Why do you pay for sex?

[Andysquestions]

When I was 21, guys cruised and approached me everywhere (and I do mean everywhere, 24/7. I never charged anyone, but I also never said no. Every now and then someone wanted to charge me, and my response was always, “why would I pay for it when I can get it for free?” But I was naïve, young, hung and desirable. Now I’m (ahem) 30something years past 21, and while I’m still attractive, I’m not approached or cruised remotely like I was then. While my looks may have changed, my libido hasn’t.

If I knew then, what I know now, I absolutely would have been a sex worker. By charging for it, I would have had the same amount of sex I did for free, but I’d have avoided toxic jobs, and I would be retired by now.

My point is, I applaud the young guys smart enough to provide for those who want it, and I applaud the guys that can afford to buy it as often as they like. Those who have hired understand they can cut through the red tape to get exactly what they want, free of unwanted entanglements. For some it’s about sex, for others it’s living out kinks and fantasies they wouldn’t dare try at home. And for others, being with providers enables a client feel desired, loved, safe and physically connected to another. Some guys want a weekend fling, others just want a great massage with a happy ending. But a good provider can do any and all of that. Like any job, some truly care about their clients, they enjoy providing a service that includes love, kindness and empathy. Others point and shoot and collect their rent money. 

In the end, in a good client/provider combo, everyone gets what they want. It should be legalized for sure, and should have been for centuries. The world would certainly be a better place for it.

[The Dude]

I don't pay for sex. I pay for them to leave.

[+ PhileasFogg]

1 hour ago, viewing ownly said:

I haven't seen this answer given yet to the OP's question, but it's quite simple : Because there's men who will take my money for it. 

I don’t pay for sex, I pay for time.  My charming personality 👹 and awesome 🍆 are the spark that triggers the possibility of sex.  😉

The platforms noted above offer a lots of skanks (kind of like the Wild West) and they tend to favor youth .   They’re also platforms of opportunity where scheduling time can be planned like an appointment.   

[DMICS]

Let's see...

1. The usual apps are a headache, feels like pulling teeth even trying to connect with an 'around the way' guy

2. Other options like going to social areas, 'frolicking' clubs and cruising are just as bad

3. I often get fetishized and I often feel my kind isn't wanted when engaging in point #2

4. The range of guys I'm into wouldn't give me the time of day online (point #1) or in-person (point #2)

5. So much easier to find someone who visually piqued my interest and I can just pay for their time

IMO the gay "community" is extremely superficial in this social media / Gen-Z era, especially the cities I live in. So I'm at a point in life I rather avoid the inevitable frustration. 

Edited 7 hours ago by DMICS

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

7 hours ago, KevinKeepsItReal said:

I would like for everyone to chime in and share with us why they pay for sex.

Because it's often less expensive than dinner and a movie for two, and way cheaper than getting married then divorced.

Edited 7 hours ago by Vegas_Millennial

[+ Gar1eth]

I didn't want to be gay.  When I finally faced up to the fact at about age 26 or 27 that I was never going to become attracted to women (I'm stubborn and a slow learner), I made a promise to myself that I was never going to act on being gay. I had never done anything with guys up to that point -and the most I had ever done on the few dates with women I had had -in high school (about 2) and after high school (about 5)- was a quick peck on the lips with not even trying to get to any bases. 
 

So there I was at 26 to 27-a total virgin who had never even French kissed anyone (and to be frank-that sounded gross to me-someone sticking their tongue in my mouth or me sticking my tongue in theirs-gross!!). 
 

But over the years it ate at me more and more that I wasn't having sex-even beggars in third world countries were having sex. Even my nephew who was college age-there was a good chance he was having sex. And the older I got-I still didn't want to be gay-but even if I had wanted to act on it-how embarrassing to be a virgin in my 30's. I actually thought there was a good chance I'd die a virgin-not because of being a virgin-just that I'd never be able to bring myself to have sex before I died. 
 

But I used to torture myself by looking at the escort sites like Rentboy, the classified section of Frontiers magazine, the old Escorts 4 You site, Hooboy's Review Site-and others that I've forgotten it was so long ago. I looked at these sites pretty much on a daily basis.  
 

But I continued to be a virgin. Years passed. In my very late or early 40's I lived in Cincinnati for a few years. A reasonably short drive away in Indianapolis was a gay strip club called the Unicorn Club. It was a small place. But after the boys would do their dance, they would come off the stage. The majority of the patrons would be lined up along the back wall and sides. The dancers would start at one end of the line still pretty much undressed except for their shorts. You could touch their shoulders and chests -or even slip your hands 'lower'. Of course for the privilege, you were stuffing dollars down their pants. And the more you gave the longer they stayed with you before moving to the next guy. Of course if you weren't interested in the guy, you didn't have to pay him or only give him a few dollars, so he'd move on to the guy next to you. 
 

Seeing these handsome boys (and most of them were boys-in their early  to mid 20's) I finally decided I had to hire and have sex. By this time I was 41. I was seeing a psychiatrist at the time. I'm pretty sure I had told him I was a virgin. I either told him directly or hinted at it-my recollection is that he gave me tacit approval. But it was 23 years ago. And I can't remember for sure. 
 

So I had my first real sexual experience at the age of 41 with an escort. He was very kind. He even had to teach me how to kiss. 
 

At the time I had a good career and could afford to hire. But I was a fat bald 41 year old guy -and I still didn't want to be gay. And even if I had wanted to be gay, I figured no one would be particularly interested in me, so I continued to hire.  I think the first time I really met up with someone not an escort I was about 47. But I continued to hire until I lost a career and couldn't afford it anymore. 

Edited 6 hours ago by Gar1eth

[+ Jamie21]

5 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

I don’t.

I pay providers for their time. 

Law enforcement is happy. 

[TruHart1]

It’s very simple. I see a man on RentMen who makes my heart beat faster. I then vet the aforementioned escort - by reading their reviews, sending inquiries to a few of the reviewers who describe them as a “life-changing experience,” and finally, asking on this forum if anybody has ever enjoyed this man’s company. If he passes all these tests, I contact him about meating!

Then the best part. I set up an appointment for a certain date and time, we meet for a planned period, and I leave. The great thing is there are no surprises, I don’t have to meet a stranger’s ideas of who I am, or try to impress him. If our chemistry is great and he agrees, he may even become a regular.

I  am lucky enough to continue enjoying a number of regulars as I pursue this wonderful hobby. Additionally, there are quite a number of men I can count as friends whom I first met as escorts. This is why I hire!

TruHart1 😎

[caramelsub]

For me it’s convenience and also safety like someone else mentioned before. For example I was on a grindr hoping to meetup with a guy, and of course exchanging pics. Til he said he prefers smooth butts not hairy ones like I have. Which prompted me to start getting my butt hair lasered. Plus the endless ghosting is a problem on grindr.  Though I am guilty of ghosting other people as well. With the safety aspect, I know with verified reviews and money on the line, I can always just pay them off and leave if something goes wrong, and don’t risk going to a strangers house that could be catfishing or a creep.

[Hen]

10 hours ago, TorontoDrew said:

I hire because it's easy. The apps are a pain.

Also, I like younger, muscular guys and being in my 60s and out of shape, they aren't doing it for free.

Amen Drew!

 

[+ SirBillybob]

8 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

Welcome to the forum @KevinKeepsItReal

I think you're going to do just fine here, but watch out for that one forum grump.........

Edited 3 hours ago by SirBillybob

[Pepper Young]

Because the apps are trash. Bars are dead. Cruising the park has no appeal.

Hiring gets me exactly what I want, when I want, and with who I want. 

[+ SirBillybob]

2 hours ago, TruHart1 said:

It’s very simple. …  If he passes all these tests, I contact him about meating. 

TruHart1 😎

Good knowing I’m not alone in butchering. Good knowing I’m not alone in butchering.  😉

Edited 3 hours ago by SirBillybob

[Peter Eater]

6 hours ago, The Dude said:

I don't pay for sex. I pay for them to leave.

"You don't pay a prostitute for sex, you pay her to leave afterwards."

Dashiell Hammett

[+ Pensant]

I love the variety of young men I’ve met with over the years. I can indulge in all the kinks that my overactive imagination can conjure without fear of judgement. I really love all the aspects of it. I’m also fortunate that I can afford it. And I’m also happy when I bid them adieu and jump into bed! 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

My husband and I fell into hiring while on vacation in Spain. The short version is we went to a guy for sensual massages and the session turned into a full-on sex. We had been mostly monogamous up to that point and it was a revelation. So while still on vacation, we decided to hire an escort explicitly. And we had a great time. 

We're both busy professionals with hobbies, a large friend group, and lots of family nearby. So after returning from Spain, we decided to open up to having sex with other guys together. After a few months of frustration with the apps, we decided to give Rent.men a try. And it was great for all the reasons mentioned above. 

We're both attractive and in shape (though not muscle guys) and can find guys interested in us on the apps. However, there's all the frustration people have mentioned, we also tend to be hit up by guys MUCH younger than us (which isn't our taste), and there's not the return on investment. We can hire and set up a time that works for both of our schedules, vet the candidates to ensure compatibility, and, with a couple of mediocre exceptions, it's been great for us. 

In addition to having fun with new and different guys, it's also invigorated our non-hiring sex life. 

[dbar123]

Time is money. Hiring an escort cuts to the chase at your convenience

[+ SirBillybob]

52 minutes ago, dbar123 said:

Time is money. Hiring an escort cuts to the chase at your convenience

When working in a busy urban location with access to trade, usually hot strippers, offering incall facilities I had the good fortune of often spontaneously stepping out for a ploughman’s lunch for the cost equivalent of about one hour of my own earnings. 

[jcmiami1]

I tried the gay dating apps and it’s an exercise in extreme patience and frustration, time wasted and endless chats that lead to nowhere. Not to mention the endless flakes and crazies out there - I deleted all of them. While hiring is expensive, it’s significantly less frustrating and way easier to find your type guy. 

[Simon Suraci]

2 hours ago, Pepper Young said:

Hiring gets me exactly what I want, when I want, and with who I want. 

Amen. This is the answer, right here.

[viewing ownly]

3 hours ago, SirBillybob said:

Billybob, are you affirming what AZDR is warning the OP of, or are you raising your paw in guilt? 🤣

[muslnicknj]

Because I’m in a relationship that is no longer physical and occasionally feel the urge to get my rocks off (outside of jerking to porn). I justify in my head that if I’m paying for it then it’s not cheating. There’s no drama - I pay the guy for a service and once the session is over I’m satisfied until the next time. 

[+ SirBillybob]

28 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

Billybob, are you affirming what AZDR is warning the OP of, or are you raising your paw in guilt? 🤣

Comprehensively blanket covering of both notions innit. 😉

[NYXboy]

I sometimes desire a fetish that I don't want to have to deal with the apps to get or explain. 

 

But also, sometimes I find it really horny to pay someone for sex.