So there’s this guy…

[Guest]

Since I took up this hobby, I’ve scoured hundreds of ads and enjoyed multiple experiences with several different types, some just once and others multiple times. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every encounter, and keep in touch with a few of them. Unintentionally, I’ve narrowed it down to just one provider whom I’ve interacted with but never met. He seems so perfect for me that I’m too shy to pull the trigger.

That got me thinking: given the smorgasbord of options, why just one? I’m not sure. I think it’s because I want to work with someone who knows me, my likes and dislikes, is compatible, and enjoys the time together. Not a relationship—professional with boundaries, but not entirely disinterested. A professional friendship.

It’s not to say I wouldn’t venture beyond that one guy from time to time, but feel a need for that one stable connection. Also, it just seems less complicated; I don’t care for the awkward messaging and rapport-building of the “getting to know you” stage. I guess I’m a minimalist when it comes to human interaction; no patience for clutter.

How common is this among clients? Interested in both client and provider perspectives.

 

[+ Pensant]

I think it’s more common than we assume. I have always loved multiple sessions with providers with whom I’ve developed both a personal and erotic rapport. A few haven’t advertised for years, but still see me occasionally. In fact, last week I had a scorching session with an eternal twink whom I first met 9 years ago and who is now 35. I’ve also engaged 3 newbies over the past year who are all enthusiastic lovers and friends. I’ve been largely happy with this pastime.

[soloyo215]

I have heard and read similar posts expressing the same. You try some, you like some, you keep some, you love some more than others. I've also known of others who prefer finding one or two and forget about the rest of the universe, and that works for them.

You were able to reach out to the other providers and work everything out. It shouldn't be different with the one that you have. Keep in mind that he doesn't know any of what you thought to make him the one to reach out.

[NJF]

For me, it is either one-and-done, or a long-term regular. 

[liubit]

In my long hiring career (30+ years, now interrupted, but that’s a different story), I had what I called  “anchor escort(s)”, that is long-term regular(s) that I hired frequently even if I occasionally tasted other waters. I found it very reassuring to come back to familiar mouths, dicks and asses between adventures. More than just regulars, they were my comfort zone. 

Edited March 6 by liubit

[+ poolboy48220]

I strive for this - when I find someone I like, I stick with them.  Unfortunately they all seem to retire.  I've wondered in my darker moments if I am the common point in all these great guys retiring. 

[jmichaeliii]

10 hours ago, liubit said:

In my long hiring career (30+ years, now interrupted, but that’s a different story), I had what I called  “anchor escort(s)”, that is long-term regular(s) that I hired frequently even if I occasionally tasted other waters. I found it very reassuring to come back to familiar mouths, dicks and asses between adventures. More than just regulars, they were my comfort zone. 

Much shorter timeframe here, but I have 2 anchors.  It is fun to test, but if you have those anchor guys, I find that the more sessions you have, the better they get as you get comfortable and less inhibited with each other.  I consider myself lucky to know 2 great guys in this business.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

We prefer to find guys who we like and build a relationship (a friendly client/provider one) that we can sustain over time. The challenge there is sometimes guys are traveling, or not available when we are, or they leave the industry. We have two guys we're mostly seeing now. Fingers crossed. 

[dbar123]

In my experience with over 40+  Rentmen over the past 5+ years, there is no one perfect person.

I’ll gladly pay $200 to meet 50% of my “needs” and $250 for 80% of what I want. $300 for 90%. Still haven’t found an escort who will meet more than 90%. Maybe I’m too big of an asshole

[CuriousByNature]

11 hours ago, dbar123 said:

Maybe I’m too big of an asshole

So you're saying you need to find someone with more girth?

[dbar123]

3 minutes ago, CuriousByNature said:

So you're saying you need to find someone with more girth?

I meant it figuratively…I guess I’m fussy but flexible for less money

[CuriousByNature]

20 minutes ago, dbar123 said:

I meant it figuratively…I guess I’m fussy but flexible for less money

I know... just my bad sense of humor showing through!

[Simon Suraci]

On 3/6/2024 at 8:16 PM, dbar123 said:

In my experience with over 40+  Rentmen over the past 5+ years, there is no one perfect person.

I’ll gladly pay $200 to meet 50% of my “needs” and $250 for 80% of what I want. $300 for 90%. Still haven’t found an escort who will meet more than 90%. Maybe I’m too big of an asshole

Thanks for laying out your thought process. Too many expect 100% of their needs to be met for the $200 range, but too often that’s unrealistic. At least you have a sense of what you value and are willing to pay for the higher value items (to you) accordingly. 

Curious: what would satisfy the 90%+ range for you? What about 100%?

[+ JEC]

In my first 2-3 years at this hobby, I hired probably 30 guys and rarely twice. I was always on to the next shiny object, and I had a lot of hot fucks.  Then I met Dan (interestingly not thru this site or RM), who has been my semi-regular since.  Dan is a submissive bottom who calls me Sir (TBH this is more his thing than mine, but I roll with it).  He's probably 35 now, and in great shape (triathlete).  Every time we meet we mix it up and he (or I) bring something different to the table (sometimes planned, sometimes a surprise).  I met Dan about 1 year before COVID and have been seeing him roughly monthly.  To someone's previous point, there is value in someone who knows your likes, and who you have (and continue to develop) chemistry with.  And, that you get to know a little about each other over time (while maintaining boundaries).   I have hired a few other guys along the way, but it's now a rare exception.

[jmichaeliii]

58 minutes ago, JEC said:

In my first 2-3 years at this hobby, I hired probably 30 guys and rarely twice. I was always on to the next shiny object, and I had a lot of hot fucks.  Then I met Dan (interestingly not thru this site or RM), who has been my semi-regular since.  Dan is a submissive bottom who calls me Sir (TBH this is more his thing than mine, but I roll with it).  He's probably 35 now, and in great shape (triathlete).  Every time we meet we mix it up and he (or I) bring something different to the table (sometimes planned, sometimes a surprise).  I met Dan about 1 year before COVID and have been seeing him roughly monthly.  To someone's previous point, there is value in someone who knows your likes, and who you have (and continue to develop) chemistry with.  And, that you get to know a little about each other over time (while maintaining boundaries).   I have hired a few other guys along the way, but it's now a rare exception.

100% agreed with everything you said.

[nate_sf]

On 3/5/2024 at 4:02 AM, Km411 said:

That got me thinking: given the smorgasbord of options, why just one? I’m not sure. I think it’s because I want to work with someone who knows me, my likes and dislikes, is compatible, and enjoys the time together. Not a relationship—professional with boundaries, but not entirely disinterested. A professional friendship.

What you are describing is "a regular." I agree with everything others have said on this. I'll add that another advantage of having a regular thing is it allows a continuation of exploration. Like, "next time I'd like to try ______" or "next time could you bring ______?"

Having a regular thing going with an escort is not unlike having a regular business relationship in other trades. Yes, you're friendly, and you sincerely enjoy seeing each other when business brings you together. Maybe it even drifts towards a friendship, but otherwise it's the "professional relationship" you mention. Just this week for my day job I had a Zoom with a vendor whose contract was up for renewal, and when we got on screen we were both truly pleased to see each other after nearly a year of only being in touch occasionally by email. Then there are the baristas, barbers, trainers, etc etc... people who we know well enough to be greeted by name, and while not friends in the conventional sense there is still a friendly relationship.

Of course it's in the interest of business to have regular clients, escorts included, so I'll say I'm biased! But I see the advantage to both parties. Most of my clients are regulars, and it's nice to just get a text that says "come on over" and we pick up where we left off last time.

[maninsoma]

On 3/5/2024 at 4:02 AM, Km411 said:

Since I took up this hobby, I’ve scoured hundreds of ads and enjoyed multiple experiences with several different types, some just once and others multiple times. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every encounter, and keep in touch with a few of them. Unintentionally, I’ve narrowed it down to just one provider whom I’ve interacted with but never met. He seems so perfect for me that I’m too shy to pull the trigger.

That got me thinking: given the smorgasbord of options, why just one? I’m not sure. I think it’s because I want to work with someone who knows me, my likes and dislikes, is compatible, and enjoys the time together. Not a relationship—professional with boundaries, but not entirely disinterested. A professional friendship.

It’s not to say I wouldn’t venture beyond that one guy from time to time, but feel a need for that one stable connection. Also, it just seems less complicated; I don’t care for the awkward messaging and rapport-building of the “getting to know you” stage. I guess I’m a minimalist when it comes to human interaction; no patience for clutter.

How common is this among clients? Interested in both client and provider perspectives.

 

I agree with the others about having a regular or two.  Over the course of 10+ years I hired over 50 different guys.  One guy I hired nearly monthly for a decade, another whenever he was in town for the few years he was in this line of work.  A few others were hired multiple times, but not enough over a long enough period to be considered a regular.

I am confused by part of your post, though, and wonder if everyone is just taking in your last three paragraphs and not the last two sentences of your first paragraph.  Am I reading your post correctly: You've hired several guys and enjoyed yourself, but have one guy you've interacted with but never met because he seems too perfect?  Are you asking whether that's common for clients -- to hire many guys but not the one that is most appealing?  That really only makes sense to me in one of two scenarios: a) You think the guy isn't actually what he claims to be or b) You fear that your strong interest in this guy will make things awkward (e.g., your insecurities will make it difficult to enjoy being with him, you'll have stronger feelings towards him than you are comfortable with, etc).  Otherwise, why wouldn't you hire the guy who attracts you the most intensely?

[Guest]

I see your point; poorly drafted on my part. It was really just intended to set up the question that followed, i.e., one v. multiple providers. All of the responses have been very helpful.
 

As to why I wouldn’t approach the one I seem most interested in? Good question; haven’t figured that out yet, nor have I ruled out the possibility that I would approach him at some point. Can’t really explain the reluctance. We’ll see.

[+ APPLE1]

I have hired a few that I thought were "perfect for me." They weren't. I would certainly hire another who comes along and I think is "perfect for me. " However, I think "shattering" the delusion of the guys I thought were perfect allowed me to appreciate and enjoy my experiences other providers more.

[+ DrownedBoy]

There's no substitute for taking escorts out for a test spin, and if you make this your hobby, expect to waste some money and time doing that. Unfortunate reality of the marketplace.

 

Like @APPLE1 said, I've seen escorts that I couldn't wait to try out, only to find out their personalities didn't match their looks.

On the other hand, when I started hiring, there was this really hot, muscular guy I waited a year or 2 before hiring, because I was intimidated by him. I first hired him 7 years ago; he's my longest-term regular.

[jmichaeliii]

15 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

There's no substitute for taking escorts out for a test spin, and if you make this your hobby, expect to waste some money and time doing that. Unfortunate reality of the marketplace.

 

Like @APPLE1 said, I've seen escorts that I couldn't wait to try out, only to find out their personalities didn't match their looks.

On the other hand, when I started hiring, there was this really hot, muscular guy I waited a year or 2 before hiring, because I was intimidated by him. I first hired him 7 years ago; he's my longest-term regular.

That's interesting.  I went through the same thing with my first hire.  Was so intimidated by how good he looked.  Turned out he's a super nice guy and we see each other every month and the sessions get better every time we meet.

[arnie]

After many many years of hiring 2-3x a year, I only rebooked once and he was a disappointment the second time due to things taking off in his career including porn.  Finally found a guy and have rebooked him.   It is emotionally exhausting trying to figure out if  and how you fit into this guys  MO for want of a better term.  No matter how much you communicate, escorts, particularly on a first meeting have their game plan that they fall back on.  While they might flip or flop on an activity to accommodate you, they have a way they function.   Escorts have their quirks and often ignore when you ask.  One guy I found out too late wouldn't kiss, for his BF only.  Another would let you top him but no fingers.    While it is also exciting to try new adventures, there is a great comfort in finding someone where you know the connection exists and the meeting will be physically and emotionally satisfying.  

[jeezifonly]

On 3/14/2024 at 6:25 AM, Km411 said:

I see your point; poorly drafted on my part. It was really just intended to set up the question that followed, i.e., one v. multiple providers. All of the responses have been very helpful.
 

As to why I wouldn’t approach the one I seem most interested in? Good question; haven’t figured that out yet, nor have I ruled out the possibility that I would approach him at some point. Can’t really explain the reluctance. We’ll see.

If you have the impression that providers you’ve experienced once have/would gladly meet with you a 2nd/3rd time etc, translate that into confidence as a good client and send the text. Unattainable providers don’t return texts. Nothing to lose. 🥂