Most Annoying Masseur Behavior You've Experienced

[Simon Suraci]

4 hours ago, Just Chuck said:

every ten minutes or so, I got to listen to a Home Depot commercial

Unforgivable, unprofessional, cheap.

This happened to me recently with another guy and I was shocked and embarrassed for him. More on him soon - this was one of many red flags. 

Any serious masseur will invest in a premium account whether it be Pandora, Spotify, or other. Pandora premium is $13/mo. Insignificant investment when you’re considering making many hundreds to thousands a month depending on how much you work.

We pay much more than that for our massage ads. Like those ads, this is just a normal cost of doing business. More on ad costs in this post:

 

[Simon Suraci]

9 hours ago, DWnyc said:

Wonder if there’s a happy medium …

An upsell doesn’t annoy me if it’s done in a way that feels like I have full choice and am being respected.

And if the provider has time, and if the client is already there and has interest and $ available, it’s an impulse purchase that can be a win win. 

I err on the side of caution. @DWnycHow do you suggest, from the client perspective, the best way to go about upselling, assuming time is no issue for them or for me? Assume it’s a first time client and I have no info about previous client interest, or their willingness or ability to pay? Again…the scenario is the client is asking for services, or assuming something is already included that isn’t…not me suggesting or bringing it up out of nowhere.

Not sure how to handle this because every client is different. I would say from past experience way more than 50% of the time one of the factors is working against us like time or willingness to pay or ability to pay. A lot of times a client will scoff or be put off by a high number, or saddened and disappointed because they’re willing but unable to pay it. Kind of ruins the vibe. Since one of these is more than likely to occur, I generally avoid having the conversation after the session begins.

If the client asks for something directly and makes it very clear that they are able and willing to pay, I have no problems discussing and offering services, but that is exceedingly rare. Most clients have a hard time asking for even the most basic of things like more/less pressure. I appreciate a direct client. There’s no reason to be embarrassed or shy about your needs.

[DWnyc]

@Simon Suraci I don’t disagree with your points. 

Just wondering if it’s possible to increase the pie for providers in a way that clients don’t feel bullied or pressured and may actually appreciate.

So not the timeshare salesperson … but the one who points out with that new jacket you now look stunning so have you thought about those shoes …

Totally understand and agree with the points on feasibility because of interruptions, ability to pay, affecting mood etc. 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I err on the side of caution. @DWnycHow do you suggest, from the client perspective, the best way to go about upselling, assuming time is no issue for them or for me? Assume it’s a first time client and I have no info about previous client interest, or their willingness or ability to pay?

So my first time seeing a masseur I often don't know what to expect.  Some clients are nervous or afraid to talk about things directly as to not offend because those conversation can move into sex work territory quickly and I have found that different masseurs view sensual/erotic/HE very differently, even if they offer the service.  What I mean is that for some, it's a given that there will be a HE.  For some, mutual nudity and touching is a part and for some it's not.  Others may go further.  I think that we have discussed in another thread that the masseur having a HE isn't something that typically happens naturally, but that it may be on the table if there is a discussion and possibly compensation at some point.  -  I'm not sure that the upsell is a one-size-fits-all thing.  Each client is different and it really has to be what you as the masseur are comfortable offering and discussing.  Sorry that was a long post without a resolution, but for me, I would be embarrassed and afraid to start the conversation.  

[Simon Suraci]

3 hours ago, DWnyc said:

the one who points out with that new jacket you now look stunning so have you thought about those shoes

It’s a very fine line to walk. Skilled is the man who can do this without giving off a pushy vibe. I’ve done it successfully before, but it’s not my strength. Occasionally I upsell before the appointment, when a client is booking. For example, “Would you like to add a body scrub? It’s popular with my clients.” I have lots of room for improvement in marketing and selling.

The good news is my services sell themselves. The hurdle is getting people to try them when they otherwise wouldn’t. I have clients who have seen me for over a year before trying the body scrub and comment something to the effect of: “I’m never skipping this service again. It should be mandatory!”

Here is one subtle way I indicate more services are available that I do not explicitly advertise: In addition to beautiful homoerotic art, I have some functional wall ‘decor’ hanging on hooks that ignites client curiosity and leads some to ask about how I use it, and if they might try something related in their next session. If it’s in the middle of the current session, I discuss it freely and mention it has a different pricing structure without getting into the weeds. I still defer to the “let’s discuss the nitty gritty business details afterwards” approach. 

[Simon Suraci]

4 minutes ago, questbear said:

my first time seeing a masseur I often don't know what to expect.

You might start by asking before you book if the masseur is comfortable discussing sensual/erotic aspects of their service. This step is an opportunity for the masseur to say “Sorry, I offer therapeutic only”, or maybe he prefers discussing those details over the phone instead of putting it in writing.

Many of the guys will say yes. That gives you an opportunity to ask things like “do you offer mutual touch”, or “do you offer a happy ending?”, and so on. If they have higher rates or additional fees for extras, they can break it down for you right there. Or say that XYZ is included, or that ABC is an upcharge.

That works well for me. I like dealing with business before and after table time, so that you can relax and enjoy your massage and get exactly what you want with no anxiety about what it costs or if something you want to happen actually will. I want satisfied clients.

One of the most irritating questions is “What is included in your massage?” The client has something in mind they want. I’d rather them just ask for it and I say yes or no. Or discuss pricing depending on their particular needs. That’s just me.

No need to beat around the bush. And man, have I seen some bushes in my day…and beaten around them. Have I mentioned I offer body trimming? 😆 

[Guest]

@Simon Suraci

I get what you are saying, but I think the concern clients have is putting that in writing and it looking like they are asking for sex work services and can get in trouble legally.  That's why it's a slippery slope.  I mean that's why many masseurs put that they are therapeutic only and that the client is paying for the time of the massage only and anything else is considered between consenting adults.  Maybe that's my antiquated view though.  I think that's why there is a level of nervousness in asking up front. 

[Simon Suraci]

8 hours ago, questbear said:

putting that in writing

I understand. This is a fair point on both the client side and provider side. To each their own. One way to address this concern:

9 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

maybe he prefers discussing those details over the phone instead of putting it in writing

[Jamie21]

13 hours ago, questbear said:

@Simon Suraci

I get what you are saying, but I think the concern clients have is putting that in writing and it looking like they are asking for sex work services and can get in trouble legally.  That's why it's a slippery slope.  I mean that's why many masseurs put that they are therapeutic only and that the client is paying for the time of the massage only and anything else is considered between consenting adults.  Maybe that's my antiquated view though.  I think that's why there is a level of nervousness in asking up front. 

I notice that with American clients. It’s legal here (in UK) to sell sexual services so if you’re speaking with a British or European masseur feel free to ask for whatever you like. If he’s advertising as a sensual or erotic masseur you’re not likely to offend him. 

[amanfr]

The most annoying and most disgusting for me is when a massage therapist drips sweat on you while giving you a massage. It happened a couple of times and I had to stop it right there.

[Thisismrlit]

Asking me if I’m going to “finish”. It’s an instant turn off and I will not hire them again. 

[pubic_assistance]

Most Annoying Masseur Behavior You've Experienced:

Trying to jerk me off when I'm not even hard.

( Read the room, man ) 😒

 

[Simon Suraci]

21 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Trying to jerk me off when I'm not even hard.

I hear this. Clients differ though. Some would be disappointed in the lack of effort. Others have ED, prostate issues, or anxiety, or, like you, just aren’t feeling it. Some clients release without even being hard (not that uncommon). Some clients are very relaxed from the massage and aren’t hard, but get hard with some attention, and want it.

Damned if you do. “Read the room, man”

Damned if you don’t. “I’m disappointed he didn’t even try”

[NyGold]

Masseurs offering erotic or sensual who take offense if you indicate you want something more …

lroviers in general taking (or should I say faking) offense at anything

fine if an individual provider doesn’t offer a service (that’s not the part that annoys me) and a client should figure that out before confirming an appointment, but in this industry I find it so disingenuous to act like there is moral outrage at the idea of something that isn’t atypical with other providers or in regular male-male interaction.

 

 

 

[Simon Suraci]

14 hours ago, NyGold said:

disingenuous to act like there is moral outrage

I agree. It’s common and nobody should be scandalized by discussions of erotic and sensual elements. It’s not a big deal to say no, sorry I don’t offer xyz. It’s also ok to request a phone call if the provider is being sensitive to providing information in writing. It’s also ok to list erotic and/or sensual and have different definitions of what those mean and to clarify with the client “I offer abc, but not xyz”.

[+ glutes]

Most Annoying Masseur Behavior You've Experienced

Seeing he isn't going to change the linens for next client . Probably didn't change them for me either.

Edited May 3, 2023 by glutes

[dcman]

Constantly checking cell phone and not changing linen between clients.  Masseurs and Escorts alike should turn their phones off when they arrive.

[LookingAround]

On 5/3/2023 at 6:15 AM, Simon Suraci said:

I hear this. Clients differ though. Some would be disappointed in the lack of effort. Others have ED, prostate issues, or anxiety, or, like you, just aren’t feeling it. Some clients release without even being hard (not that uncommon). Some clients are very relaxed from the massage and aren’t hard, but get hard with some attention, and want it.

Damned if you do. “Read the room, man”

Damned if you don’t. “I’m disappointed he didn’t even try”

Yes. I’m usually so relaxed during a massage I’m soft as can be but super horny and want to get off. If a masseur mistakenly “read the room man” I’d be VERY disappointed. Fortunately my masseurs are more savvy than that and with some coaxing I get hard and do cum. 

[rentier]

I've definitely had the recent misfortune of the one-handed massage while silently texting AND Spotify with ads in the background. He was a nice guy and didn't make me feel bad, but it felt like he was phoning it in

[dutchal]

10 hours ago, rentier said:

I've definitely had the recent misfortune of the one-handed massage while silently texting AND Spotify with ads in the background. He was a nice guy and didn't make me feel bad, but it felt like he was phoning it in

Pun intended?

[rentier]

30 minutes ago, dutchal said:

Pun intended?

Heh heh yes!!! I'm glad you caught it 😊

[Phlmuscle]

Talking non stop and answering the phone.

[BigNoiseDallas]

32 minutes ago, rentier said:

Heh heh yes!!! I'm glad you caught it 😊

I also caught it, LOL. Good job!

[Cari]

Checking their cell phone

only using one hand

lazily rubbing the same one area

being too chatty

not keeping their hygiene in check

bragging about how good they are and how lucky you are to have experienced their hands 😐

also as much as I love animals, having your dog or cat in the room during the session is pretty annoying

Their partner being in the next room watching tv or talking on the phone loudly or making a bunch of noise in the kitchen

Edited May 4, 2023 by Cari

[EastbayMike]

12 hours ago, rentier said:

I've definitely had the recent misfortune of the one-handed massage while silently texting AND Spotify with ads in the background. He was a nice guy and didn't make me feel bad, but it felt like he was phoning it in

He wasn't a "nice guy."  He ripped you off.