providerquestion Providers with Female Clients - tips on the first meet?

[+ Alabastrine]

Providers who take female clients (SFP, Bi or Straight providers) : are there any small details that female clients can do to make a difference that help you.

I've hammered out my first date, and I can't stop overthinking it, but I'm excited so I suppose that's a positive  I realize it's likely that my provider will not find me attractive and not care either way. But in case any of the below make a difference for providers? Good hygiene is a given, by the way, so that's a "no brainer", I'm just mentally fussing over other silly details. I plan on "going with the flow" but want to put my best foot forward since the business relationship goes both ways. 

Should I dress up or go casual? I actually like to dress up, but won't bother if this isn't something that helps the provider's mood. 

Should I be stylish or attempt to look sexy?

Utilitarian panties/bras or hot lacy ones?

Should I wear makeup or not? (I usually wear a little but I don't plaster my face on)

Jewelry - do you like how it looks or does it just get in the way?

Perfume? Yes or no? If "yes" are there any types providers tend to hate? If I do, I plan to "go light".

High heels. Yay or nay?

Any thoughts out there? Believe it or not I think it's kind of fun to think about these little things.

 

Edited May 26, 2025 by Alabastrine
adding tags

[+ JamesB]

You’re definitely overthinking it but that’s totally okay. When it comes to what to wear, just choose something that makes YOU feel comfortable and in the right mindset for the experience. One tip: skip the jewelry. It often just gets in the way and isn’t worth the risk of losing it. Also, it might help to let your provider know you’re feeling a bit nervous; he'll likely be understanding and supportive.

Go enjoy yourself, you’ve got this!

[ShortCutie7]

Yes, wear whatever is comfortable and easy to quickly take off/put on!  Whatever makes you feel sexy but is also logistically appropriate.  I’m sure you already have, but make sure that the provider knows he will be with a woman so he can prepare accordingly… there’s really nothing you can do in that regard beyond making his expectations as clear as possible.

Re hygiene: one thing that I now know to do if my appointment is not in the morning, is to use mouthwash or brush my teeth right before the appointment (I had a bad experience with a provider once because he “felt sick” after kissing me, and I later found out it was because I hadn’t thought of taking mouthwash with me to or brushing my teeth at work…).

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I've hired and spoken with guys who are bi or pan, and I'm a chronic overthinker. Ultimately, this is about your experience—that's why you're hiring. So, I want you to focus on what makes you feel sexy. Over the years, I've noticed that good providers match the client's energy. If you're going out, you may want to ask the provider to match what you want to wear. You don't want to be in a cocktail dress and the provider is in sweatpants. However, if you're staying in, you may want to wear lingerie. If makeup, heels and a little perfume make you feel sexy, put them on. I have an ass that most providers love. It's big, round, and has some jiggle over the muscle. So even if we're staying in, my underclothes will be a jock, or lace or something that makes me feel sexy. I might have sweatpants on over it. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

As a bi-sexual male:

- you are overthinking it, but that's not unexpected

- be comfortable first and foremost

- a little make-up is nice, but don't try too hard to be something you're not.

- if you're concerned about being found attractive or not, you should hear the stories from some of the providers about the clients they've seen.   Be clean, be confident, and you'll be just fine.

- on hygiene, remember, as a woman, it's not just about "above the shoulders" nor is it just about "shaved" or not.   If it's been a while, consider the obvious area it seems you may want a guy to focus on  if he's exploring below the equator.   It's a little awkward when things smell jungle-like before the equator and many women aren't aware of it.

- it's not a fashion show...you both may want to put clothes on the floor as soon as possible.  consider no underwear - or at least no panties

[+ Alabastrine]

1 hour ago, JamesB said:

One tip: skip the jewelry. It often just gets in the way and isn’t worth the risk of losing it. Also, it might help to let your provider know you’re feeling a bit nervous; he'll likely be understanding and supportive.

Go enjoy yourself, you’ve got this!

Thanks, I was on the fence on the jewelry thinking it might get in the way. I'm not so much worried about losing the jewelry, I just feel a little more confident when my outfit is put together and sometimes jewelry is a nice finishing touch that adds a little bit of polish. 

[+ Alabastrine]

1 hour ago, ShortCutie7 said:

Yes, wear whatever is comfortable and easy to quickly take off/put on!  Whatever makes you feel sexy but is also logistically appropriate.  I’m sure you already have, but make sure that the provider knows he will be with a woman so he can prepare accordingly… there’s really nothing you can do in that regard beyond making his expectations as clear as possible.

Yeah the easy on/off does narrow down the wardrobe choices  On the gender transparency issues, I always let them know upfront and attempt to clarify whether or not they accept female clients before asking any further questions. So far it looks like it's 50-50; some do, some don't. Although one provider did get a touch sarcastic, it hasn't been a big deal. 

25 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I've hired and spoken with guys who are bi or pan, and I'm a chronic overthinker. Ultimately, this is about your experience—that's why you're hiring. So, I want you to focus on what makes you feel sexy. Over the years, I've noticed that good providers match the client's energy. If you're going out, you may want to ask the provider to match what you want to wear. You don't want to be in a cocktail dress and the provider is in sweatpants. However, if you're staying in, you may want to wear lingerie. If makeup, heels and a little perfume make you feel sexy, put them on. I have an ass that most providers love. It's big, round, and has some jiggle over the muscle. So even if we're staying in, my underclothes will be a jock, or lace or something that makes me feel sexy. I might have sweatpants on over it. 

Thank you! we may go out but it would be a more casual venue - I hadn't thought of that so thank you for pointing out out, that does help me narrow down what to wear, I'm thinking I might still do some lingerie underneath. 

14 minutes ago, PhileasFogg said:

As a bi-sexual male:

- you are overthinking it, but that's not unexpected

- be comfortable first and foremost

- a little make-up is nice, but don't try too hard to be something you're not.

- if you're concerned about being found attractive or not, you should hear the stories from some of the providers about the clients they've seen.   Be clean, be confident, and you'll be just fine.

- on hygiene, remember, as a woman, it's not just about "above the shoulders" nor is it just about "shaved" or not.   If it's been a while, consider the obvious area it seems you may want a guy to focus on  if he's exploring below the equator.   It's a little awkward when things smell jungle-like before the equator and many women aren't aware of it.

- it's not a fashion show...you both may want to put clothes on the floor as soon as possible.  consider no underwear - or at least no panties

yes indeed!!!! that was the hygiene part I mentioned.. I'm well aware the jungle can be an unpleasant place and I have a rigorous daily bathing ritual; but even if you start the day clean "down there", it can go rank pretty quickly - sweat + snail trail + time = no beuno. I don't allow close encounters unless I'm fresh out of the shower, which I'll be requesting as the part of the opening festivities. 

On the attractiveness part, I understand that providers have a lot of interesting stories. I'm not bad, but not perfect so in the odd chance he does find me somewhat attractive I want to enhance what good features I do have. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

2 hours ago, Alabastrine said:

 I'm not bad, but not perfect so in the odd chance he does find me somewhat attractive I want to enhance what good features I do have. 

A sentiment many of us - being honest - would share 😉

you’re going to be

F I N E

[ShortCutie7]

3 hours ago, Alabastrine said:

On the attractiveness part, I understand that providers have a lot of interesting stories. I'm not bad, but not perfect so in the odd chance he does find me somewhat attractive I want to enhance what good features I do have. 

It has only happened to me once that I could tell a provider was not remotely attracted to me (not the same guy/situation I mentioned earlier).  In my case, I was eventually able to figure out that the reason was one entirely out of my control.

[BrooklynIrish]

3 hours ago, Alabastrine said:

On the attractiveness part, I understand that providers have a lot of interesting stories. I'm not bad, but not perfect so in the odd chance he does find me somewhat attractive I want to enhance what good features I do have. 

The best providers are able to tune into something they find appealing about their clients and connect with them. It may be a physical attribute (pretty face, nice smile, great ass) or a personality trait (kindness, humor, it factor). 

At the risk of sounding immodest, I have a good face, a great ass and I’m really funny. I’m also quite skilled in bed. Most guys connect into one of those assets and build from there. 

I also find more experienced providers are generally better at making this connection. 

[+ purplekow]

If you are planning a shower to start things off, it seems as though the lingerie will be coming off and not coming back on until you leave.  So I would not overly fuss with that.  I must admit as a bi man, lingerie does nothing for me except make me chuckle. I do feel obliged to offer a comment as to how sexy it looks, but in reality, it is just to appreciate the effort 

I do like a woman who dresses seductively without going overboard\, but if the goal is to get the clothes off, if he is doing the removing, make sure it is easy to get them off. Nothing is more of a mood slower than not being able to figure out how to get the clothes off or having the woman have to explain that there is a hidden snap.  For me, I would be fine with justan overcoat and a pair of stilettos and then drop the coat on the floor by the door.  

The one thing I wholehearted suggest is that you take a deep breath at the door.  Let you body relax and calm your thoughts.  No matter how you mapped out the encounter in your mind, it is going to be different than that and you need to go with the flow.  Speaking of flow, that is a definite no.  

[Rudynate]

On 5/26/2025 at 1:33 PM, Alabastrine said:

Providers who take female clients (SFP, Bi or Straight providers) : are there any small details that female clients can do to make a difference that help you.

I've hammered out my first date, and I can't stop overthinking it, but I'm excited so I suppose that's a positive  I realize it's likely that my provider will not find me attractive and not care either way. But in case any of the below make a difference for providers? Good hygiene is a given, by the way, so that's a "no brainer", I'm just mentally fussing over other silly details. I plan on "going with the flow" but want to put my best foot forward since the business relationship goes both ways. 

Should I dress up or go casual? I actually like to dress up, but won't bother if this isn't something that helps the provider's mood. 

Should I be stylish or attempt to look sexy?

Utilitarian panties/bras or hot lacy ones?

Should I wear makeup or not? (I usually wear a little but I don't plaster my face on)

Jewelry - do you like how it looks or does it just get in the way?

Perfume? Yes or no? If "yes" are there any types providers tend to hate? If I do, I plan to "go light".

High heels. Yay or nay?

Any thoughts out there? Believe it or not I think it's kind of fun to think about these little things.

 

Youre going out an a date?  Dress however you always dress on a date and be mindful of what's appropriate for the venue.  You should wear whatever makeup you like.

[+ Alabastrine]

Thanks all. I ended up going casual. I realized I was fussing too much, and considered the general vibe from the responses here: the provider probably didn't give a shit as long as i was clean, groomed, reasonably polite and paid up... So the other details were just complicating things for me and I was driving myself insane. First meet went really well even though I was one notch below "certifiably insane" on the nervousness scale. With that proverbial cherry popped (figuratively), it's all smooth sailing now. 

Edited August 12, 2025 by Alabastrine