Provider Requests Additional Fee

[Postiche]

I have seen a particular provider on a number of occasions. Each time, I have been overly generous.  On our last meeting, the provider agreed to a price, which was less than I normally offer. We had a nice evening together.

On the next day, however, I received an email from him requesting an increased fee.  The provider acknowledged that I was his best client but felt that I should have paid a greater fee, which I ended up giving to him to resolve the matter without animosity. I doubt I will see him again.

Thoughts?

 

 

 

Edited June 25 by Postiche

[harlow]

17 minutes ago, Postiche said:

I have seen a particular provider on a number of occasions. Each time, I have been overly generous.  On our last meeting, the provider agreed to a price, which was less than I normally offer. We had a nice evening together.

On the next day, however, I received an email from him requesting an increased fee.  The provider acknowledged that I was his best client but felt that I should have paid a greater fee, which I ended up giving to him to resolve the matter without animosity. I doubt I will see him again.

Thoughts?

 

 

 

Always confirm the price before the action starts.  Even with providers I see on a regular basis I always confirm in a text....for example: "Looking forward to seeing you again.  Is 300 still good like last time?"  At least thats always worked for me and its helped me avoid any confusion. 

[maninsoma]

2 hours ago, Postiche said:

I have seen a particular provider on a number of occasions. Each time, I have been overly generous.  On our last meeting, the provider agreed to a price, which was less than I normally offer. We had a nice evening together.

On the next day, however, I received an email from him requesting an increased fee.  The provider acknowledged that I was his best client but felt that I should have paid a greater fee, which I ended up giving to him to resolve the matter without animosity. I doubt I will see him again.

Thoughts?

 

 

 

Thoughts?  I'm confused.  Reading between the lines, you wrote that you had been "overly generous" before the most recent appointment and then the escort "agreed to a price" for the recent appointment, so I assume you initiated paying him less because you felt his rate (previously established by him) was too high.  If that's the case and the provider definitely understood you intended to pay him less, it was wrong of him to contact you the next day to ask for more money unless something else changed such as he stayed longer than planned.  Was the greater fee the equivalent of what you previously paid to him?  If so and you like the guy, I would suggest at least discussing this with him to find out if there was just a misunderstanding or if he, indeed, just decided after the appointment that he wasn't okay with the lower rate he agreed to.

[soloyo215]

15 hours ago, Postiche said:

I have seen a particular provider on a number of occasions. Each time, I have been overly generous.  On our last meeting, the provider agreed to a price, which was less than I normally offer. We had a nice evening together.

On the next day, however, I received an email from him requesting an increased fee.  The provider acknowledged that I was his best client but felt that I should have paid a greater fee, which I ended up giving to him to resolve the matter without animosity. I doubt I will see him again.

Thoughts?

 

 

 

Hard to tell. Some people seem to think that when one is "generous" that means that it's an invitation for exploitation or to see how far they can go with asking for more. They don't necessarily see it as "generosity". Instead, they look at it as "he's willing to pay this much, so I can ask for more, then".

There's also the possibility that he charged less expecting the "overly generous" thing to kick in, but it seems like it didn't, hence the additional charge.

If he's a provider that you see often, I wonder if you feel comfortable just going directly to the source and asking him. If you like him that much, you can express that you don't want misunderstandings about your generosity to be the reason to stop seeing him. I think that's a reasonable conversation to have.

Edited June 26 by soloyo215

[Whippoorwill]

I tend to see providers on a repeating basis who tend to charge just on the high side per the local market, and expect and  get what I consider top notch service. I do not tip because I feel that results in an expectation. Rather I give nice cash gifts on special occasions-birthdays, holidays, vacation trips, etc. I find this can help establish a get-give parity without tying it to a specific expectation. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

22 hours ago, Postiche said:

On the next day, however, I received an email from him requesting an increased fee...

Thoughts?

My first thought is:  Why are you communicating by email? 🤔 That's rhetorical, as I know each person has his own preferred method of communication.  

My response, if any, would be: "I'll keep that price in mind for our next meeting.". And then it's up to you whether you have a next meeting or not.

[MikeBiDude]

23 hours ago, Postiche said:

On our last meeting, the provider agreed to a price, which was less than I normally offer

OK, he agreed to a price? Not sure why he would email you an increase request the next day, after the meeting? Did he admit to quoting you a wrong price? Or was he just taking advantage of your known generosity?

Unfortunately, these situations make it sticky to continue, as you wisely say yourself:

23 hours ago, Postiche said:

I doubt I will see him again

 

[Luv2play]

23 hours ago, Postiche said:

I have seen a particular provider on a number of occasions. Each time, I have been overly generous.  On our last meeting, the provider agreed to a price, which was less than I normally offer. We had a nice evening together.

On the next day, however, I received an email from him requesting an increased fee.  The provider acknowledged that I was his best client but felt that I should have paid a greater fee, which I ended up giving to him to resolve the matter without animosity. I doubt I will see him again.

Thoughts?

 

 

 

Going up is always easier than going down. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

As I read this, you’ve been giving him a big tip. And then after you confirmed the price for this session, you didn’t give him a big tip. So he wrote you the next day saying he wanted a higher fee? Is that right? 
 

if that’s the case, I don’t think you should have paid the higher fee, especially since his doing so led to you not wanting to see him again. Was it “go away” money?

[SirBillybob]

Surely the flattery of having any service proclaim that one is their best customer should inspire one to be consistently generous to a fault. 

Edited June 27 by SirBillybob

[+ JamesB]

I'm not sure I fully understand the OP's post, but it reminds me of a situation I had with a provider I hired a few times. During our last session, after I handed him an envelope with his usual fee plus a tip, he suddenly told me he needed to raise his rates. I didn’t have an issue with the rate increase until he said it would apply retroactively to the session we had just finished. The strange part? His new rate was actually less than what I had already been paying him with the tip included. So I simply told him that the envelope already covered his new rate.

Needless to say, I never hired him again. A couple of months later, he texted me asking why I hadn’t booked him since. I didn’t bother responding.

[Thelatin]

I recently had this same experience with a provider I've seen 4-5 times.   The time spent had grown to include some food, drinks, chilling out etc.  After the last meeting he requested to be paid for all of that time as well.  That is certainly his prerogative, and I gave him the fee.  It's a bit sad as I think he enjoyed spending time with me, unless it was just an act.  But he's priced himself out of what I'm willing to pay, especially as I have to travel 2 hours, get a rooms etc.  I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do as he will be asking to see me again.  It's going to be uncomfortable going switching from a lose "friendly" sort of transaction, to punching the clock.  I honestly don't think either of would like it.  He did apologize as he was pretty aggressive in the way he asked.  But now I'm just sort of meh.  Asian massage for me this weekend. 

[SirBillybob]

I simply don’t get the paying for basic social interaction playbook. To me it’s being had. I had a regular, stunning stripper, for several years that was accustomed to almost weekly short-time earnings from our meetings. Friendly, not friends. One time I was housesitting a 5-hour drive away and he drove over at his own gas expense upon my invitation for the weekend. We had the usual fun. He made me a gourmet breakfast. He received the same usual compensation amount based on 1-2 hours and we both knew I wasn’t going to repeatedly impose unrealistic expectations. In fact, he was still going to be ahead. My loyalty and consistency was enough reward for him. We didn’t need to insult each other.

That said, I understand the idea of some monetary payment but a modest amount for using up what would be otherwise their free time, especially if it’s frequent. I don’t buy into the notion that you are cutting into their maximally lucrative time. If that is the case, I would prefer to take a pass on the faux socializing. Buying into the idea that you are responsible for squandering their personal hierarchy of needs resources is absurd. 

Edited June 28 by SirBillybob

[Luv2play]

On 6/27/2025 at 10:49 AM, JamesB said:

I'm not sure I fully understand the OP's post, but it reminds me of a situation I had with a provider I hired a few times. During our last session, after I handed him an envelope with his usual fee plus a tip, he suddenly told me he needed to raise his rates. I didn’t have an issue with the rate increase until he said it would apply retroactively to the session we had just finished. The strange part? His new rate was actually less than what I had already been paying him with the tip included. So I simply told him that the envelope already covered his new rate.

Needless to say, I never hired him again. A couple of months later, he texted me asking why I hadn’t booked him since. I didn’t bother responding.

I guess he couldn’t distinguish between the fee and the tip.  The fee is obligatory and the tip is called a gratuity for a reason. Gratuity is based on the French word Gratis or Free in English. 
A gratuity means it is freely given. As you had topped up his fee with a tip that more than covered his new fee, he should have graciously accepted your payment. That would have left him free to raise his basic fee for the next time. 
 

And you could have decided whether he was still worth the extra gratuity. 

[Nightowl]

He took advantage of a loyal client.  I wouldn’t book him again.

[Luv2play]

3 hours ago, SirBillybob said:

I simply don’t get the paying for basic social interaction playbook. To me it’s being had. I had a regular, stunning stripper, for several years that was accustomed to almost weekly short-time earnings from our meetings. Friendly, not friends. One time I was housesitting a 5-hour drive away and he drove over at his own gas expense upon my invitation for the weekend. We had the usual fun. He made me a gourmet breakfast. He received the same usual compensation amount based on 1-2 hours and we both knew I wasn’t going to repeatedly impose unrealistic expectations. In fact, he was still going to be ahead. My loyalty and consistency was enough reward for him. We didn’t need to insult each other.

That said, I understand the idea of some monetary payment but a modest amount for using up what would be otherwise their free time, especially if it’s frequent. I don’t buy into the notion that you are cutting into their maximally lucrative time. If that is the case, I would prefer to take a pass on the faux socializing. Buying into the idea that you are responsible for squandering their personal hierarchy of needs resources is absurd. 

I never would have tried this with a regular provider. A weekend at the usual 1-2 hour rate?? And he paid for his own gas (and time) to get to and from the venue. Which you were house sitting. Not a luxury hotel or resort I assume but maybe a nice place. 
You’re one lucky guy he accepted all that with good grace. 

[SirBillybob]

52 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

I never would have tried this with a regular provider. A weekend at the usual 1-2 hour rate?? And he paid for his own gas (and time) to get to and from the venue. Which you were house sitting. Not a luxury hotel or resort I assume but maybe a nice place. 
You’re one lucky guy he accepted all that with good grace. 

I didn’t have to try anything. I’d have resumed meeting him the following weekend but he made the proposal. A nice enough place and he was far from friendless and family interaction at his location. In fact, I felt obligated to ask the homeowner for their blessing to have company. He isn’t the reason I resist paying for socializing. I just think it’s dumb and manipulative. 

[SirBillybob]

1 hour ago, Luv2play said:

I guess he couldn’t distinguish between the fee and the tip.  The fee is obligatory and the tip is called a gratuity for a reason. Gratuity is based on the French word Gratis or Free in English. 
A gratuity means it is freely given. As you had topped up his fee with a tip that more than covered his new fee, he should have graciously accepted your payment. That would have left him free to raise his basic fee for the next time. 
 

And you could have decided whether he was still worth the extra gratuity. 

If it were this exhausting I’d just use my hand or a fleshlite. 

[Ali Gator]

For about four or five years, I was seeing an escort who lived in my area. He was a grad student from Madrid who was absolutely handsome (he looked very much like John Berman from CNN, just about twenty years younger and a little thinner). His rate was $200 for the hour, and he gave the best head. His personality was odd - sometimes he was extremely friendly, other times a bit distracted (he had a world of problems, starting with his roommate). 

Anyhow, on this particular day in July, 2020, he got a phone call as soon as we entered his bedroom and we were undressing. He told me he had to take this call and apologized. I heard him say to the other person, 'I'll be there in an hour'.  I asked if something was wrong, and he said that was his dog groomer calling to let him know his dog was ready for pick-up so he couldn't do an hour. "But we can still do a 30 minute appointment" if that was OK with me - I agreed. We had a great thirty minutes (he was a great kisser, and a great bottom, too). We were done in 30 minutes, we got dressed and instead of handing him two one-hundred dollar bills as I always did, I handed him one for the half hour.  He asked me where the other half of payment was !   I told him since our appointment was cut in half, I was giving him payment for thirty minutes.  He then had the audacity to tell me he charged $200 for all thirty minute appointments, but because I was a 'regular' and a 'nice guy', he always gave me a free extra half hour. WHAT ?  I told him that was bullshit - from the first appointment I had with him from five years earlier, his rate was $200 / hr. (I was even able to find his original text on my phone and let him see it). He then told me he changed his pricing the year before to $200 / 30 minutes and he was positive he told me (never happened).

I didn't feel like arguing with him further, and I had planned on giving him $200 that day, anyhow. So I handed him the other $200. I could see in his eyes he knew he was wrong and knew he was jeopardizing a really good business relationship.  When I was walking out the door he gave me a peck on the cheek and said, 'Don't be upset, baby...I'll give you 90 minutes the next time'.  I just smiled at him, gave him a kiss, and thinking to myself 'There won't be a next time'.  Once I got into my car, I blocked his number and erased him from my contacts - that was five years ago, and haven't regretted it. (I don't know if he's still escorting or still living in my area - shortly after I first met him, he took down his ad and only worked with a few guys as he was concentrating on getting his Master's).

[SirBillybob]

Master’s as well as the sudden need for a crash course in cheaper DIY dog grooming. 

Edited June 29 by SirBillybob

[Archangel]

@Ali Gator’s post reminds me of the proverb – “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”

The hand that grasps ends up empty, for greed devours itself.