Jump to content

Etiquette for initial communication?


mohosex

Recommended Posts

On 5/20/2023 at 8:39 AM, Trick said:

I’ve replied with something similar before. The provider texted back, “Why did you contact me if you were not sure you wanted to book?”  That’s why I want to make it clear that I had intended to book but have changed my mind, usually because of the rate or that I’ve realized we were not a match.

“Sorry, I thought you were my prospective plumber. I don’t anticipate springing a leak imminently but I simply wanted to determine whether to put you in my service contact list just in case.”

”Sorry, I thought you were my dentist. My toothache just magically subsided. Placebo effect. Nothing poking around in there today after all.”

“Sorry, I thought you were my uptown broker going downtown. Not broke but not a good fit after all.”

”Sorry, I thought this was 911. The emergency just cleared. Take your next call.”

Edited by SirBillybob
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/19/2023 at 11:51 AM, tassojunior said:

Wonky but important legal difference is that selling sex may be decriminalized but buying or offering money for sex is not. Offering to pay for sex is trending much more socially and legally as a serious crime at the same time selling or offering to sell is being thought of as being a victim of the sex trade. People who pay for sex are seen as predators and the seller as the victim. Stay super friendly about meeting but let the professional talk services and fees. 

This imbalance accounts for why I won’t waste my time with an escort that cannot provide a succinct outline of date elements and charges from the get go, not necessarily in the ad but in the first communication. He isn’t putting himself out on a limb in the same way. It should be structured to minimize his and my time expenditure in the prequel. Then it’s simply when and where, without so directly impugning self as sex trade purchaser. I might also add that very few escorts are up to date on criminalization. 

I have no patience for somebody too clueless to recognize this as a good business model for all concerned. I provided a detailed outline, an exec summary with option for greater detail, for my professional services in a very different arena and only once in 30 years of practice did a client indicate that they wanted to speak initially to get to know me. I didn’t need to accommodate that to remain viable. I also didn’t spend time trying to recruit clients by being vague enough to prompt an inquiry. I took clients that predetermined I was likely the right match after having read my blurb. If they wanted to continue following 1st appointment, up to them. I didn’t scam them with a discussion of service details, the answers to which they could get at no cost by reading ahead of time exactly what happens.

It’s not so hard to figure out the service questions on everybody’s mind and answer them ‘a priori’.

Edited by SirBillybob
Link to comment
Share on other sites

29 minutes ago, SirBillybob said:

“Sorry, I thought you were my prospective plumber. I don’t anticipate springing a leak imminently but I simply wanted to determine whether to put you in my service contact list just in case.”

”Sorry, I thought you were my dentist. My toothache just magically subsided. Placebo effect. Nothing poking around in there today after all.”

“Sorry, I thought you were my uptown broker going downtown. Not broke but not a good fit after all.”

”Sorry, I thought this was 911. The emergency just cleared. Take your next call.”

It’s a good thing I don’t have to match sexually with any of these professionals, although I find a lot of firefighters and EMTs very hot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, Trick said:

It’s a good thing I don’t have to match sexually with any of these professionals, although I find a lot of firefighters and EMTs very hot.

And if they ask “Why did you contact me?” you can ask all distressed damsel-like what CO on the detector means and can they please complete the whole word, kkkk. But now we’re veering towards bachelo(ette) territory. 

Edited by SirBillybob
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/20/2023 at 6:38 PM, LookingAround said:

In NYC prostitution is specifically not prosecuted. 

Being the John still is prosecuted in all cities where prostitution itself isn't (LA/Chicago/NYC).

I understand that some escorts are so popular that they get texted by a lot of people. But if I text someone with intent to hire and make clear I'm interested in hiring, I'd think escorts could at least respond with "I'm busy" instead of just ghosting me (if an escort ghosts me, I never text them again).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

Being the John still is prosecuted in all cities where prostitution itself isn't (LA/Chicago/NYC).

I understand that some escorts are so popular that they get texted by a lot of people. But if I text someone with intent to hire and make clear I'm interested in hiring, I'd think escorts could at least respond with "I'm busy" instead of just ghosting me (if an escort ghosts me, I never text them again).

You’re mistaken. My comment stands. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/20/2023 at 7:15 AM, pubic_assistance said:

I always say:

Thanks, but that's out of my budget.

Very often providers will ask me what I was looking to spend. But I tell them I would never ask them to work for less than they feel they are worth and leave it at that.

No one is going to work for less without providing less. So it's pointless to haggle

 

Not true.. 

Some do what you say, I'm sure however there are some that still care. 

I understand people have budgets, however I do work with people all the time within reason... And... I still give 110%  😁

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, MuscleDaddyRWC said:

Does anyone else besides me not ask cost in their initial communication with a masseur?  I look at the reviews and see what others have paid so that gives me an approximate budget. 

I'm like that, too. Usually if I get to the point of contacting them, it means I've officially made up my mind to see them.  They'd have to quote some outrageous fee in order to deter me.

Once I had such a pleasant back-and-forth text conversation setting up a meet with a certain provider that I completely forgot to ask.  I finally remembered to ask on the eve of the appointment just because I didn't want to arrive short funded. His quote was exactly what I expected it to be. (By that point I probably would have paid higher!)  He was well worth it, BTW.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, MuscleDaddyRWC said:

Does anyone else besides me not ask cost in their initial communication with a masseur?  I look at the reviews and see what others have paid so that gives me an approximate budget. 

I get it all out in my first contact as I don't want to waste time going back and forth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

These are red flag opener lines for me: 

1). “Hey”

2). “How much for sex”

3). “I want you now”

4). Inquiries about rape, abduction, drugs, bodily harm, animals, minors… Those are all instant blocks. 
 
introduce yourself in a neutral way. Give some sense about where you’re located, what your profile name is if chatting off site, where you saw this person… After an intro you might discuss what kind of things you’re interested in and when you think you might be looking for… You can talk about what your specific interests are as communication develops.

 Inquiring at some points about the rates for somebody’s time can be a completely separate topic from your personal interests.
  Inquiring about the cost of a specific/any sexual act is technically inquiring about prostitution. That approach increases your liability instantly. 
  
 Inquiring about the cost of someone’s time is not prostitution or illegal~ 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/20/2023 at 4:15 AM, pubic_assistance said:

I always say:

Thanks, but that's out of my budget.

Very often providers will ask me what I was looking to spend. But I tell them I would never ask them to work for less than they feel they are worth and leave it at that.

No one is going to work for less without providing less. So it's pointless to haggle

 

Haggling and situations where providers under cut each other with regards to wages, is unhealthy for the industry, because ultimately it lowers standards and the quality of services~ like anybody else, providers are under the pressure of inflation, post pandemic, rising costs for the goods and services. They also consume.

 While providing benefits to customers in and providing extras for customer, loyalty is common in business is common. He don’t go into a grocery store and start negotiating the prices on goods there, or into a doctors office, and saying you’re simply going to refuse to pay their outrageous fees because you want a better deal~ 

 that whole concept of haggling also encourages escorts to over inflate the rates, so that once the haggling is done, they’re charging something appropriate to their own cost of living with the added aspect of some profit, because successful businesses are typically based on profit. 
I don’t negotiate my prices for general sessions shorter than a weekend, because that pricing inconsistency it can lead to an an accurate, superficial appearance of favoritism among clients or certain types of clients. Then they can actually be harmful to your business.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/29/2023 at 7:05 AM, SirBillybob said:

“Sorry, I thought you were my prospective plumber. I don’t anticipate springing a leak imminently but I simply wanted to determine whether to put you in my service contact list just in case.”

”Sorry, I thought you were my dentist. My toothache just magically subsided. Placebo effect. Nothing poking around in there today after all.”

“Sorry, I thought you were my uptown broker going downtown. Not broke but not a good fit after all.”

”Sorry, I thought this was 911. The emergency just cleared. Take your next call.”

911 is obligated to come to you if you have need. a provider isn’t, it’s a negotiation.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"I'm horny. Wanna fuck?!" - Ignore.

"hi" or "u free?" - I'll still generally ignore. 

"Hi, I saw your ad and I'm interested" - They'll get a... "Thanks, please do tell me about yourself and what you're looking for?". If they elaborate within the next two message, cool... I'll engage and pursue.  

"Hi. My name is XXXX and I'm interested in an hour of XXXXX. I'm XX years old, XXXX height & build, not into XXXXX. Can you help!?"🧡🤲 WIN!!! You have my complete attention and I'll see what I can do 🙂

Re: Rates. 

I will specify my hourly rates and that trusted regular arrangements or longer bookings may be open to a little discount. But if you continue to haggle or push that my (completely standard national) rates are too high, or if I can do a "first timer discount", I will stop replying. If I were to offer a "first timer discount" and you never returned after, you've just screwed me out of my usual rate. Simple. So don't ask.

"But I know a masseur who'll also do a happy ending for just £40!" - Well, I'm an escort. Not a masseur. If you know a masseur who is happy to compromise their professional code of conduct and devalue themselves by doing sex work and not getting paid a standard rate for it, more fool them! 

This isn't an auction. If you don't like a sex worker's rates and terms of their own flexibility, please don't insult them by trying to barter, complain or plead a case. Us devaluing ourselves is of absolutely no benefit to us. 

 

Edited by GregWillingAble
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/2/2023 at 1:01 PM, Tygerscent said:

These are red flag opener lines for me: 

1). “Hey”

2). “How much for sex”

3). “I want you now”

4). Inquiries about rape, abduction, drugs, bodily harm, animals, minors… Those are all instant blocks. 

Definitely agree with this assessment. 1) is 90% of the time an exchange that never goes anywhere. 2) is the wrong type of client for me (I don’t do sex only sessions), 3) is looking for sex chat and 4) is definitely an instant block. 

“Hello I’m interested in booking but I have some questions I’d like to ask ….etc” will get a positive response. I’m a professional, it’s not necessary to be flippant, lewd or coy about arranging a session. Where I work selling sexual services is lawful so no need to be abstract in conversation either. 
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Usually a one-word or abrupt messages such as below are redflags:

"Sup?" (100% ignore, I hate this so much!!)

"Hey, free?"

"What ya rates?"

"hi 👋" (100% ignore)

"face pics?"

"pick up ya phone"

These are all real and very common first contacts from clients and most of the time they ended up not the type of client I want to engage.

Asking for rates before telling what's your expectation is also a redflag. If you go to any service provider and ask for a quote, they will need to know what exactly do you want first. Even a very simple description such as "I want an hour massage at my place at.... with these requirements: ..." will be enough for providers to give a quote. Be straight to the point and clearly describe what you want is often very welcomed!

Requesting for face photo in the first message is also a bit awkward to me. There are reasons why providers chose not to put their face photos in public. They may want some discretion and will only share face photo when feeling comfortable. Usually after chatting with a client and I feel comfortable about him, I would he happy to share my face photos but not at the first contact. 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
On 6/6/2023 at 10:44 AM, GregWillingAble said:

"Hi, I saw your ad and I'm interested" - They'll get a... "Thanks, please do tell me about yourself and what you're looking for?". If they elaborate within the next two message, cool... I'll engage and pursue.  

"Hi. My name is XXXX and I'm interested in an hour of XXXXX. I'm XX years old, XXXX height & build, not into XXXXX. Can you help!?"🧡🤲 WIN!!! You have my complete attention and I'll see what I can do 🙂

 

I do a version of #1, although I mention RM and ask them if they're currently working.

I'd like to do #2, but those "XXXXX"s can take up a lot of space, and I'm worried about breaking someone's attention span.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...