mohosex Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 First timer here, and I've found some escorts I'm really interested in who advertise the exact fetishes I'm interested in exploring. I'm just a little confused about how the initial chatting goes. Am I meant to ask outright in my first message? Is that a no-go? Am I supposed to pretend I'm not interested in sex at all during the initial text communication to get around the grey area legality? lol. Sorry... just a bit unclear on how this all works and I don't want to scare away a provider lol. But I also don't want to pretend I want a massage when I want other things...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeezifonly Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 “I think we are both into activities you mentioned in your profile” He’ll likely ask “what specifically?” Tell him. Be clear about who is doing what to whom in your ideal encounter. + Pensant and pubic_assistance 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mohosex Posted May 19, 2023 Author Share Posted May 19, 2023 Gotcha, so I don't need to beat around the bush? I figured they might think I'm a cop setting up a sting if I'm straight up asking for sex right away lol. Clearly overthinking this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
56harrisond Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 2 hours ago, mohosex said: Gotcha, so I don't need to beat around the bush? I figured they might think I'm a cop setting up a sting if I'm straight up asking for sex right away lol. Clearly overthinking this! There are two schools of thought on that one. I adhere to the legal one especially because of the mass collection of meta-data that is so common now that you don't want to be obviously breaking the law even when you THINK you're having a private conversation. My rule is discuss your INTERESTS and ask how much for their TIME. Never discuss sex for money. Once you meet and things get rolling you can be more specific about details Personally I like to MEET people first for a massage ..see how things go and then discuss a more sex oriented encounter for a second meet if i like their vibe. Have fun. rvwnsd, jeezifonly, + Pensant and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said: There are two schools of thought on that one. I adhere to the legal one especially because of the mass collection of meta-data that is so common now that you don't want to be obviously breaking the law even when you THINK you're having a private conversation. My rule is discuss your INTERESTS and ask how much for their TIME. Never discuss sex for money. Once you meet and things get rolling you can be more specific about details Personally I like to MEET people first for a massage ..see how things go and then discuss a more sex oriented encounter for a second meet if i like their vibe. Have fun. My approach is similar to @pubic_assistance's, with a subtle difference. In my first message I introduce myself, state my interests, and close by asking the provider for his thoughts. No discussion of money in the first communication. Once we have established we are a match I ask "What is your rate?" Regardless how you handle the inquiry about his fee, be forthright. + bashful and pubic_assistance 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ azdr0710 Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 all good replies above..... I'd also hold off on money talk until a second contact.....as suggested, associate money only with time...... in my first contact, I accurately describe myself (brief stats, age, etc.), say that I'm interested in a low-key two-hour meet, mention no smoking or drugs, ask if they host or not, and ask if they have questions for me.......keep it to-the-point, polite, professional.......they'll probably ask what you're into in the reply and you can get specific at that point.......it is hoped that their first reply is more than the dreaded one-word answers like "s'up" or "when?"......look for guys who at least try to write in full sentences and answer your questions...... go thru the other threads linked upthread here....lots of good advice in those......keep the communications brief and only when necessary......no giddy daily "hey" texts allowed!! 😉 pubic_assistance, + bashful, + Pensant and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie21 Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 If you’re talking to someone in the UK (or elsewhere in Europe) there’s no need to be concerned about the legalities of paying for sex. It’s legal here so be clear about what you want. I much prefer clients to get to the point quickly. If clients are coy it’s difficult…. Example: guys ask “how erotic is it?”. I might say “very erotic” but that doesn’t really help us!. He wants to ask something like “will you kiss?” or “will you fuck me? or “can I suck you?” (To which I might answer “I don’t know…can you?”) but he doesn’t because it’s embarrassing or he doesn’t want to offend me. Hey, if you do book a session we’ll be naked together at some point and I’ll see your cum shot face! …so why be embarrassed to ask me a question? And as for causing offence…well I’ve had all sorts of questions so nothing is likely to offend me. I’m in the wrong job if I get offended by someone asking me about sex. So aside from being careful about the legal situation in your jurisdiction I suggest most providers will want you to be very clear about what you want and get to the point quickly. If it’s a masseur who is advertising ‘sensual or erotic’ massage you can be fairly confident that he’s ok to be asked about sexual activity. If he advertises as therapeutic massage only then I wouldn’t ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 5 hours ago, Jamie21 said: If you’re talking to someone in the UK (or elsewhere in Europe) there’s no need to be concerned about the legalities of paying for sex. It’s legal here so be clear about what you want. I much prefer clients to get to the point quickly. And conversely - in the United States shifting political landscapes WILL produce sting operations in various districts. So discretion is highly recommended. So do the opposite of what @Jamie21 is recommending. Even places like NYC where prostitution is "decriminalized" it does NOT mean it's "legal". So beware of the risks and don't confuse the apparent casual blind eye that comes and goes with law enforcement. You don't want to be caught with your pants down on the day a local senator is running for re-election and decides to "clean-up" his district with arrests of "sex traffickers". A term that lumps together ALL activity surrounding escorting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 I advise against putting anything in print/text that could be used against you in a court of law, when in the US. It's OK to ask for the fee by text, but I usually ask for a brief phone call before booking. Assuming this is a reviewed escort, the phone call will not be recorded (not a police sting). But texts are forever, and can be documented years later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ tassojunior Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 (edited) Wonky but important legal difference is that selling sex may be decriminalized but buying or offering money for sex is not. Offering to pay for sex is trending much more socially and legally as a serious crime at the same time selling or offering to sell is being thought of as being a victim of the sex trade. People who pay for sex are seen as predators and the seller as the victim. Stay super friendly about meeting but let the professional talk services and fees. Edited May 19, 2023 by tassojunior pubic_assistance, MscleLovr, SirBillybob and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trick Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 How do you tell the provider that you’re not okay with his rate? ”Sorry, your rate is a bit too high for me” ”Sorry, your rate is beyond my budget” ”Sorry, I cannot afford your rate. Would it be better not to mention the rate at all? How do you say you’re not booking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeBiDude Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 51 minutes ago, Trick said: How do you tell the provider that you’re not okay with his rate? ”Sorry, your rate is a bit too high for me” ”Sorry, your rate is beyond my budget” ”Sorry, I cannot afford your rate. Would it be better not to mention the rate at all? How do you say you’re not booking? I always say “I respect your rate….but it’s out of my ballpark, thank you”. Medin, Simon Suraci, pubic_assistance and 1 other 1 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 6 hours ago, Trick said: How do you tell the provider that you’re not okay with his rate? ”Sorry, your rate is a bit too high for me” ”Sorry, your rate is beyond my budget” ”Sorry, I cannot afford your rate. Would it be better not to mention the rate at all? How do you say you’re not booking? I would say…”Ok thanks” after they tell you their rate & then leave it at that. If they ask you if you want to book then say “No” or “Maybe some other time”. . (In case you hit the lotto someday.). + bashful, Simon Suraci and pubic_assistance 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trick Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 2 hours ago, Lazarus said: I would say…”Ok thanks” after they tell you their rate & then leave it at that. If they ask you if you want to book then say “No” or “Maybe some other time”. . (In case you hit the lotto someday.). If after they tell me the rate I decide I’m not booking, I would want to let them know as soon as possible. I will go with @MikeBiDude’s approach on this. pubic_assistance, + KensingtonHomo, MikeBiDude and 1 other 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie21 Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 There’s no need to say why you’re not booking. Just say ‘thanks I’ll come back to you if I want to book’. Many enquiries just end inexplicably which surprises me…it’s “hi are you free today?, I reply “hi yes I am available between x and x” and then ….nothing! Or even “hi”…to which the only reply possible is “hi” and then it all goes quiet. Very strange. + KensingtonHomo and Simon Suraci 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 (edited) 20 hours ago, Trick said: How do you tell the provider that you’re not okay with his rate? ”Sorry, your rate is a bit too high for me” ”Sorry, your rate is beyond my budget” ”Sorry, I cannot afford your rate. Would it be better not to mention the rate at all? How do you say you’re not booking? I always say: Thanks, but that's out of my budget. Very often providers will ask me what I was looking to spend. But I tell them I would never ask them to work for less than they feel they are worth and leave it at that. No one is going to work for less without providing less. So it's pointless to haggle Edited May 20, 2023 by pubic_assistance spelling + poolboy48220, + Pensant, MikeBiDude and 6 others 3 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trick Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 3 hours ago, Jamie21 said: There’s no need to say why you’re not booking. Just say ‘thanks I’ll come back to you if I want to book’. I’ve replied with something similar before. The provider texted back, “Why did you contact me if you were not sure you wanted to book?” That’s why I want to make it clear that I had intended to book but have changed my mind, usually because of the rate or that I’ve realized we were not a match. pubic_assistance and MikeBiDude 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trick Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 (edited) 26 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said: No one is going to work for less without providing less. So it's pointless to haggle This is the exact same reason why I never ask for a discount. I also avoid promos that say something like “$50 off Tuesdays” Edited May 20, 2023 by Trick BaronArtz, Simon Suraci, + bashful and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ poolboy48220 Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 21 minutes ago, Trick said: I’ve replied with something similar before. The provider texted back, “Why did you contact me if you were not sure you wanted to book?” That’s why I want to make it clear that I had intended to book but have changed my mind, usually because of the rate or that I’ve realized we were not a match. That kind of answer puzzles me. It's like a sales clerk saying "Why did you come in the store if you weren't sure you were buying something?" + bashful, + DrownedBoy and Simon Suraci 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trick Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, poolboy48220 said: That kind of answer puzzles me. It's like a sales clerk saying "Why did you come in the store if you weren't sure you were buying something?" I get it from the provider’s perspective - why even reach out if there was no intention to book. Some providers ask in their first reply, “Are you looking to set an appointment?” My answer to this is, “Yes I am, if we are a match.” That’s my way of saying, “I’m not out to waste your time, this is a serious inquiry and I will book an appointment with you if we both agree that things will work well between us.” If things go south from there, I’d know the meeting wasn’t meant to be. Edited May 20, 2023 by Trick + bashful, + DrownedBoy, GTMike and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie21 Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 10 hours ago, Trick said: I’ve replied with something similar before. The provider texted back, “Why did you contact me if you were not sure you wanted to book?” That’s why I want to make it clear that I had intended to book but have changed my mind, usually because of the rate or that I’ve realized we were not a match. Clients contact me with questions, which I answer. I just assume that if they don’t book they didn’t like my answer. It’s no problem, I’m not forcing them to like me or what I do! JourneysEnd, Simon Suraci, MikeBiDude and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LookingAround Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 On 5/19/2023 at 9:43 AM, pubic_assistance said: And conversely - in the United States shifting political landscapes WILL produce sting operations in various districts. So discretion is highly recommended. So do the opposite of what @Jamie21 is recommending. Even places like NYC where prostitution is "decriminalized" it does NOT mean it's "legal". So beware of the risks and don't confuse the apparent casual blind eye that comes and goes with law enforcement. You don't want to be caught with your pants down on the day a local senator is running for re-election and decides to "clean-up" his district with arrests of "sex traffickers". A term that lumps together ALL activity surrounding escorting. In NYC prostitution is specifically not prosecuted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckguy Posted May 21, 2023 Share Posted May 21, 2023 Many clients, myself included start by showing interest and avoiding specific asks right away (I saw your ad, I’m interested in in/out, x dates/times work for me, I’m traveling/local) and offering to answer any questions. thomas, spidir and + azdr0710 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
italianboyph Posted May 29, 2023 Share Posted May 29, 2023 Yeah I think it's always good to communicate exactly what you want and exactly what you're looking for. Everything else will fall right into place. NYXboy and Medin 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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