He’s been in prison. Is that a deal-killer for you?

[moonlight]

Just knowing that he's been in prison, without knowing the details? No, not a dealbreaker at all. It's not exactly uncommon.

Sure, there are certain crimes that would be a dealbreaker if I somehow knew about them, but that's not a realistic expectation which is why this site, street smarts, and intuition are important.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 12/14/2024 at 8:21 AM, InterestingGuy said:

If you find out an escort that you’ve never met before has been in prison - does that instantly make you decide to never meet him?

It depends... Was he the bottom or the top in prison?

[Lazarus]

It would a dealbreaker for me if he WASN’T in prison before. 

[soloyo215]

On 12/14/2024 at 11:21 AM, InterestingGuy said:

If you find out an escort that you’ve never met before has been in prison - does that instantly make you decide to never meet him?
 

I have pros and cons (no pun intended intended) regarding this subject. I have met several escorts multiple times where I found out LATER that they did time, but I would never have know initially - and they were all great experiences. 
 

But I’m not naive - and knowing beforehand gives me pause. I’d like to hear other opinions and experiences with this situation.

I guess it depends on the person. I happen to have done work with the ex-offender population, and in that respect I see no difference between people with criminal records and people who don't have a criminal record. The first thing that come to mind is that there are people out there with no criminal record who deserve to be in prison; they just haven't been caught. Second, there's a difference between having a record and being a repeat offender. Then there's the type of offense that the individual has a record for. I wouldn't care if the person has a record for prostitution, for example.

If I can, I ask for details. I also am aware that hiring involves a level of risk in terms of personal safety.

That all means that to me, the simple fact that a provider has been to prison is something to maybe inquire about details, but not necessarily a deal breaker. I'm not into the "bad boy" fantasy, but I have seen how appealing being in prison has been to many gay men I know.

[+ DrownedBoy]

Sorry, but I've had a bad experience with a provider with a criminal record.

It will suffice to say that having served time can indicate that a person is emotionally labile.

On the plus side, if such a provider causes trouble and LE gets involved, there's no way they're going to listen or believe him, so it's easier to get rid of them.

[ICTJOCK]

My suggestion is that you find out why he was in prison and the circumstances.    "Being in prison"  can mean a whole lot of different things.     The assistant manager at my gym was in prison for something related to theft.   He is very good at what he does and we get along tine.   Of course he has a regular job,  not an escort.

I'd get facts and talk to him about his background and what happened.    Make your decision with eyes open.

[+ glutes]

A deal killer for everyone should be hiring a provider who is gonna go to prison.

[Monarchy79]

Would you all judge the guy if he was in prison for….. 

prostitution? 😎

[Monarchy79]

I should go to the “Questions about Hiring” forum as ask escorts if they would take business from potential clients if they knew they were white collar criminals or registered sex offenders. 

I pose this comment to make the point that  the clients have just as “if not more” potential to be harmful and dangerous than the actual professionals. 

Keep in mind that these are the workers who sometimes entertain the incels, the unattractive, the degenerate, the mentally ill, the socially inept, and many of whom has past histories of crime and issues. 

What blows my mind is that the professionals operate with more understanding and less judgment. 
 

 

[Vin Marco]

On 12/14/2024 at 10:21 AM, InterestingGuy said:

If you find out an escort that you’ve never met before has been in prison - does that instantly make you decide to never meet him?
 

I have pros and cons (no pun intended intended) regarding this subject. I have met several escorts multiple times where I found out LATER that they did time, but I would never have know initially - and they were all great experiences. 
 

But I’m not naive - and knowing beforehand gives me pause. I’d like to hear other opinions and experiences with this situation.

"Is that a deal-killer for you?"

Did you use deal "killer" instead of deal "breaker" for a reason? 🧐 🤨  😬 

[Scott Carroll]

On 12/14/2024 at 10:33 AM, MscleLovr said:

I’d like to feel that I’d consider all the circumstances (eg teenage indiscretion, taking part in civil protest or other misdemeanor)…but I fear my instinctive reaction would be to say NO immediately.

I’m not proud of this, but I feel it adds a layer of risk to engaging with a stranger. It seems to me that visiting a stranger at his place or inviting him into your own and spending time together is hazard enough.
 

Most times, things will go swimmingly…but you don’t want to be that rare unfortunate incident. 

I too appreciate your honesty and candor and when I was younger that would have been my immediate reaction as well.  Having aged a bit (quite a bit), I now know that shit happens and jail time just isn't really an issue with me.  Of course, if he was a violent offender and I knew that ahead of time that would color my decision.

[Boaxxx]

It's not an instant deal breaker until I know what the offense was. If it is any type of theft I would think twice. If it was a violent act against someone then that's a definite buh -bye.

[BuffaloKyle]

It's not a deal breaker for me, it's just a hookup session, I'm not marrying the guy.

[DMonDude]

Would depend on the why he went and how long ago for me. Though honestly, long as it wasn't the big crimes like any type of assault or murder or robbery or sex offender stuff. I'd probably be ok with still hiring them. Like half the providers i hire i later found out actively sell drugs (both the soft stuff and the hard stuff). I'm in a big city where the rich (and a lot of not rich people) like to party. Pretty much everyone here is within 2 or 3 friends of knowing a dealer of some kind, lot of providers here are making "deliveries" as one of their side hustles. Times are tough and people below a certain age effectively have no prosperity in their future unless grander societal things change. So i don't blame anyone for doing what they gotta do. And what we hire providers for itself isn't exactly legal in most places. So i find it hard to be too judgemental/harsh on the guys for having done any kind of time (again, major crimes not included).

The only thing that'd ever really scare me about hiring guys who've done time or are involved with "other activities" is the paranoid thought that if they do get caught or picked up for something they'd make some kind of deal where they become an informant and rat out their clients in exchange for less time or something.

[jeffla]

Easy NO.

Doesn't matter what the real story is. No encounter is worth the gamble with my safety, with my privacy, with my well-being... all the risks that can come with these encounters (both ways, of course).

I will do facial-rec searches before I see someone new, and if mugshots come up, it's time to move on. Why gamble? The stakes are way too high, and this just isn't important enough to take that risk. 

Edited 7 hours ago by jeffla

[+ azdr0710]

meeting with a dude tomorrow afternoon who I've met several times before and who spent several years in state prison for something like stealing drugs and trying to resell them....I guess that is a serious crime?!.......he's open with me about it all and it only makes the meeting that much more scorching 😈

as I've said before, there are several providers who we all know and love on the forum here who have done time in prison (not jail), including for assault.......you'd never guess that smiling forum darling has beat somebody up to within an inch of their life!!.....the ones I've met are invariably the nicest guys I know

it's an important concern......we're going to be alone with a stranger (first meet) and relying on trust.......you may want to tell a trusted, discreet friend where you'll be and check back in later with him/her.......or, as I've done before, leave a note on your living room floor with all the essentials so your friends know who killed you when they break down your door after several days of no contact!  

Edited 7 hours ago by azdr0710

[+ Alabastrine]

Not a deal breaker for me but it does depend on what they were arrested for and what the circumstances were. I've known my fair share of people who use recreational drugs and were unfortunately at the wrong place/wrong time for a cop shakedown. If it's a violent crime, grifting or theft they were sent to prison for then it's a red flag.