To Face or Not to Face

[+ PhileasFogg]

I know a lot of members here have a firm rule: no face pics, no hire. We all have our boundaries, and most of us have them for perfectly valid reasons. But in the last few weeks, I’ve had two extraordinary experiences with providers whose profiles don’t show their faces — encounters that never would have happened if I followed that rule.

One was just this past weekend in New Orleans with SamRockdale. @SamRockdale is an exceptional young man whose personality, grounding, and connection far exceeded what any picture could convey. (His 7 five-star reviews speak for themselves.) The other was last month in Iceland with someone - nameless - who prefers to keep a low profile but has built an incredibly strong reputation with over 60 five-star reviews.

Because I tend to advocate for providers’ perspectives in these debates and their rights to be respected, I’m genuinely curious why some clients maintain such a strict - and risky to the provider - requirement. There are other ways to “meet” someone — video chats, voice calls, verification through reviews or references — that still respect a provider’s desire for privacy and do not require a face pic on an uncontrolled public forum.

In today’s world, privacy isn’t just reasonable; it’s necessary. These guys already give a lot of themselves in this line of work. To me, the choice not to reveal their face often signals that they have meaningful lives outside this space — careers, families, social networks — which can actually make them more grounded, well-rounded, and appealing companions.

So I’m honestly interested: what drives the “no face pic” rule for those of you who hold to it? What risks or concerns outweigh the potential of meeting someone great or seeing their face in a different way?

[Nue2thegame]

While I prefer to see a face pic in advance, I can readily understand why an otherwise desirable provider may elect not to post one. Requesting one usually invites the “I’ll show you mine, if you’ll show me yours “,  which I’m unwilling to do. I have waived my preference to see a photo when there is a favorable “reliable” review commenting on the face. Even though this is subjective, it’s worked well for me so far. 

[Spikeguy]

For me no matter how hot a body is if I’m not attracted to the face I’m not interested.  So I would rather miss out on someone who won’t show their face than get an unpleasant surprise.  

[+ PhileasFogg]

1 hour ago, Spikeguy said:

For me no matter how hot a body is if I’m not attracted to the face I’m not interested.  So I would rather miss out on someone who won’t show their face than get an unpleasant surprise.  

I understand completely and feel the same way.   But would you, for instance, go the extra step of arranging a video call?

[mike carey]

2 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

One was just this past weekend in New Orleans with SamRockdale. @SamRockdale is an exceptional young man whose personality, grounding, and connection far exceeded what any picture could convey.

Thanks for this post confirming the impression I had gained.

[+ DrownedBoy]

I don't hire without seeing a face, and I have the money. Providers have the right to hide their face; I have the right to hide my money.

If a provider is clearly trustworthy I'd exchange photos. Otherwise, I treat them the same as the closet cases on Grindr.

[Spikeguy]

22 minutes ago, PhileasFogg said:

I understand completely and feel the same way.   But would you, for instance, go the extra step of arranging a video call?

Yes although I’m not sure that really protects the provider because the potential client can take a screen shot and do whatever with it.

[+ PhileasFogg]

7 minutes ago, Spikeguy said:

Yes although I’m not sure that really protects the provider because the potential client can take a screen shot and do whatever with it.

You're completely right.   In my experience, I wouldn't have progressed to that point until I think mutual trust was established.   

[+ purplekow]

3 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

I know a lot of members here have a firm rule: no face pics, no hire. We all have our boundaries, and most of us have them for perfectly valid reasons. But in the last few weeks, I’ve had two extraordinary experiences with providers whose profiles don’t show their faces — encounters that never would have happened if I followed that rule.

One was just this past weekend in New Orleans with SamRockdale. @SamRockdale is an exceptional young man whose personality, grounding, and connection far exceeded what any picture could convey. (His 7 five-star reviews speak for themselves.) The other was last month in Iceland with someone - nameless - who prefers to keep a low profile but has built an incredibly strong reputation with over 60 five-star reviews.

Because I tend to advocate for providers’ perspectives in these debates and their rights to be respected, I’m genuinely curious why some clients maintain such a strict - and risky to the provider - requirement. There are other ways to “meet” someone — video chats, voice calls, verification through reviews or references — that still respect a provider’s desire for privacy and do not require a face pic on an uncontrolled public forum.

In today’s world, privacy isn’t just reasonable; it’s necessary. These guys already give a lot of themselves in this line of work. To me, the choice not to reveal their face often signals that they have meaningful lives outside this space — careers, families, social networks — which can actually make them more grounded, well-rounded, and appealing companions.

So I’m honestly interested: what drives the “no face pic” rule for those of you who hold to it? What risks or concerns outweigh the potential of meeting someone great or seeing their face in a different way?

Considering my preferences, I would prefer a back or top  of the head shot rather than a face shot 

[Nue2thegame]

3 hours ago, Nue2thegame said:

While I prefer to see a face pic in advance, I can readily understand why an otherwise desirable provider may elect not to post one. Requesting one usually invites the “I’ll show you mine, if you’ll show me yours “,  which I’m unwilling to do. I have waived my preference to see a photo when there is a favorable “reliable” review commenting on the face. Even though this is subjective, it’s worked well for me so far. 

But I neglected to mention that I always bring 2 paper bags on the date. One for his head, if I’m unpleasantly surprised and one for both of us if he’s REALLY ugly. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I'm totally fine with a provider not posting his face pics. Some guys do this as a side hustle, some are in relationships, etc. 

But if I'm not attracted to someone's face, I'm not going to be interested. That said, I'm happy to do a video call if that's the provider's preference. As long as there's some way to see the provider before we set the appointment. 

[NYXboy]

32 minutes ago, Spikeguy said:

Yes although I’m not sure that really protects the provider because the potential client can take a screen shot and do whatever with it.

For this reason I use Signal and or/Whatsapp as they both have the ability to send messages that cannot be screenshot and can be set to automatically disappear. I am not ugly I have no problem sending my pic, and I do like to see the face first. 

I agree with the OP that not showing face on a rentmen profile actually makes me like the person more - for all the reasons mentioned.  I have found truth in this. 

 

[+ SirBillybob]

22 minutes ago, purplekow said:

Considering my preferences, I would prefer a back or top  of the head shot rather than a face shot 

At the risk of an overused caveat, it’s the fuck you’re facin’ not the face you’re fuckin’. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

2 minutes ago, SirBillybob said:

At the risk of an overused caveat, it’s the fuck you’re facin’ not the face you’re fuckin’. 

I do enjoy the face fucking. 

[+ SirBillybob]

I’m shallow and require advance notice about the face. I won’t ask directly for it if it’s absent but hint that I hire based on “more complete profiles with overall data conventionally sought by clients that are as shallow as me”, while sending them my photo. I broke my cardinal rule once over a year ago because I foolishly and shallowly conflated an amazing physique with the idea that only a superlative face could be attached to it. I couldn’t get into it and made some lame excuse to truncate the session and send him on his way with the agreed upon payment. 

Edited 23 hours ago by SirBillybob

[+ SirBillybob]

7 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I do enjoy the face fucking. 

But those faces look quite contorted, with gag-induced tears and extremely flushed complexion, not so representative of resting face. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Just now, SirBillybob said:

But those faces look quite contorted, with gag-induced tears and extremely flushed complexion, not so representative of resting face. 

If you're doing it correctly, absolutely. 

[DMonDude]

Similar to most here, no face pics on the profile is fine long as i get them in a DM/text or a video call. But i absolutely would not meet a provider who wants it to be a totally anonymous meetup where you don't see their face till you get there. I don't think that's common anyway though.

Edited 23 hours ago by DMonDude

[Mark_fl]

Maybe I'm unusual, but the face is second only to a lean, smooth body. I don't need a cock or ass shot. 

I can tell more from a smile or lack thereof as well. By all means discreet providers can elect not to show their face in advance, but it isn't something I would ever hire.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I have met one provider, Strong Strokes, without seeing his face but he's a masseur. Only because he was raved about and I was given a decent sense of his looks. He is very handsome and very much my type. I've seen him many times over the past three years. But he could just as easily not have been my type. 

[jeezifonly]

When hiring for massage (more likely for me now) the face is irrelevant, because my eyes will be closed. Eye contact is nice when I first arrive and we chat, but once my clothes are off, and I'm face in the cradle, I'm not real chatty, and just listen to his hands do the talking.