Does language matter?

[Redbook]

Hi there - I am still pretty new at this, having hired two different guys. One was a phenomenal experience, and one not so great experience.

This may seem naive, but I am curious about the type of language to use when contacting a provider thru RM or through text.  Is it better to say something like "I want to give oral and receive anally" or is it okay to say "I really want to suck your cock, have you fuck me hard and blow a load on my face." Does the more explicit way sound to skanky? Or does it even matter? 

[+ ApexNomad]

15 minutes ago, Redbook said:

Hi there - I am still pretty new at this, having hired two different guys. One was a phenomenal experience, and one not so great experience.

This may seem naive, but I am curious about the type of language to use when contacting a provider thru RM or through text.  Is it better to say something like "I want to give oral and receive anally" or is it okay to say "I really want to suck your cock, have you fuck me hard and blow a load on my face." Does the more explicit way sound to skanky? Or does it even matter? 

One’s an order at a fine dining restaurant, the other’s you yelling into the drive-thru speaker at 2 a.m.

[+ JamesB]

While I’m clear about what I want and what I do and don’t like, I always make sure to keep it classy.

[Nightowl]

If it’s a new provider, I probably wouldn’t recommend either the “fine dining” or “drive thru” orders that @ApexNomadso appropriately describes.  If it’s someone you’ve been with before and you know he’s likely to be game, the “drive-thru order” is probably fine.  I personally never put that much detail in any text and usually talk around the topic.  I recently told a favorite provider that I would be “clean, inside and out” which he corrected interpreted as my request that he fuck me in the ass.  

[Rudynate]

The more clearly explain what you're looking for, the better the chance is that you will get what you are looking for.

[Boaxxx]

I think this is a great question and something I struggle with as well. If it is a first time intro I try to be more "professional" in describing my wants, needs and desires. I don't want the guy to think that I am simply sexting but rather making a genuine inquiry (which I am). His response also helps set the tone going forward. Once I've established a working relationship then I feel more comfortable to be more direct. Rarely do I contact someone for a same day encounter so I state what I am looking, my interests and a brief description of myself. I also make it clear that I am not looking for right now but in the near future should our schedules sync.

[jmichaeliii]

I struggle with it too as I don't want to come off as a sleaze bag.

I have had the most success developing rapport and setting the appointment without getting into specifics.

I then tend to "test the waters" in a first meet to see whats Ok and have been lucky enough to forge a few really nice long term client-provider relationships.  Admittedly it took a couple sessions for barriers to go away.  My experience has been once both parties are relaxed with one another, great things start happening!  I love my sessions with my regulars.  That initial patience has paid wonderful dividends. 

[Redbook]

3 minutes ago, Boaxxx said:

I think this is a great question and something I struggle with as well. If it is a first time intro I try to be more "professional" in describing my wants, needs and desires. I don't want the guy to think that I am simply sexting but rather making a genuine inquiry (which I am). His response also helps set the tone going forward. Once I've established a working relationship then I feel more comfortable to be more direct. Rarely do I contact someone for a same day encounter so I state what I am looking, my interests and a brief description of myself. I also make it clear that I am not looking for right now but in the near future should our schedules sync.

Thanks. Very helpful.

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, ApexNomad said:

One’s an order at a fine dining restaurant, the other’s you yelling into the drive-thru speaker at 2 a.m.

Tha'ts hysterical @ApexNomad. but in all seriousness. Although I don't personally like communicating anything sexual (where it can be proven that I am hiring someone for sex)...but if you must be descriptive, then I would suggest your first communications be about your sexual INTERESTS and leave the dirty talk for later. 

"Hi I am interested in your profile and wanted to know if you're free for a session on Tuesday at 10:00pm. I am a dominant top who's into oral, anal and spanking. Hope to hear back from you. thanks." 

Always keep it classy until your provider takes the lead in dirty talk. 

[+ Jamie21]

Clients who phrase their requests in vivid language make me wary. Those guys tend to be the ones who never actually turn up or commit to it. They’re just sexting (same as those who send explicit pics of themselves when booking). 95% likely they’ll cancel on the day, or no show. 

On the other hand those who are so coy about expressing what they want are difficult to help. They’ll say they want ‘Tantra massage’ or ask for ‘body to body’ or ‘full service’. That latter phrase amuses me. It’s like they’re a car: “ah so you want full service?… an oil change, new spark plugs, top up the brake fluid and a test drive?”. I take a look at him (because they always send a pic) and it’s clear he’s done a couple of hundred thousand miles…       ”needs a lot of work, you’re leaking oil and the suspension has dropped, it’ll be £600 at least”. 

Sometimes they’re worried about law enforcement (which isn’t an issue here) or they simply don’t want to cause offence which is kind of endearing. I have to ask them a few questions to understand them better and then I say “so you want to fuck?”. Even over a text conversation I can sense their relief that we’ve got to the point. 

It’s best to ask in simple direct language (of course as long as you’re not worried about law enforcement) because it saves misunderstanding and time. No provider wants to deal with the clients who start with “hi” and over a whole series of messages, sometimes over days or weeks work their way via “how are you”….”do you do massage”…”my glutes are tight”…..”will I be naked?”…”will you be naked?”…”can I touch it?” (Me: touch what?). …through to the eventual admission of what they want, if indeed we ever get there. Then the killer when I state the price… “oh that’s out of my budget”. Ugh…subscribe to my OnlyFans and have a wank then, it’s cheaper. 

 

[+ poolboy48220]

Early on in my hiring, I told the guy over the phone "I've never been fucked and I'd really like to try it". He seemed a bit put off by the bluntness and said we'd talk about it once he got there.

Skip to meeting, he did fuck me, and was very good with a first-timer. It was wonderful. 

[jmichaeliii]

6 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Clients who phrase their requests in vivid language make me wary. Those guys tend to be the ones who never actually turn up or commit to it. They’re just sexting (same as those who send explicit pics of themselves when booking). 95% likely they’ll cancel on the day, or no show. 

On the other hand those who are so coy about expressing what they want are difficult to help. They’ll say they want ‘Tantra massage’ or ask for ‘body to body’ or ‘full service’. That latter phrase amuses me. It’s like they’re a car: “ah so you want full service?… an oil change, new spark plugs, top up the brake fluid and a test drive?”. I take a look at him (because they always send a pic) and it’s clear he’s done a couple of hundred thousand miles…       ”needs a lot of work, you’re leaking oil and the suspension has dropped, it’ll be £600 at least”. 

Sometimes they’re worried about law enforcement (which isn’t an issue here) or they simply don’t want to cause offence which is kind of endearing. I have to ask them a few questions to understand them better and then I say “so you want to fuck?”. Even over a text conversation I can sense their relief that we’ve got to the point. 

It’s best to ask in simple direct language (of course as long as you’re not worried about law enforcement) because it saves misunderstanding and time. No provider wants to deal with the clients who start with “hi” and over a whole series of messages, sometimes over days or weeks work their way via “how are you”….”do you do massage”…”my glutes are tight”…..”will I be naked?”…”will you be naked?”…”can I touch it?” (Me: touch what?). …through to the eventual admission of what they want, if indeed we ever get there. Then the killer when I state the price… “oh that’s out of my budget”. Ugh…subscribe to my OnlyFans and have a wank then, it’s cheaper. 

 

This is so great, you basically have summarized all my struggles with communication in this hobby!  I just never feel comfortable talking about this stuff with a provider.  I guess I am lucky the strategy I posted earlier in this thread has been mainly successful for me even if it takes a session or two to ultimate get to where I would like to be.  For me no matter what the conversation is, if the vibe isn't good it is a one time hire.   

One of my regulars knows me like a book at this point... other than pleasantries, no words need to be said from either of us.  We can just get down to business and have a great time!

[+ Jamie21]

8 minutes ago, jmichaeliii said:

One of my regulars knows me like a book at this point... other than pleasantries, no words need to be said from either of us.  We can just get down to business and have a great time!

That sums it up when the vibe is right. I know a few of my regular clients so well I just need to look in their eye, touch a certain part or whisper something in their ear and everything follows from there…No need to have any awkward conversations if they don’t want to. 

[Redbook]

8 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Clients who phrase their requests in vivid language make me wary. Those guys tend to be the ones who never actually turn up or commit to it. They’re just sexting (same as those who send explicit pics of themselves when booking). 95% likely they’ll cancel on the day, or no show. 

On the other hand those who are so coy about expressing what they want are difficult to help. They’ll say they want ‘Tantra massage’ or ask for ‘body to body’ or ‘full service’. That latter phrase amuses me. It’s like they’re a car: “ah so you want full service?… an oil change, new spark plugs, top up the brake fluid and a test drive?”. I take a look at him (because they always send a pic) and it’s clear he’s done a couple of hundred thousand miles…       ”needs a lot of work, you’re leaking oil and the suspension has dropped, it’ll be £600 at least”. 

Sometimes they’re worried about law enforcement (which isn’t an issue here) or they simply don’t want to cause offence which is kind of endearing. I have to ask them a few questions to understand them better and then I say “so you want to fuck?”. Even over a text conversation I can sense their relief that we’ve got to the point. 

It’s best to ask in simple direct language (of course as long as you’re not worried about law enforcement) because it saves misunderstanding and time. No provider wants to deal with the clients who start with “hi” and over a whole series of messages, sometimes over days or weeks work their way via “how are you”….”do you do massage”…”my glutes are tight”…..”will I be naked?”…”will you be naked?”…”can I touch it?” (Me: touch what?). …through to the eventual admission of what they want, if indeed we ever get there. Then the killer when I state the price… “oh that’s out of my budget”. Ugh…subscribe to my OnlyFans and have a wank then, it’s cheaper. 

 

Thanks for your perspective. Really appreciate it.

[+ ApexNomad]

1 hour ago, poolboy48220 said:

Early on in my hiring, I told the guy over the phone "I've never been fucked and I'd really like to try it". He seemed a bit put off by the bluntness and said we'd talk about it once he got there.

Skip to meeting, he did fuck me, and was very good with a first-timer. It was wonderful. 

Did he mention anything when you met him? Did you have to say anything further? 

[56harrisond]

 

 

[+ poolboy48220]

3 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

Did he mention anything when you met him? Did you have to say anything further? 

Not regarding my impression that he was surprised or taken aback by the request. He eased me into it, I remember he suggested it'd be easier if I was on top of him so I could control the penetration better. I just remembered it was also my first time rimming someone (which was also wonderful).

[+ PhileasFogg]

I’m very careful with language in any communication that leaves a trail 

[Redbook]

Thank you everyone for the feedback. Much appreciated.