Asking a client for a face pic.

[+ SirBillybob]

40 minutes ago, newdad said:

They're in the wrong business then. They're basically looking for Tinder matches and wanting to get paid at the same time. They can't have their cake and eat it too. Even Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman never asked for a face pic.

Absofuckinglutely!

[+ Pensant]

On 12/5/2023 at 10:59 PM, Vin_Marco said:

I don't know about others but I can gather A LOT of information about someone by a simple phone conversation. 

Bingo! I always ask for a phone conversation before meeting a new provider and we both agree that it was a wise thing to do. Better than a pic. Even early 20’s guys will agree to it.

[Newtdad]

On 12/17/2023 at 12:11 PM, arnemgreeves said:

It's an escort's right really to ask for a pic. Though of course more people coming means more money overall. And tbh, even if a client isn't dirty, smelly or rude, it might be a stretch to fuck them if they aren't ordinarily the type a person goes for. Most escorts are above average in looks, and generally hot people chose to date hot people (it's not absolute but it's very common and most do this). 

Yes, they do have a right to ask for a pic because there are no laws saying it is illegal. Same thing when someone asks for your salary; they can ask it because it's not an illegal question.

"generally hot people chose to date hot people" -- Yes, and as you pointed out: it's when they want to date. Escorting is hiring a sex provider, and is not about dating. It's a business transaction after all.

Nonetheless, Either party can withdraw from the business if they don't feel engaging with each other.

 

[StarQualityLuke]

Well... My take is, a security and safety... But I know some others just want "hot clients".. Asking for a pic to judge someone, no that is not fair, however for safety it's viable. 

 

 

[Gandalf]

If they're screening on looks, they should have the balls to just say so and describe in their ad who is good enough for them to fuck.  

[DWnyc]

On 12/17/2023 at 3:11 PM, arnemgreeves said:

It's an escort's right really to ask for a pic. Though of course more people coming means more money overall. And tbh, even if a client isn't dirty, smelly or rude, it might be a stretch to fuck them if they aren't ordinarily the type a person goes for. Most escorts are above average in looks, and generally hot people chose to date hot people (it's not absolute but it's very common and most do this). 

How can a provider tell if a client is “dirty, smelly or rude” from a picture?

 

[DWnyc]

20 minutes ago, Gandalf said:

If they're screening on looks, they should have the balls to just say so and describe in their ad who is good enough for them to fuck.  

They know that will make them look like an asshole to those who would make the cut for them on their criteria, but who are also good people. 

Have met several providers who say something like “open to all races / ages / body types etc” on their profile but have said to me (and I’m sure put in practice) that there’s no way they would engage with XYZ demographic … no different from people virtue signaling in online dating profiles saying similar things but in practice having clear boundaries based on such criteria. Which is fine hypocrisy aside  .. but … if you’re a provider, don’t expect the professional respect you say you crave if that’s the way you visibly operate based on documented behavior.

[Guest]

13 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

if you’re a provider, don’t expect the professional respect you say you crave if that’s the way you visibly operate based on documented behavior.

 🏆  

[DWnyc]

On 12/18/2023 at 10:10 PM, StarQualityLuke said:

Well... My take is, a security and safety... But I know some others just want "hot clients".. Asking for a pic to judge someone, no that is not fair, however for safety it's viable. 

 

 

Are we saying we can tell if we will be safe with someone looking at their photo, or are we saying we need evidence in case of a future situation - or leverage for something more sinister? 

[StarQualityLuke]

10 hours ago, DWnyc said:

Are we saying we can tell if we will be safe with someone looking at their photo, or are we saying we need evidence in case of a future situation - or leverage for something more sinister? 

You are correct, you can't tell if they're gonna be safe or not seriously, some very good-looking people are dangerous, some very unattractive people can be dangerous. It's just a safety precaution seeing who's coming to your home. If you have a security detail in tow, then they know who is at your home. 

I certainly don't judge clients on their looks----- ever! That would not be fair, even though clients judge us on our looks, but that's ok, you're the one that's hiring.  But I do know I've talked to some other Masseurs and they say they only want buff and ripped gorgeous men on their table to me, I'm like good luck with that.  Everyone is entitled to a massage 😁 

 I don't know about other masseurs, what their idea behind  asking for a face picture is..... I have just heard so many terrible things about other therapists that don't do the job, etc.   

Edited December 21, 2023 by StarQualityLuke

[JMatt]

There's no way asking a client to send a face pic has anything to do with their security.  They have the discretion, at any point in the setup, to cut something off if they don't feel secure.  Having the photo of the person standing at their door waiting to be let in for the appointment doesn't increase security.  And for clients who are being discreet, sending a face pic, with technology that is available on the internet, is abandoning discretion.  

For every provider who thinks he's hot enough to dictate the terms, there are a dozen who are much better at giving the intimacy and comfort I'm looking for without the added complications.  

[NYXboy]

2 hours ago, JMatt said:

There's no way asking a client to send a face pic has anything to do with their security. 

I don't think this is actually true. 

If you are a bad actor who wants to rob/rape/hurt a provider and they have a photo of you, and you KNOW they have a photo of you, I think it is a influential factor as to whether you still want to do or that or not.

I think there are other ways of getting an identity or being able to track a client but a photo is pretty quick and to the point way. I know when I send my face pic providers do seem to feel more comfortable with me. 

Edited Thursday at 06:37 AM by NYXboy

[+ JamesB]

12 hours ago, NYXboy said:

If you are a bad actor who wants to rob/rape/hurt a provider and they have a photo of you

You’d think that if someone planned to “rob/rape/hurt a provider”, the last thing they’d do is send their real photo.

[NYXboy]

1 hour ago, JamesB said:

You’d think that if someone planned to “rob/rape/hurt a provider”, the last thing they’d do is send their real photo.

very true!

I guess you'd see it's not them when they ring the intercom? I have never robbed someone so I'm not sure exactly of the planning required. I'm just stating that I can understand that pics can be requested for security purposes. I see female providers as well and I have yet to see one who not only requests, but requires it for this purpose. 

Once I had a female friend ask me to come over her place and work from home at her place for the day as she was getting furniture delivered and she didn't want to be home alone when strange men were going to come in. At first I thought she was crazy - but after thinking it over, it made sense. Someone else may be or feel vulnerable in a situation that I myself would not be.

Providers really put themselves out there in this sense. Some will be more comfortable doing it than others, ,or need extra steps to make them feel safe. 

Edited Thursday at 06:21 PM by NYXboy

[+ KensingtonHomo]

14 hours ago, JMatt said:

There's no way asking a client to send a face pic has anything to do with their security.  They have the discretion, at any point in the setup, to cut something off if they don't feel secure.  Having the photo of the person standing at their door waiting to be let in for the appointment doesn't increase security.  And for clients who are being discreet, sending a face pic, with technology that is available on the internet, is abandoning discretion.  

For every provider who thinks he's hot enough to dictate the terms, there are a dozen who are much better at giving the intimacy and comfort I'm looking for without the added complications.  

Do you let strangers into your home? I don't. I wouldn't even accept a hook-up from Grindr without a face pic. Because I'm not opening my door to someone I don't know. The idea that escorts should abandon that basic security measure is wild.

Some of you seem to think that an escort having your face pic is damning evidence that you've broken the law. It's not. If you have a LinkedIn or Facebook profile, there's a public face pic of you out there. If it ever came up that an escort had it, well, it's public. Anyone could have it. 

I also note that this tends to correlate with people who can't or don't want to host. It seems to me that your "discretion" likely results from you stepping out on your partner/spouse without their knowledge. That's really the issue. And, as someone who cares a great deal about consent, having sex with people other than your partner without their knowledge is unethical. 

[DMonDude]

6 minutes ago, NYXboy said:

Once I had a female friend ask me to come over her place and work from home at her place for the day as she was getting furniture delivered and she didn't want to be home alone when strange men were going to come in. At first I thought she was crazy - but after thinking it over, it made sense. Someone else may be or feel vulnerable in a situation that I myself would not be.

Providers really put themselves out there in this sense. Some will be more comfortable doing it than others, ,or need extra steps to make them feel safe.

Definitely true, that's kind of the male privilege we have in society. A scenario like that doesn't usually clock as dangerous to us at all. But things like that are entirely different for women and they have to have a much greater sense of "danger can be around any corner" than we ever do. They have to go through life treating every gun (man) like it's loaded (dangerous) so to speak.

Going off of this. I've noticed it's pretty common these days for younger guys who do Grindr/Sniffies hookups to send a close friend the profile photo, phone number, and address of the guy's house they're going to and a directive of "if i don't text you by the morning call the police". That kind of thing was already becoming more normal as a number of really unfortunate attacks/robberies of gay/bi men via Grindr/hookup apps got news attention, and then especially after that Jeffrey Dahmer Netflix series came out and freaked people out.

So i think the younger providers asking clients for photos, while probably they want to get a sense of how "manageable" you are in the attractiveness sense as some suggested, it's also probably part of a "if i don't text you by tomorrow call the police" kit they're sending to a friend. It's not a preemptive "he looks unsafe" judgement like others up thread said, it's more likely a "in case the worst happens here's some evidence to hopefully find me and who did it" measure.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

20 minutes ago, NYXboy said:

I see female providers as well and I have yet to see one who not only requests, but requires it for this purpose. 

 

This is 💯. I know female providers. Any quality woman escort has a lot more requirements and costs 3-5 times what man does. And it's exactly because it's much more dangerous. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 minute ago, DMonDude said:

I've noticed it's pretty common these days for younger guys who do Grindr/Sniffies hookups to send a close friend the profile photo, phone number, and address of the guy's house they're going to and a directive of "if i don't text you by the morning call the police".

In my "ho" phase, which was mostly before social media, I always sent the name, phone number and address of whoever I was meeting to a friend. I'd been SA'd twice before college, so I needed a backup. 

[Mark_fl]

When I get a commitment from a provider and have selected a time and date, I will gladly set up a call or send a pic.

If I want a stress-free experience, I will make it as stress free as possible for them as well.

[StarQualityLuke]

Basically, if you're traveling into a business building, then I don't see a reason for a face picture, I ask for a face picture just for security alone and just to see who I'm communicating with, I don't think that's anything harmful at all.   Heck, even some guys send me their picture before I even ask.  Now, if they say they don't feel comfortable sending, then I don't force them or ask them anymore. I say not a problem, then I just ask them to tell me about themselves.   I like to get to know the client a little bit before they come to my door, or I go to their door. Again, I don't think there's anything harmful in that. 

 

Also, getting to know the client makes them feel more comfortable as well as you, and I think that's a good thing. 

But that is just my opinion, we all have them 😁

[Constantine]

I occasionally have providers ask for a selfie. I use that vanishing feature on whatsapp where they only get to see the pic once. In my experience it's usually models who ask for client pics. They're likely more selective about who they see.

[Braziliancutee]

If some client don’t want send that’s ok. But i always like to ask how old and your height. 
but tbh the hottest client I had didn’t sent me his pic. If they are looking for escorts is bc they want to be discreet. But of course I always need to know if they are scam or not.

[Whoisyourdaddy]

RM allows you to delete your picture after the provider sees it. (That's how I usually send my picture to them.)

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 11/19/2025 at 9:45 PM, JMatt said:

For every provider who thinks he's hot enough to dictate the terms, there are a dozen who are much better at giving the intimacy and comfort I'm looking for without the added complications.  

This. Picky providers don't seem to realize that supply and demand isn't on their side. When I get asked for a pic, there's usually at least 50 guys in a 20 mile radius currently available.

I don't know about RM, but SA estimated there's 8 wanna be male sugar babies for every 1 sugar daddy with money. Good providers understand those economics; new kids always seem to think they're the exception until they learn the hard way.

Edited Friday at 01:54 PM by DrownedBoy
Their they're

[DznNYC]

I don't think there's been a more widely covered topic here, but it's a hot one!   So I feel like it's worth re-weighing in.

Reasons I will never ask a client for a photo:

• At no point do I ever want him to feel up for evaluation.  Like it or not, just like on any other app, this is the headspace you create when you send a photo.  You're an anonymous faceless person, then you send a photo revealing your face, then you wait for approval.  Yes, you're attractive enough to meet, or not you're not.  By that point you've already spiraled:  Is my provider into me?  Am I attractive enough for him?  You're already in that self-conscious worried headspace. This is exactly what you're meant to avoid when hiring a sex worker. 
• Discretion is one of the sacred promises of sex work.  If a prospective client doesn't want to put a photo of himself out into the world in a looking-for-sex context, that's what he's paying for.  That's his prerogative.  Is it that risky to send face photos to providers?  Probably not.  But that's the client's call.  He gets to decide what discretion means to him.

Of course, lots of men who hire prefer to share photos in advance.  They want all parties to know who and what to expect, and that also makes complete sense.   But as the client, that's their choice to make.  For my own personal safety concerns, I require a cell phone number to meet, not a photo.  A phone number adds a level of safety for me.  A photo does not. 

All that said, I get why providers ask for photos.  Meeting a new client for the first time is always a source of at least some anxiety.  The services we provide are extraordinarily intimate, and you really never know who's going to open that door when you knock on it.  In fact, I had that moment just this weekend with a new client.  Sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for him, no idea his age, race, body type.  It can indeed be an unsettling moment!  But when you're a provider with a certain minimal level of experience, you know you can work with any age, race, or body type, and none of it truly matters.  

Everyone is entitled to ask for what they need to get the job done.  But pay attention to the ask!  It can be a larger indicator about the provider you're hiring.