozens of different inquiries with distinct providers and that it is likely that one would encounter at least one provider who would ask for a deposit.

 

Edited Friday at 06:00 PM by Delter

[Delter]

1 hour ago, MikeBiDude said:

Maybe not, but I (and others here I know of) have a 100% success rate with no deposit and a pre-meet video call - zero no shows.

Awesome. Can you define 100% success rate here? I'm unclear about whether the no-shows are provider no-shows or client no-shows. Do you mean that

You 100% of the time successfully meet with providers that you promise you will meet? Thats great for you that you are quite a considerate, punctual, and kind provider! Indeed, I suspect many of us in this thread and forum are similarly noble clients! I doubt that this sort of upstanding  100% rate client is the only (or even modal) type of person that providers encounter on the scammer/timewaster-filled website that is rent.men.

 

 

Edited Friday at 05:48 PM by Delter

[rickster]

4 hours ago, Delter said:

It’s just something to be lightly considered. I’m saying that it’s best to not suggest any form of payment on a public profile at all, given that “s*x for MonAy” can be legally controversial in the US

It's not "legally controversial," it's against the law in nearly all US states, normally a misdemeanor.  But I don't think most states would consider buying and selling of sex on Rentmen as a high priority for enforcement - the focus is on trafficking and street prostitution.  Also, in the event that somebody wanted to use Rentmen for law enforcement purposes, a disclaimer that money is for time only is not going to be much help since there presumably would be ample evidence to the contrary.

[Delter]

Just now, rickster said:

It's not "legally controversial," it's against the law in nearly all US states, normally a misdemeanor.  But I don't think most states would consider buying and selling of sex on Rentmen as a high priority for enforcement - the focus is on trafficking and street prostitution.  Also, in the event that somebody wanted to use Rentmen for law enforcement purposes, a disclaimer that money is for time only is not going to be much help since there presumably would be ample evidence to the contrary.

Yes lol, I was being euphemistic with the term "legally controversial". Additionally, I am in full agreement with your last sentence.

[liubit]

9 hours ago, Delter said:

Additionally, I do find it incredible that someone has never been asked for a deposit, because I assume many people have made dozens of different inquiries with distinct providers and that it is likely that one would encounter at least one provider who would ask for a deposit.

Well, in my 30+ years of hiring, I have NEVER been asked for a deposit, never. 

[mike carey]

11 hours ago, JamesB said:

Why would you find it “incredible”? I’ve been doing this longer than I care to admit and I’ve only been asked for a deposit once. The fact that one member keeps bringing it up in what feels like an attempt to frame it as a universal requirement doesn’t make it so.

It seems, some people think that endlessly repeating makes something so, and that a small variation on a theme is a completely new argument.

10 hours ago, Delter said:

Are you suggesting it is me who is trying to frame it as a universal requirement? 

No, I am almost certain that it was not you. And I think I'm not alone in knowing exactly who he was referring to. And not the OP either.😉

[Dicastri]

4 hours ago, mike carey said:

No, I am almost certain that it was not you. And I think I'm not alone in knowing exactly who he was referring to. And not the OP either.😉

Are you referring to me? If so, point out the text in this thread which suggests I am trying to make deposits seem like a universal requirement.

[mike carey]

No, I was not.

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

In Bozo's years of hiring, he was only asked one time for a deposit. When Bozo informed the provider that a deposit would be a deal-breaker, he relented, and backed off the demand.

When an escort requires a deposit in advance, Bozo uses that as part of the weeding out process. In most mid-to-large size cities, there are so many choices (i.e. on any given day, NYC could have upwards of 400 escorts to choose from). A provider asking for a deposit is simply another tool to use to separate the wheat from the chaff. It's no different than any other criteria - too old, too fat, too skinny, too hairy, too ugly, too much ink, too much foreskin, etc.). 
In most metropolitan areas there is absolutely no logical reason to pay an upfront deposit when there are dozens (or even hundreds) of willing escorts who won't make that demand, and can be found by simply flipping to the next page in your city on Rentmen.

 

BTC
🤡

Edited Saturday at 04:05 PM by BOZO T CLOWN

[Mark_fl]

10 minutes ago, BOZO T CLOWN said:

When an escort requires a deposit...is simply another tool to use to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Agreed. Its a warning about professionalism.  And just like we have many red flags to scare us off providers, providers do the same. Providers asking for deposits are either scammers or don't have the skills to screen customers in other ways and must resort to deposits