Asking a client for a face pic.

[+ JamesB]

5 hours ago, DznNYC said:

I don't think there's been a more widely covered topic here, but it's a hot one!   So I feel like it's worth re-weighing in.

Reasons I will never ask a client for a photo:

• At no point do I ever want him to feel up for evaluation.  Like it or not, just like on any other app, this is the headspace you create when you send a photo.  You're an anonymous faceless person, then you send a photo revealing your face, then you wait for approval.  Yes, you're attractive enough to meet, or not you're not.  By that point you've already spiraled:  Is my provider into me?  Am I attractive enough for him?  You're already in that self-conscious worried headspace. This is exactly what you're meant to avoid when hiring a sex worker. 
• Discretion is one of the sacred promises of sex work.  If a prospective client doesn't want to put a photo of himself out into the world in a looking-for-sex context, that's what he's paying for.  That's his prerogative.  Is it that risky to send face photos to providers?  Probably not.  But that's the client's call.  He gets to decide what discretion means to him.

Of course, lots of men who hire prefer to share photos in advance.  They want all parties to know who and what to expect, and that also makes complete sense.   But as the client, that's their choice to make.  For my own personal safety concerns, I require a cell phone number to meet, not a photo.  A phone number adds a level of safety for me.  A photo does not. 

All that said, I get why providers ask for photos.  Meeting a new client for the first time is always a source of at least some anxiety.  The services we provide are extraordinarily intimate, and you really never know who's going to open that door when you knock on it.  In fact, I had that moment just this weekend with a new client.  Sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for him, no idea his age, race, body type.  It can indeed be an unsettling moment!  But when you're a provider with a certain minimal level of experience, you know you can work with any age, race, or body type, and none of it truly matters.  

Everyone is entitled to ask for what they need to get the job done.  But pay attention to the ask!  It can be a larger indicator about the provider you're hiring.  

 

This is a shining example of the way a genuine professional provider’s mind operates.