Regular providers reach clients out often?

[Dingdi]

I’m curious about relationships between clients and their regular providers. Do you often chat out of “business” hours?

Do you do any other non sexual activities together? (A fine dinning before going to bed is not included here. I think it’s a kind of foreplay. )

My story. I meet this escort around every two or three weeks if he is in town. During our meeting, talks and interactions have always been good. 
I sometimes try to talk with him by WhatsApp. My messages are always replied but long time delay although it shows he is online. Of course it’s a polite way to say “shut up”. It makes sense no one is obliged to “work” over time. So I don’t contact him unless to schedule meeting time. Confusingly, he sometimes also reaches me out asking how you are doing or have a nice weekend. When I reply there is always another longtime silence. I guess maybe all his regular clients received same message at that time. 
Before I ask him directly someday or never, I’d like to hear your experience. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

37 minutes ago, Dingdi said:

Do you often chat out of “business” hours?

No. 

37 minutes ago, Dingdi said:

My messages are always replied but long time delay although it shows he is online.

For this reason, I prefer not to show when I am online or to view when others are online.  It creates more mental frustration than it resolves.

39 minutes ago, Dingdi said:

So I don’t contact him unless to schedule meeting time.

Perfect.

 

[jmichaeliii]

Not often.  For the most part I look at this as a business not social hour for the provider.

With that said, I have two that I am pretty close with.  I have seen them both for almost 2 years and almost monthly.  We will message just to see how the other is doing and if we talked about anything at our previous session maybe a follow up on how that is going.

I just don't push it too far because as much as I really like these guys, we each have our own lives and require discretion.

[+ FLOutdoors]

I’m new here, but I can tell you I do chat with two providers during off hours and I just assume they are busy when they take a while to reply. One of them actually apologizes when he takes too long but I fully understand and appreciate they are always needing to market themselves and be responsive to their next “new” client. Everyone has to make a living!😉

[Thelatin]

I have several I chat with all of the time.  I make sure to not send messages for a few days at a time to make sure it’s mutual.  
 

This past week I’ve chatted everyday with a guy I’ve yet to meet.  We haven’t even mentioned when that will happen.  
 

I’m enjoying this a lot more then when I was “in love” with my last two long term guys. 
 

[Dingdi]

1 hour ago, FLOutdoors said:

I’m new here, but I can tell you I do chat with two providers during off hours and I just assume they are busy when they take a while to reply. One of them actually apologizes when he takes too long but I fully understand and appreciate they are always needing to market themselves and be responsive to their next “new” client. Everyone has to make a living!😉

Did they ever initiate the conversation?

[Dingdi]

51 minutes ago, Thelatin said:

I have several I chat with all of the time.  I make sure to not send messages for a few days at a time to make sure it’s mutual.  
 

This past week I’ve chatted everyday with a guy I’ve yet to meet.  We haven’t even mentioned when that will happen.  
 

I’m enjoying this a lot more then when I was “in love” with my last two long term guys. 
 

You are lucky your “lovers” respond actively. 

[Dingdi]

1 hour ago, jmichaeliii said:

as much as I really like these guys, we each have our own lives and require discretion.

That’s pretty true!

[+ FLOutdoors]

Yes. In my case both providers have reached out on their own…..one of them out of the blue after a few weeks absence

[Oakman]

All long-term business relationships require some amount of social lubrication. I suggest keeping off-hours conversation with a provider focused on the subjects of how you spend your time together, how much fun you have together, and the likelihood of getting together again soon. I question the wisdom of trying to draw a provider into deeper conversations than this.
 

If you need someone to talk to on an hourly basis about the difficult things in life (and don’t have a friend for that), pay for a therapist. Don’t tangle yourself up with a provider, pretending his is also your BFF. That is behavior for a soap opera character. 

[soloyo215]

Well, the stripper with daddy issues and an award-winning ass, who took all my fun money last December in Puerto Vallarta reaches out to me all the time, probably for more money. Does that count as socializing?

Edited February 13 by soloyo215

[BrickBuilder]

The majority is purely business related.  We treat it as a mutually beneficial interaction.  I reach out when I am interested, they reach out when they may be in town.

A few I chat more frequently and the frequency is all over the board.   It tends to be around topics we have found a mutual interest in that has nothing to do with sex (comic books, novels we have read/recommend, or theater) but that is not iron clad...sometimes we share good/bad sex experiences from our side of the counter.  In other situations we have found a common sense of humor or sarcasm or perspective.  I neither expect immediate replies nor do I worry or how fast I read and reply.

But I think in the end we both know we met through a client/provider relationship and neither party is pushing for something more (i.e the client for 'extra time' or 'lets hang out' and the provider for 'can you send me money').  

The majority of the ones I will chat with are not in my city so that provides a limiting factor also over "expectations of more".

If one wants to "shoot the shit" with you about topics....have at it and enjoy the conversation.  But I would never push the need for that extra bit.

[GTMike]

5 hours ago, Dingdi said:

I’m curious about relationships between clients and their regular providers. Do you often chat out of “business” hours?

Do you do any other non sexual activities together? (A fine dinning before going to bed is not included here. I think it’s a kind of foreplay. )

My story. I meet this escort around every two or three weeks if he is in town. During our meeting, talks and interactions have always been good. 
I sometimes try to talk with him by WhatsApp. My messages are always replied but long time delay although it shows he is online. Of course it’s a polite way to say “shut up”. It makes sense no one is obliged to “work” over time. So I don’t contact him unless to schedule meeting time. Confusingly, he sometimes also reaches me out asking how you are doing or have a nice weekend. When I reply there is always another longtime silence. I guess maybe all his regular clients received same message at that time. 
Before I ask him directly someday or never, I’d like to hear your experience. 

There's also another nuanced possibility.

When he reaches out "out of the blue", he could be testing the waters with a couple of clients he feels comfortable with and although he's asking how you're doing and how was weekend etc.., the more direct answer he could be fishing for isn't actually the direct answer to the question of you saying something like, "oh it was great! I'm good."

It actually might be he's seeing if you or someone else he knows might initiate wanting to meet up sometime that day.

If the conversations doesn't go there then, he might just get back to ya later.

Just a thought.

[+ DrownedBoy]

I have a regular I've been seeing for 8 years. By mutual agreement, we don't do anything outside of business, we never formed bonds during sessions, and we treat it as a purely transactional, no strings attached business relationship.

We get along well. He doesn't pretend to enjoy my RP fetishes, but he listens to instructions and does an excellent job pleasing me. I wouldn't want to waste his time texting.

[+ ApexNomad]

28 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

I have a regular I've been seeing for 8 years. By mutual agreement, we don't do anything outside of business, we never formed bonds during sessions, and we treat it as a purely transactional, no strings attached business relationship.

We get along well. He doesn't pretend to enjoy my RP fetishes, but he listens to instructions and does an excellent job pleasing me. I wouldn't want to waste his time texting.

That’s fascinating—thanks for sharing. I’ve never had an 8-year consecutive regular, and honestly, I’m not sure I could handle that. I’d have to really think about that, especially  without forming some kind of bond during a session over that many years.

Interestingly, I had a regular for almost two years before I started dating a man who eventually became my partner. Once I stopped seeing my regular when I was partnered, we decided to be friends—one of the few times that’s happened. Years later, when my partner and I went our separate ways, my former regular was still escorting, but our friendship had become so genuine that the idea of reverting back to a transactional relationship was not even a question. We’re still friends today.

Also, I’m curious — how can he do an excellent job but not pretend to enjoy your fetishes? I couldn’t be with a provider more than once if I felt they weren’t enjoying it. Put aside whether their enjoyment is genuine or not - a great provider should never make you feel or see that they didn’t enjoy it.

[Oakman]

1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said:

He doesn't pretend to enjoy my RP fetishes…

My first take on that was “Received Pronunciation 🇬🇧” so sexy 🥵

[pubic_assistance]

I've known several masseurs over the years who keep in touch, send birthday messages and digital Christmas cards. But obviously this is just part of their marketing with maybe a spoonful of friendship.

As far as escorts..the messages are always just about booking them for another session. No real attempt at friendly banter. Just "when are you back in town" ?

 

[+ Jamie21]

No, I don’t engage in it. Just keep it to responding to clients requests. I never initiate the conversation, and I don’t respond (except to just politely acknowledge it) to chat because it starts to blur the line. Sometimes clients try to start sex chat, or send pics etc. I never respond to that. Only one client has become a friend who I do socialise with but I guess I first met him in a social setting (actually a sex party 😂) so it’s kind of different. He’s no longer a client, now a friend. But otherwise I definitely avoid interactions that are outside of the professional relationship. 

[Thelatin]

Yeah - my chats revolve around what’s for dinner, when yah going to the gym, lately a little politics.   As long as neither party is asking for anything I enjoy it.

[ShortCutie7]

12 hours ago, Oakman said:

My first take on that was “Received Pronunciation 🇬🇧” so sexy 🥵

Same, now all I can think of is Jonathan Bailey and Nicholas Galitzine 🤤 

[+ DrownedBoy]

15 hours ago, Oakman said:

My first take on that was “Received Pronunciation 🇬🇧” so sexy 🥵

I wish. When you see me writing like this, you see what happens when you take a working-class Chicago boy and give him a scholarship to a top ten university.

[+ DrownedBoy]

16 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

That’s fascinating—thanks for sharing. I’ve never had an 8-year consecutive regular, and honestly, I’m not sure I could handle that. I’d have to really think about that, especially  without forming some kind of bond during a session over that many years.

That's why - as has been recommended here - you shouldn't hire unless you're in a (non-paying) relationship. Or at the least, have relationship experience so you know what to look for, how it works, and can catch the differences.

[DGHou]

There is an escort that I saw pretty regularly for a few years.   He is not only the best provider I have ever met he is also the best sex I have ever had.  I'm almost 66 and let's just say I have been enjoying physical pleasure with other guys since I was much, much younger. So I know of what I speak. Anyway, he and I would text to wish each other happy birthday, or at the holidays, or on V-Day like today.  When we see each other it is usually for several hours and he's happy with the one hour rate because we seem to get along well.  We talk about our lives and relationships. We will lay in bed after sex and talk, and sometimes go for round 2. Other times we get together for dinner and maybe a movie, without sex.  I almost always make a contribution for his time because sometimes he says no, he just wanted to hang out and talk.

 

[+ ApexNomad]

9 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

That's why - as has been recommended here - you shouldn't hire unless you're in a (non-paying) relationship. Or at the least, have relationship experience so you know what to look for, how it works, and can catch the differences.

Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically prevent someone from developing a bond or feelings with someone else. Connections can form in all kinds of situations. Just because there’s a financial exchange doesn’t mean a bond can’t develop. Maybe not for you it seems, but if I were seeing a man for 8 consecutive years—partnered or single—I’m almost certainly forming some kind of bond. To me, that’s natural—it means I like this person and care about them on some basic level to want to see them for 8 consecutive years. Doesn’t mean I love them.

Some of the most genuine connections can form outside of traditional relationship structures, where both parties are clear on boundaries but still manage to bond in meaningful ways.

Maybe the better question I should be asking—what do you mean by bond? Never forming a bond during a session? Maybe I’m not understanding. 

[BuffaloKyle]

I talk sports with a provider. He loves to message me always during or after a Buffalo Bills game.