I know it’s the holidays, but I wish I could tell clients how I feel….

[Ali Gator]

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

He forgot he had to pick up family.... wow! What a lame excuse!

Maybe this was sprung on him last minute ?  I know I had 'free time' booked for myself this past Friday / Saturday (Dec 22-23) and was looking at ads to book some 'fun time', and my free time suddenly filled up with last minute changes due to it being a 'holiday weekend'. I went from having 48 hours of 'very little to do' and having 'me time' before the holiday, to running around doing errands for others and pitching in where I could. I'm certain I'm not the only one - and providers (in any service business) should realize it's the nature of the beast. 

 

I have a part-time job on Sundays, and my schedule is usually 'set'. However, when I accepted this job, I also agreed to filling in on weekend shifts should someone call out and they are short-staffed. The rule is that my manager has to give me three hours notice. 

Plenty of times, when I am scheduling (in advance by a few days) a provider on a Saturday or Sunday evening, I will let them know I will  confirm a few hours prior, and explain that I am 'on call' for the weekend (easiest way to explain), so I may be called in and will have to reschedule with them. I also encourage them to fill my appointment with someone else, if they want to be assured of an appointment for that time and I will reschedule.  99% of the time this works out fine. If a provider isn't understanding with this, I simply cancel the appointment altogether. 

[Thomas_Belgium]

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

He forgot he had to pick up family.... wow! What a lame excuse!

 

Those travel plans probably were made months ago.

 

Jarrod, I'm sure this pandemic will only get worse in the future.

[marylander1940]

43 minutes ago, Ali Gator said:

Maybe this was sprung on him last minute ?  I know I had 'free time' booked for myself this past Friday / Saturday (Dec 22-23) and was looking at ads to book some 'fun time', and my free time suddenly filled up with last minute changes due to it being a 'holiday weekend'. I went from having 48 hours of 'very little to do' and having 'me time' before the holiday, to running around doing errands for others and pitching in where I could. I'm certain I'm not the only one - and providers (in any service business) should realize it's the nature of the beast. 

 

I have a part-time job on Sundays, and my schedule is usually 'set'. However, when I accepted this job, I also agreed to filling in on weekend shifts should someone call out and they are short-staffed. The rule is that my manager has to give me three hours notice. 

Plenty of times, when I am scheduling (in advance by a few days) a provider on a Saturday or Sunday evening, I will let them know I will  confirm a few hours prior, and explain that I am 'on call' for the weekend (easiest way to explain), so I may be called in and will have to reschedule with them. I also encourage them to fill my appointment with someone else, if they want to be assured of an appointment for that time and I will reschedule.  99% of the time this works out fine. If a provider isn't understanding with this, I simply cancel the appointment altogether. 

yes but reality matters.... the escort is 90 minutes away and it's 12:15, I'm sorry but it's not going to happen. 

Everybody confirms within the same day, that goes both sides. 

[marylander1940]

43 minutes ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

 

Those travel plans probably were made months ago.

 

 

Exactly my point! 

Edited December 28, 2023 by marylander1940

[Ali Gator]

2 hours ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

 

Those travel plans probably were made months ago.

Sorry, but the best made plans are never concrete. We don't know if those plans were interrupted, delayed or postponed (for a myriad of reasons, including weather and illness). You have to allow for such - especially on a holiday weekend.   

[Ali Gator]

Quote

But at the same time, by having a dedicated studio and work hours: I can see it not being “required” to need a deposit…she is basically just showing up to work on a set schedule, versus commuting to different areas or hosting out of a hotel or her own private space.

The bottom line (no matter where she or you are providing the personal service) is losing time. Time is money, and when customers are 'no shows' or 'last minute cancellations' - its a loss of time neither of you will ever get back. (Working out of a hotel, home or clients space is the nature of your business - and you must make professional allowances for that. On the flip side, she has her monthly overhead expenses of having a studio space to work in, and she must make professional allowances for that). 

[Thelatin]

It’s the same in any sales business.  I can spend hours answering questions, certain I’m getting the sale…and then nothing.

[jeezifonly]

[Ali Gator]

3 hours ago, Thelatin said:

It’s the same in any sales business.  I can spend hours answering questions, certain I’m getting the sale…and then nothing.

Last weekend a cousin of mine who has been selling real estate for the past 12 years told me she is leaving the business this weekend (she has a final closing on Friday). She's a single mom, and she just can't do it any more. She schedules appointments seven days a week to look at homes, condos, or apartment rentals. She's at their beck and call - meeting at times which is convenient for the client but not necessarily for her...but she wants the sale or rental commission. She drives all over the state no matter the weather, in hopes she'll close a deal. It doesn't always happen...

She explained to us the number of 'no shows' she gets, or the time she spends with buyers (months) looking for something - then they get cold feet when they find something they like and in their budget - and back out of the purchase with a lame excuse. She moves mountains trying to make a sale close, and then she finds out the mortgage falls through (the buyer lied on their finances). It's really wearing on her physical health and mental health - so she will be looking for a full time job, rather than commission-driven (and she's had some great years in the past 12, but she just can't do it anymore) . She has enough saved to live off the next few months, so she wants to focus in on what she would like to do full time (at the age of 53). 

 

[DWnyc]

21 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

For me, the consultation is basically prioritizing an inquiry

I don’t think I waste new providers’ time with unnecessary back and forth but maybe some do. However,  if I have to pay for the privilege of working out if I should pay him that alone would rule them out for me.

At what point can we acknowledge there is a time and effective cost in making a potential sale which may or not come through? 

 

 

Edited December 29, 2023 by DWnyc

[jmichaeliii]

I know some clients don't like the approach, but I much prefer when a provider sends their menu when you reach out to them.  The ones that have done that for me answer most of my questions and confirm whether I want an appointment or not.   I get frustrated when I lead with the statement that I want to set an appointment, then I ask for rates and whether they host or outcall, and get completely blown off after.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

19 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

He (the potential client) should understand we can't always get what we want and he should have made up his mind before... texting you about getting together NOW knowing you're 90 mins away at 12:15 AM.... Dude, jerk off and go to bed, that's what I would have told him. 

Lol no: I wasn’t 90 minutes away. I meant, if I went to see him it would be automatically charged as a 90 minute appointment, after midnight price. Mainly because it was like 20 minutes to get there, plus 20 minutes to get home equals 40 minutes. Add + the hour session, woulda been 90 minutes anyway. 

18 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

Maybe this was sprung on him last minute ?  I know I had 'free time' booked for myself this past Friday / Saturday (Dec 22-23) and was looking at ads to book some 'fun time', and my free time suddenly filled up with last minute changes due to it being a 'holiday weekend'. I went from having 48 hours of 'very little to do' and having 'me time' before the holiday, to running around doing errands for others and pitching in where I could. I'm certain I'm not the only one - and providers (in any service business) should realize it's the nature of the beast. 

 

I have a part-time job on Sundays, and my schedule is usually 'set'. However, when I accepted this job, I also agreed to filling in on weekend shifts should someone call out and they are short-staffed. The rule is that my manager has to give me three hours notice. 

Plenty of times, when I am scheduling (in advance by a few days) a provider on a Saturday or Sunday evening, I will let them know I will  confirm a few hours prior, and explain that I am 'on call' for the weekend (easiest way to explain), so I may be called in and will have to reschedule with them. I also encourage them to fill my appointment with someone else, if they want to be assured of an appointment for that time and I will reschedule.  99% of the time this works out fine. If a provider isn't understanding with this, I simply cancel the appointment altogether. 

Well that’s good you’re honest about your situation. However, I feel not everyone is.

As for the other guy, he might have been serious and genuine: but will see. However  people need to not give an array of available days unless they are willing to STICK to them. Don’t tell me you’re free Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesday: but then come back and say only free after Christmas dinner on Monday. In order for me to meet him, I woulda had to disregard my own family plans. Ummm, no. He shoulda just been reliable instead of giving me the run around. 
 

If his family is that much more important to him (which I’m sure they are) then…there’s no need to be reaching out to me then. Why do I want to feel like someone’s option, when they can’t even be bothered to make me a priority. It’s insulting. It takes one hour to fuck. Yet he has hours to spend driving to the airport and getting drinks, and of course no invitation? Wtf, it’s just rude and it’s the stuff I talk about that irks me 🤷🏾‍♂️ 

Luckily that night that he left me hanging, I went and met someone who did invite me out for drinks, and sucked me off 😆 Sometimes I just don’t have the capacity to tolerate fake and phony behavior every day I pick up the phone. I deal with that shit, too much sometimes. It goes beyond just a business or a sale: it’s like no: show some respect for the person you’re propositioning sex from 🤦🏾‍♂️ Please ✋🏾 

15 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

Sorry, but the best made plans are never concrete. We don't know if those plans were interrupted, delayed or postponed (for a myriad of reasons, including weather and illness). You have to allow for such - especially on a holiday weekend.   

That’s why I don’t care to do bookings around holidays. I’ve caught a break this week and booked some people in: but like DeJa Vu: I’m cutting the phone lines Sunday night, going into New Year’s Eve. But I think Nye is more a sex holiday than family Christmas but…people are still going to be trying to get freebie sex I think, where they can. I think I even read elsewhere: NYE and Valentines can be the hardest days to sell because people be trying to get laid for a bottle of champagne lol.

10 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

Last weekend a cousin of mine who has been selling real estate for the past 12 years told me she is leaving the business this weekend (she has a final closing on Friday). She's a single mom, and she just can't do it any more. She schedules appointments seven days a week to look at homes, condos, or apartment rentals. She's at their beck and call - meeting at times which is convenient for the client but not necessarily for her...but she wants the sale or rental commission. She drives all over the state no matter the weather, in hopes she'll close a deal. It doesn't always happen...

She explained to us the number of 'no shows' she gets, or the time she spends with buyers (months) looking for something - then they get cold feet when they find something they like and in their budget - and back out of the purchase with a lame excuse. She moves mountains trying to make a sale close, and then she finds out the mortgage falls through (the buyer lied on their finances). It's really wearing on her physical health and mental health - so she will be looking for a full time job, rather than commission-driven (and she's had some great years in the past 12, but she just can't do it anymore) . She has enough saved to live off the next few months, so she wants to focus in on what she would like to do full time (at the age of 53). 

 

Yikes. Well, I have been overhearing about the real estate game and how strategic it can be. I know a lot of sex worker/bartending/stripper guys often tout they are going into real estate. I’m sure the money is lucrative but, the real estate market never mentions how tactful you have to be. It’s a math and a science, and takes a lot of in person and field work. But of course, the payoff is bigger. A $40,000-$50,000 check is a life changer. $300-$400 is nice but, some days it’s still not enough to make ends. Or it makes ends for the day/week but can go fast if not enough clients are booking and being serious.

 

Edited December 29, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Ali Gator]

Quote

Yikes. Well, I have been overhearing about the real estate game and how strategic it can be. I know a lot of sex worker/bartending/stripper guys often tout they are going into real estate. 

Me, too! They think going from escorting (as well as stripping and bartending) to becoming a realtor is the end-all. They will make megabucks because they're handsome and hot - and who wouldn't want to list with them ? Sure - that's the easy part: Getting the listing based on your charm, looks, and sexy body.  You can build a lucrative gay clientele, no doubt.

Then comes the reality - dedicating yourself for months trying to sell that property and not giving up your career when the whole deal blows up in your face three months later. You don't get your time back. Then you deal with the wrath of the seller wanting to know why the deal fell apart.

And it gets uglier from there...

 

[Thomas_Belgium]

22 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

Sorry, but the best made plans are never concrete. We don't know if those plans were interrupted, delayed or postponed (for a myriad of reasons, including weather and illness). You have to allow for such - especially on a holiday weekend.   

 

True, I don't know that. What I certainly 100% know for true is: you book on a specific date, place, time & pay a deposit.

[Medin]

It sounds like you're due for a career change.  Don't stay in a position you don't enjoy.   All of us are faced with similar situations in our positions or industries.   A friend of mine deals with high-end banking clients all day and he says about 75% never show up for scheduling meetings.   I'm always punctual to the minute and have had plenty of providers be pissed that I showed up on time!

[jmichaeliii]

9 minutes ago, Medin said:

It sounds like you're due for a career change.  Don't stay in a position you don't enjoy.   All of us are faced with similar situations in our positions or industries.   A friend of mine deals with high-end banking clients all day and he says about 75% never show up for scheduling meetings.   I'm always punctual to the minute and have had plenty of providers be pissed that I showed up on time!

Why is that they get pisssed when you are on time?  I've had that happen to me too.  I always try to be at the location early and let the provider know to text me when they are ready.

[Medin]

2 hours ago, jmichaeliii said:

Why is that they get pisssed when you are on time?  I've had that happen to me too.  I always try to be at the location early and let the provider know to text me when they are ready.

Good question.   I don't get it either.  

[Mydavid]

10 hours ago, jmichaeliii said:

I always try to be at the location early and let the provider know to text me when they are ready.

That's what I always do too. And I always text them to tell them what time I will arrive when I go to them.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

20 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

Me, too! They think going from escorting (as well as stripping and bartending) to becoming a realtor is the end-all. They will make megabucks because they're handsome and hot - and who wouldn't want to list with them ? Sure - that's the easy part: Getting the listing based on your charm, looks, and sexy body.  You can build a lucrative gay clientele, no doubt.

Then comes the reality - dedicating yourself for months trying to sell that property and not giving up your career when the whole deal blows up in your face three months later. You don't get your time back. Then you deal with the wrath of the seller wanting to know why the deal fell apart.

And it gets uglier from there...

 

 

My Gawd. I can only imagine. I think that’s why there are many real estate gurus out there, who teach on how to sell etc etc. I actually have a relative who wrote a book on the subject. 

But I feel sex work is for the most part: is meant to be sought after, without the need for concentrated selling programs. Either the person wants to pay for play, or not. I’m not about to be spending 3 months trying to figure that out. The only effort to sell is the rate: and it’s an easy 1 hour commitment. Of course there’s various strategies around rates…but for the most part, it’s straightforward.
 

16 hours ago, Medin said:

It sounds like you're due for a career change.  Don't stay in a position you don't enjoy.   All of us are faced with similar situations in our positions or industries.   A friend of mine deals with high-end banking clients all day and he says about 75% never show up for scheduling meetings.   I'm always punctual to the minute and have had plenty of providers be pissed that I showed up on time!

You could be right but, it’s bigger than that even. I enjoy the career, I just don’t enjoy the ones who treat providers like an option, while prioritizing everything else. I know it can be compared to every other biz: but the difference is the sex component involved. 

I think I would enjoy it more, if I was in a position to have the luxury to wait for more people to come along. 

[Guest]

No-shows and flakes are endemic in the service industry generally. I suspect it’s much more so for SW due to societal views that it’s illicit/disreputable and because many prospective clients have vulnerabilities that interfere with making the commitment: shame, fear, insecurity, infidelity, anxiousness, etc. Moreover, if the client views the engagement as illicit, he won’t respect the provider (because he doesn’t respect himself). And anonymity eliminates accountability. Regrettably, in this equation the provider bears all the risk. It’s not right, but it’s true.

If I cancel a dental or medical appointment, I get charged a no-show fee. If I skip out on my real estate agent or lawyer, I suffer reputational harm. If I flake on my provider (assuming he’s not a regular) the only repercussion is that I won’t be able to book again with that provider. And if I don’t respect the provider (because I don’t respect myself), I’m not going to consider the consequences to the provider.

Frankly, I don’t think this imbalance changes until attitudes and laws about SW change. So, it seems to me (from the client perspective) that a provider’s only option to mitigate risk is to cultivate a trusted client base and request deposits from new clients. (I know this is controversial and I’m not intending to re-open that discussion).

Of course, there are many clients who understand and appreciate the importance of SW, are unburdened by misguided attitudes about sex and SW, and value providers. I hope I’m one of them. But sadly there are many who don’t. I wish you did not have to deal with this.

[Luv2play]

On 12/28/2023 at 5:50 PM, Ali Gator said:

Last weekend a cousin of mine who has been selling real estate for the past 12 years told me she is leaving the business this weekend (she has a final closing on Friday). She's a single mom, and she just can't do it any more. She schedules appointments seven days a week to look at homes, condos, or apartment rentals. She's at their beck and call - meeting at times which is convenient for the client but not necessarily for her...but she wants the sale or rental commission. She drives all over the state no matter the weather, in hopes she'll close a deal. It doesn't always happen...

She explained to us the number of 'no shows' she gets, or the time she spends with buyers (months) looking for something - then they get cold feet when they find something they like and in their budget - and back out of the purchase with a lame excuse. She moves mountains trying to make a sale close, and then she finds out the mortgage falls through (the buyer lied on their finances). It's really wearing on her physical health and mental health - so she will be looking for a full time job, rather than commission-driven (and she's had some great years in the past 12, but she just can't do it anymore) . She has enough saved to live off the next few months, so she wants to focus in on what she would like to do full time (at the age of 53). 

 

I can match your story with my last experience with a real estate agent who sucked big time. But I will spare you the details. Just to say it goes both ways. 

[Thomas_Belgium]

On 12/30/2023 at 3:06 PM, Km411 said:

No-shows and flakes are endemic in the service industry generally....

 

In my opinion it's not an endemic but a pandemic.

[blck37]

Think I might have read this all wrong....is the underlying topic be not getting dined out?

[Thomas_Belgium]

On 12/24/2023 at 11:14 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

...I just feel so unappreciated and undervalued...

 

If this happens too much, it could be the start of a burn out. These guys won't care & are probably looking for the next victim they can use for their unrealistic instant satisfaction addiction.

[DWnyc]

3 hours ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

 

If this happens too much, it could be the start of a burn out. These guys won't care & are probably looking for the next victim they can use for their unrealistic instant satisfaction addiction.

Those in the hobby that we discuss here aren’t victims, they participate voluntarily. This is not child or female trafficking etc. 

Whatever might be unrealistic about clients’ expectations is made real by providers who can fulfill those or at least try to, and they are compensated at mutually agreed rates.

If providers want to work less (including in sales efforts) and still get the same rates or more … or if clients want to pay less and get the same service or more … either side has the freedom to walk away.

Simple as that.