What’s mutual touch to you?

[yessiree48]

So I’m thinking of getting a massage this week for the first time and the provider (a well-reviewed and favorite on here) offers mutual touch.  As someone into muscle worship, I love a well-built guy and want to make sure I won’t be overbearing.  Any tips on how much I can let my hands wander?  Thanks y’all

[Pd1_jap]

Depends on the provider but in my experience mutual touch means you can touch him anywhere except inside his ass. 😈

Edited April 23 by Pd1_jap
Grammar

[Trick]

On 4/22/2025 at 8:36 PM, Pd1_jap said:

Depends on the provider but in my experience mutual touch means you can touch him anywhere except inside his ass. 😈

Can I touch him with my tongue?

[Pd1_jap]

49 minutes ago, Trick said:

Can I touch him with my tongue?

Depends on the provider but I've ended up with a cock down my throat multiple times in such scenarios.

[BuffaloKyle]

I think the phrase mutual touch is used basically as well to signify that any touching going on is consensual and agreed on by both parties. The same sort of deal as when escorts will say you are hiring me for my time only and anything that goes on is agreed on by two consenting adults.

[+ Jamie21]

If you go too far he will signal that to you, perhaps by moving your hand or by moving himself away from your hands. When I give massages I welcome clients touching me back, it’s great feedback. But sometimes they go too far too fast. If he’s touching me too much I might move towards his feet or out of reach so that I can slow things down a little. Touch as much as you like but be prepared for him to take charge on how much of it you can do. 

[Nightowl]

I take mutual touch to mean that he will be naked and we are both free to let our hands wander anywhere on the other’s body, including stroking of genitalia.  I don’t assume that it includes any oral, penetration, rimming or other more intimate activities. Those may happen but they’re not a given.

[CuriousByNature]

This is pretty much the extent of mutual touch I've experienced from anyone, anywhere... 😆

[italianboyph]

It could mean different things for different people and what they talk about/agree on. Mutual touch is usually giving the okay explore others body. Now if he okays for more that’s another thing.

[+ Letmeworshipit]

The whole issue of mutual touch is confusing to me. To be honest, I love to be teased by the package during the session and do what I do best at the end as a happy ending for the provider. And often it works out that way, but I sure would love to know the best way to make my desires clear from the get-go.

[DunwoodyGuy]

Over many years, I've developed a sensitivity to allowing mutual touch to be, well, mutual. In other words, I try not to get grabby right off the bat, and allow myself to relax and let the masseur do what it is he does well. If I've chosen someone who has a good reputation and I like the way he describes his massage and I like his reviews and any communication with him, I'm intrigued to experience what HE does. I always try to choose someone who can combine therapeutic techniques with sensual and erotic touch. I try not to choose someone who is therapeutic only--OR someone who has no therapeutic skills at all and is using the massage as a means of finding escort clients. No offense to escorts--some of my best friends are or have been escorts. But I'm looking for guys who have developed their individual ways of combining massage with sensuality and eroticism.

So here's what I do--and what I DON'T do: I generally try NOT to grab and pull or interfere with his rhythm and technique. As he massages my back, I let my arms hang down the sides of the table, but I hold off touching his leg until he's done serious back and shoulder work. I just breathe into his touch. That creates a physical connection between us that is entirely in his control. It establishes that I respect him as a practitioner. And he of course can begin to "read" my body without his touch being overtly sexually charged. Once that mutual trust and respect has been established and he can see that he's got me moaning and groaning a little bit, I let my hand touch his leg. I might give it a little squeeze, but I definitely do NOT grab it--I still want HIM to be in control of where on my body he's touching me and how the massage progresses from therapeutic to to sensual. Relinquishing that kind of control is part of why I'm there. I try not to break the spell he is casting over me. I also try not touch his dick until he moves it near my hand. But once he does, I touch it and maybe hold it--but again, it's touching WITHOUT grabbing or breaking the mood. At this point he's probably massaging the inside of my thigh, maybe between my cheeks, maybe sliding his hand beneath my hips, maybe touching my balls and cock. If at that point he presses his crotch near my head, I might break the spell a little, raise my head and suck him--but just for a bit, again being careful NOT to signal that you want the massage to be over and all you want to do is cum and leave. Remember--he's not a trick and he's not just an escort--he's an erotic masseur. He's also a human being with a lot of joys and sorrows. And he's had experiences you can't even imagine. It's like a dance--but you have to let him lead. He can probably teach you a helluva lot about connecting physically, sensually, and erotically with another man. Whether it progresses further is up to the two of you. As they like to say on this board, your mileage may vary.  But if you travel far...tip accordingly.

All that to say that my advice is: Don't try to control it. Choose well. And allow yourself to let it happen. 

 

Edited April 30 by DunwoodyGuy

[pubic_assistance]

44 minutes ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

 It's like a dance--but you have to let him lead. He can probably teach you a helluva lot about connecting physically, sensually, and erotically with another man.

Bisexual men understand this dance. I was always taught to be a gentlemen with the ladies and never push myself on them. Same goes for erotic massage. Make your desire known but allow your provider to make the moves.

[AtticusBK]

MT is when he rubs his hard cock against mine. Just kidding — ish 🤣

I actually agree pretty much entirely w @DunwoodyGuy

Edited April 29 by AtticusBK

[+ Jamie21]

10 hours ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

Over many years, I've developed a sensitivity to allowing mutual touch to be, well, mutual. In other words, I try not to get grabby right off the bat, and allow myself to relax and let the masseur do what it is he does well. If I've chosen someone who has a good reputation and I like the way he describes his massage and I like his reviews and any communication with him, I'm intrigued to experience what HE does. I always try to choose someone who can combine therapeutic techniques with sensual and erotic touch. I try not to choose someone who is therapeutic only--OR someone who has no therapeutic skills at all and is using the massage as a means of finding escort clients. No offense to escorts--some of my best friends are or have been escorts. But I'm looking for guys who have developed their individual ways of combining massage with sensuality and eroticism.

So here's what I do--and what I DON'T do: I generally try NOT to grab and pull or interfere with his rhythm and technique. As he massages my back, I let my arms hang down the sides of the table, but I hold off touching his leg until he's done serious back and shoulder work. I just breathe into his touch. That creates a physical connection between us that is entirely in his control. It establishes that I respect him as a practitioner. And he of course can begin to "read" my body without his touch being overtly sexually charged. Once that mutual trust and respect has been established and he can see that he's got me moaning and groaning a little bit, I let my hand touch his leg. I might give it a little squeeze, but I definitely do NOT grab it--I still want HIM to be in control of where on my body he's touching me and how the massage progresses from therapeutic to to sensual. Relinquishing that kind of control is part of why I'm there. I try not to break the spell he is casting over me. I also try not touch his dick until he moves it near my hand. But once he does, I touch it and maybe hold it--but again, it's touching WITHOUT grabbing or breaking the mood. At this point he's probably massaging the inside of my thigh, maybe between my cheeks, maybe sliding his hand beneath my hips, maybe touching my balls and cock. If at that point he presses his crotch near my head, I might break the spell a little, raise my head and suck him--but just for a bit, again being careful NOT to signal that you want the massage to be over and all you want to do is cum and leave. Remember--he's not a trick and he's not just an escort--he's an erotic masseur. He's also a human being with a lot of joys and sorrows. And he's had experiences you can't even imagine. It's like a dance--but you have to let him lead. He can probably teach you a helluva lot about connecting physically, sensually, and erotically with another man. Whether it progresses further is up to the two of you. As they like to say on this board, your mileage my vary.  But if you travel far...tip accordingly.

All that to say that my advice is: Don't try to control it. Choose well. And allow yourself to let it happen. 

 

Wow, you truly understand it. This is exactly how I try to work. That’s the answer. 
 

[Storm4U]

Mutual touch for me meant they could touch me all over. They just couldn't finger me.......unless I was very attracted to them.

[soloyo215]

On 4/22/2025 at 8:04 PM, yessiree48 said:

So I’m thinking of getting a massage this week for the first time and the provider (a well-reviewed and favorite on here) offers mutual touch.  As someone into muscle worship, I love a well-built guy and want to make sure I won’t be overbearing.  Any tips on how much I can let my hands wander?  Thanks y’all

In a massage setting, there isn't a specific rule on how to go about touching. I just reach out and try. I've had various degrees of success with that approach. However, if the mutual touch is the primary reason for it, then I suggest to just ask for it during the booking process. Nothing wrong with respectfully inquiring about it.

[Act25]

If mutual touch has not been explicit in arranging the massage I ask before touching them.  I've never had anyone say no.  I like start by lightly stroking their legs when they are within reach and go from there.  It also helps me to finish if I can fondle cock during a happy ending.  

Some providers, even though they advertise mutual touch, always seem to be positioned in a way that you'd need Orangutan arms to actually touch the fun bits. 

On the other hand, early on in my hiring history, I hired someone who thought I wasn't touching enough and he picked up my hand and placed it on his leg; later in the massage he moved his cock into my hand. 

[Simon Suraci]

On 4/29/2025 at 2:18 PM, DunwoodyGuy said:

Over many years, I've developed a sensitivity to allowing mutual touch to be, well, mutual. In other words, I try not to get grabby right off the bat, and allow myself to relax and let the masseur do what it is he does well. If I've chosen someone who has a good reputation and I like the way he describes his massage and I like his reviews and any communication with him, I'm intrigued to experience what HE does. I always try to choose someone who can combine therapeutic techniques with sensual and erotic touch. I try not to choose someone who is therapeutic only--OR someone who has no therapeutic skills at all and is using the massage as a means of finding escort clients. No offense to escorts--some of my best friends are or have been escorts. But I'm looking for guys who have developed their individual ways of combining massage with sensuality and eroticism.

So here's what I do--and what I DON'T do: I generally try NOT to grab and pull or interfere with his rhythm and technique. As he massages my back, I let my arms hang down the sides of the table, but I hold off touching his leg until he's done serious back and shoulder work. I just breathe into his touch. That creates a physical connection between us that is entirely in his control. It establishes that I respect him as a practitioner. And he of course can begin to "read" my body without his touch being overtly sexually charged. Once that mutual trust and respect has been established and he can see that he's got me moaning and groaning a little bit, I let my hand touch his leg. I might give it a little squeeze, but I definitely do NOT grab it--I still want HIM to be in control of where on my body he's touching me and how the massage progresses from therapeutic to to sensual. Relinquishing that kind of control is part of why I'm there. I try not to break the spell he is casting over me. I also try not touch his dick until he moves it near my hand. But once he does, I touch it and maybe hold it--but again, it's touching WITHOUT grabbing or breaking the mood. At this point he's probably massaging the inside of my thigh, maybe between my cheeks, maybe sliding his hand beneath my hips, maybe touching my balls and cock. If at that point he presses his crotch near my head, I might break the spell a little, raise my head and suck him--but just for a bit, again being careful NOT to signal that you want the massage to be over and all you want to do is cum and leave. Remember--he's not a trick and he's not just an escort--he's an erotic masseur. He's also a human being with a lot of joys and sorrows. And he's had experiences you can't even imagine. It's like a dance--but you have to let him lead. He can probably teach you a helluva lot about connecting physically, sensually, and erotically with another man. Whether it progresses further is up to the two of you. As they like to say on this board, your mileage may vary.  But if you travel far...tip accordingly.

All that to say that my advice is: Don't try to control it. Choose well. And allow yourself to let it happen. 

 

^This is THE solution, right here. Mic drop.

Well done @DunwoodyGuy

[Shawn Monroe]

On 4/29/2025 at 4:18 PM, DunwoodyGuy said:

Over many years, I've developed a sensitivity to allowing mutual touch to be, well, mutual. In other words, I try not to get grabby right off the bat, and allow myself to relax and let the masseur do what it is he does well. If I've chosen someone who has a good reputation and I like the way he describes his massage and I like his reviews and any communication with him, I'm intrigued to experience what HE does. I always try to choose someone who can combine therapeutic techniques with sensual and erotic touch. I try not to choose someone who is therapeutic only--OR someone who has no therapeutic skills at all and is using the massage as a means of finding escort clients. No offense to escorts--some of my best friends are or have been escorts. But I'm looking for guys who have developed their individual ways of combining massage with sensuality and eroticism.

So here's what I do--and what I DON'T do: I generally try NOT to grab and pull or interfere with his rhythm and technique. As he massages my back, I let my arms hang down the sides of the table, but I hold off touching his leg until he's done serious back and shoulder work. I just breathe into his touch. That creates a physical connection between us that is entirely in his control. It establishes that I respect him as a practitioner. And he of course can begin to "read" my body without his touch being overtly sexually charged. Once that mutual trust and respect has been established and he can see that he's got me moaning and groaning a little bit, I let my hand touch his leg. I might give it a little squeeze, but I definitely do NOT grab it--I still want HIM to be in control of where on my body he's touching me and how the massage progresses from therapeutic to to sensual. Relinquishing that kind of control is part of why I'm there. I try not to break the spell he is casting over me. I also try not touch his dick until he moves it near my hand. But once he does, I touch it and maybe hold it--but again, it's touching WITHOUT grabbing or breaking the mood. At this point he's probably massaging the inside of my thigh, maybe between my cheeks, maybe sliding his hand beneath my hips, maybe touching my balls and cock. If at that point he presses his crotch near my head, I might break the spell a little, raise my head and suck him--but just for a bit, again being careful NOT to signal that you want the massage to be over and all you want to do is cum and leave. Remember--he's not a trick and he's not just an escort--he's an erotic masseur. He's also a human being with a lot of joys and sorrows. And he's had experiences you can't even imagine. It's like a dance--but you have to let him lead. He can probably teach you a helluva lot about connecting physically, sensually, and erotically with another man. Whether it progresses further is up to the two of you. As they like to say on this board, your mileage may vary.  But if you travel far...tip accordingly.

All that to say that my advice is: Don't try to control it. Choose well. And allow yourself to let it happen. 

 

This is the answer 😍

[BrklynNYC]

On 4/29/2025 at 4:18 PM, DunwoodyGuy said:

Over many years, I've developed a sensitivity to allowing mutual touch to be, well, mutual. In other words, I try not to get grabby right off the bat, and allow myself to relax and let the masseur do what it is he does well. If I've chosen someone who has a good reputation and I like the way he describes his massage and I like his reviews and any communication with him, I'm intrigued to experience what HE does. I always try to choose someone who can combine therapeutic techniques with sensual and erotic touch. I try not to choose someone who is therapeutic only--OR someone who has no therapeutic skills at all and is using the massage as a means of finding escort clients. No offense to escorts--some of my best friends are or have been escorts. But I'm looking for guys who have developed their individual ways of combining massage with sensuality and eroticism.

So here's what I do--and what I DON'T do: I generally try NOT to grab and pull or interfere with his rhythm and technique. As he massages my back, I let my arms hang down the sides of the table, but I hold off touching his leg until he's done serious back and shoulder work. I just breathe into his touch. That creates a physical connection between us that is entirely in his control. It establishes that I respect him as a practitioner. And he of course can begin to "read" my body without his touch being overtly sexually charged. Once that mutual trust and respect has been established and he can see that he's got me moaning and groaning a little bit, I let my hand touch his leg. I might give it a little squeeze, but I definitely do NOT grab it--I still want HIM to be in control of where on my body he's touching me and how the massage progresses from therapeutic to to sensual. Relinquishing that kind of control is part of why I'm there. I try not to break the spell he is casting over me. I also try not touch his dick until he moves it near my hand. But once he does, I touch it and maybe hold it--but again, it's touching WITHOUT grabbing or breaking the mood. At this point he's probably massaging the inside of my thigh, maybe between my cheeks, maybe sliding his hand beneath my hips, maybe touching my balls and cock. If at that point he presses his crotch near my head, I might break the spell a little, raise my head and suck him--but just for a bit, again being careful NOT to signal that you want the massage to be over and all you want to do is cum and leave. Remember--he's not a trick and he's not just an escort--he's an erotic masseur. He's also a human being with a lot of joys and sorrows. And he's had experiences you can't even imagine. It's like a dance--but you have to let him lead. He can probably teach you a helluva lot about connecting physically, sensually, and erotically with another man. Whether it progresses further is up to the two of you. As they like to say on this board, your mileage may vary.  But if you travel far...tip accordingly.

All that to say that my advice is: Don't try to control it. Choose well. And allow yourself to let it happen. 

 

Totally agree. 

[JSchorr]

I agree with the comments above about letting the masseur control things…don’t be aggressive or grabby. I have found that honesty is the best policy….I usually now ask upfront if mutual touching is ok (even if it’s stated in their ad) AND are there any limits as I wish to be respectful..for example he might not want his butt touched, etc. I don’t even care about a release for myself most times and I’ve told them so., thinking that might result in them being a bit more relaxed with my touching. That being said, many times I have left a bit unsatisfied as I did not feel like the masseur welcomed it - didn’t put himself in an easily touchable position, was unresponsive to being touched. I didn’t push it and backed off. It’s really one of those things where “it all depends.” I’ve also had the opposite experience, being asked if I wanted to f*** them, etc.  The BEST experience for me is to find a repeat guy who is comfortable with the plan and is consistent with it every time….sadly most of those guys for me are sporadic visitors so the meetings are hit and miss. 

[Ali Gator]

When I met a masseur (I had my eye on for a long time) for the first time last year, I asked up front what 'mutual touch' meant during the session (I was a little intimidated by his incredible body). He responded , 'MT means you can touch, feel, lick, kiss or suck any part of my body below my neck'.  WOW! Once I got on the table and saw this incredible body a few feet away from me, I asked again to be sure - and he told me again...and encouraged it  I appreciated how he handled it and I had a great time (the second time we met I was more comfortable with him and knew what he liked).

A few weeks ago, I went to a new masseur (early 40s)  for a sensual massage, who (via text) kept reminding me he allowed 'mutual touch' but nothing sexual, as he's strictly professional. Once I got there, he told me again: he doesn't offer erotic, just sensual with mutual touch with my hands (no mouth, don't try to do oral on him).  I asked if we would both be naked, and he said no - he wears gym shorts (which he did).  He also said he doesn't get aroused, so expect no erections - he's 'immune' to other naked men as he works on so many. Fair enough, I knew the rules. Let's get started...

About fifteen minutes into the session, he's in front of my head and has a complete erection in his shorts...so I started rubbing it through his shorts, and he told me to take his shorts off for him.  So much for non-sexual / non-erotic / strictly professional. We had a great time. (He did tell me he rarely let that happen with a client - said he was very attracted to me, which made my day - I don't hear that often enough at 61).

[big-n-tall]

As has been discussed mutual touch can vary from person to person.

Most of the masseurs I’ve seen (which isn’t many in the grand scheme of things) mutual touch was rather extensive.

Of the ones I’ve seen 4 put a stipulation on mt. They pretty much said if it got in any way sexual (oral/anal) that they expected to be compensated/tipped accordingly. Two I took them up on the offer… the others I didn’t.

The newest guy I met kind of surprised me. It was our first meeting and I wasn’t expecting more than a nice massage, mt, and probably a he.

I could tell from the get go the session was going to be very sexual. He started the massage but fairly quickly he kept positioning himself so my hand was touching his erection and rubbing his crotch. When my finger grazed his hole, he was clearly pre-lubed. After about 50 mins he flipped me over and I’m sure you know what happened next. The massage was supposed to be 90mins but the  session ended up being over 2 hrs.

I don’t normally tip but because he was open to doing a late night session I was going to tip him. After the session I told him I gave him extra. He jokingly said, “You sure it wasn’t for the extra fun we had.” I laughed and said no… I really planned to give you extra for doing the session late at night. He then hugged me, kissed me, and said it’s a good thing we are very sexually compatible.

 

[Ali Gator]

I've been with masseurs in the past who tell me via text that MT is definitely allowed. Once I'm on the table, though, they make sure they stand far enough away so I can't play with their dick. Once they flip me over and start my HE, I'll try to reach for their dick again - but they bring my hand to their chest and tell me that's what excites them -rubbing their pecks and nipples. That's fine, but I want a dick in my hands, too. 

[Boaxxx]

Other than outright asking prior to the session, I think the basic tip for wondering hands is to allow the masseur to take the lead. The masseur will usually signal this by how he brushes up against you. If he is at the head of the table massaging your back, sliding his hands far down you back and brushing his body against you head, that is a sign for me as that movement was intensional on his part.  I've had masseurs take my hand and place it on the back of their leg. That's a clear sign. When he places his cock in the upright palm of your hand, that is a big indicator.

I try to allow things to progress naturally and slowly, paying attention to how he reacts. To me it is very clear when he is saying "keep going" or "that's enough" based on his body movement. Clearly removing your hand is a signal that you've gone far enough.

For me I am always focused on the massage itself and try to drift off to never land. I love being on the verge of falling asleep when I feel his hand or other body part graze a sensual, erotic area of the body or linger a long period in a special place. @DunwoodyGuy is spot on in terms of how I like and want a massage to progress. 

Short answer is to ask upfront. Otherwise relax and enjoy the massage. If you were satisfied at the end, and I don't necessarily mean a HE, them book another session and see if and how things progress. Many times the second or third repeat massage is better than the first.