Provided has room mates when hosting

[whatdoidowiththisagain]

I was about to book a provider today until I did a google street view of his house, which is a large 2 story 4 bedroom. It occurred to me he must probably have room mates. When I asked via text, he side stepped the issue by answer a different question. He wouldn't answer until I actually called him. He said he has another room mate but he's totally chill and is also on Rentmen (as if that made it better possibly bumping into another customer AND his room mate) . I told him no, I have to cancel the booking. I felt bad for canceling so far into the process. Am I in the wrong here, should he have been upfront about the room mate situation before offering to host?

[viewing ownly]

While having extra company in the vicinity the place of business is a frustration, it isn't so on the part of the advertiser. You weren't comfortable with the arrangement, and cancelled because of it. You and him didn't do anything wrong, IMO.

I had last year my first appointment with a roommate surprise, but my take is a 180 of yours - I wish he DID ask if he could join in on the fun. I only found out when I was leaving that he was hearing everything going on. He wasn't there when I first arrived. You would consider that to be a tactless violation of your privacy, while I was hoping to experience my 1st 3some since college. 

[56harrisond]

Previous discussions:

 

[+ JamesB]

Of course, I prefer providers who have their own place, but having a roommate isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker. The key is giving me a heads-up if the roommate will be around. Unexpected surprises like someone else being there without prior notice don’t sit well with me.

[whatdoidowiththisagain]

Thanks all I’ll be sure to ask next time if they have roommates or anything like that. I assumed that privacy and discretion was implied, but hearing that roommates aren’t uncommon at all I will ask in the future.

[d.anders]

Roommates are a no-go for me. That doesn't fit with my definition of discretion or professional. Roommates are more common among the HE types, because those guys mostly don't take the business or the customer seriously.

[whatdoidowiththisagain]

18 minutes ago, d.anders said:

Roommates are a no-go for me. That doesn't fit with my definition of discretion or professional. Roommates are more common among the HE types, because those guys mostly don't take the business or the customer seriously.

What is HE?

[BrooklynIrish]

43 minutes ago, whatdoidowiththisagain said:

What is HE?

Happy Ending 

[BrooklynIrish]

1 hour ago, d.anders said:

Roommates are a no-go for me. That doesn't fit with my definition of discretion or professional. Roommates are more common among the HE types, because those guys mostly don't take the business or the customer seriously.

Same for me. I recent when for a massage and realized there was another guy there. I'm not having an HE there. 

[d.anders]

I encountered the issue long ago with one of my HE choices, and all it took was one time to know I did not want to endure that ever again.

[TorontoDrew]

I don't care if there is a roommate but I'm not going to sneak in and be quiet.

[Ali Gator]

If I'm going for full service, I don't want a room-mate there (which is why I usually book with travelers who have a hotel room). There was a regular who I saw in his apartment, but he would always suggest a time when his room-mate was at work (the guy was a waiter, so it varied days and nights). He didn't want his roomie knowing too much about the work he did. It worked out beautifully.

For a massage, I don't mind as much. If he hears my HE, so be it - he will know his room-mate is very good at his job. If the roomie is hot and wants to 'unexpectedly' enter the room, I'm all for it. (Though it never happened in the past 20 years). 

[sky]

One of the providers I see works out of a house/location where the owner allows providers to use that as their base of operations.  The finished basement there is setup as the office.  When coming in you call when arriving and you are the only one seen in the entry and the provider immediately takes you to your room.  For those that know the owner he does offer the option to allow you to come by and see which providers are available that day.  He'll bring them up dressed in knee high socks and thongs so you can inspect them prior to the choosing.  If you want you can touch and take a peek to see if you like the goods or ask certain providers to show how they make out with each other.  That's allowed me to have a 3some in the past.  You pay the owner the room fee and the provider his fee.  The provider I see there the most says it's allowed him to do in-call which he can't do where he lives but he did mention that a percentage of what he makes goes to the owner of the space.   

[nate_sf]

When I met my partner many years ago, he was a masseur living in a large flat with roommates. They had an agreement that when the doorbell rang, everybody would go into their rooms, close the door, and go quiet. Once the client was in the massage room with the door closed, roommates could leave their rooms but still needed to be relatively quiet. The client was never supposed to see any of the roommates. Given the cost of living in SF, this seemed acceptable to me. I never met any of the roommates until I started dating the masseur, and that's when I learned about how they had it all managed.

More recently I had a late-night massage with a masseur in London. After we were finished, he offered me to use the shower but asked for me to speak quietly, as he had a roommate who was sleeping. Whether it was a roommate or partner, I didn't really care, and it didn't bother me knowing there was someone else there since he was behind a closed door and I didn't see him. But I'd agree it would be weird to come out of a massage and have a roommate hanging about.

[RugbyBen]

It doesn't bother me, but it's perfectly legitimate to cancel if that is an issue for you. I know many guys who don't like there being anyone else in the house when they are getting massaged with extras. 

I had a massage this week where the masseur let me know while I was on my way that his husband works from home, which was later than ideal, but it wasn't an issue for me. I didn't see or hear him, and it didn't stop the masseur being comfortable with me being naked and undraped and giving me a happy ending. 

I had two occasions in my 20s where after a few sessions a masseur suggested their partner, who was in another room which I didn't know, might be interested in joining. First time was great, partner was a rugby guy in his 40s and a hot time was had. Second time the partner was mid 70s and not what I was looking for. To his credit the masseur could tell I was uncomfortable and ended the session. 

Edited February 2 by RugbyBen

[ReynST]

27 minutes ago, sky said:

One of the providers I see works out of a house/location where the owner allows providers to use that as their base of operations.  The finished basement there is setup as the office.  When coming in you call when arriving and you are the only one seen in the entry and the provider immediately takes you to your room.  For those that know the owner he does offer the option to allow you to come by and see which providers are available that day.  He'll bring them up dressed in knee high socks and thongs so you can inspect them prior to the choosing.  If you want you can touch and take a peek to see if you like the goods or ask certain providers to show how they make out with each other.  That's allowed me to have a 3some in the past.  You pay the owner the room fee and the provider his fee.  The provider I see there the most says it's allowed him to do in-call which he can't do where he lives but he did mention that a percentage of what he makes goes to the owner of the space.   

This sounds WAY too much like trafficking. 😣

[Dingdi]

My fresh experience last day in the provider’s apartment. When we were kissing on the living room couch, his roommate and roommate’s friend came in. 
They were also surprised. The provider jumped up and talked something to them. (I don’t understand their language.) And then they came to shack hand with me. Finally we moved to the bedroom and went on. I was feeling so embarrassed. 

[jeezifonly]

Don’t care how hot, how hung.

Don’t care how big the place is.

I book solo time .

If anyone in addition to the provider is there when I show up, buh-bye.

 

[pubic_assistance]

I'm a little surprised by the number of people who are so conflicted about people hearing you "get off".

When I was in college my roommate and I used to bring girls to our room and fuck them while we were both at home. Sometimes I would sleep through it and sometimes I would jerk-off fantasizing that they would ask me to join in. Occasionally we'd be back home from a sorority party and we'd both have scored and we had an inside joke about trying to orgasm at the same time. The fact that we were listening to each other have sex was actually a big turn on for us.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

3 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I'm a little surprised by the number of people who are so conflicted about people hearing you "get off".

When I was in college my roommate and I used to bring girls to our room and fuck them while we were both at home. Sometimes I would sleep through it and sometimes I would jerk-off fantasizing that they would ask me to join in. Occasionally we'd be back home from a sorority party and we'd both have scored and we had an inside joke about trying to orgasm at the same time. The fact that we were listening to each other have sex was actually a big turn on for us.

Hot 🔥 🔥 🔥 

I'm reminded of these lyrics from a song in Avenue Q:

You're not allowed to be loud
At the library
At the art museum
Or at a play
But when you and your partner
Are doing the nasty
Don't behave like you're
At the ballet

'Cause you can be as loud as
The hell you want
When you're making love
(Making sweet, sweet love)
You can be as loud as
The hell you want
When you're making love
(Loud as the hell)
(Loud as the hell you want)

Don't let the neighbors
Stop you from havin' fun
They'll have peace and quiet
When you're good and done
Be as loud as
The hell you want
When you're making love
Loud as the hell you want

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 2/1/2025 at 8:41 PM, whatdoidowiththisagain said:

I was about to book a provider today until I did a google street view of his house, which is a large 2 story 4 bedroom. It occurred to me he must probably have room mates. When I asked via text, he side stepped the issue by answer a different question. He wouldn't answer until I actually called him. He said he has another room mate but he's totally chill and is also on Rentmen (as if that made it better possibly bumping into another customer AND his room mate) . I told him no, I have to cancel the booking. I felt bad for canceling so far into the process. Am I in the wrong here, should he have been upfront about the room mate situation before offering to host?

I don't think "wrong" is the correct word; but, I would describe it as "picky".  It's like if I walked into a brothel to order a sexy man for an hour, but then insist that the manager prevent any other men from working during the hour that I am there.   Or if I visited a bathhouse, but insisted all the other patrons leave the facility before I have sex with one man who cruised me.

Your hiring a sex worker for sex.  Who cars if another sex worker is in the same building!?!

Edited February 9 by Vegas_Millennial

[whatdoidowiththisagain]

57 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I don't "wrong" is the correct word; but, I would describe it as "picky".  It's like if I walked into a brothel to order a sexy man for an hour, but then insist that the manager prevent any other men from working during the hour that I am there.   Or if I visited a bathhouse, but insisted all the other patrons leave the facility before I have sex with one man who cruised me.

Your hiring a sex worker for sex.  Who cars if another sex worker is in the same building!?!

I thought there's an implied difference between prostitution and escorting. arent escorts supposed to be more discreet and more personal? not some handy in an alley way or sex worker in an established brothel

[pubic_assistance]

33 minutes ago, whatdoidowiththisagain said:

I thought there's an implied difference between prostitution and escorting.

Yes.

An escort is supposed to be joining you at the opera. 

A prostitute sucks your dick.

Unfortunately most men like their dick sucked, even if they have tickets to the opera. 😉

 

[soloyo215]

On 2/1/2025 at 11:41 PM, whatdoidowiththisagain said:

I was about to book a provider today until I did a google street view of his house, which is a large 2 story 4 bedroom. It occurred to me he must probably have room mates. When I asked via text, he side stepped the issue by answer a different question. He wouldn't answer until I actually called him. He said he has another room mate but he's totally chill and is also on Rentmen (as if that made it better possibly bumping into another customer AND his room mate) . I told him no, I have to cancel the booking. I felt bad for canceling so far into the process. Am I in the wrong here, should he have been upfront about the room mate situation before offering to host?

You're not in the wrong there, in my experience and opinion. I had a terrible experience with a provider and his roommates (two) walking around. It was a terrible experience. I can't tell if you might have experienced the same, but is up to us to decide what makes us comfortable. If the possibility of another person in the place bothers you, then it's a deal breaker to you.

Based on that experience, roommates and visitors are a deal breaker for me.

You decide what your level of comfort is.