I know it’s the holidays, but I wish I could tell clients how I feel….

[Jarrod_Uncut]

…Just overall feeling resentful towards the profession after all month listening to client’s excuses, bad planning, and just overall unreliability.

It’s the things like: people expecting me to be ready for them on a whim after not hearing from them for weeks or years in some cases. Then I take time out of my lifestyle to travel and be gone for days and weeks: and not get even treated out for a dinner, no Christmas parties. It’s like what the fuck?

I just feel so unappreciated and undervalued. Yet people want to contact me and tell me what they don’t want to do (like hitting me up at 12 midnight after I drove for 6 hours thru the rain, and want to fucking tell ME he doesn’t want to send a deposit 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

And this same person last contacted me August 2022. So now, NOW…I have to get out of bed at midnight and void my deposit policy to service your dick emergency out the blue? Fuck you! lol. I was nice to him, but I blacklisted his ass to high hell and I hope nobody has to deal with his shit. 

Meanwhile I have another client who I’m about to straight up tell him: “I met you on same day notice LAST time on Black Friday, I’m not doing it again. He needs to get his shit together, I don’t give a shit if you’re married or not, but I’m not about to be running around hosting at the last minute if you can’t plan at least a day ahead. It’s inconsiderate and rude to think you can barge into my schedule, but be endlessly busy when I try to get them to schedule anything when it’s convenient for me.

And in the same tone, I got so sick of asking around clients earlier this month trying to get them to book after they requested a visit from me. I’m not putting effort anymore if they can’t be bothered to show up. The bullshit is tiring and depressing. Why the fuck I spend $79, $39, and $30 a month (across 3 different websites) to deal with this shit is a disgrace 😤 

[+ Coolwave35]

You’re 100% right. 

[+ nycman]

3 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

…Just overall feeling resentful towards the profession after all month listening to client’s excuses, bad planning, and just overall unreliability.

[Guest]

I’m sorry you feel unappreciated; set your boundaries and clients will adjust. I’m guessing those who won’t will be replaced by those who will.

[jmichaeliii]

Sorry you have to deal with this nonsense.  As a client, I do my best to respect and value my providers and in turn they treat me like gold.  I hope you are able to weed out the bad ones, because there are many of us that value what you do.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Thanks and excuse me if the vent is a bit personal. But it’s the truth. This all just reminded me of a very simple thing that I was due to do anyway and right on time: just taking down my number and going back to the basics. Some of these same guys haven’t sent a penny for a consultation fee, so they really don’t need to have access to my line to begin with. It’s a reason why I don’t like to be persuaded into believing the things I ask for: are asking too much. Because when I don’t, these fuckers are liable to zap the energy and zest out of my aura. I don’t have time for it. 
 

I just have to stick to my guns and not worry about the missing potential biz. Hell, over the past two weeks traveling 4 different states: I can count all the clients I’ve had, all but 1 sent deposits and booked longer sessions. Maybe about 4 or 5. Everybody else have just been “text pests” contacting me with meaningless inquiries that were very poorly coordinated. Many didn’t get a response or I had to 🚮 after a couple messages. 
 

This is also the reason I avoid cities with more than just a couple or so providers. It’s too much stupidity in the crowded markets. Sit around and respond to dozen of messages from people who haven’t done the most elementary of research or even know anything about me, yet expect instant attention. How is that supposed to actually work? 

 

Edited December 25, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[DWnyc]

2 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

basics. Some of these same guys haven’t sent a penny for a consultation fee

Out of curiosity (seriously) what is this consultation fee I’ve often seen mentioned here? Is this the back and forth on determining whether there’s a fit to justify a booking?

[soloyo215]

10 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Thanks and excuse me if the vent is a bit personal. But it’s the truth. This all just reminded me of a very simple thing that I was due to do anyway and right on time: just taking down my number and going back to the basics. Some of these same guys haven’t sent a penny for a consultation fee, so they really don’t need to have access to my line to begin with. It’s a reason why I don’t like to be persuaded into believing the things I ask for: are asking too much. Because when I don’t, these fuckers are liable to zap the energy and zest out of my aura. I don’t have time for it. 
 

I just have to stick to my guns and not worry about the missing potential biz. Hell, over the past two weeks traveling 4 different states: I can count all the clients I’ve had, all but 1 sent deposits and booked longer sessions. Maybe about 4 or 5. Everybody else have just been “text pests” contacting me with meaningless inquiries that were very poorly coordinated. Many didn’t get a response or I had to 🚮 after a couple messages. 
 

This is also the reason I avoid cities with more than just a couple or so providers. It’s too much stupidity in the crowded markets. Sit around and respond to dozen of messages from people who haven’t done the most elementary of research or even know anything about me, yet expect instant attention. How is that supposed to actually work? 

 

Hope the venting here helps.

[Thomas_Belgium]

17 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

...Why the fuck I spend $79, $39, and $30 a month (across 3 different websites) to deal with this shit is a disgrace 😤 

That's $ 1 776 a year. How many messages do you think you got from those fools last years?

[Ali Gator]

What you've described is the experience of just about everyone who has been self-employed and servicing the public (I owned a retail store for 25 years - the stories I could share ! Especially the Christmas season, and what the customers expect from you.)

Last night, I spent time with a friend of mine who owns her own hair salon. The salon is just her - she doesn't 'rent chairs' out, so it's just her and the client in a quaint, private studio. She's been hairdressing for 30+ years, and opened this salon in 1998 (she opened next door to my old retail space, so I'm familiar with the neighborhood and her clientele). She's been able to support herself by running a tight ship, but the past few years (since the pandemic) has been tough sailing - and giving her second thoughts about continuing once her lease is up next summer.

Anyhow, she was saying this was the worst season she's had since 1998. Because of the holiday season (and holiday parties), she's extended the time she's there this past month (and will do it again this last week for New Year's Eve). She's been there from 7 am - 7 pm Tuesday - Saturday, trying to accommodate everyone - and this is what she has to put up with: The extraordinary amount of last-minute cancellations every day, the number of 'no shows', the number of last-minute calls demanding appointments by new and regulars, the number of new clients wasting time on the phone going over the 'price menu' and then telling her she's 'too expensive' (for the area she's in, and offering a private studio space - she's not), etc.  As she said, if she knew her last three appointments would be no-shows and cancellations, she could've gone home early most days. If she knew most of her 7 am and 8 am appointments would be 'no shows' (they claim 'they forgot'), she could've slept in a little later. 

Aside from this, she said everyone was 'cheap' this year - no cash tips for Christmas (granted, she's an owner but she would always get 'cash tips' as a Holiday gift at this time of year), no gifts for Christmas. 

But with years of experience, she learned (just as I did, and you will to if you haven't already) this behavior goes with the territory - all year long, but especially during the Christmas season. Everyone thinks it's great to be in 'business for yourself' (and it was for me for 25 years), but it's not as easy as it appears and you are at the mercy of 'the public'. 

Good luck! 

[+ Coolwave35]

15 hours ago, Km411 said:

I’m sorry you feel unappreciated; set your boundaries and clients will adjust. I’m guessing those who won’t will be replaced by those who will.

Eventually you run out of clients to replace. 

[Bucky]

Some providers have no idea what control they have and don't have over the business they're in.  

[Guest]

I’m not a provider so I don’t know for sure, but I am in the professional services industry and I think the same principles generally apply.

[Ali Gator]

When I first opened my store in 1987, I had just turned 24 years old. I was fortunate that I had some 'small business managerial experience' behind me (while I put myself through college) and had some mentors who had their own business over the past 5+ years advising me. That's what made me successful from the beginning - but I still had a huge 'learning lesson' ahead of me with customers.

Some of the best advice I got early on (from a neighboring storeowner who had been in business for 7 years - she owned a children's toy store) : "Don't let your customers run your store,"  meaning : do what you can for your customers, but set boundaries and limits. You don't say "Yes" to everyone and every thing. It's OK to say 'No'; your customers respect you even more for setting your limits.

I think this advice goes to providers, as well. (This goes on 'price negotiations' as well - if someone hesitates over a price, you stand firm. If they want you they will pay the price for your services.)  

She also said to me, "This is your business - don't let it become your grave."  Such sound advice, and true for providers as well - set your working hours / travel days, etc.  and learn to take time off and keep time to yourself each week. She told me to 'learn to lock the doors and walk away' (not worrying about customers I might 'miss' when I'm closed - they will come back). 

My advice to providers - 'Learn to shut the cell phone off and put it away, until you're back from your refresher time (whether it be a weekend, a Monday & Tuesday, a week's vacation, etc.). '  Don't worry about clients you might miss when you're 'closed for business'; they will come back.

[pubic_assistance]

On 12/25/2023 at 10:52 AM, soloyo215 said:

Hope the venting here helps.

It hasn't so far....🤣

[DWnyc]

I think the subject of the thread isn’t worded quite right.

Don’t waste your wishes on telling clients how you feel, you can do that any time.

But wishing that they agree with you doesn’t seem very likely.  

[Guest]

I was reading this post and I had a déjà vu.....

[Whatsupandstuff]

11 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

I was reading this post and I had a déjà vu.....

do tell 

[Simon Suraci]

42 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

I was reading this post and I had a déjà vu.....

Haha! On a lighter note…

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget is now available on Netflix. New chicken adventures await!

[Jamie21]

As this is the gift giving season, I’d  like to say that feedback is a gift. 

[Pd1_jap]

As a man who appreciates routine maintenance schedules and things working in a generally orderly fashion, I sympathize with you. You have every right to be frustrated and vent. 

In the few cases I've had to cancel I profusely apologize and pay for the appointment. However, most are not like me. The vast majority of people flake and disappear. I'm not a provider but even dealing with guys on Grindr and other hookup apps is very similar. Some guys think it's perfectly acceptable to have me wait around in their area for 2–6 hours only for them to tell me, "oh sorry, can't make it". 🤯 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 12/25/2023 at 2:20 AM, DWnyc said:

Out of curiosity (seriously) what is this consultation fee I’ve often seen mentioned here? Is this the back and forth on determining whether there’s a fit to justify a booking?

For me, the consultation is basically prioritizing an inquiry with may include but not be limited to: screening, viewing their pics (which can sometimes be something XXX rated) which I don’t mind but: often requires me to seek privacy if I don’t already have it in the moment, answering questions, etc.

There’s been times I may have been out with family, friends, or just doing general “me” stuff: and get a booking request. But after an hour of texting (and I know many people will say you can figure everything out in 10 minutes: but that’s not necessarily true. I would say on average it takes an hour of texting (breaks/thinking included) to figure out if there’s match. 
 

Occasionally if someone is super horny now, and I happen to also be available at the same time and they are ready to meet: it can only take 10 minutes to go from Hi, rate, address. But that rarely happens, unless I’m “Available now” laying in bed doing nothing with my life all day long: which conveniently is the times nobody texts me 🤦🏾‍♂️ They text me right when I decide to walk into the gym, or start a movie 😂 

On 12/25/2023 at 11:50 AM, Ali Gator said:

What you've described is the experience of just about everyone who has been self-employed and servicing the public (I owned a retail store for 25 years - the stories I could share ! Especially the Christmas season, and what the customers expect from you.)

Last night, I spent time with a friend of mine who owns her own hair salon. The salon is just her - she doesn't 'rent chairs' out, so it's just her and the client in a quaint, private studio. She's been hairdressing for 30+ years, and opened this salon in 1998 (she opened next door to my old retail space, so I'm familiar with the neighborhood and her clientele). She's been able to support herself by running a tight ship, but the past few years (since the pandemic) has been tough sailing - and giving her second thoughts about continuing once her lease is up next summer.

Anyhow, she was saying this was the worst season she's had since 1998. Because of the holiday season (and holiday parties), she's extended the time she's there this past month (and will do it again this last week for New Year's Eve). She's been there from 7 am - 7 pm Tuesday - Saturday, trying to accommodate everyone - and this is what she has to put up with: The extraordinary amount of last-minute cancellations every day, the number of 'no shows', the number of last-minute calls demanding appointments by new and regulars, the number of new clients wasting time on the phone going over the 'price menu' and then telling her she's 'too expensive' (for the area she's in, and offering a private studio space - she's not), etc.  As she said, if she knew her last three appointments would be no-shows and cancellations, she could've gone home early most days. If she knew most of her 7 am and 8 am appointments would be 'no shows' (they claim 'they forgot'), she could've slept in a little later. 

Aside from this, she said everyone was 'cheap' this year - no cash tips for Christmas (granted, she's an owner but she would always get 'cash tips' as a Holiday gift at this time of year), no gifts for Christmas. 

But with years of experience, she learned (just as I did, and you will to if you haven't already) this behavior goes with the territory - all year long, but especially during the Christmas season. Everyone thinks it's great to be in 'business for yourself' (and it was for me for 25 years), but it's not as easy as it appears and you are at the mercy of 'the public'. 

Good luck! 

thanks for sharing. I’ve actually gotten to become friends with my barber, and I can tell he has his share of annoying customers from time to time. I also can see when things get slow or he gets frustrated when people show up before closing and expect to bring 2-3 kids along too. But what your hairdresser friend sounds like, is definitely a handful. If I were her, I would definitely be charging deposits for the fact of having to be there so early. But at the same time, by having a dedicated studio and work hours: I can see it not being “required” to need a deposit…she is basically just showing up to work on a set schedule, versus commuting to different areas or hosting out of a hotel or her own private space.
 

On 12/26/2023 at 10:29 AM, Ali Gator said:

When I first opened my store in 1987, I had just turned 24 years old. I was fortunate that I had some 'small business managerial experience' behind me (while I put myself through college) and had some mentors who had their own business over the past 5+ years advising me. That's what made me successful from the beginning - but I still had a huge 'learning lesson' ahead of me with customers.

Some of the best advice I got early on (from a neighboring storeowner who had been in business for 7 years - she owned a children's toy store) : "Don't let your customers run your store,"  meaning : do what you can for your customers, but set boundaries and limits. You don't say "Yes" to everyone and every thing. It's OK to say 'No'; your customers respect you even more for setting your limits.

I think this advice goes to providers, as well. (This goes on 'price negotiations' as well - if someone hesitates over a price, you stand firm. If they want you they will pay the price for your services.)  

She also said to me, "This is your business - don't let it become your grave."  Such sound advice, and true for providers as well - set your working hours / travel days, etc.  and learn to take time off and keep time to yourself each week. She told me to 'learn to lock the doors and walk away' (not worrying about customers I might 'miss' when I'm closed - they will come back). 

My advice to providers - 'Learn to shut the cell phone off and put it away, until you're back from your refresher time (whether it be a weekend, a Monday & Tuesday, a week's vacation, etc.). '  Don't worry about clients you might miss when you're 'closed for business'; they will come back.

Good suggestion. And that’s why I didn’t take that text. And I’ll also add: the text I screenshot in the original message, I really didn’t want to see him. I sent him that message, and then rolled over and went to bed without even looking back at his response. Because I seen his previous attempts to book me, were low vibrational and low effort. So I wanted to quote him a minimum but I was surprised he was going to pay the $400. However, I was still too tired from the long ride, and I had been available for 3 hours that night, and he texts me just as I got into bed 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

9 hours ago, Pd1_jap said:

but even dealing with guys on Grindr and other hookup apps is very similar. Some guys think it's perfectly acceptable to have me wait around in their area for 2–6 hours only for them to tell me, "oh sorry, can't make it". 🤯 

Ugh, don’t even get me started with guys from Grindr 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

I stopped in Chicago couple weekends ago: it was only meant to be a one night stop on my way elsewhere. But, since I didn’t have any clients the night I arrived, I tried to make use of my hotel room by logging onto Grindr. Came across a sexy guy nearby, however he didn’t get back to me until the next morning and I only had the room for one night.

He’s like come over, so after I check out of my hotel I reach out to him. Went to his apartment (it wasn’t bad…just older, but gave me a weird vibe). Long story short, we had a good time, even hung out longer than anticipated watching movies and fucking. Spent the night. But he failed to inform that his complex was permit parking only. I wake up the next morning and look out the window, my car is GONE. I’m going crazy about to have a manic attack because all my luggage was in there. It just soured the experience.
 

I was disappointed at him for hiding the facts, but I was equally disappointed at myself for once again:  trusting a Grindr dude to transparency. It’s exactly why I just stick to client meetups when traveling. And it’s ESPECIALLY why I don’t like to break my #1 rule when meeting guys on Grindr: never trust going to their place the first time. I have  them come to me or a public place. But that’s usually been so I don’t waste my time going to their place if they aren’t serious. But I never been to a Grindr date’s house and got towed. That’ll be another reason to add.

 

 

 

Edited December 28, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

10 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

I was reading this post and I had a déjà vu.....

 

9 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

As this is the gift giving season, I’d  like to say that feedback is a gift. 

I know it probably sounds like a rehearsed topic, but the truth of the matter is: sometimes I just don’t always have the capacity to take on the nonsense. I mean, I been actually having a pretty good December…I met my fit, Santa Claus appearing client earlier this month, and then a couple great new clients on tour. So I’m not complaining. Unfortunately I had to cut it short due to health reasons, and the holiday was close and I know business always slows down the 23rd-26th when family plans start brewing.

But I don’t always have the capacity for rejection. Or random going nowhere messages. I’m not always “on” and ready to be a bubbly escort. Sometimes I just want people to book and show up. In fact I was having a good two weeks of clients booking things very perfectly: no issues confirming, scheduling times.
 

But I head back home because it’s close to the holiday, and people start giving me the run around. It just put me in an off frame of mind. Like for example, a dude was texting me last weekend:

 

 

I’m in green…but, it’s stuff like this. I know it seems like cordial conversation but, he might as well not even contacted me at all if he was so busy with plans that had nothing to do with me. I was literally available all day long Saturday, and half day Sunday…he could have made some effort to show up.
 

That’s why I feel getting paid to handle client inquiries, is reasonable for me. I could have done without knowing he didn’t have as much time as he alluded to, despite saying he could do Saturday, Sunday or Tuesday 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

Edited December 28, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[marylander1940]

On 12/24/2023 at 5:14 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

…Just overall feeling resentful towards the profession after all month listening to client’s excuses, bad planning, and just overall unreliability.

It’s the things like: people expecting me to be ready for them on a whim after not hearing from them for weeks or years in some cases. Then I take time out of my lifestyle to travel and be gone for days and weeks: and not get even treated out for a dinner, no Christmas parties. It’s like what the fuck?

I just feel so unappreciated and undervalued. Yet people want to contact me and tell me what they don’t want to do (like hitting me up at 12 midnight after I drove for 6 hours thru the rain, and want to fucking tell ME he doesn’t want to send a deposit 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

And this same person last contacted me August 2022. So now, NOW…I have to get out of bed at midnight and void my deposit policy to service your dick emergency out the blue? Fuck you! lol. I was nice to him, but I blacklisted his ass to high hell and I hope nobody has to deal with his shit. 

Meanwhile I have another client who I’m about to straight up tell him: “I met you on same day notice LAST time on Black Friday, I’m not doing it again. He needs to get his shit together, I don’t give a shit if you’re married or not, but I’m not about to be running around hosting at the last minute if you can’t plan at least a day ahead. It’s inconsiderate and rude to think you can barge into my schedule, but be endlessly busy when I try to get them to schedule anything when it’s convenient for me.

And in the same tone, I got so sick of asking around clients earlier this month trying to get them to book after they requested a visit from me. I’m not putting effort anymore if they can’t be bothered to show up. The bullshit is tiring and depressing. Why the fuck I spend $79, $39, and $30 a month (across 3 different websites) to deal with this shit is a disgrace 😤 

He (the potential client) should understand we can't always get what we want and he should have made up his mind before... texting you about getting together NOW knowing you're 90 mins away at 12:15 AM.... Dude, jerk off and go to bed, that's what I would have told him. 

[marylander1940]

5 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

 

I know it probably sounds like a rehearsed topic, but the truth of the matter is: sometimes I just don’t always have the capacity to take on the nonsense. I mean, I been actually having a pretty good December…I met my fit, Santa Claus appearing client earlier this month, and then a couple great new clients on tour. So I’m not complaining. Unfortunately I had to cut it short due to health reasons, and the holiday was close and I know business always slows down the 23rd-26th when family plans start brewing.

But I don’t always have the capacity for rejection. Or random going nowhere messages. I’m not always “on” and ready to be a bubbly escort. Sometimes I just want people to book and show up. In fact I was having a good two weeks of clients booking things very perfectly: no issues confirming, scheduling times.
 

But I head back home because it’s close to the holiday, and people start giving me the run around. It just put me in an off frame of mind. Like for example, a dude was texting me last weekend:

 

 

I’m in green…but, it’s stuff like this. I know it seems like cordial conversation but, he might as well not even contacted me at all if he was so busy with plans that had nothing to do with me. I was literally available all day long Saturday, and half day Sunday…he could have made some effort to show up.
 

That’s why I feel getting paid to handle client inquiries, is reasonable for me. I could have done without knowing he didn’t have as much time as he alluded to, despite saying he could do Saturday, Sunday or Tuesday 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

He forgot he had to pick up family.... wow! What a lame excuse!