Improved Performance over time

[nrcssst hntr]

Does anyone else have an issue with providers getting worse the more times you see them? I don't particularly like hunting for what I want so when I find someone that's great I generally rebook. I see a noticeable pattern with providers who will become less professional, phone it in, careless, irresponsible, boundary pushing, aggressive, greedy, you name it. Sometimes I'll have a great experience and then they'll want to include a significant other and then that can ruin the experience. Aside from one (linked below) this is the case for me. Any recommendations about what I could do differently or anyone that DOESN'T seem to get worse over time?

Rick_experience - Male Massage & Bodywork in Boston, MA | RentMasseur

RENTMASSEUR.COM

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Gay Masseur Rick_experience in Boston, MA offering a wide range of massages ⭐ experienced in therapeutic, sensual, swedish, hotStone, deepTissue.

 

[+ DrownedBoy]

 

Totally agree.

I've seen this as a common problem with younger escorts. My past reasons for "firing" a regular include increasingly disrespectful behavior, chronic tardiness, a refusal to perform services they did in the past, and outright personality disorders they could no longer control (brought on by drug use).

There's only one regular I've kept almost a decade. He locked in his rate then (although I tip), and actually refined his technique, developing (ahem BDSM) skills beyond others I met, hired or otherwise. And he brings younger amateur guys with him if asked, at wholesale. He gets extremely regular business with me and a Christmas bonus 😄

It's a rarity to find honest, mature professionals who are intelligent enough to see the long term advantages of playing nice. Every other regular I had followed the negative pattern I described.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I haven't actually experienced this. I've had regulars who have had an off day, but usually they have a reason. 

[soloyo215]

Other than letting them know as soon as they start slipping into that pattern, I don' think that there's much else to do. It's their behavior and business. They should not be taking their customers for granted that way.

DrownedBoy brought good points about certain behaviors being the result of getting too comfortable (I'm paraphrasing and interpreting) and being inexperienced.

In the past I have ended relationships with providers because their behavior have changed, and not for the better. I have let them know that I do have expectations every time. Drug use and mental health can impact the work that they do.

 

[+ JamesB]

I’ve noticed this is often the case with many new providers these days. It’s like once you’ve hired them a few times, they no longer feel the need to put in any effort to keep you as a regular client. The most frustrating part is that when you stop using their services, they get upset and act like it’s your fault.

[+ Alabastrine]

Does it help to not get too "friendly" with them? Or maintain a colder air of business in communication (outside of the boudoir, but not while in the sheets, of course).

[nrcssst hntr]

4 hours ago, JamesB said:

I’ve noticed this is often the case with many new providers these days. It’s like once you’ve hired them a few times, they no longer feel the need to put in any effort to keep you as a regular client. The most frustrating part is that when you stop using their services, they get upset and act like it’s your fault.

This might be one of my biggest frustrations I've been dealing with lately. 

[nrcssst hntr]

Thanks for the feedback. I was mainly referencing massage therapists, but it seems like this is an issue with escorts as well.

[Nightowl]

I’ve noticed this with one of my favorite providers and, while he still gives me a great erotic massage experience, he no longer does some of the things we did when I first started going to him.  Letting me stimulate him until he cums no longer happens and there’s not as much anal play.  I miss those things and have told him so but to no avail.  I’m not sure why it has changed but I don’t think he’s being inattentive or phoning it in. It could be that after a dozen or so visits, I’m not as exciting.  On the up side, when I first hired him, the experience was 60% therapeutic massage and 40% erotic. Now it’s about 40% therapeutic and 60% erotic, just without a few of the nice touches I had earlier.

[NJF]

I must be lucky. My new regular actually asked me how he can do better for the next time. He is in his mid 20’s.

[jmichaeliii]

33 minutes ago, NJF said:

I must be lucky. My new regular actually asked me how he can do better for the next time. He is in his mid 20’s.

I had the same thing happen recently.  It was not a bad experience but not close to the level of my regulars.  He texted me and came right out and said he didn't think I would hire him again as he didn't think we had a as good a time as he would have liked.

What was ironic is I was a bit frustrated with communication before the session as everything was one or two words and terse.  When I met him in person he was really nice and very sociable and the tone of his texts were totally different after.  I told him that and he said he was sorry and insists he will blow my socks off if I give him another try.  So we will see if that is the case this week.

On the topic of regulars, mine just get better over time, definitely not worse.  I have 3 I have been seeing for a couple years now.

[marylander1940]

10 hours ago, nrcssst hntr said:

Does anyone else have an issue with providers getting worse the more times you see them? I don't particularly like hunting for what I want so when I find someone that's great I generally rebook. I see a noticeable pattern with providers who will become less professional, phone it in, careless, irresponsible, boundary pushing, aggressive, greedy, you name it. Sometimes I'll have a great experience and then they'll want to include a significant other and then that can ruin the experience. Aside from one (linked below) this is the case for me. Any recommendations about what I could do differently or anyone that DOESN'T seem to get worse over time?

Rick_experience - Male Massage & Bodywork in Boston, MA | RentMasseur

RENTMASSEUR.COM

---

Gay Masseur Rick_experience in Boston, MA offering a wide range of massages ⭐ experienced in therapeutic, sensual, swedish, hotStone, deepTissue.

 

Unfortunately, it's the lifestyle and some simply take it for granted a steady income by regulars instead of keeping their work ethic.

In some cases, is associated to PNP.

[mike carey]

I've noticed this a couple of times, but I'm not sure whether it was anything the escort did. It may have been that we had settled into a routine so although the experience hadn't objectively changed, it could have been more that it lacked the element of the new. I've had a couple of discussions recently with new (to me) escorts whom I'd like to see, and the level of engagement by text is promising. One of them, I know hopes to have regular clients, and the other hasn't given any indication in that respect, but I suspect would, but in both cases, our respective circumstances mean that regular is possible, but frequent is less so. Of the first two I mentioned, I no longer see one of them, but haven't stopped seeing the other.

[jeezifonly]

A new customer of any small business will find the owner going out of their way to please by offering the most detailed and thorough service.

At first. 

[+ ApexNomad]

6 hours ago, NJF said:

I must be lucky. My new regular actually asked me how he can do better for the next time. He is in his mid 20’s.

Yes. You’re lucky. Keep him.

[Aaron 90]

I have also noticed this. The provider might not put as much effort trying to impress you or the thrill of the new experience is gone. Thinking of new ideas during the session is always worth trying.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

Some get "worse", most get "better", others stay the same.  But, our needs change as time rolls on as well. 

In the case of a massuer, I night originally hire a guy who does wonders working out knots in my shoulders.  After months of visits, he has worked out all the knots and therefore the massage no longer feels as amazing as it did the first few times.  That's caused by my perception, not his performance.

[pubic_assistance]

On 5/24/2025 at 7:18 AM, nrcssst hntr said:

Any recommendations about what I could do differently or anyone that DOESN'T seem to get worse over time?

In MY experience, most gay men are obsessed with the NEW.

I've even had hook ups where my partner told me "that was the hottest sex, Ive ever had" but simultaneously had NO interest in meeting up again.🤔

Perhaps a bissexual provider is more in-tune with keeping the magic happening.

[marylander1940]

17 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

In MY experience, most gay men are obsessed with the NEW.

I've even had hook ups where my partner told me "that was the hottest sex, Ive ever had" but simultaneously had NO interest in meeting up again.🤔

Perhaps a bissexual provider is more in-tune with keeping the magic happening.

How do you know he's truly bisexual and not just pretending in order to get more gay men interested in him?

Maybe a truly bisexual guy would behave differently with men and women, whether it is for money or free sex.

Some guys call themselves straight thinking they can attract more gay men

[MuscleDaddyRWC]

I was hiring one massage guy for a couple years and we went from  massage with happy ending to adding almost full blown sex (no anal). 

Then I saw he added a 4 hand massage and that mutual touch was okay and encouraged.  So I booked a session and there was no mutual touch (they didn't even take their shorts off) and the massage was lackluster.  I assume the other guy signaled somehow he wasn't interested in doing other stuff with me. 

I didn't express my disappointment after but maybe should have.

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

How do you know he's truly bisexual and not just pretending in order to get more gay men interested in him?

Maybe a truly bisexual guy would behave differently with men and women, whether it is for money or free sex.

You wouldn't know until you meet them.

There's definitley a difference between the way most bisexual men approach their sex life than that of men who are long-term active members of the gay community.  Just look at Grindr. Nobody even bothers to share a name, know anything about you or ever see you again after you share a load of semen inside each other. I am not saying there's anything wrong with this kind of behavior ..I've certainly indulged in it myself...but..I DO notice that many gay men have ZERO interest in socializing within their ring of sexual conquests. While anyone whos truly bisexual, knows that this kind of quick-hook-up is virtually unobtainable with women, (outside the world of escorts). So we (in MY opinion) tend to normalize socializing and sex as going hand-in-hand, while many gay men normalize ANONYMOUS sex as the gold standard.

Edited May 25 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[jmichaeliii]

30 minutes ago, MuscleDaddyRWC said:

I was hiring one massage guy for a couple years and we went from  massage with happy ending to adding almost full blown sex (no anal). 

Then I saw he added a 4 hand massage and that mutual touch was okay and encouraged.  So I booked a session and there was no mutual touch (they didn't even take their shorts off) and the massage was lackluster.  I assume the other guy signaled somehow he wasn't interested in doing other stuff with me. 

I didn't express my disappointment after but maybe should have.

This sounds so familiar.  Are you from the Philly area?

[+ purplekow]

I agree with pubic_assistance in that as a bisexual man, my approach to men and women is different.  The difference is stark.  As a younger man, women needed to be seduced while it was often the women that was surreptitiously doing the seducing.  The expectation of that female seduction usually was not a quick fuck.  If that is what a woman wanted, especially younger women, all that was needed for that was a willingness to do it.  So in dealing with women, it was mostly a slower process and with an expectation that it was not going to be a one time thing/. Sometimes it was intentionally a one time thing but that remained unspoken.  

When I was 35, I decided that after years of refusing set ups, I would go on blind dates.  I then told all my friends and acquaintances thjat I wsa willing to go on blind dates.  In a two month period, I have 25 to 30 blind dates.  I was a single, relatively good looking, reasonably fit doctor willing to go on blind dates.  This is in the pre computer age.  I wound up having sex with about 8 of those women. but only one on the first date.  Granted as a fix up, these women did not necessarily want to risk having it known by their fixer upper that they were willing to have sex on the first date.    But the standard was at least one and usually two dates before sex.  

With men however, it seems that if you do not have sex at the first opportunity, they are moving onto to the next guy.  The standard seems to be that sex is expected.  As a result, everything is more upfront.  Most men I have met are of the opinion that any sex is better than no sex.  I have rarely found women who felt that way, though these days older ladies are much more willing.  The problem is, that sex is only one thing with the women and with men, usually, it is the only thing, 

 

 

Edited May 25 by purplekow

[marylander1940]

I don't think in this subject matters if the provider is gay, bisexual or gay for pay. It's all about how much he cares to give a good and fulfilling experience including cuddling at the end. That might have more to do with how comfortable he is interacting with clients or how fast he wants to put distance with them. 

Also..... iPhone? That has more to do with how young he is. 

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

It's all about how much he cares to give a good and fulfilling experience including cuddling at the end.

What I am saying, is that for some (large) percentage of gay men, they dont consider "cuddling" or ANY interaction outside of the sex-act itself to be even remotely desirable.

So when people talk about the aloofness of providers after sex, it occurs to me that many of these guys arent even aware that friendly conversation after sex is even a thing.