Assuming escorts are always hosting…

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Where does this notion come from? I had to explain to someone yesterday after he got all flustered that if I hosted, he would need to meet me out front of the hotel before I book it, if he’s going to want to meet without a deposit AND at my base rate:

 

 

It’s like no…and I was using a hypothetical worst case scenario statement if I were to book a hotel that’s at least half decent for hosting this one client.
 

Another scenario last week was the same where I was posting in a nearby town about a hour away, that I could offer appointments to. Client reaches out to me, calls me, leaves voicemail, texting he wants to meet: but then upon further discussion, even though he’s apparently hosting, he doesn’t want to because his “dog doesn’t like strangers”. 
 

It’s like, what the hell? So I would be driving that distance but I must also get a room to host? And on same day notice without a deposit at that (because some people love to tell me they’ve never had to pay one before…which I find is pointless to bring up because: if there’s only 1 or 2 ads in a small town, of course they wouldn’t. Those 1 or 2 you might of reached out to, don’t speak for every escort in the country)

It’s not like I am hosting by default at all times. I also don’t want to imply I can’t host by saying no incalls or that I don’t host. But even if I say “hosting not always available” there’s always people who don’t read the ads and assume I am when I’m not. 

[+ nycman]

[bigdipper]

I always ask up front about the provider hosting so there are no surprises there. 

[+ Coolwave35]

46 minutes ago, bigdipper said:

I always ask up front about the provider hosting so there are no surprises there. 

I read your name as big diaper and thought you were a fat ass bottom. 

[Lazarus]

I usually assume that most escorts that are visiting NYC from out of town are staying at a hotel & hosting. I’m not sure if that is realistic elsewhere. 

[Luv2play]

2 hours ago, Lazarus said:

I usually assume that most escorts that are visiting NYC from out of town are staying at a hotel & hosting. I’m not sure if that is realistic elsewhere. 

That's the case also in most Canadian cities where escorts travel to. That is the larger cities such as Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver. They usually stay a long weekend or a week or so if very popular. 

Having one overnight client will defray the entire cost of the 3 day weekend and the rest is gravy. 

[+ José Soplanucas]

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 7/1/2023 at 10:47 PM, Luv2play said:

That's the case also in most Canadian cities where escorts travel to. That is the larger cities such as Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver. They usually stay a long weekend or a week or so if very popular. 

Having one overnight client will defray the entire cost of the 3 day weekend and the rest is gravy. 

Speculatively…if that actually happened it would be great. But in the case of the city I was, that was not happening. Considering I didn’t have any deposits or confirmed serious bookings received, getting a hotel waiting for potential clients would have been a waiting game at my expense. I wasn’t trying to do that. If and when I had an incall client, was when I’d arrange a room for the day/night. 

I have done tours where I didn’t have to pay for a hotel majority of the time, either because all the clients hosted or I had friends in the area who I could stay with, and only do Outcalls. 

I know it sounds petty but, the host/can’t host issue can be a challenge. Sometimes I’ll get invited on trips by friends but someone will say, “you can’t host in the air bnb but you can do outcalls”. I tell them: that’s not going to work because majority of clients are going to need me to host. 
 

My whole thing: yes I know typically escorts are going to be in hotels hosting. But, people assume things that were never stated. When I went to New Orleans couple months ago, I didn’t get a hotel until the day I had a client. Before that, I was at friend’s air bnb. If someone reached out and asked if I could host prior to the confirmed client I had, I would have had to say no. 
 

But even with the client mentioned: I offered to host him 2 additional days, and he couldn’t follow thru. Almost seemed like he got an attitude just because I couldn’t readily host. That’s why I said: if he wants to pay for a room, by all means. But if it’s on my dime, it’s going to be the place I want to stay when it’s available.

I’ve played the “stay in a hotel and be available” game more than enough times. I did that in Houston not long ago, was a complete waste. 2 days of hotel and nobody showed up. Luckily I paid with points but, that could have been used elsewhere. 
 

Some people just need to be educated and stop living in a false reality stereotype of Rent guys and what they “THINK” we are doing. No bro, you don’t know nothing about me. 

Why the f**k would I spend $100-$200 a night on a room, waiting around for nobody, when I had a nice townhouse apartment of a friend to stay at? And just like the client has reasons he may can’t host, I may have reasons I may can’t host in that particular moment. 

Edited July 4, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 7/1/2023 at 8:41 PM, Lazarus said:

I usually assume that most escorts that are visiting NYC from out of town are staying at a hotel & hosting. I’m not sure if that is realistic elsewhere. 

But if I had a friend who’s like: you can stay at my apartment, but just don’t have company, do outcalls: my choice would be that over getting a room unless I had assurance with a deposit, that I’d be getting some clients.

Now sometimes: I don’t have a choice and I have spent a fortune on hotels if I’m traveling between cities and don’t know anyone. For example last year, I did a big loop from Denver (where I had a friend’s place to stay) to Seattle, down to Portland and San Francisco and then back to Denver. That entire time was hotels and air bnb. Fortunately I was getting the bookings I needed to eat the costs most of the trip, however on my final week: I had about 5 nights of hotel costs where I  didn’t have any bookings. I think it was around tax season: but it was unreal and was a big loss. 
 

Stuff like that is the reason why I may not always be just hanging out in a hotel, if I can avoid it. 

[Guest]

This guy is a cheap client, full stop. HOWEVER...

To be fair, most potential clients are going to want you to host. Some of them are cheating, so they can't have you at their place and they can't risk having a hotel bill show up on their credit card/banking statements. OR, they want to be discreet/DL and don't want guests attracting attention at apartment. Incalls are their only option. Not to mention, many escorts do just hang around in hotel rooms waiting for clients. 

The client is paying to have their needs met at their convenience. It is fantasy fulfillment. They're main consideration is themselves. That is kind of the whole point of paying for sex, it is an easy way to meet their needs without having to meet someone else's. If they were interested or capable of that they would be dating. 

[Luv2play]

I am probably the non-typical client. I host over 90 percent of the time.  Usually hotels which are at least 4 stars so very nice ambience. 

When it's at my place its at least a one hour drive for the escort and often 2 or 3 hours. Often they are on their way to another destination on their tour and an overnight at my place suits them fine.

So I don't run up against the situation Jarrod does. I can see his point of view though but don't have suggestions on how to overcome his problems.

[jeezifonly]

I assume on your profile(s) it says 

•• U_N_A_B_L_E  to   H_O_S_T••

If I see that on a profile I won’t waste time for either of us by making contact. 

[marylander1940]

Most escorts have a place where they host, and if they have roommates or simply can't host at the moment, they focus their early earnings to save money to get a place to host. 

Considering most clients want discretion and some are married to men or women who don't know they hire, hosting or the ability to do it is a huge part of the business.

Answering @Jarrod_Uncut's question, we shouldn't assume ALL escorts host WHEREVER they go. For instance, I know an escort who visited friends in Reno, slept in their sofa and did a couple of outcalls around the free time he had while vacationing. Some escorts because of personal circumstances like being comfortable with life as it is, having roommates, etc. prefer not to do in calls but again they're certainly leaving money on the table....

Edited July 5, 2023 by marylander1940

[SouthOfTheBorder]

3 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Answering the OP question, we shouldn't assume all escorts host,

I would never assume a provider is hosting  - unless it's clearly stated in profile & confirmed while making appointment.  

It's a plus if they do, but not an absolute requirement

[marylander1940]

2 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I would never assume a provider is hosting  - unless it's clearly stated in profile & confirmed while making appointment.  

It's a plus if they do, but not an absolute requirement

 

Agreed!

believe me... most clients don't read profiles and even if the ad says "Visiting X", they'll assume the clients is in another city, etc. 

Aren't you afraid of where does he host considering you hire in 3rd world countries with high crime rates? 

Edited July 5, 2023 by marylander1940

[SouthOfTheBorder]

14 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Aren't you afraid of where does he host considering you hire in 3rd world countries with high crime rates? 

yes - I would only go to a hosting situation in a city where I know the territory very well.  Otherwise, I select the venue

[pubic_assistance]

22 hours ago, BiDude420 said:

The client is paying to have their needs met at their convenience. It is fantasy fulfillment. They're main consideration is themselves. That is kind of the whole point of paying for sex

[marylander1940]

26 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Convenience!

You get what you want, where and when you want, and in most cases GREAT quality! 

Considering the "Grindr fatigue" more guys of all ages and body types, instead of spending hours searching, they simply get what they want and without drama. 

 

Edited July 5, 2023 by marylander1940

[pubic_assistance]

10 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

instead of spending hours searching, they simply get what they want and without drama

I don't experience "drama" on Grindr, but I am tired of the ghosting.

I've never seen an app that has so many people who TALK about hooking up, but then disappear when you try to set up a meet.

Very bizarre.

At least with the promise of some 💲... you're less likely to hook a flake.

[+ Coolwave35]

10 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I don't experience "drama" on Grindr, but I am tired of the ghosting.

I've never seen an app that has so many people who TALK about hooking up, but then disappear when you try to set up a meet.

Very bizarre.

At least with the promise of some 💲... you're less likely to hook a flake.

I won’t flake on you. 

[rvwnsd]

No one, client or escort, should assume anything. Unless your profile says "I can't host" it is perfectly reasonable for a client to ask if you can host. It is also perfectly reasonable for you to say "sorry, I can't host" and leave it at that.

My approach is to articulate what I like to do, the area in which I am staying (Hilton Union Square, Hilton Financial District, etc) or live (Downtown Phoenix) and whether I can host. Case in point. I recently traveled to Santa Cruz, CA for a wedding and I wanted to hook up with an escort. I told him I could travel to him in San Francisco or host in Santa Cruz. He very politely stated he could not host and did not have a way to travel to Santa Cruz.So we didn't meet. No harm, no foul, no drama.

[Jamie21]

Most problems with hookups or paid meetings are caused by misunderstandings through poor communication. It’s rarely intentional although it might feel like that it’s almost always because something has been assumed or something has been missed by accident. 

I get clients assuming all sorts of things even though I think it’s clear on my profile and website. I get a few who contact me thinking I’m female…imagine the surprise they’d get if I didn’t correct them and they turned up at my studio for a massage? Although I reckon I could turn them once they get on the table 🙂
 

[+ ButchAtl]

The Provider is the one who advertised for clients.  I usually assume they can host; especially visiting ones.

If the Provider is unable to host, then I feel that bit of information should be part of the ad.  

 

[Guest]

On 7/5/2023 at 12:26 PM, pubic_assistance said:

I don't experience "drama" on Grindr, but I am tired of the ghosting.

I've never seen an app that has so many people who TALK about hooking up, but then disappear when you try to set up a meet.

Very bizarre.

At least with the promise of some 💲... you're less likely to hook a flake.

AGREED! There are lots of guys on Grindr who are just jerking off while talking dirty. I get tired of being the free sex chat bot.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, ButchAtl said:

The Provider is the one who advertised for clients.  I usually assume they can host; especially visiting ones.

If the Provider is unable to host, then I feel that bit of information should be part of the ad.  

 

See the thing is, OPs page has lots of instructions about incall. There is no language about being unable to host all the time. The website suggests that OP is available to host incall most of the time with 2 hours notice. You can't advertise same day incalls and get upset when clients contact you expecting same day incall. 

The simple solution is to put *Not available for same day incalls* on the ad website. If hosting an incall with two hours notice is a problem, then don't advertise like it isn't a problem.